should the man always propose?

should it always be the man who proposes to a woman for marriage? though a woman would like to be proposed by the man, and so would the man like to be the one who does the proposing, but how would you, as a man, respond to a woman proposing to you. would it make a difference if you also happened to lover her and were already in a relationship with her? or would it always be a turn-off, no matter what?

i would have no issues expressing my interest in someone who i think might be interested in me too, but it would only go as far as insinuating marriage, actually saying 'will you marry me' to the man, i don't think will ever work. could it?

Posted by tiziani
I honestly didn't get offended or anything like other man have surprisingly told me. Some guys will say they feel they've been humiliated in front of their friends because she took the thunder and the pants. Maybe I was too laid back at the time.

hmm..interesting to know that some men might find it offending. i never would have imagined that. making him disinterested in her after that, maybe, but offended? i would think he would atleast admire her confidence/strength if nothing else. i do know of situations, where the woman has expressed love first and the man has followed through with proposing to her after accepting his feelings for her. but guess the proposal has to come from the man ha?

Posted by SweetLibra
So many men seem to want you to chase them these days, I hope they are not turning the tables on us and wanting women to do the proposing too. Jeez, it's getting hard out here.

haha hope not.

Posted by tiziani
Hard out here for a pimp!

Are you thinking of proposing to your man, memyself?

there is no man to propose right now, but always wondered what a man thought about this. it takes forever for people to commit these days, so how long should a girl wait before getting asked. i know these things cannot be timed, but in today's fast paced world, how long should you stand still waiting to be asked. and what makes a man to take forever to decide about someone he has a relationship with for year's and then all of a sudden take no time proposing to someone he just met. whatever, i guess this or that it all points to let him do 'THE TALK' hehe.

Posted by msmarilynmanson
yes he should but i am old fashioned in love. let the man be the,man.

i agree too, the hopeless romantic that i am

Posted by Torro
Of course not, but I would personally never propose to a man. Just saying it sounds stupid. On the other hand, I wouldn't accept a man's proposal either so maybe I'm not the one to speak.

if no one does the proposing, how will it happen then?

Posted by msmarilynmanson

Posted by memyself

Posted by Torro
Of course not, but I would personally never propose to a man. Just saying it sounds stupid. On the other hand, I wouldn't accept a man's proposal either so maybe I'm not the one to speak.

if no one does the proposing, how will it happen then?

you wait for the man. if he wants it bad enough he'll put a ring on it. men aren't dumb. 🙂

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i meant torro says she won't propose and won't accept any proposal. so then what?

Posted by msmarilynmanson

Posted by memyself

Posted by Torro
Of course not, but I would personally never propose to a man. Just saying it sounds stupid. On the other hand, I wouldn't accept a man's proposal either so maybe I'm not the one to speak.

if no one does the proposing, how will it happen then?

you wait for the man. if he wants it bad enough he'll put a ring on it. men aren't dumb. 🙂

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and for the one's that are, it's their loss 🙂

Posted by tiziani
I believe between two people that are mature enough to have been around the block and know all the words from the songsheet, it doesn't take that long before they can have an open and honest talk about whether they see it as being forever or not.

That's like pre-empting the proposition, but even if it's agreed that they see things the same way that still leaves a wide open lane for the man to decide when/where/how surprising he wants it to be. Make room for romance and everybody wins.

Once you start making commitments, life starts giving you answers.

+1. key being commitments from both

and as much as a man thinks it is only a matter of his proposing and the pressure is all on him, he should understand that making 'THE ULTIMATE' commitment is as scary for a woman as it is for a man. so it will take only a confident, sensitive man to acknowledge that while it is HUGE for him to propose, it is also HUGE for a woman to accept.

Posted by tiziani

Posted by memyself
and as much as a man thinks it is only a matter of his proposing and the pressure is all on him, he should understand that making 'THE ULTIMATE' commitment is as scary for a woman as it is for a man. so it will take only a confident, sensitive man to acknowledge that while it is HUGE for him to propose, it is also HUGE for a woman to accept.

Hm, I never actually thought it of like that from the other side of the coin.

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believe it, after all we are trusting you to take care of us. A woman might be crazy in love with you, but she also wants to be sure that you will treat her right, will take care of her. a woman has high expectations from her husband you know 🙂 while she is waiting to be proposed, she is also thinking if you will make a good husband if you do ask.

Posted by Torro

Posted by memyself

Posted by Torro
Of course not, but I would personally never propose to a man. Just saying it sounds stupid. On the other hand, I wouldn't accept a man's proposal either so maybe I'm not the one to speak.

if no one does the proposing, how will it happen then?

The rest of my post answers the question. It won't! I just don't see the point of marriage, never did. You get a piece of paper that says you two are now together, wow. You mean just like before you were "married"? But I guess if my lover was more on the conservative side and really wanted to get married I would probably do it for him, it wouldn't make me happy though. If it made him happy, than maybe a little bit.

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if you believe in that, then more power to you. whatever you believe that makes you happy, makes you happy!

Posted by tiziani
Yeah I can't lie to you, that's probably the area where I am riddled with doubts. I often wonder if a woman that ends up with me would be ending up with a decent enough man. I suppose there's a lot of past reasons behind that I don't care to think about too much anymore but I wouldn't blame her if she was asking the question in her head.

that's decent of you to accept hehe. don't worry, with the right girl you will work to make it work.

I would much prefer he does it but I wouldn't mind doing it.

Posted by Sashimoon
I would much prefer he does it but I wouldn't mind doing it.

go with your heart 🙂

Posted by tiziani

Posted by Sashimoon
I would much prefer he does it but I wouldn't mind doing it.

Nice to see someone admit it. I thought all the woman that would propose would be intimidated out of the thread by these responses.

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+1

lol, Elly.

My ex-husband and I discussed that we were going to get engaged. He wanted to move in together, and I wouldn't do that without a commitment. We went to pick out a ring, which we had made. So we went to the jewelry shop together and we picked a diamond and I told him what I wanted the ring to look like.

A few weeks later, he said he had to go pick up my ring, would I like to go with him? He said, you're not getting it today, but if you want you can come pick it up so you can see it.

So I went, and on the way home, he pulled over to the side of the road, and said, "Are you going to marry me or what? Because if you are, then you can wear your ring." lol.

I always thought that was the most un-romantic proposal ever. It was so not a movie proposal. But looking back it was kinda romantic, because he was so excited and he couldn't wait.

lol ..... this is a funny thread.


So, let me get this straight ... all of you women out there who are desperate to have the man approve of you, and you chase them to no end to get them to approve of you ... you have no clue that you do that?

Now you ask this question, completely ignorant of the fact that you take the submissive role ALWAYS when you are waiting with bated breath for the guy to notice and want you?




Certainly, I can't be the only one who recognizes reality.

Posted by capgirl69
lol, Elly.

My ex-husband and I discussed that we were going to get engaged. He wanted to move in together, and I wouldn't do that without a commitment. We went to pick out a ring, which we had made. So we went to the jewelry shop together and we picked a diamond and I told him what I wanted the ring to look like.

A few weeks later, he said he had to go pick up my ring, would I like to go with him? He said, you're not getting it today, but if you want you can come pick it up so you can see it.

So I went, and on the way home, he pulled over to the side of the road, and said, "Are you going to marry me or what? Because if you are, then you can wear your ring." lol.

I always thought that was the most un-romantic proposal ever. It was so not a movie proposal. But looking back it was kinda romantic, because he was so excited and he couldn't wait.

OMG!!! Once again, our lives almost parallell. My Ex Husband, gemini, proposed to me in a parking lot of a shopping center. I was working in retail then and he had taken me to lunch and then proposed when he dropped me back off at work. The most unromantic moment ever!!!! Don't you think that should have told us something? lol!!

This is getting almost scary, capgirl!!

Are you my long long twin?? haha!

long, lost twin, not long, long twin! lol!

I know a lady in her 60s, divorced for only a few years. She met a man in his early 70s and they started dating. When her mother passed away, she inherited her mother's wedding ring.

This, sweet, shy, traditional lady handed him the ring and said "Here. When you ask me to marry me, use this". (this is Dec).
He said: "When are you thinking about".
She said: "The 24th".
He said: "Of June?"
She said: "January".

Yep, they were married the 24th of January the next month and are the sweetest, happiest couple!!!

She told me this story and said "Now, THAT's how ya do it".

Posted by truecap

Posted by capgirl69
lol, Elly.

My ex-husband and I discussed that we were going to get engaged. He wanted to move in together, and I wouldn't do that without a commitment. We went to pick out a ring, which we had made. So we went to the jewelry shop together and we picked a diamond and I told him what I wanted the ring to look like.

A few weeks later, he said he had to go pick up my ring, would I like to go with him? He said, you're not getting it today, but if you want you can come pick it up so you can see it.

So I went, and on the way home, he pulled over to the side of the road, and said, "Are you going to marry me or what? Because if you are, then you can wear your ring." lol.

I always thought that was the most un-romantic proposal ever. It was so not a movie proposal. But looking back it was kinda romantic, because he was so excited and he couldn't wait.

OMG!!! Once again, our lives almost parallell. My Ex Husband, gemini, proposed to me in a parking lot of a shopping center. I was working in retail then and he had taken me to lunch and then proposed when he dropped me back off at work. The most unromantic moment ever!!!! Don't you think that should have told us something? lol!!

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lol. It's because they are Geminis. Those guys are nuts! I wonder how he proposed to his current wife. lol. Though I know it involved them going to the jewelry store together and the store threw in a free tv. lol.

Awww, you know he did it for the TV!! lol!!!

It was a 46" plasma tv. Free with purchase. He asked me if I wanted it because they didn't need it, to add insult to injury. *roll eyes* They ended up giving it to his sister after I told him to go to hell. lol.

Dang girl!!! I would have taken it and then sold it to someone else!! Make some easy cash off of it!

i'm old fashioned. My first husband, Pisces, proposed to me on his knees. My husband proposed too, but not on his knees or anything. Still, very old fashioned. 🙂