question for the boys

This topic was created in the Relationships forum by ReallyNiceAriesPerson on Friday, December 9, 2011 and has 26 replies.
I had a deep and meaningful conversation with a friend of mine a while ago and he said something that has been echoing about in my head ever since and driving me nuts so can someone please explain this for me:
"You come off as unavailable"
(in the context of meeting the right type of guy for me.)
I can't figger out what I am doing and I can't go back and ask him as the moment has passed.
FACTS:
I don't wear a wedding band (obviously)(or not obviously.)
I am not horrible to people who talk to me (obviously I am horrible on DXP, but not IRL)
I don't wear skanky clothes.
Lots of times I go out by myself because I work bizzarro hours and besides, I don't need a gaggle of giggling girls around me to have fun - I am plenty of fun just by myselfsmile
I don't have one eye and a wart on my nose and uglier/fatter/nastier/less loyal people than me are married.

so.....
Should I have a posse of heavily made up chicks in short skirts with me?
Are guys uncomfortable talking to a girl who is by herself (maybe she is a stalker??)
Just wondering if I am giving off some vibe I don't know about?
I am missing something here - can you break it down for me please?
Thanks!
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Posted by TastesOfChaos
Sorry for not having a penis to answer this thread....
Sad


is that a budgie in your undies or are you just happy to see me?

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Posted by TastesOfChaos
Na, its a huge cock...
You interested?



tempting......maybe I could sit on your knee for a bit? See what's in your sacksmile
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Cancer rising.
I am always joking about it plotting my demise but my Aries sun keeps forgetting to buy razors, bullets, rope for it!! They make a great teamsmile
Pair of bloody idiots they are.

Lucky I found out about it - I used to worry that I was bi-polar. It explains a lot of stuff.
No, I don't go into a bubble (or drink too many bubbles)
I do pay attention, I think I would be aware if some dude started chatting me up.
But on the other hand, I don't wander into a bar and start ogling everyone in there.
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that's inspiringsmile thanks mate

Exactly how many drinks have you had, or approximately - whatever you can manage.
Not exactly sure what a minga is but it sounds like a problem for someone else. I have only recently figgered out that a ranga is a red head (I think)
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what colour is a minga? Maroon, mauve, magnolia, magenta?
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Fanta pantssmile

that's awful
PMSL
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Posted by TastesOfChaos
You never heard of that one?



not til now. you're a mine of information.
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Posted by TastesOfChaos
Haha, no drinks tonite. I've had a good week.
I only said ONE dumb thing this week, at 4:52pm Friday... ALMOST had a clean week. It was epic.
A minga is an uggo... fugly person, feral fucker... etc
WTF? You didnt know what a ranga was?? Yes, a red banger, fanta pants, ginger ninja... etc
smile


QFP
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Posted by TastesOfChaos
Hello!
I got told this once too, I think its my Aries rising.
My friend said when I go out I am in my own lil bubble and I only focus on what and who is in my bubble... whoever is outside this bubble, I behave as though they don't exist...
What is your rising? Do you even know? Tongue


QFP
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Posted by TastesOfChaos
I was talking about a rooster?
WTF were you talking about?
Seriously though, maybe you give off an aloof vibe?
Which is actually attractive to most men, but maybe you arent PAYING ATTENTION?
You could have men googling you, but you're too much in your own world?
What is your rising, asshole....


QFP
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I guess he might have meant, unapproachable?
Perhaps intimidating?
Unavailable to me means that you dont seem interested in anything but what you may be doing at the moment.
Take this example...
the other day im at cablevision and there is this really great smelling gal, i didnt want her number or to talk to her for hours, just wanted to say hi and maybe even ask her about her fragrance, that was turning me on (wasnt going to tell her that of course), but she came off as someone who didnt want to be bothered.
So i turned my face and ignored her, like she wasnt even there, her or her fragrance.
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Perhaps it is a combination of "I am busy, what do you want?!?!? and "I know what I want!!! attitude. Maybe a bit of "I been down that hurt road before, I don't want to go back again" added in.
I can't really say for sure, cause I don't see anyone breaking through to the real you here on DXP.
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^^
having trouble breaking through....
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Do you unknowingly give off the "I don't give a F" attitude by keeping your nose in your book? Look disinterested in what is going on around you? Avoid eye contact with everyone? If so, then a man may be hesistant to approach you since you're not really giving off any signals of interest or availability.
Hell, being by yourself makes it easier for men to approach you. No cockblocking!
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And have you tried that hard Aries stare on someone you fancy for a moment? Hey, if they can't handle the stare, they can't handle the rest of you......
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This may be an Aries woman thing. My brother who is also an Aries said guys are probably afraid to talk to you because I have this don't F wit me look on my face all the time. People often think something is wrong with me or I'm always mad. I don't smile for no reason, how Manu people walk down the street smiling? Not many, so I don't understand y on a weekly basis at least one person thinks I'm upset. Mayb it's subconscious. I do know what men want And I'm not giving it. I get approached often But I know it has to do with my looks which kinda annoys me. But I'm going to keep being me, I need a strong man who isn't threatened by my Aries nature. I will not turn into a sheep for anyone
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Posted by dofacc
Perhaps it is a combination of "I am busy, what do you want?!?!? and "I know what I want!!! attitude. Maybe a bit of "I been down that hurt road before, I don't want to go back again" added in.
I can't really say for sure, cause I don't see anyone breaking through to the real you here on DXP.



serious dofacc? I am the real me. here, there, dxp, everywhere!
I shouldn't look like "I am busy, what do you want" when I go into a bar .... to check for hot single guys - a cross between Wgamador and TaurGuy would be nicesmile
I want to look like "hi I am single, awfully good fun, but I am not looking for a one night stand?"
What does that 'look' look like? What makes a girl look approachable without being tarty?

**@wgamamdor - I was on the bus the other day and a chick sat next to me and smelt AWESOME. I stayed on an extra 2 stops just to take it all in!!! Didn't chat her up though.
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I meant to say that I don't see anyone having trouble breaking through to you here on DXP. Opps, sorry. You really do come across as sincere and warm.

Just a cool, direct look into the eyes. That is what I am talking about.
And no, I don't suppose you come across as to busy in the social setting you describe. I truly have no idea why guys would be having a problem approaching you and talking to you.
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Oddly enough, I picked up similar vibes from you. Sif you were engaged or had a boyfriend.
I think it could be an Aries thing?
If communication is key, then focus on what you are putting out? Be a bit friendlier to your prospective male. Use that natural bubbly charm that aries has and run with it. Dress a little more...."I'm avaiable?" Tongue
Smile lots too!
Big Grin


Flirt too...
Ok, done...
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You would come off as unavailable to anyone that you are unavailable to, this was a friend wasn't it?
So why would you give off an available vibe to him or anyone else that you aren't remotely interested in? When someone comes along that you find intriguing trust me that vibe will change for that person!
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Posted by sweethearts
You would come off as unavailable to anyone that you are unavailable to, this was a friend wasn't it?
So why would you give off an available vibe to him or anyone else that you aren't remotely interested in? When someone comes along that you find intriguing trust me that vibe will change for that person!


Yeah, friend/Aries/been friends for 100 years. the no B/S type who tells it like it is.
I am not aware of giving off a vibe of any kind. I just "am".
I am me - always the same...day/night/drunk/sober/working/dxping
When I go out I don't dress like a dirty hooker, or flick my hair coquettishly, talk in a silly cutesy little girl voice etc.
Once I met an awesome chap and we just got on famously with no drama, stupid pick up lines etc and I guess I am just frustrated at not connecting with the RIGHT PERSON. There IS more than one great guy out there, isnt' there?
I have been pondering for a while now and wonder if I have just lost my nerve after an occasion in my fave pub when I had 2 Poms (sorry Bling) trying to chat me up - one either side of me at the same time. I wanted them to piss off so I could be available to possibly chat up someone I liked the look of.
I tried introducing them to each other but they weren't impressedSad
I don't approach meeting the right person as a numbers game.... I just want to find the guy and get onto the good stuff.
Need to rewire the thinking and just relax a bit. Thanks everyone for the gentle kicks up the bum.
You know I appreciate itsmile
I love you guys (and girls)
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I believe the "vibe" someone would get is only for those that you aren't interested in. You would throw off that vibe sub-consciencely not intentionally..
How many guys do you really find attractive or someone you would consider dating 1 in 100?? If that?
Don't be so worried about what someone else percieves from you, the right one will get you Winking
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not 1 in 100 of randoms - probably not 1 in 1000.

The chances of randomly bumping into someone dateable are pretty slim.
I am just in a weird age group where everyone is already married - perhaps I need to read the Obituaries and Divorce sections of the paper rather than Personals?
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(YAWN)------ My Cancer Rising is telling me to ignore this,
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Posted by AybLynk
(YAWN)------ My Cancer Rising is telling me to ignore this,




And my Aries sun wonders "well why didn't you?"
I usually ignore your ignorant comments.
Everyone else has come in with either some humour or a suggestion of a different way to look at the situation which was what was necessary.
If that isn't bleedingly bloody obvious to you then I can't help you.
Piss off and wank elsewhere. Thanks.
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