Scenarios
This topic was created in the Relationships forum by krysrenee7 on Thursday, February 13, 2014 and has 9 replies.
Scenario 1:
A woman jumps into a fight where her man is getting jumped. She throws herself into the fire to try to break the fight up (not necessarily throw some blows herself).
Is this the "ride or die" thing to do for her man or the dumbest move ever?!
Scenario 2:
A man who's been getting smacked by his woman finally smacks (or punches) her back.
Should he have sucked it up & just walked away OR was he justified in using eye for an eye as the way to defend himself?
Scenario 3:
A woman walks up to your door & tells you that she's screwing your man (knows his full name) in your house while you are at work & then walks away. You've only lived in the house for 2 weeks so no one should know where you live just yet. She has no proof or evidence other than just her word.
Considering that people say "Without trust, you have nothing," would it be more smart to automatically believe her to an extent (keyword) before you even speak to your man about it OR would it be smart to not even entertain the idea of her being truthful until you talk to your man about it? (Meaning the only way you'd believe even 1% of it is if your man confirms it).
Scenario 4:
Your mother or father slaps the sh***t out of your partner simply b/c they don't like them. Your partner smacks them back.
Who is most likely to be in the doghouse the longest? Your mother/father for disrespecting your partner FIRST or your partner for not being the bigger person & walking away out of respect for that fact that after all, that IS your parent?
A woman jumps into a fight where her man is getting jumped. She throws herself into the fire to try to break the fight up (not necessarily throw some blows herself).
Is this the "ride or die" thing to do for her man or the dumbest move ever?!
Scenario 2:
A man who's been getting smacked by his woman finally smacks (or punches) her back.
Should he have sucked it up & just walked away OR was he justified in using eye for an eye as the way to defend himself?
Scenario 3:
A woman walks up to your door & tells you that she's screwing your man (knows his full name) in your house while you are at work & then walks away. You've only lived in the house for 2 weeks so no one should know where you live just yet. She has no proof or evidence other than just her word.
Considering that people say "Without trust, you have nothing," would it be more smart to automatically believe her to an extent (keyword) before you even speak to your man about it OR would it be smart to not even entertain the idea of her being truthful until you talk to your man about it? (Meaning the only way you'd believe even 1% of it is if your man confirms it).
Scenario 4:
Your mother or father slaps the sh***t out of your partner simply b/c they don't like them. Your partner smacks them back.
Who is most likely to be in the doghouse the longest? Your mother/father for disrespecting your partner FIRST or your partner for not being the bigger person & walking away out of respect for that fact that after all, that IS your parent?
Scenario 5:
You just found out that you were adopted & their excuse for not telling you is b/c your biological parents were drug dealing, murderers who abused their other children that they didn't actually give up for adoption.
Was your adoptive parents not telling you or exposing you to guaranteed abuse the NOBLE thing to do (they were just protecting you) OR were they 100% wrong for lying to you & not allowing you to make your own choice of who you wanted in your life?
You just found out that you were adopted & their excuse for not telling you is b/c your biological parents were drug dealing, murderers who abused their other children that they didn't actually give up for adoption.
Was your adoptive parents not telling you or exposing you to guaranteed abuse the NOBLE thing to do (they were just protecting you) OR were they 100% wrong for lying to you & not allowing you to make your own choice of who you wanted in your life?
Posted by krysrenee7
Scenario 1:
A woman jumps into a fight where her man is getting jumped. She throws herself into the fire to try to break the fight up (not necessarily throw some blows herself).
Is this the "ride or die" thing to do for her man or the dumbest move ever?!
Don't know if it's either..I did that purely on instinct. You mess with someone I care about, you mess with me. Things could have escalated quickly so I don't know if I would've regretted it. It was what it was at that point in time.
Posted by krysrenee7
Scenario 2:
A man who's been getting smacked by his woman finally smacks (or punches) her back.
Should he have sucked it up & just walked away OR was he justified in using eye for an eye as the way to defend himself?
I've had male friends in this situation..they walked away. If I was a guy and the chick would escalate a fight to a physical assault..I'd have nothing more to do with that chick. Some choose to hold her hands until she calms down.
Posted by krysrenee7
Scenario 3:
A woman walks up to your door & tells you that she's screwing your man (knows his full name) in your house while you are at work & then walks away. You've only lived in the house for 2 weeks so no one should know where you live just yet. She has no proof or evidence other than just her word.
Considering that people say "Without trust, you have nothing," would it be more smart to automatically believe her to an extent (keyword) before you even speak to your man about it OR would it be smart to not even entertain the idea of her being truthful until you talk to your man about it? (Meaning the only way you'd believe even 1% of it is if your man confirms it).click to expand
I'd question her motives in doing that. And I'd bring it up to him in a humorous note "Hon, you won't guess what happened today". I'd hope I'd understand how things are from his reaction...if I'm still clueless I have no one to blame but myself.
Posted by krysrenee7
Scenario 4:
Your mother or father slaps the sh***t out of your partner simply b/c they don't like them. Your partner smacks them back.
Who is most likely to be in the doghouse the longest? Your mother/father for disrespecting your partner FIRST or your partner for not being the bigger person & walking away out of respect for that fact that after all, that IS your parent?
Didn't have this happen ever. I'd question both their sanity honestly if things went down this way. I'd probably steer clear of them.
Posted by krysrenee7
Scenario 5:
You just found out that you were adopted & their excuse for not telling you is b/c your biological parents were drug dealing, murderers who abused their other children that they didn't actually give up for adoption.
Was your adoptive parents not telling you or exposing you to guaranteed abuse the NOBLE thing to do (they were just protecting you) OR were they 100% wrong for lying to you & not allowing you to make your own choice of who you wanted in your life?click to expand
100% right for not telling me. For me it doesn't matter who the biological parents are..what matters is who actually raised me. I'd like to know when I'm old enough to find out though...but I can see their reasons in not divulging the information
See I feel a little differently about the adoption scenario. I'm a little torn.
Of course I'd feel some sense of nobleness on their part if their intention was to spare me from guaranteed anguish & abuse.
However, persay I didn't find out until I was 50 that I may have been stripped of getting to know multiple siblings or a whole nother' entire side of my family (who aren't even abusive), I'd be kinda pissed.
Not being told the truth doesn't just strip you from your biological parents. It always strips you from possible siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. that could've been healthy & great for your life!
Of course I'd feel some sense of nobleness on their part if their intention was to spare me from guaranteed anguish & abuse.
However, persay I didn't find out until I was 50 that I may have been stripped of getting to know multiple siblings or a whole nother' entire side of my family (who aren't even abusive), I'd be kinda pissed.
Not being told the truth doesn't just strip you from your biological parents. It always strips you from possible siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. that could've been healthy & great for your life!
My situation is a bit fucked up...growing up I wished I was adopted because my mother's side of the family is really..really bad.
I might be projecting on this issue but I wondered a lot.
I might be projecting on this issue but I wondered a lot.
Scenario 1: I'm riding, no matter the outcome!
Scenario 2: He def needs to just walk away, bc no matter who's right or wrong, he's going to jail if he hits her back
Scenario 3: Shockingly, I wouldn't entertain the idea of it being true 'til I speak to him bc deep down I wouldn't want to believe it anyway
Scenario 4: No matter who slapped who first, they're both wrong for getting physical but I would probably be more at my man for slapping them back!
Scenario 5: I would probably feel both ways at some point! That one's hard bc I know someone who in a similar situation and she's going thru it right now. She's not 50 but she's mature enough
Scenario 2: He def needs to just walk away, bc no matter who's right or wrong, he's going to jail if he hits her back
Scenario 3: Shockingly, I wouldn't entertain the idea of it being true 'til I speak to him bc deep down I wouldn't want to believe it anyway
Scenario 4: No matter who slapped who first, they're both wrong for getting physical but I would probably be more at my man for slapping them back!
Scenario 5: I would probably feel both ways at some point! That one's hard bc I know someone who in a similar situation and she's going thru it right now. She's not 50 but she's mature enough
I'll address 1 and 2 only.
1. Bad move to jump in for personal safety reasons. If the man loves you, he'd want you on the sidelines and unharmed. (it would be flattering though to know that your woman loved you enough to scrap with/for you.....still not smart though.)
2. Really ladies? The scenario presented sounds like a pattern of behavior from the abusing female. I've never hit a woman, do not condone it, and hope I never have to. But, there is a reason women hit men, and it's precisely what you are advocating. Because they know men can't/won't hit them back. Women hit because they've never been held accountable for their despicable behavior. I'm inclined to say .... knock her on her ass to break her nasty habit, and help her understand what consequences are.
1. Bad move to jump in for personal safety reasons. If the man loves you, he'd want you on the sidelines and unharmed. (it would be flattering though to know that your woman loved you enough to scrap with/for you.....still not smart though.)
2. Really ladies? The scenario presented sounds like a pattern of behavior from the abusing female. I've never hit a woman, do not condone it, and hope I never have to. But, there is a reason women hit men, and it's precisely what you are advocating. Because they know men can't/won't hit them back. Women hit because they've never been held accountable for their despicable behavior. I'm inclined to say .... knock her on her ass to break her nasty habit, and help her understand what consequences are.
1. I am 50/50 on this. Of course my instinct would be to jump in & "ride or die" for my man. But would it make logical sense to jump into a fire that is most likely to result in BOTH of us being injured? Probably not. I'd rather just call the police. The REAL blows come in when you press charges on every single one of them for assault.
2. I feel that unless a woman is using deadly or truly hurtful force on a man, that his best bet is to walk away or call the police. Not b/c he doesn't deserve the right to defend himself, but b/c unfortunately the minute he retaliates, HE is the one going to jail. And considering the fact that he can go to jail, lose custody of his children or lose his job b/c he was in jail & not at work, it's really not worth it. All the disadvantages of hitting her back far outweigh the advantages. The law is on the woman's side. He oughta keep this in mind when deciding how to respond to an abusive woman. A lot of things are "unfair" but if it is what it is, then adjust your reactions accordingly until the law changes.
3. I wouldn't believe a shred of it until I talked to him first. His demeanor & response would tell me everything I needed to know. The whole "Trust is everything" creed should be practiced all the time, & not just when you feel like it or when it's convenient. Convenient or part-time trust is NOT trust.
4. They'd all be in the doghouse. I don't believe my "family" should be able to get away with murder scott-free all b/c they're my "family." I wouldn't mind if my husband used force to defend himself if that's his only choice, but I'd prefer him not to simply b/c him striking back would just add more fuel & escalation to an already ridiculous & disrespectful fire. I'd be very upset at my parent(s)disrespecting me through means of disrespecting him. When he became my husband & father of my children, he became just as much "family" as my parents.
5. I'd want to at least know that I am adopted. Sure, hold all the crazy details about my biological parents from me until I am of age to understand it, but don't let me spend my whole life w/o that information.
2. I feel that unless a woman is using deadly or truly hurtful force on a man, that his best bet is to walk away or call the police. Not b/c he doesn't deserve the right to defend himself, but b/c unfortunately the minute he retaliates, HE is the one going to jail. And considering the fact that he can go to jail, lose custody of his children or lose his job b/c he was in jail & not at work, it's really not worth it. All the disadvantages of hitting her back far outweigh the advantages. The law is on the woman's side. He oughta keep this in mind when deciding how to respond to an abusive woman. A lot of things are "unfair" but if it is what it is, then adjust your reactions accordingly until the law changes.
3. I wouldn't believe a shred of it until I talked to him first. His demeanor & response would tell me everything I needed to know. The whole "Trust is everything" creed should be practiced all the time, & not just when you feel like it or when it's convenient. Convenient or part-time trust is NOT trust.
4. They'd all be in the doghouse. I don't believe my "family" should be able to get away with murder scott-free all b/c they're my "family." I wouldn't mind if my husband used force to defend himself if that's his only choice, but I'd prefer him not to simply b/c him striking back would just add more fuel & escalation to an already ridiculous & disrespectful fire. I'd be very upset at my parent(s)disrespecting me through means of disrespecting him. When he became my husband & father of my children, he became just as much "family" as my parents.
5. I'd want to at least know that I am adopted. Sure, hold all the crazy details about my biological parents from me until I am of age to understand it, but don't let me spend my whole life w/o that information.
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