Soulmates meant to cause pain and push us out of

our comfort zone. I found the below quote today... has this happened for you?

—A true soul mate is probably the most important person you??ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mate's purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, and make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life.?? ~Elizabeth Gilbert

Posted by VenusStar
our comfort zone. I found the below quote today... has this happened for you?

—A true soul mate is probably the most important person you??ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mate's purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, and make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life.?? ~Elizabeth Gilbert

Great quote - it makes sense. I believe a soul mate is not necessarily someone you will end up with, but it's someone that will have such a heavy impact on your life that it brings out a side of you that you never knew about or had seen before and transforms your overall character.

Posted by vesperlynd83

Posted by VenusStar
our comfort zone. I found the below quote today... has this happened for you?

—A true soul mate is probably the most important person you??ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mate's purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, and make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life.?? ~Elizabeth Gilbert

Great quote - it makes sense. I believe a soul mate is not necessarily someone you will end up with, but it's someone that will have such a heavy impact on your life that it brings out a side of you that you never knew about or had seen before and transforms your overall character.

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Agree 100% . I have experienced it firsthand.

I don't believe that they are meant to cause you pain. I think soulmates are there to help you grow & complete you as a person. It's very possible to spend your life with the person that's meant to be there

Posted by legionair
Thats very interesting!! but wouldn't any break up do this to you? regardless if it ended bad or good. You would want to change to find your true self right? i'm just asking.

That may be true (for females). I think that a soulmates sole purpose is turn disrupt your emotional well being by tearing down every defense that is familiar to you and leaving you vulnerable with no other choice but to seek change. Hope that makes sense.

Posted by 2BlackIndian3
I don't believe that they are meant to cause you pain. I think soulmates are there to help you grow & complete you as a person. It's very possible to spend your life with the person that's meant to be there

Growth and change don't happen unless there is some discomfort, pain and sacrifice. For example with exercise, your muscles must be torn down before they can be built back up stronger than they were before.

Posted by vesperlynd83

Posted by VenusStar
our comfort zone. I found the below quote today... has this happened for you?

—A true soul mate is probably the most important person you??ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mate's purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, and make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life.?? ~Elizabeth Gilbert

Great quote - it makes sense. I believe a soul mate is not necessarily someone you will end up with, but it's someone that will have such a heavy impact on your life that it brings out a side of you that you never knew about or had seen before and transforms your overall character.

click to expand

Exactly!

Posted by CapTenn

Posted by vesperlynd83

Posted by VenusStar
our comfort zone. I found the below quote today... has this happened for you?

—A true soul mate is probably the most important person you??ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mate's purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, and make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life.?? ~Elizabeth Gilbert

Great quote - it makes sense. I believe a soul mate is not necessarily someone you will end up with, but it's someone that will have such a heavy impact on your life that it brings out a side of you that you never knew about or had seen before and transforms your overall character.

Agree 100% . I have experienced it firsthand.

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What happened? How did you change?

Posted by 2BlackIndian3
I don't believe that they are meant to cause you pain. I think soulmates are there to help you grow & complete you as a person. It's very possible to spend your life with the person that's meant to be there

But often pain comes hand in hand with growth. Without pain, you don't learn from a situation/mistake.

@vesperlynd83 you could be right, sometimes i get afraid of losing that specific person. You know it's difficult for Cancers to let go. I'm just afraid that if pain does come, i may lose everything you know

Posted by vesperlynd83

Posted by 2BlackIndian3
I don't believe that they are meant to cause you pain. I think soulmates are there to help you grow & complete you as a person. It's very possible to spend your life with the person that's meant to be there

But often pain comes hand in hand with growth. Without pain, you don't learn from a situation/mistake.

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Maybe it's just my naivety speaking, but you can still experience pain and growth, and still be with that person. It happens all the time...not negating anyone's comments here because maybe for some people it's just not mean to be, but I do agree with 2BI3. It shouldn't have to be that the person leaves your life to experience pain over them. Many people in love go thru pain, sacrificing who are they and what they want for their s/o (who they could very well see as their soulmate) and it doesn't mean that they have to give them up to find their trueselves. In my opinion, that's where seeing your issues and mistakes, and YOU making the choice to change it. Now, if it takes for someone to walk out of your life before you do that then that's how YOU grow, but some people do make that necessary change in the moment, bc they want to keep that person in their lives (in terms of both people involved, considering it takes two). IDK, that's just how I think...

I agree @ChocolateAries, i also wasn't trying to say that what everyone comments were wrong. I think you put my post here in how it was meant to be read or in better words than me. I wouldn't want to lose a soulmate over pain or trying to grow. You should be able to grow with your soulmate. That's what i was really trying to say. Good discussion though

Posted by VenusStar
our comfort zone. I found the below quote today... has this happened for you?

—A true soul mate is probably the most important person you??ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mate's purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, and make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life.?? ~Elizabeth Gilbert

I maybe wrong. But this sounds more like a Twin Flame, especially with the mirroring. It is hard to swallow when you are looking at yourself.

Reason, Season, Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Posted by starlover

Posted by silentkiller
Starlover: can you explain twin flame shortly? 🙂 Thank you🙂

Hello 🙂

Well i never believed in that stuff, but since having quantum hypnotherapy i was *shown* myself with a man in my past (two lives) and he is the one that i am meant to be with...so with the soulmate thing, you can end up hating them lol cos they push you to the bring whereas with the Twin Flame one, it is the *other half* of you .. if that is what you believe in

I am so cynical about it all, but am staying open. Apparently mine is coming to me this year lol..September, so i will let you know how it works


🙂

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I'm sorry not trying to be funny here but you're cynical about Twin Flames but yet you BELIEVE you and your soul mate have killed each other in past lives....😕

By the sounds of it, it seems like you all are saying any abusive relationship constitutes a soul mate connection, one where you are LITERALLY fearful of your life, yet you can't help but love and stay connected to the person putting that fear in you.

If that's what a soul mate is, no thank you. I see nothing desirable about finding a lover that hurts me repeatedly over and over again.

Believing you have found your Twin Flame and not being able to be with them is very trying and painful. I believe Scorp is mine, and I didn't come to that conclusion lightly. He is my mirror, and I am his. There is no denying that there cannot be another Man out there so much like me, and I tried to deny him and the relationship. I am, in fact, still trying to deny it. I don't want to know that I will most likely not be able to experience the one relationship that I feel I have been seeking for most of my life. It hardly seems fair now does it? The universe has its way though and until we are ready for each other I have placed him in a "sub-file" so to speak. I'm a bit on the fence though about the whole Twin Flame relationship anyway. It seems that for something so rare, many people have experienced it. Perhaps he is a False Twin? One that leeches onto the energy of a Twin Flame in order to feel that power? Maybe he was just a Karmic soulmate and one brought to settle karmic debt? I could try to explain it away many different ways but yet I still settle on the fact that he's my Twin. My theory remains... if we are meant to be together, we will be. If not, I have saved myself a whole lot of different heartache. Maybe the message is to leave Love be Love and not label it?

I hear you there... I wished that too, and still do in some ways and on some days. Mostly when I have to fight all day replacing the image of his face in my mind with absolutely anything else. I know it will get easier for you, and for anyone that's experienced it. The fact that these two souls have met signifies awakening and spiritual growth. Really, in experiencing those growing pains we become more accepting, more peaceful within. It does seem to help having that sense of knowing that at some point we will see them again and maybe the next time both will be ready.
I don't know really how else to think about it...

It's a bit long but I'd be really interested to know what you ladies have to say to this writer's approach to what it means to find your soul mate.

His opinion seems a bit too idealistic, I mean he says there's absolutely NO arguing in a soul mate relationship...

http://www.expansionmastery.com/blog/487/

Posted by backtokemet

Posted by FixedWater
I hear you there... I wished that too, and still do in some ways and on some days. Mostly when I have to fight all day replacing the image of his face in my mind with absolutely anything else. I know it will get easier for you, and for anyone that's experienced it. The fact that these two souls have met signifies awakening and spiritual growth. Really, in experiencing those growing pains we become more accepting, more peaceful within. It does seem to help having that sense of knowing that at some point we will see them again and maybe the next time both will be ready.
I don't know really how else to think about it...

you do have a point, the 'inner drama' is nowhere as bad as it used to be .. it took me 4+ years but I've finally embraced the idea of not settling down w/ her in this lifetime .. we didn't have sex and her being a troubled soul (

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I was the same in that I had started to awaken already before I met him. I do not know if we would be able to recognize our twin if we hadn't started awakening already. Yes, I understand feeling as though everything is off. Feeling as if all the progress I had made was for not... that I had took more than a few steps back and that upset me a great deal. I couldn't allow it and so took positive action to balance my flow and bring my vibrations up. Self love is very hard for me, and this took a great deal of concentration and convincing. Really though, if we do not love ourselves there isn't any way we can love another. So if you can, take time to have a healing and restore balance and flow in your energy. I am not sure where you're at in your self-discovery stages but I know I had to look deeper after the relationship ended.

Posted by malloryor
It's a bit long but I'd be really interested to know what you ladies have to say to this writer's approach to what it means to find your soul mate.

His opinion seems a bit too idealistic, I mean he says there's absolutely NO arguing in a soul mate relationship...

http://www.expansionmastery.com/blog/487/

This article seems to describe perfection. I think, from my standpoint today, that there isn't perfection only different levels of imperfection. He seems to blur the lines between soul mate and twin flame as I understand them. He combines them whereas I believe we have many soul mates but only one true twin flame. It is almost as if they skipped over the coming together process which is painful and is meant to open each up to all that holds them back. Maybe they met for the first time having both been ready and did not have to go through those painful bits most Twin Flames do? It is the first article I have ever read about Twin Flame Relationships that did not describe the difficulties of coming together as well as the bliss once the two have recognized and opened up to each other.

Just for the record, I do seriously question if Scorp is my Twin Flame. For one thing, any relationship that hits the skids could then defined as a Twin Flame relationship. This is a slippery slope and one I would consider very carefully.
A few examples as to why I believe he is "special" and not some random connection:
*I asked the Universe for him/he asked the Universe for me
*We were both somewhat spiritually awakened
*Our meeting was unexpected (in other words we asked but we didn't think you'd actually grant it)
*We have lived parallel lives in ways that gave us a clear understanding of each others broken bits
*We have similar features, he could be my brother
*We have similar injuries
*We made a list of what we have the same/in common and it was over 70 points
*We were both in transition physically(the same month last fall)as well as mentally and spiritually
*The signs and syncronicities are too many to mention but a few examples would be:
That we both signed our new lease this spring on the same day, at the same time.
We also both moved on the same weekend which was the third weekend of the month even though moving normally takes place at the beginning.
We both wiped out on ice, fell, and injured the same hip at roughly the same time of the day. The secondary injury being the same he finally had no choice but to spit out what had happened the day before even though he wanted to keep it from me.
My apt number is 202 and the last morning I saw him his work decided to move him to room 202. He got that text while standing at my front door and I remember the look on his face when he told me.
That's just a few things that I can recall easily and I still question if he is my Twin Flame. He could be what they call a "False Twin", he could be a Karmic Soul mate, he could be a soul mate that is opening my eyes wide and enabling me to see clearly exactly what I want, what I am ready for.
This is ultimately why I simplified it to this: We are talking about unconditional love, and if he loves me unconditionally and we are meant to be together then that love will find its way. It will see through all the games, hurt and heartache. I will not be bothered by who did what and forgiveness will come full and pure. In the meantime I will love me and in doing so my twin will benefit.

Posted by VenusStar
our comfort zone. I found the below quote today... has this happened for you?

—A true soul mate is probably the most important person you??ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mate's purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, and make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life.?? ~Elizabeth Gilbert

Is that from Eat Pray Love?