Possibly getting back together?

This topic was created in the Relationships forum by Shey8888 on Thursday, November 15, 2018 and has 17 replies.
So I met this guy 4 months ago one night when I was out with the girls. The minute we met we were attached at the hips and teasing eachother with our crazy sarcasm and jokes all night and ended the night with a kiss. Almost every night for two weeks we were still attached at the hip and having so much fun. I’m telling you I’ve never felt like this with anyone else I don’t know how to explain it he brings out the best in me and I can be my total self around him. Anyways Unfortunatley after the two weeks he did something a little shady and went back with an ex( long story) I thought he was an ass and didn’t speak to him for 4 months.


So then came a couple weeks ago. I felt like I needed closure with him. they ended up breaking up not long after getting together. So anyways I finally got my stubborn butt to text him and just tell him hi and that I forgave him. We had a great conversation that ended that night totally innocent.

Things still didn’t feel like closure I can’t get the man out of my head and I knew he missed me I swear I could feel him think about me. So a couple days ago. We were texting and he finally came out and said “I would really love to explain things in person what I did was wrong but I still think you deserve an explanation. I’ve missed you and I think about you a lot but I figured I totally blew it”

So I invited him over the next night and we talked and talked and talked like we never spent time apart. We finally talked about what had happened and I did realize I did misunderstood some of it and yes he was wrong too. But it made more sense. And then I explained how painful it was that he did that and he said I’m so sorry I’m so glad your telling me this in person bc I can really see it and how badly it hurt you. So we ended the night on a good note. No touching kissing nothing!

After he left I felt horrible not knowing if we were going to start talking again or not was that the last time I see him? So the next day I was actually feeling sad not knowing if I should text him or not and I almost felt he felt the same wayso I didn’t I woke up the next morning with a text from him from the night before “did you have a good day?” Him and I are always kind of both afraid if eachother is interested or not and both don’t want to be too pushy that’s just who we are. So after that text I got that morning I sent him one back and e texted through out the day and night and he texted me good night that night.

So then the next day came around I didn’t hear anything from him and I have no idea if he’s trying to be nice or if he’s feeling the same way I am and just compleltey not sure where eachother are and what we want to do. I didn’t hear from him at all that day and still haven’t today....


What do you guys think? Do you think he’s just not interested? Feels unsure like me? Not worth it?


I tell ya this guy would not be my first pick for looks but Deffinatley not my last but our chemistry and connection is unreal. I’ve never felt a bond or connection like I do with him and I thought that the very same day. I know he’s supposed to be in my life one way or another. He makes me feel like I want to be my best self without feeling weird and the kisses..... woah 😍 it’s like nothing ever before.

Ewwww no.

Your second choice. He circled back around cause it didn’t work out with the chick he really wanted. Don’t let yourself forget that.

Never take a dude back who makes you anything but first choice.
Posted by LadyNeptune

Ewwww no.

Your second choice. He circled back around cause it didn’t work out with the chick he really wanted. Don’t let yourself forget that.

Never take a dude back who makes you anything but first choice.


I know your right. But he didn’t initiate it I did. Maybe I’m blind and everyone makes mistakes I just hate not knowing.
Posted by BuffaloBills28

You could always just ask him


Ahhh!!! The most obvious answer!!!!! 😂😂 and that’s the right answer too I’m just terrified of rejection and I like to stay in control 🤦🏼‍♀️
Posted by ACsquarepluto

Sounds sweet, and I'm betting you'll hear from him again. No harm in messaging him first.


I hope so. I’m way too stubborn to do so. I feel like it’s a nag if he’s really not interested and I’m terrified of rejection (aren’t we all) but then I think maybe he’s thinking the same thing I am and waiting on me to text him or maybe he’s thinking I don’t want anything I just wanted to talk for closure... I have no clue 🤦🏼‍♀️
Posted by Arielle83

He’s in control.

He’s got you pining


Well I haven’t even texted him lol
Posted by Shey8888

Posted by LadyNeptune

Ewwww no.

Your second choice. He circled back around cause it didn’t work out with the chick he really wanted. Don’t let yourself forget that.

Never take a dude back who makes you anything but first choice.


I know your right. But he didn’t initiate it I did. Maybe I’m blind and everyone makes mistakes I just hate not knowing.
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Posted by -MadHatter-

Everyone is someone's ex, I wouldn't worry too much about that part. You really just have to ask him. I see it differently, he seems to want to at least try to set things right - you have the power, he screwed up with you, you have the high ground in the situation.


Thank you!!! I know my answer is that I just have to ask him but I’m terrified. Apart of me is like does he still have interest did he lose interest is that why he’s not texting me or is he feeling the same way I am? Unsure of my feelings. I just don’t know. Sometimes in text messages we send eachother memes to be funny and the last night we talked I sent him a friends meme (the show) and he sent a text back saying something and at the end he said “love the friends reference by the way” I’m not really sure what that means and how to take that lol
Posted by Arielle83

Posted by Shey8888

Posted by Arielle83

He’s in control.



He’s got you pining


Well I haven’t even texted him lol
Doesn’t matter.

You think he telepathically thinks about you.

You’re obsessing and most likely think there’s a



Well I don’t think he telepathically thinks about me. I wouldn’t say that.
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He’s not that interested. Why did you forgive him for something he didn’t ask to be forgiven for?
The title is misleading since you were never together and if the connection is so strong and mutual why did he disappear to get back with his ex? You must ask yourself these questions.
You may have an Eros/Psyche connection that is strong.

Be aware that just because you feel a connection it does not mean he feels the same. Careful of wearing rose tinted glasses.

I think he feels something for you. He made the effort to explain how things were a few months ago. That may have been some kind of guilt or just his way of dealing with things.

Unresolved issues with ex partners who are still in the picture is a problem. Is she still around? What happened here? That's what I'd focus on. Plus, I'd think about what you want, what you're ready for, what you can or cannot offer right now. Is he looking for the same as you? If he's come out of a relationship then he may not be in a position to begin another one even if he thinks he is. People tend to jump from one to another. You might want to spend time just being friends and getting to know each other. Proceed with caution.

What's your sign and his sign?
Posted by AgentP911

You may have an Eros/Psyche connection that is strong.

Be aware that just because you feel a connection it does not mean he feels the same. Careful of wearing rose tinted glasses.

I think he feels something for you. He made the effort to explain how things were a few months ago. That may have been some kind of guilt or just his way of dealing with things.

Unresolved issues with ex partners who are still in the picture is a problem. Is she still around? What happened here? That's what I'd focus on. Plus, I'd think about what you want, what you're ready for, what you can or cannot offer right now. Is he looking for the same as you? If he's come out of a relationship then he may not be in a position to begin another one even if he thinks he is. People tend to jump from one to another. You might want to spend time just being friends and getting to know each other. Proceed with caution.

What's your sign and his sign?


I am an Aries and he’s a Taurus.

I did however text him and ask him bc I was getting mixed signals. He did end up saying “I’m being very cautious talking to u because I don’t want to hurt you again and I’m not a very good companion right now. I obviously like you and like hanging out with you but I have shit to work through and I don’t want you to have to go through it with me and hurt you again”


I obviously wasn’t thrilled with this response because it was almost like he is keeping my hopes up still and I just like straight forward answers. I still don’t know how to read this response really. But I said something back and I haven’t heard from him since. So clearly he doesn’t care and never did. Which I find so confusing bc it confused me how u can have a connection with someone and they don’t have it back.
My opinion on this, and I also read this out and asked my Taurus fella for his view, is that he's keeping you on the back burner.

If he liked you enough and if he was in a position to be with you then he would just say that for sure.

But he hasn't. Instead, he's come out with some waffle about not hurting you again etc.

It doesn't mean he doesn't like you or never did but that he's got some issues going on right now, which is pretty much what he said right there.

I'm not denying your connection to him. Sometimes you meet people who may not be to your usual taste but there's intensity there which is hard to explain. However, it is still subjective. It could still be your Eros/Psyche connecting with his Eros/Psyche. That can be powerful stuff!

It is no different to me and you sitting and eating dinner. I say I absolutely love cauliflower, it's the best yet you cannot stand the stuff. I cannot believe you don't like cauliflower! Perhaps it's not the best example but from a practical and logical point of view I don't see this going anywhere with this guy. You're welcome to hang around and wait for him but while you're waiting for this guy who isn't available, you're missing all the other great guys who ARE available and who may also offer you a great connection, and quite possibly, a great relationship.
Posted by AgentP911

My opinion on this, and I also read this out and asked my Taurus fella for his view, is that he's keeping you on the back burner.

If he liked you enough and if he was in a position to be with you then he would just say that for sure.

But he hasn't. Instead, he's come out with some waffle about not hurting you again etc.

It doesn't mean he doesn't like you or never did but that he's got some issues going on right now, which is pretty much what he said right there.

I'm not denying your connection to him. Sometimes you meet people who may not be to your usual taste but there's intensity there which is hard to explain. However, it is still subjective. It could still be your Eros/Psyche connecting with his Eros/Psyche. That can be powerful stuff!

It is no different to me and you sitting and eating dinner. I say I absolutely love cauliflower, it's the best yet you cannot stand the stuff. I cannot believe you don't like cauliflower! Perhaps it's not the best example but from a practical and logical point of view I don't see this going anywhere with this guy. You're welcome to hang around and wait for him but while you're waiting for this guy who isn't available, you're missing all the other great guys who ARE available and who may also offer you a great connection, and quite possibly, a great relationship.
Agree on the Taurus part. If he really wants it he would go for it instead pending and excuses.

Don't get your hopes set too high or you could hurt yourself, just saying.
Posted by dilettante

Posted by Shey8888

He did end up saying “I’m being very cautious talking to u because I don’t want to hurt you again and I’m not a very good companion right now. I obviously like you and like hanging out with you but I have shit to work through and I don’t want you to have to go through it with me and hurt you again”
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

this, right here, is a BIG red flag. he is telling u that he is unavailable but wants his cake. he is putting all the responsibility on YOU. if you decide to take him back & he does something stupid again, he is going to say “but i told you i wasnt ready”. this sounds like a recipe for a toxic back & forth. UNLESS you can remain utterly emotionally unavailable. if not, do not go forward.

“i am not a very good companion right now” = i have no clue what i want but im down to string you along, in the meantime.

seriously, this is not worth it.

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Guy will be straight up with you and tell you everything you need to know. It's up to you though to believe them and the follow-through. You can't change a person just by being nice to them or being there for them
carry on with your life and date others