So guys what does it mean
This topic was created in the Relationships forum by sweethearts on Monday, January 12, 2009 and has 13 replies.
When you say, "don't fall in love with me" And it's normally said in the first couple of dates if not the first!! My immediate reaction is Nooo, that's not going to happen! I wonder why you would even speak of the "L word" so early in the peace...is it because they have had girls falling straight away or do they feel it themselves & use reverse Psychology??
They're just arrogant. Or trying to be cute. 
Well it makes me want to run for the hills and I get all defensive and feel like saying it's not something I do that easily! I guess that I take it as arrogance which is why it annoys me, I think there is a time and place for the "L" word but only if it is really felt...no matter how long or short a time!
Actually he turned out to almost be a stalker and from that 1 coffee onwards wouldn't stop ringing and texting til I told him I wouldn't go out with him again! I only got 2 replies to which I ignored, the last being an attack on me personally! But it has been said before from others (not stalkers) so I guess there are all types of reasons why men feel the need to say it. Still makes me feel all defensive!
Well in both cases that I was thinking about, I thought they were more into it than me. It certainly was the last thing on my mind! Funny thing is that the 1st one I ended up caring for more and maybe could have fallen in love with in time...
the other was a nutcase and after a 2 1/2 hour coffee date nearly 3 weeks ago & after I told him there was NO interest in anything further. He has texted 3 times and called once to which I won't reply. Might sound harsh but honestly this guy is a stalker and I'm sooo glad he doesn't know where I live or anything about me but my phone number. And if he calls again I will have his number blacklisted! He really is starting to creep me out now!
So I don't think it was arrogance or experience in that case but more the reverse Psychology... If I say it then she might start to feel it....
Anyway guys leave the teasing of the "L" word out of a relationship/date in the beginning.. Not something you should mess with!!
the other was a nutcase and after a 2 1/2 hour coffee date nearly 3 weeks ago & after I told him there was NO interest in anything further. He has texted 3 times and called once to which I won't reply. Might sound harsh but honestly this guy is a stalker and I'm sooo glad he doesn't know where I live or anything about me but my phone number. And if he calls again I will have his number blacklisted! He really is starting to creep me out now!
So I don't think it was arrogance or experience in that case but more the reverse Psychology... If I say it then she might start to feel it....
Anyway guys leave the teasing of the "L" word out of a relationship/date in the beginning.. Not something you should mess with!!
lol! sorry but that was pretty funny...
sounds like he read or heard that girls always fall for guy and tried to be cool like a guy... but no one told him not all chicks are the same... guess you showed him eh
sounds like he read or heard that girls always fall for guy and tried to be cool like a guy... but no one told him not all chicks are the same... guess you showed him eh
Was unintentional...just it wasn't there for me and to be hounded by texts and phone calls for 3 days solid when he knew I was busy & sick started to alert me to the fact that someone was a little over the top!!
Isn't it always the way...the guy you want to flip over you is oh sooo reserved and couldn't care a less if it was a week or two between contact and the one you you aren't interested in is all over you like a rash!!!~!
Isn't it always the way...the guy you want to flip over you is oh sooo reserved and couldn't care a less if it was a week or two between contact and the one you you aren't interested in is all over you like a rash!!!~!
Sweethearts~ I FEEL YA!
lol ^^^ yea that ought to do it
Gem, let me know what that book is calle dout of curiosity. But it certainly won't work on me as I'm 108 years old and I have had enough kids to drive me insane and I certainly am commitment phobic as well...which could be my downfall too...
Moon, sounds like a plan to me. I guess we almost sum up within the first date whether they will rock our worlds or NOT as was the story here.
If he does text or call again. My very good friend is going to contact him and tell him TO LEAVE ME ALONE!!!! I am a little shaken that he is still contacting me and my worst fear is that you can google my first name only and get information about me because i have a Bebo site & Old Friends site and i don't know how to get that information off!!!!
Moon, sounds like a plan to me. I guess we almost sum up within the first date whether they will rock our worlds or NOT as was the story here.
If he does text or call again. My very good friend is going to contact him and tell him TO LEAVE ME ALONE!!!! I am a little shaken that he is still contacting me and my worst fear is that you can google my first name only and get information about me because i have a Bebo site & Old Friends site and i don't know how to get that information off!!!!
OMG, this guys (the stalker) Gf just signed up at the gym that I work at...didn't realize until she started selling him for our open day (he hires out bouncy castles and does magic, all round entertainer) Put 2 and 2 together and worked out it was the same stalker. Didnt say anything to her but found his number in the yellow pages and texted him a threat so as NOT to contact me again!!!
UNBELIEVABLE! Some people have some nerve, I should be a total bitch and dob him in!!!
UNBELIEVABLE! Some people have some nerve, I should be a total bitch and dob him in!!!
Ay, you'd be suprised at how brutally honest men can be, indirectly.
1. He could've said that b/c he wanted you to read between the lines & get the hint that he's not emotionally available right now. And since he can't control how someone else's feels about him, he might've just told you to stay as far away as possible from him (emotionally) so that you're feelings wouldn't get hurt. He was basically saying, "I'm just going to be myself & I hope that you don't fall for me b/c I am emotionally unavailable right now & I don't want that kind of guilt on my heart right now."
2. He might've told you that b/c he's had a few girls in his past that have fallen for him WAY too quickly before he even had the chance to know their middle names. He might be trying to tell you to recognize that he is not as shallow, not as naive, not as quick to wear his heart on his sleeve & that he's the type of guy that takes things slow in the "love" department. And since he can't force others to be this way, he figures he'll atleast warn you up front so there will be no secret/hidden expectations.
3. He might've told you this b/c naturally he was telling on himself & secretely revealing to you what his main problem is. HE might be the one with the problem of falling for other women too quickly, so he convinced himself that if he tells a woman up front not to get attached to him, that it'll save him from wanting to get attached to her as well.
4. And there's always the chance that this guy just said this as a pick up line or out of arrogance or simply b/c he wanted to see your reaction. Or this guy might be so lame & cocky that he already assumes the universe rotates around him & that you'll immediately fall for him. If this guy is really attractive or has a lonnnng "ex girlfriends" list, then chances are, he might be saying this b/c somewhere a long the line someone geeked his head up & made him assume that his natural presence alone would make a woman's heart melt. But who knows, this guy could've been joking or dead serious. Either way, I'm not sure that's a good thing
1. He could've said that b/c he wanted you to read between the lines & get the hint that he's not emotionally available right now. And since he can't control how someone else's feels about him, he might've just told you to stay as far away as possible from him (emotionally) so that you're feelings wouldn't get hurt. He was basically saying, "I'm just going to be myself & I hope that you don't fall for me b/c I am emotionally unavailable right now & I don't want that kind of guilt on my heart right now."
2. He might've told you that b/c he's had a few girls in his past that have fallen for him WAY too quickly before he even had the chance to know their middle names. He might be trying to tell you to recognize that he is not as shallow, not as naive, not as quick to wear his heart on his sleeve & that he's the type of guy that takes things slow in the "love" department. And since he can't force others to be this way, he figures he'll atleast warn you up front so there will be no secret/hidden expectations.
3. He might've told you this b/c naturally he was telling on himself & secretely revealing to you what his main problem is. HE might be the one with the problem of falling for other women too quickly, so he convinced himself that if he tells a woman up front not to get attached to him, that it'll save him from wanting to get attached to her as well.
4. And there's always the chance that this guy just said this as a pick up line or out of arrogance or simply b/c he wanted to see your reaction. Or this guy might be so lame & cocky that he already assumes the universe rotates around him & that you'll immediately fall for him. If this guy is really attractive or has a lonnnng "ex girlfriends" list, then chances are, he might be saying this b/c somewhere a long the line someone geeked his head up & made him assume that his natural presence alone would make a woman's heart melt. But who knows, this guy could've been joking or dead serious. Either way, I'm not sure that's a good thing
Actually if you read the rest of the thread after I told him I'm NOT interested in a 2nd date I got stalked for the next 4 weeks to which I didnt reply ofr pick up but then I found out yesterday that he in actual fact has a girlfriend (living with) who was out of town!!! Total prick and loser!!! Needless to say I texted him threatening him not to contact me again or I'd blow his cover!
Stil I take on board your advice for the next one! Us ladies have to be sooo aware of the idiots out there that just love to play games!!
Stil I take on board your advice for the next one! Us ladies have to be sooo aware of the idiots out there that just love to play games!!
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