Sad and Hurt that im newly wed & it failed already

I recently got married to the guy ive been with in a distant relationship for 17 years. We did not talk in lots of details but we went for marriage, for him to surprise me the second day that we'll only see each other 6 days a month after his work because he works in another state, and that he wants me to sign a prenup. I ought to leave a perfect job, my friends and family just to start a life with him, and he surprised me with his impossible requests in order to process with the marriage. We married on 26th of May and have only spoken on the phone 4 times and we were fighting. I wont explain everything but bottom line is i made the wrong choice when i married him given he doesnt even call to check on me or ask how im doing. He just wants me to do things his way. He doesnt talk to me at all, about anything and living as if he never married. He's in the states, and i work in the middle east. He still refuses to add me on facebook but i know he spies on mine. His mom doesnt accept of me because we come from different background and she's a very tough woman, so he will not tell her about our marriage until we get kids. There will be no wedding ceremony before we have the kid.. His so harsh on me i have no idea he married me. I want to divorce him but im scared i regret it eventhough he doesnt give me any reason to continue loving him. Im attached to him and i do not know why. And if i do not divorce him then i wont be fair to myself.

I feel so lost and confused as to what to do, if we're newly wed and he did not make a slight effort to make me happy or comfortable and just thinks about his own fears and comfort, how is it going to be in a few months. My mind tells me get the hell away but my heart is hurting on fire. I cant even write my own diaries cause i cant explain the pain or talk about it. Though i go out with friends, joke and laugh that nobody knows what im going through but my body is aching and my health is going down..

I feel for you.

But the most important thing, right now: get a good attorney who can advise, whether you can annul

(first year) or if you need to proceed with a divorce.

It won't change, and I'm sorry.

But first and foremost is legal advice before your options are gone.

I wanna say because your scorp and he's aqua....or the long distance thing, might be the reason your marriage is on the rocks!! But it's not neither one...YOUR GUY IS A JERK!! 🙂 and sometimes jerky guys are hard too deal with, weather it's friendship ..siblings..husbands ..🙂 wives ...they are!! And I know a couple of jerky aqua guys...but they're not that jerky too women like that...the ones I know are everyday jerks and shy around women..🙂 Good luck with this one...

Good luck with the divorce, girl !!

All I saw was "distant relationship for 17 years" and then you proceed to marry the dude.

I'm amazed you're just now realizing what a bad choice that was made between you two.

But agreed with prior advice- get an attorney and figure out what you can do at this point. Hopefully you can get it annulled.

Posted by ScorpioHarmony
First of all, stop feeling sorry for yourself and start making action steps for a divorce / annulment. Make a conscious effort to move on, life will go on with or without him. Best wishes 🙂

Stop Agonizing over this loser and get an annulment . Much Love !!!!!

Wasn't this posted already? Aren't you the Scorpio woman who married the aqua—

how old are you OP?

im 34 and yes im the scorpio who married the aqua.. Sorry.. But i just felt like talking about it, again.. 😢( I cant talk to any of my friends or family as im going through a very sad phase, maybe i find out no he's not an asshole and maybe im not a fool..

an asshole*

*jerk!!

Posted by seapearl2014
im 34 and yes im the scorpio who married the aqua.. Sorry.. But i just felt like talking about it, again.. 😢( I cant talk to any of my friends or family as im going through a very sad phase, maybe i find out no he's not an asshole and maybe im not a fool..

#facepalm.

I think you will stop brooding when you yourself accept some responsibility in this. In the other blog you said it was off and on again. you knew something didnt feel right when you married him.

I know @DVV! double facepalm!!! Im being a drama queen at this very moment but will be back to normal as soon as im done with the nagging thing :0

Ure right, i knew but thought his childishness will be over since he overcame the commitment problem and proposed.. Thats why im so sad, because i brought myself to this..

Making poor choices is a part of the growing up process. Don't berate yourself for it, but don't sit there acting like you're a victim now. You are aware, that makes you responsible from that second forward. If you don't Love you now and make the right and obvious choice of ending your marriage then be prepared to pay the consequences.

Put on your "Big Girl Panties" and Deal.

Posted by seapearl2014
Ure right, i knew but thought his childishness will be over since he overcame the commitment problem and proposed.. Thats why im so sad, because i brought myself to this..

Old habits are not easy to get rid of. This is why I try not to get involved with men who have never made a commitment to a woman or have never been a steady long term relationship. I'm really sorry this has happened to you. The good news is your aware that there is a problem and can now work towards getting out of it. Don't let him talk you into staying. I your heart, you know and feel this is not right.

You did bring this upon yourself. You saw the red flags and if you're "on and off" with someone for a decade and a half, that's a MAJOR indicator of it not working out, not to go and fucking MARRY the guy.

You need to seek psychological help since you seem absolutely self destructive in your happiness. Listen to yourself- you settled with some asshat because you were desperate. You still reek desperation because you can't bear the thought of having to start over. What the hell kind of logic is that? You're willing to destroy any happiness of your own because of your debilitating desperation of being alone and single?

I knew Scorps were fucktards when it came to being alone, but Jesus Christ. Get a grip, woman. You CAN survive without the peen.

Nobody can help you unless you're willing to help yourself. And given your post history, it sounds like you aren't even there yet. You have to take a step forward somehow. That step forward does NOT involve him in your life, btw.

I took the time and answered you in detail on the Scorpio board. I see you just want to whine about this and do nothing.

I am not very observant and I have a distinct problem with memory recall, so I had to go look....

Lib Did take a fair amount of time responding to your other post on the Scorpio Board.
Not to mention a multitude of responses all indicating that it's time for you to move on.
What is it you are looking for? The magic spell to fix him?

The biggest problem you have right now is You. Your Fear. That is all that stands in the way of You and the Security/Happiness/Love etc that you THINK comes from someone else. Honestly, if you don't take even a baby step forward on the road to independence and self-reliability, it will be your price to pay. Take the advice offered seriously instead of posting thread after thread in search of the magic answer that doesn't exist. You cannot control anyone else's behavior except your own.

jfc ... what a dumb ass, lol

Posted by FixedWater
I am not very observant and I have a distinct problem with memory recall, so I had to go look....

Lib Did take a fair amount of time responding to your other post on the Scorpio Board.
Not to mention a multitude of responses all indicating that it's time for you to move on.
What is it you are looking for? The magic spell to fix him?

............

Was this advice given before or after she married him?

I agree with others, OP should really seek help with a psychologist.
Not only that, I would leap frog a divorce and figure it out later.
I'm a bit shocked that OP completely bypassed her Scorpio intuition and went with this guy.
OP you knew this was a bad idea. You know what to do, you just need to do it now.
A good lawyer and therapist will help you see this too the end.
But you must do something. Also find a close friend you feel comfortable with and confide in them.
Friends can help you through these trying times.

Posted by LunarMaiden

Was this advice given before or after she married him?

She made this same post at the Scorp board a day or so before this one where I answered her.
Hence the candle pic thingy.