Soulmate list

Has anyone ever done a soulmate list where you write out all the qualities you want in a partner? Just curious. How did it work? What was on it? 😉

I wrote down what I would ideally want in a partner and when i looked at it I thought...never going to find that person! ha

I don't write a list. I think of all the qualities that would mesh well with me and light a candle. 🙂

you should all list your DXP soul mates I will start the thread

Well of course we've all either made that list in our heads or actually put in down on paper. I just wrote a list that, in my mind, was a little more realistic. I wrote down a list of all the qualities someone absolutely MUST have like honesty, being religious, etc. On the back of the page, I also wrote down a list of "deal breakers" that I absolutely would not tolerate/put up with like cheating, abusive, etc. The list of things someone MUST have (make or break) was alot shorter than just a typical list of all the things we only "wish/hope" someone has. And because I wrote my list this way, I don't see any harm in that.

I instead consider my list a "standards" list moreso than a "soulmates/perfect partner list." And I say that b/c while people will criticize anyone who feels the "perfect/ideal" match is out there, they won't necessarily put you down for having standards & valid preferences. Me having that list was moreso of a reminder to me what to look for what I meet someone else. It keeps me on my toes & reminds me not to let just my emotions take over all the time. Sometimes we can get so caught up in the fun/heat of the moment, that we forget about the things that are most important. Me having that list keeps me on my toes & is a constant reminder of the things already in my head. It works perfectly as long as I try to keep the list as short, BUT as valid & beneficial to me as possible ;~P

I've changed my list so much that I'm pretty sure at this pint that I no longer have requirements and that I'm just going to rely on intuition, lol.

I agree. We all change during different times in our lives. At one stage/point in our lives, we might really be in need/desire a partner with specific traits/qualities, yet during another different phase in our lives, we might be seeking/craving something completely different. That's why it's best to use intuition/common sense b/c it's always automatically "updating" itself throughout every single phase. What a person is looking for might change throughout different phases in their lives, so there is no 1 list that will perfectly match every single stage in our lives

Thanks everyone for the feedback. I have used them in the past and have often met a man very similar to what I put on the list. This time I am doing the work and making myself ready for love in a way I haven't before.

Posted by Let*It*Be
"Has anyone ever done a soulmate list where you write out all the qualities you want in a partner? Just curious. How did it work? What was on it?"


Curious, what's on your list? Care to share?

Hey There LetItBe

I thought you point about using a list to mold a man into the one on the list to be a very valid criticism. I have used a list before and found it very helpful in narrowing down the type of man I wanted and why. I did not use it, however, as a tool to make someone into something they weren't. Au contraire! During the dating process, I found it helpful because when a particular guy I was seeing didn't work out, it actually helped me let the man go easier because first thing on my list was him wanting a loving, committed relationship with me. If the guy, didn't have that, then he simply wasn't my guy and I found it easier to let him go. Instead of using as a blue print to transform someone (which I do not believe in at all), I used it to help me find the right guy for me (at the time).

I feel I have changed a lot since ending my long term relationship a few months ago and am finally looking at my patterns, fears, and blocks in relationships. What I find odd is I am coming out of this relationship with greater optimism about love then I went in. I believe in love (which is HUGE) and furthermore, I believe it is possible for me (Astonishing!) My best friend of many, many years was shocked because never in the time I have known her have I expressed optimism about love. That shift alone is huge. So I am approaching love from a heart centred place, in a way that I haven't before. I am cleaning up all the things that prevented me from really succeeding (can one really succeed at love? lol) in love. I am doing my work, on me. As a result, I am looking for different things than I have in the past. Mainly because I want to be known, which I haven't wanted in the past.

Although I haven't written my list yet, I suspect it will include things like someone who I trust and feel safe being vulnerable with. Someone who is supportive and encouraging. Someone who makes an effort to understand me.

I suspect it will also include thin

hmmm ... no idea why the post cut off.

I will put on some of the traits I value like creativity, intelligence, a wonderful sense of fun. And of course my superficial wish of tall with dark hair and a beard or stubble (yumm).

This time around I would really, really like to date someone I am attracted to. 🙂

Satori

Thanks for sharing. I suspect some relationships are catalysis to greater changes. I always suspected my last relationship wasn't meant to be forever but was meant to heal both of us and I believe that to be true. Season and a reason and all that.

My last partner was very much what I am looking for in a man but there was very little physical chemistry or passion. We really were best friends without the fireworks so I understand the pain of your marriage.

Here is hoping for better days and new lovers for both of us.

On my list it's really what I would like to see in the next person and also a list of what I will not except but TBH

it'd be nice to actually meet someone again that I feel an instant bond or that feeling when you can just talk for hours and time slips away and all you can see is each other in that crowded room. The magnetism and the feeling that you have known that person your whole life even though you have only just met. That shall be on my wish list 🙂

I can't have one I have no soul

OH BOLLOX.

Hi eden! *waves*

Sweethearts - oh I love that. I had that with my now ex. It really allowed me just to relax and breathe.

LetitBe - yeah. I am one of those I need to see it on paper people. lol! I get too wrapped up in things. I also tend to see things from the other person's point of view and forget about my own best interest. Whatever works I guess. 🙂

tate - I hear they are having a 2 for 1 sale on souls down at Boots. give that a try. 🙂

I did a novina to SHABOOM on the religion board