Please Help with Cancer Male
This topic was created in the Relationships forum by help on Tuesday, January 9, 2007 and has 16 replies.
I am still trying to figure out this Cancer guy I've been seeing for a month. Do they usually say things they don't mean? He told me he wasn't wanting anything serious, but my gosh, he contacts me every weekend and we spend 3 - 4 days together and he just really seems like he's into me. He also has made many "I love you," "I'm falling into you" statements when drunk (which I know he doesn't mean literally being drunk and all, but maybe there's something to it?). He actually accused ME of pushing/pulling him and told me that I'm hard to figure out. Whenever we are together he is VERY attentive to my wants/needs and is constantly affectionate. Any advice? Just forget him and move on or keep seeing him and see what happens? I have definitely tried to put a hault on any feelings bc I know I'm just asking to be hurt. Help please!
I'm a sag with pisces rising :-) Thanks!
I think i dated your Cancer guy LOL. Yes, they live in their own reality that they made up at a given point in time. Mine named our children, dogs and went to pick out a white fence. It's all in their imagination. All promises and none delivered. Just as you i didn't want a serious relationship with him and he pushed me into it. Then he started saying that i was pushy about it. Also, he was always a victim and everybody was out to get him. He constantly told me that everything had to be on my terms and had power struggles with me. He even argued over food choices just to piss me off. Never wanted to go anywhere with me. Btw: does he have any substance abuse issues? Mine also accused me of "pushing/pulling him and told me that I'm hard to figure out" One minute he'd say that i was the worst for him and we have nothing in common and it's not going anywhere. Then 5 minutes later i was the best thing on this earth. I think he was bipolar. He said that everything was my fault and he wants out. I said fine. Then he called me to say that he moved on. Why??? All i can say i was extremely miserable with him and don't understand what was keeping me in that situation. I'm much happier now!!! Also, he crawled back now saying how much he loves me and everything was his fault.
Hope this helps. You're not the only one who suffered with a Cancer
Trully sorry...
Hope this helps. You're not the only one who suffered with a Cancer
Trully sorry...
cancer be hard to handle for free-spirited, fun loving sag and aries. I'm sure you ladies will agree that you love the attention and adoration a cancer man provides.... but not so much the jealousy,possessiveness, and insecurity. It's a rough combination. And it's rest easy that it's rough on him too! Cancers don't say things they don't mean. They mean them ! it's just that they are idealistic and sometimes promise things [with every intention of following through] that in reality they just can't deliver. They are very confused people with many internal struggles...one minute they've convinced them selves it's entirely your fault...then as they continue to analyze the situation they find ways to believe it is their fault.... but that makes them feel bad...so they convince themselves again it was you. It's not just a tug of war with you - it's a battle with themselves as well. It takes A LOT of patience, and if you're not up for it don't feel like you failed - just accept that it's not your cup of tea and move on.
just curious if this guy is in nyc and his name is al?
Its always the Cancer man's fault. We are horrible, horrible people. Nobody is worse, lol.
I think u should give him time and then maybe he will come around. but untill then keep your head held high
Mlover
I am a cancer who is dating a cancer male. Our relationship is so great because we know how to please each other. I think that you should leave him a lone. I believe in astrology and a cancer does not get along with a Sagitarius. My cancer male does act the same as you describe your cancer male. Sometimes with being a cancer we tend to fall out of love of forget about the feelings that we have with someone. I am going to tell you this if you stick it out Cancers are very loving, and sweet, but when we sometimes feel crossed about something we will let that person know. Be careful about what you say to the Cancer male because they only want to hear things that sounds good to them. We tend to want to have ur way a lot of times. I think you should stay with him if you can stick it out. The ways you can please him is by caressing him and showing him things that you think another women has ever done before. Let me know how that works out for you.
I am a cancer who is dating a cancer male. Our relationship is so great because we know how to please each other. I think that you should leave him a lone. I believe in astrology and a cancer does not get along with a Sagitarius. My cancer male does act the same as you describe your cancer male. Sometimes with being a cancer we tend to fall out of love of forget about the feelings that we have with someone. I am going to tell you this if you stick it out Cancers are very loving, and sweet, but when we sometimes feel crossed about something we will let that person know. Be careful about what you say to the Cancer male because they only want to hear things that sounds good to them. We tend to want to have ur way a lot of times. I think you should stay with him if you can stick it out. The ways you can please him is by caressing him and showing him things that you think another women has ever done before. Let me know how that works out for you.
MLOVER, thank you very much for posting here, your advice is great, and so spot on, very true......cancers are lovely/adorable people unfortunatelly most of the times are misunderstood, can i please ask you to read my post below and tell me what you think?
thank you very much
thank you very much
my cancer is only clingy when i throw a tantrum or when i he senses that i am upset with him(he will not stop texting/calling/discussing till he is convinced i am ok), i think we all need to take the time to understand them, because as a scorpio i tend to be direct, blunt and not "strategic" about stuff, i am not able to read between the lines and i realized how skillful my cancer guy is when he is insecure and wants reassurance(all the time-which is sweet), please read below and let me know if i am wrong: at lunch time yesterday he asked what i was doing in the evening as he would like to see me, after i told him that i was going to the gym, he said he will let me know later what time....then after i finished work, he texted if 9pm was ok, then i said yes and after 20 min he says if we can do it friday, i said no, of course, and then he sent me 3 texts explaining that he has to get up early tomorrow and will have a busy day...saying that i should be considerate and understanding as work comes before pleasure and then i said that i will always be considerate when it comes to him and that i work too but i put him first regardless so then he said ok, then let's see each other tonight at 9pm, after i said no, again, he said, but you want me, don't you??, he is also very impatient.........but i think this was sweet, if i need reassurance
........i just ask for it but he has to go through all of this!!!(the emotions must be reall overbearing for him)
sorry for the long post, but your input will be much appreciated
sorry for the long post, but your input will be much appreciated
Hey Scorpio,
I think that you should be patient with him. Cancers somtimes tend to be very busy people. I know because I work a full-time job and my lover does also. We are in the same type of job desription and sometimes we are not always able to see each other, but when we do it is like magic. Cancers have a lot to offer, so just be patient with him. I was reading another post about Cancers and we are very skill full people and very smart. I am going to tell you this as being a cancer we can sometimes be very sneaky people, but will only tell lies to people that have mistreated us in some way. Another thing is Cancers and Scorpios are a good mate so don't get mad at him when he says he can't make it. We like to comfort our lovers so it is not that he don't wont to spend the time with you. He is just probably tied up in something else. Please don't let a man go when he explains to you why he can't make it. To me that is a good thing because most guys won't even explain they will tell you that they can't make it and that is it. Please be patient with this cancer male. Cancers like to take things slow, so don't rush. Write back and tell me what you think.
I think that you should be patient with him. Cancers somtimes tend to be very busy people. I know because I work a full-time job and my lover does also. We are in the same type of job desription and sometimes we are not always able to see each other, but when we do it is like magic. Cancers have a lot to offer, so just be patient with him. I was reading another post about Cancers and we are very skill full people and very smart. I am going to tell you this as being a cancer we can sometimes be very sneaky people, but will only tell lies to people that have mistreated us in some way. Another thing is Cancers and Scorpios are a good mate so don't get mad at him when he says he can't make it. We like to comfort our lovers so it is not that he don't wont to spend the time with you. He is just probably tied up in something else. Please don't let a man go when he explains to you why he can't make it. To me that is a good thing because most guys won't even explain they will tell you that they can't make it and that is it. Please be patient with this cancer male. Cancers like to take things slow, so don't rush. Write back and tell me what you think.
MLOVER,
thank you very much for taking the time to read and give me advice. you are very right, yes, i do have patience, but when i know that he wants to see me too i want him to make an effort, i have been patient for 3 years now and our relationship evolved a lot, i think he wanted to see how badly i wanted to see him or how badly i missed him that is why he made it difficult..............he is so complex, just what a scorpio needs. i know cancers are very smart and strategic too, i didn't realize that they are sneaky...lol
i wonder why cannot not be open about what he feels and he only gives me hints like "my wife will be like you", he is open about the usual stuff, especially when we talk about family and how to raise kids, he always tells me that i will spoil them...
what star sign is your lover, if you don't mind me asking?
thank you very much for taking the time to read and give me advice. you are very right, yes, i do have patience, but when i know that he wants to see me too i want him to make an effort, i have been patient for 3 years now and our relationship evolved a lot, i think he wanted to see how badly i wanted to see him or how badly i missed him that is why he made it difficult..............he is so complex, just what a scorpio needs. i know cancers are very smart and strategic too, i didn't realize that they are sneaky...lol
i wonder why cannot not be open about what he feels and he only gives me hints like "my wife will be like you", he is open about the usual stuff, especially when we talk about family and how to raise kids, he always tells me that i will spoil them...
what star sign is your lover, if you don't mind me asking?
Scorpio,
My lover is also a Cancer so I know what you are going through. He does throw hints just like your cancer, but I would rather for him to be straight forward with me and tell me how he really feels. We have only been together for 8 months, but it feels like I have been knowing him forever.I guess that could come from us being the same sign. Last night he wanted to come over, but it was late and I had to go to work the next morning. The thing is I felt like if he really wanted to see me then he would have came over earlier. He was telling me that I he wants me to do somethings to him that I had never done before and he was also saying that I problably have not done it to him yet because he is not special enough. But, that is not the case. when I first meet him we were both in relationships and I left my boyfriend and he left his girlfriend so that we can be together. Some how I think he is still with her because he has a child by this female. I have talked to her plenty of times, but all he tells me that he is not going to get involved with us fighting. I feel that if I want something I am going to do my best to try and get it or keep it. I just don't know what to do considering since you have been with this guy for 3 years what would you do in this situation. Also he has told me that he loved me before and last night when we were on the phone he said. "I love", but he did not finish the rest of the sentence. I thought that was strange. I am starting to question do he love me and don't want to feel rejected if I don't give the right response. Anyway, please tell me what you think.
My lover is also a Cancer so I know what you are going through. He does throw hints just like your cancer, but I would rather for him to be straight forward with me and tell me how he really feels. We have only been together for 8 months, but it feels like I have been knowing him forever.I guess that could come from us being the same sign. Last night he wanted to come over, but it was late and I had to go to work the next morning. The thing is I felt like if he really wanted to see me then he would have came over earlier. He was telling me that I he wants me to do somethings to him that I had never done before and he was also saying that I problably have not done it to him yet because he is not special enough. But, that is not the case. when I first meet him we were both in relationships and I left my boyfriend and he left his girlfriend so that we can be together. Some how I think he is still with her because he has a child by this female. I have talked to her plenty of times, but all he tells me that he is not going to get involved with us fighting. I feel that if I want something I am going to do my best to try and get it or keep it. I just don't know what to do considering since you have been with this guy for 3 years what would you do in this situation. Also he has told me that he loved me before and last night when we were on the phone he said. "I love", but he did not finish the rest of the sentence. I thought that was strange. I am starting to question do he love me and don't want to feel rejected if I don't give the right response. Anyway, please tell me what you think.
i need to know both of your ages, sorry , but with mature cancers you deal in a different way.....
what i can tell you at this stage is that he is into you but very insecure, you cannot do anything, do not ask him or be pushy, go with the flow.......i disagree, cancers change their moods, and the intesity of their moods increases or decreases....he wanted to see you but i think he was too insecure, you should have reassured him that you wanted him there and then!!!
you have to xplain to him that he is special and unique and also show him, but you shouldn't do whatever you're not comfortable with, if he cares about you he will understand and not insist.
well, he has been hurt before and probably needs more time to heal the deeper wounds....be patient and try and understand him, he can sense you, you do not need to tell him anything....cancers avoid confrontations with the loved ones, at any cost...i think the best thing to do now is reassure him that you're there for him and then give him space(they need a lot of space to deal with their emotions).
my relationship started based on sex only, it was strictly that, he didn't even give me his real name, it progressed slowly and gradually......
what i can tell you at this stage is that he is into you but very insecure, you cannot do anything, do not ask him or be pushy, go with the flow.......i disagree, cancers change their moods, and the intesity of their moods increases or decreases....he wanted to see you but i think he was too insecure, you should have reassured him that you wanted him there and then!!!
you have to xplain to him that he is special and unique and also show him, but you shouldn't do whatever you're not comfortable with, if he cares about you he will understand and not insist.
well, he has been hurt before and probably needs more time to heal the deeper wounds....be patient and try and understand him, he can sense you, you do not need to tell him anything....cancers avoid confrontations with the loved ones, at any cost...i think the best thing to do now is reassure him that you're there for him and then give him space(they need a lot of space to deal with their emotions).
my relationship started based on sex only, it was strictly that, he didn't even give me his real name, it progressed slowly and gradually......
My ex is a cancer and well he is the one who broke up with me ... every saturday we meet by coincidence... he says hello from far , he salutes my friends and has a conversation with them but with me... no. it bothers me a lot.. why is he acting like this?
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