Pornography
This topic was created in the Relationships forum by AnnaPhototaker on Monday, September 23, 2013 and has 21 replies.
Let's say you were dating a man for a while and, let's say for a couple of months now. You know he goes on porn sites once in a while and you're fine with it. Porn like, download a video here and there. Things you watch like a movie.
One night, you go on his laptop to look at your Facebook. Something he agreed with, so nothing like snooping or anything.
Upon loading Chrome, you see a list of websites he visited in the last 24 hours, and they are all porn sites about cam girls. Sites where he actually engage with those girls (i.e. different than just watching something for everyone), see he can talk, and talked to them and pay to look at them and have private chats and sessions just for him, and he did so very recently.
You load twitter to look at your tweets and see that he follows a lot of those girls and talk to them regularly. (And they respond)
What would be your reaction? What would you say to this man? Would it change how you feel about him or your sexuality with him?
One night, you go on his laptop to look at your Facebook. Something he agreed with, so nothing like snooping or anything.
Upon loading Chrome, you see a list of websites he visited in the last 24 hours, and they are all porn sites about cam girls. Sites where he actually engage with those girls (i.e. different than just watching something for everyone), see he can talk, and talked to them and pay to look at them and have private chats and sessions just for him, and he did so very recently.
You load twitter to look at your tweets and see that he follows a lot of those girls and talk to them regularly. (And they respond)
What would be your reaction? What would you say to this man? Would it change how you feel about him or your sexuality with him?
Hmmm, tough one.
Every guy (and woman) has his personal taste in porn. For him it's camgirls.
It's more interactive than just watching photos and none of those girls will ever see him as more than a customer. He probably knows that.
This is just what I think though, I never tried webcamgirls so I don't know what I would feel about all this.
But you actually were snooping if you looked at his history. And he is a dumbass for not using incognito mode.
I'm not sure I would share my tastes in porn that soon, especially after a few months. It is a separate thing for guys, just a quick visual stimulation and not the deep-seated emotional thing that actual sex is.
Would it have been better if you found he was into some more extreme porn?
Bdsm, Hentai or really extreme shit like rape and snuff?
Every guy (and woman) has his personal taste in porn. For him it's camgirls.
It's more interactive than just watching photos and none of those girls will ever see him as more than a customer. He probably knows that.
This is just what I think though, I never tried webcamgirls so I don't know what I would feel about all this.
But you actually were snooping if you looked at his history. And he is a dumbass for not using incognito mode.
I'm not sure I would share my tastes in porn that soon, especially after a few months. It is a separate thing for guys, just a quick visual stimulation and not the deep-seated emotional thing that actual sex is.
Would it have been better if you found he was into some more extreme porn?
Bdsm, Hentai or really extreme shit like rape and snuff?
If he didn't talk with them, I wouldn't care that he watched porn. But this all sounds a little much, a little over the top. It's not like they're likely going to meet up with him or anything, so I'm sure the threat is limited. But, still, it's the idea of it and it's just a little creepy and perverted feeling. Honestly, I'd be disgusted by it and wouldn't like it.
I disagree with it because in my case, I watch it once in a blue moon and only do it because I'm single. However, to me, the only person you should ever want to see naked is the person you're involved in a romantic relationship with,so if and when I am no longer single, I'm getting rid of it.
Hmm I watch porn myself! and My mate and I both enjoy it!
BUTTTTTTT
Interacting with women and telling them what you want done is a bitt extra its almost like hes having unoficial sex with women, its like cheating!!
Hmm Id ask him to interact in front of me, and if i dont like it id ask him to stop.
BUTTTTTTT
Interacting with women and telling them what you want done is a bitt extra its almost like hes having unoficial sex with women, its like cheating!!
Hmm Id ask him to interact in front of me, and if i dont like it id ask him to stop.
As a female I'd be cool with this. He's not meeting them & most guys love their porn. How about you surprise him (check out some of the cam girls & do your own show). He might not look them up anymore. Guys all have different taste in porn, some prefer the more interactive. But growing up with brothers, I've seen this first hand (not my brothers being interactive hahaha) but them using these sites & having very loyal relationships. I have spoken to them about it before too to understand the male perspective... So I guess vamp it up for your man & say something like "how about those cam girls now?" He'll be embarrassed that you knew, but it could open all new exciting adventures for the two of you. If completely comfortable, then join him using them. Could be a way to bond. If it's too out there for you, maybe try a more reserved male 
good luck
good luck
He's addicted to porn
It's 1 thing to download a video, watch it, jack off & then go about your business
But it's another thing for a man to take it to the level of feeling like he has to literally interact with porn-stars in order for him to feel any fulfillment in each sexual masturbation
It's unrealistic to expect a man never to watch porn but a man who feels he needs to pay a porn start to talk to him is no different than your man spending his rent money at the strip club. Too much!
Porn is porn, though. The fact that he chooses to fulfill masturbation through webcam is not a big deal b/c every man has his own "niche" & specific category that he likes when watching porn.
It's the fact that he's very emotionally, financially & sexually invested that scares me & is what I'd consider, worth reconsidering him as a potential partner.
If I were you & decided to continue moving forward with this man, I wouldn't be surprised though if he continued the same thing during the relationship which is just as inappropriate & disrespectful as cheating with the average woman on the street.
Looking is 1 thing but having to literally interact is still the same as cheating. And the definition of "cheating" doesn't change just b/c a woman may be a porn star as opposed to any other average woman
It's 1 thing to download a video, watch it, jack off & then go about your business
But it's another thing for a man to take it to the level of feeling like he has to literally interact with porn-stars in order for him to feel any fulfillment in each sexual masturbation
It's unrealistic to expect a man never to watch porn but a man who feels he needs to pay a porn start to talk to him is no different than your man spending his rent money at the strip club. Too much!
Porn is porn, though. The fact that he chooses to fulfill masturbation through webcam is not a big deal b/c every man has his own "niche" & specific category that he likes when watching porn.
It's the fact that he's very emotionally, financially & sexually invested that scares me & is what I'd consider, worth reconsidering him as a potential partner.
If I were you & decided to continue moving forward with this man, I wouldn't be surprised though if he continued the same thing during the relationship which is just as inappropriate & disrespectful as cheating with the average woman on the street.
Looking is 1 thing but having to literally interact is still the same as cheating. And the definition of "cheating" doesn't change just b/c a woman may be a porn star as opposed to any other average woman
Can I still point out that you were snooping when you went through his history? Then looked up the websites? Went through the trouble of looking at his twitter? And finding out he is actually spending his money on porn? (P.s. Are you sure he is spending money on it? Most porn is free.)
You found something you didn't like. Confront him with it and talk about it.
Before you found out, did you ever feel like he might cheat on you? Would you trust him if you didn't know?
Trying to explain why you like a certain kind of porn is hard enough but it usually leads to some funny stories.
You found something you didn't like. Confront him with it and talk about it.
Before you found out, did you ever feel like he might cheat on you? Would you trust him if you didn't know?
Trying to explain why you like a certain kind of porn is hard enough but it usually leads to some funny stories.
TELL HIM YOU USED TO DO THAT FOR A LIVING .
TELL HIM HE DOESN'T HAVE TO CALL IN AND PAY ANY MORE YOUR RIGHT THERE
SEE THE REACTION
TELL HIM HE DOESN'T HAVE TO CALL IN AND PAY ANY MORE YOUR RIGHT THERE
SEE THE REACTION
SORRY I GOT KNOCKED OFF LINE DON'T GET IT BUT IT HAPPENS A LOT
THEN TELL HIM TO SET ON HIS FACE WHILE YOU BLOW HIM
THEN TELL HIM TO SET ON HIS FACE WHILE YOU BLOW HIM
I guess I'm going to be the odd one and say that I would be rather indifferent to the situation. Twitter isn't exactly meeting a person face to face. I can see it as being a part of the immersion, the fantasy.
Now if the SO were physically going out into the world with the specific intent to meet someone for a hookup, that would be an entirely different conversation ending with them getting the boot. But a chat box is... really just a chat box.
Now if the SO were physically going out into the world with the specific intent to meet someone for a hookup, that would be an entirely different conversation ending with them getting the boot. But a chat box is... really just a chat box.
No one ever thinks of this angle...what if it was her doing the same thing with cam-guys??
And he found it on her accounts??
Give me a break..the guy would be just as repulsed as she is.
Do you really think he would say, "Oh that's okay sweet cheeks, chat & imaginary cheat with males
whores all you want!"
No double standards please, and to the men, sorry this is just not sexy, attractive behavior. Its
skanky, cheesy and creepy. Like some dirty old pervert. Gross...
And he found it on her accounts??
Give me a break..the guy would be just as repulsed as she is.
Do you really think he would say, "Oh that's okay sweet cheeks, chat & imaginary cheat with males
whores all you want!"
No double standards please, and to the men, sorry this is just not sexy, attractive behavior. Its
skanky, cheesy and creepy. Like some dirty old pervert. Gross...
Whoops sorry...should be "chat & imaginary cheat with all the male wh*res you want" Not sure how the "just like" got in there. (For those don't know about the DXP filter.)
Posted by sunshine222
No one ever thinks of this angle...what if it was her doing the same thing with cam-guys??
And he found it on her accounts??
Give me a break..the guy would be just as repulsed as she is.
Do you really think he would say, "Oh that's okay sweet cheeks, chat & imaginary cheat with males
whores all you want!"
No double standards please, and to the men, sorry this is just not sexy, attractive behavior. Its
skanky, cheesy and creepy. Like some dirty old pervert. Gross...
Agreed! It's not that the porn itself is wrong or repulsive but the fact that it's not done in moderation that is a problem!
There's a difference b/w "I look at it for 5 minutes or long enough to get my erection, then I'm done" & "The fantasy world means so much to me that I'll sit on my computer all day & won't fill fulfilled unless I personally talk to the woman behind the screen!"
HUGE DIFFERENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Doing things in moderation is fine, even though some would even argue that watching porn at all while in a relationship is wrong.
I disagree that it's wrong overall, but I do however think it's fair to be concerned about ANYTHING your partner is doing that isn't in moderation.
Bleh. He can have his goddamn porn. If I'm not enough for him, fuck him.
Posted by AnnaPhototaker
One night, you go on his laptop to look at your Facebook.
Something he agreed with, so nothing like snooping or anything.
Upon loading Chrome, you see a list of websites he visited in the last 24 hours, and they are all porn sites about cam girls. Sites where he actually engage with those girls (i.e. different than just watching something for everyone), see he can talk, and talked to them and pay to look at them and have private chats and sessions just for him, and he did so very recently.
You load twitter to look at your tweets and see that he follows a lot of those girls and talk to them regularly. (And they respond)
What would be your reaction? What would you say to this man? Would it change how you feel about him or your sexuality with him?
If opening a new tab on Chrome is anything like the program I use, seeing a list of sites visited is unavoidable; and if you had permission to use the laptop, then I don't see a violation of privacy.
If there *were* a violation of privacy at hand, then I may answer differently.
Having said that, my reaction would be "there's a problem"-- and I would approach him directly.
Not accuse-- because he's grown, he doesn't appear to be hiding it, and I assume you aren't married-- but I would bring it up.
Because there is a world of difference (IMO) between looking and paying for services rendered .
And I don't want to be associated with the latter.
Posted by TigerCapPosted by sunshine222
No one ever thinks of this angle...what if it was her doing the same thing with cam-guys??
And he found it on her accounts??
Give me a break..the guy would be just as repulsed as she is.
Do you really think he would say, "Oh that's okay sweet cheeks, chat & imaginary cheat with males
whores all you want!"
No double standards please, and to the men, sorry this is just not sexy, attractive behavior. Its
skanky, cheesy and creepy. Like some dirty old pervert. Gross...
But there are double standards for men and women.
Any woman in a relationship that thinks her guy doesn't watch porn is deluding herself or is having lots and lots of sex. There is simply a difference in how guys handle a lack of sex opposed to women.
It takes a while for the production of sperm to slow down. The first 3 days or week can be 'hard'.
Women are more likely to read porn as opposed to watch it. Most guys won't bat an eyelid if they find your stash of erotic literature or maybe they will simply laugh at it.
Finding a huge collection of porn or website is different though.
It's similar to why Men are more likely to forgive cheating, unless sex was involved. Women are more jealous of emotional attachment and men about sexual attachment.
What the OP is afraid of is that he is getting emotionally involved. Not a weird thing to think if he is talking to real life women. Just using porn as a sexual stimulant is okay, getting involved with it and staying in touch outside of it is a big No No.
As I and others have said before; confront the guy and talk about it. Don't be a little bitch and just dump his ass without letting him know what he did to deserve it.click to expand
WHEN YOU HAVE SPENT YEARS MAKING THOSE MOVIES ITS ON MATTER LATER ON.
++++1111 for Wynter's comment:
"Bleh. He can have his goddamn porn. If I'm not enough for him, treetrunk him."
"Bleh. He can have his goddamn porn. If I'm not enough for him, treetrunk him."
It's not what he's doing that would offend me as much as the quantity of times it's occurring during a 24 hour period.
If I understood correctly, this is happening frequently and several times a day. This would spell some kind of sex addiction IMO. You might want to look up what the signs of sex addiction are and see if he fits the bill.
If I understood correctly, this is happening frequently and several times a day. This would spell some kind of sex addiction IMO. You might want to look up what the signs of sex addiction are and see if he fits the bill.
i'd ditch the guy. been there. done that. not effin around with it again. next.
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