Relationships
This topic was created in the Relationships forum by krysrenee7 on Thursday, September 15, 2011 and has 8 replies.
1. Ask yourself: Are you more in love with the concept of love or the actual person?
2. If he/she lied to you in the beginning & got away with it, why would they have any reason to believe that they wouldn't get away with it in the future?
3. If you don't love yourself, how can you expect for anyone else to?
4. If he/she will cheat WITH you, they'll def. cheat ON you when it's finally your turn to have the title. Why keep tricking yourself into believing that people change over night?
5. Those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing. So if she/he has nothing to hide, there's no justifiable reason for them to be hiding something, remember?
6. Isn't it ironic how you're alwayd debating the "Once a cheater, always a cheater" theory about someone who keeps cheating or has repeatedly cheated in the past? Make sure the person claiming that theory is untrue has actually proven themselves not to be a 2nd time offender.
7. What can another person do for you that you can honestly say you can't do for yourself?
8. If a person has said sorry for the SAME thing more than once, isn't that an indication that they in fact are not sorry? It's moreso that they're sorry they got caught & not that they did it.
9. Doesn't it speak volumes & tell you something when someone hurts you in the exact same way/fashion you've begged them not to? If you're partner betrays you yet after you've spent 3 years venting to them about how devastated you were when someone from the past did that exact same thing, wouldn't it make sense to assume that that person intentionally hurt you?
10. What do you mean, "It just happened?" How can you consider yourself intelligent & yet believe that 2 adults just magically fell onto eachother's laps?
11. If you've got to suffer in silence or put your blinders on just to keep the peace in a relationship, what does that tell you? If they truly love you, they will NOT be ok with you suffering; no, they'd want to know b/c they'd be running towards the 1st opportunity to correct the problem.
12. If he/she was an Ahole or "such & such" when you met them, why would they suddenly have an incentive to change later on? You give someone the impression that you "accept" certain flaws if you stick around. So why be surprised when they look surprised when you ask them to change those things?
2. If he/she lied to you in the beginning & got away with it, why would they have any reason to believe that they wouldn't get away with it in the future?
3. If you don't love yourself, how can you expect for anyone else to?
4. If he/she will cheat WITH you, they'll def. cheat ON you when it's finally your turn to have the title. Why keep tricking yourself into believing that people change over night?
5. Those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing. So if she/he has nothing to hide, there's no justifiable reason for them to be hiding something, remember?
6. Isn't it ironic how you're alwayd debating the "Once a cheater, always a cheater" theory about someone who keeps cheating or has repeatedly cheated in the past? Make sure the person claiming that theory is untrue has actually proven themselves not to be a 2nd time offender.
7. What can another person do for you that you can honestly say you can't do for yourself?
8. If a person has said sorry for the SAME thing more than once, isn't that an indication that they in fact are not sorry? It's moreso that they're sorry they got caught & not that they did it.
9. Doesn't it speak volumes & tell you something when someone hurts you in the exact same way/fashion you've begged them not to? If you're partner betrays you yet after you've spent 3 years venting to them about how devastated you were when someone from the past did that exact same thing, wouldn't it make sense to assume that that person intentionally hurt you?
10. What do you mean, "It just happened?" How can you consider yourself intelligent & yet believe that 2 adults just magically fell onto eachother's laps?
11. If you've got to suffer in silence or put your blinders on just to keep the peace in a relationship, what does that tell you? If they truly love you, they will NOT be ok with you suffering; no, they'd want to know b/c they'd be running towards the 1st opportunity to correct the problem.
12. If he/she was an Ahole or "such & such" when you met them, why would they suddenly have an incentive to change later on? You give someone the impression that you "accept" certain flaws if you stick around. So why be surprised when they look surprised when you ask them to change those things?
13. What is the victory in getting someone to change b/c you asked them to vs. them doing so b/c they truly wanted to regardless? There is NO victory in knowing that someone is only being a good partner/person for you vs. just naturally being a good person/partner b/c being so is apart of their character
14. Why keep signing up for love, something that requires complete vulnerability & honesty if those are the 2 very things you're afraid of or not willing to do, the most?
15. Why ask for all the details when you know that knowing those details won't make you feel better or change anything? Knowing the who's, what's, where's, how's & why's are irrelevant most of the time, especially if you've already made up your mind to be done if someone else were to commit certain deal breakers. Knowing the details is torture & is an ego thing, not a solution to a problem
16. If the world wasn't over after all after all the other trials & setbacks you went through in the past, what makes you think this situation will be any different? You'll be looking back this time next year thinking, wow, the world really wasn't over & I absolutely DID overcome it!
17. How come you excersize your ability to emotionally attach to & give energy to someone else but yet when it's time to detach & move on, you act as if it's impossible or that you're emotionally retarded? If you can make the choice to attach & give it your all, you can also make the choice to detach & take your services elsewhere
18. If you're in the right relationship, why feel the need to convince yourself of that over & over again? Shouldn't the fact that it's a good relationship speak for itself? The more you have to explain or convince yourself of others the more you're indirectly acknowledging that things aren't as peachy as you claim/wish them to be
19. Are you currently in love with the person they USED to be, the person you WISH they were OR the person they currently are? Date who they are NOW, not who they want to be or who they could have the potential to be. Don't date someone that doesn't (or no longer) exist
14. Why keep signing up for love, something that requires complete vulnerability & honesty if those are the 2 very things you're afraid of or not willing to do, the most?
15. Why ask for all the details when you know that knowing those details won't make you feel better or change anything? Knowing the who's, what's, where's, how's & why's are irrelevant most of the time, especially if you've already made up your mind to be done if someone else were to commit certain deal breakers. Knowing the details is torture & is an ego thing, not a solution to a problem
16. If the world wasn't over after all after all the other trials & setbacks you went through in the past, what makes you think this situation will be any different? You'll be looking back this time next year thinking, wow, the world really wasn't over & I absolutely DID overcome it!
17. How come you excersize your ability to emotionally attach to & give energy to someone else but yet when it's time to detach & move on, you act as if it's impossible or that you're emotionally retarded? If you can make the choice to attach & give it your all, you can also make the choice to detach & take your services elsewhere
18. If you're in the right relationship, why feel the need to convince yourself of that over & over again? Shouldn't the fact that it's a good relationship speak for itself? The more you have to explain or convince yourself of others the more you're indirectly acknowledging that things aren't as peachy as you claim/wish them to be
19. Are you currently in love with the person they USED to be, the person you WISH they were OR the person they currently are? Date who they are NOW, not who they want to be or who they could have the potential to be. Don't date someone that doesn't (or no longer) exist
Oooo oooo...can I add one?
20. If you could spend the rest of your entire life with your current partner or someone you're interested in....would you?
20. If you could spend the rest of your entire life with your current partner or someone you're interested in....would you?
1. Ask yourself: Are you more in love with the concept of love or the actual person?
I like the concept of love
For me, I am in love with those who represent and ACT how/what love is.
2. If he/she lied to you in the beginning & got away with it, why would they have any reason to believe that they wouldn't get away with it in the future?
Interesting. Lying to yourself or others? Do they ever REALLY get away with it. People have a way of exposing their guilty conscious and give themselves away eventually. And, they have all the reason to believe they could get away with it again because they've already convinced themselves they would.
3. If you don't love yourself, how can you expect for anyone else to?
True. I love all regardless. Sometimes all it takes is that ONE person to "love" you as is, even if you don't love yourself.
4. If he/she will cheat WITH you, they'll def. cheat ON you when it's finally your turn to have the title. Why keep tricking yourself into believing that people change over night?
Not necessarily, not every couple has a "hand in glove" relationship. I'm not condoning cheating, I just think that before one decides on marriage, have a solid foundation in place and go through the seasons.
5. Those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing. So if she/he has nothing to hide, there's no justifiable reason for them to be hiding something, remember?
This is a myth based on false assumptions from those who are unable to justify or have NO logical, valid reason for their OWN actions and we sell ourselves short with this mentality. On the surface level, it is a logical premise however, the truth is we ALL have things hide and it's unrealistic to think/believe otherwise. Besides, imagine how dull you would be if you had NOTHING to hide
8. If a person has said sorry for the SAME thing more than once, isn't that an indication that they in fact are not sorry? It's moreso that they're sorry they got caught & not that they did it.
I suppose it depends on the situation/person. For me, apologies carry little value/weight. People do things for a reason. It's our perogative to decide whether or not we accept the apology. If I do accept, and you continue to have repeat offenses, then yes, you've shown me that you will take advantage of my forgiving nature and that you are NOT sorry for your actions.
I like the concept of love
For me, I am in love with those who represent and ACT how/what love is.2. If he/she lied to you in the beginning & got away with it, why would they have any reason to believe that they wouldn't get away with it in the future?
Interesting. Lying to yourself or others? Do they ever REALLY get away with it. People have a way of exposing their guilty conscious and give themselves away eventually. And, they have all the reason to believe they could get away with it again because they've already convinced themselves they would.
3. If you don't love yourself, how can you expect for anyone else to?
True. I love all regardless. Sometimes all it takes is that ONE person to "love" you as is, even if you don't love yourself.
4. If he/she will cheat WITH you, they'll def. cheat ON you when it's finally your turn to have the title. Why keep tricking yourself into believing that people change over night?
Not necessarily, not every couple has a "hand in glove" relationship. I'm not condoning cheating, I just think that before one decides on marriage, have a solid foundation in place and go through the seasons.
5. Those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing. So if she/he has nothing to hide, there's no justifiable reason for them to be hiding something, remember?
This is a myth based on false assumptions from those who are unable to justify or have NO logical, valid reason for their OWN actions and we sell ourselves short with this mentality. On the surface level, it is a logical premise however, the truth is we ALL have things hide and it's unrealistic to think/believe otherwise. Besides, imagine how dull you would be if you had NOTHING to hide
8. If a person has said sorry for the SAME thing more than once, isn't that an indication that they in fact are not sorry? It's moreso that they're sorry they got caught & not that they did it.
I suppose it depends on the situation/person. For me, apologies carry little value/weight. People do things for a reason. It's our perogative to decide whether or not we accept the apology. If I do accept, and you continue to have repeat offenses, then yes, you've shown me that you will take advantage of my forgiving nature and that you are NOT sorry for your actions.
11. If you've got to suffer in silence or put your blinders on just to keep the peace in a relationship, what does that tell you? If they truly love you, they will NOT be ok with you suffering; no, they'd want to know b/c they'd be running towards the 1st opportunity to correct the problem.
I hear what you mean....the ol "ostrich syndrome" Self explanatory.
12. & 13. Not sure what to say on these.....I've always wondered if people truly change or do they just adapt? The real sadness in this is the fact that some need an incentive to change. You should WANT to change for YOURSELF not for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
One of my personal philosophies is "if you are going to flow down a path [of change] be sure it's because it's what YOU want and not others. Sure, others may want us to have the rewards of change, but if the incentive lacks meaning to us, the incentive becomes less satisfying" (there has GOT to be a way to condense that....lol)
14. Why keep signing up for love, something that requires complete vulnerability & honesty if those are the 2 very things you're afraid of or not willing to do, the most?
Maybe they're reading the wrong list?
I hear what you mean....the ol "ostrich syndrome" Self explanatory.
12. & 13. Not sure what to say on these.....I've always wondered if people truly change or do they just adapt? The real sadness in this is the fact that some need an incentive to change. You should WANT to change for YOURSELF not for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
One of my personal philosophies is "if you are going to flow down a path [of change] be sure it's because it's what YOU want and not others. Sure, others may want us to have the rewards of change, but if the incentive lacks meaning to us, the incentive becomes less satisfying" (there has GOT to be a way to condense that....lol)
14. Why keep signing up for love, something that requires complete vulnerability & honesty if those are the 2 very things you're afraid of or not willing to do, the most?
Maybe they're reading the wrong list?
17. How come you excersize your ability to emotionally attach to & give energy to someone else but yet when it's time to detach & move on, you act as if it's impossible or that you're emotionally retarded? If you can make the choice to attach & give it your all, you can also make the choice to detach & take your services elsewhere
If more people got, understood, and applied (bump, set, hit) the world would be a more peaceful place.
18. If you're in the right relationship, why feel the need to convince yourself of that over & over again? Shouldn't the fact that it's a good relationship speak for itself? The more you have to explain or convince yourself of others the more you're indirectly acknowledging that things aren't as peachy as you claim/wish them to be.
Agreed.
If more people got, understood, and applied (bump, set, hit) the world would be a more peaceful place.
18. If you're in the right relationship, why feel the need to convince yourself of that over & over again? Shouldn't the fact that it's a good relationship speak for itself? The more you have to explain or convince yourself of others the more you're indirectly acknowledging that things aren't as peachy as you claim/wish them to be.
Agreed.
LOVE THIS!!!! SSHHEESSHHH!! SO true!!!!!
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