STANDARDS
This topic was created in the Relationships forum by Lady_M on Tuesday, December 18, 2007 and has 21 replies.
I stole my own post, from another board...
This brings to a recent conversation I had with my twin DK (Why cant we be like the animals). I was watching Planet Earth the other night on the Discovery channel. It showed the birds of paradise and countless other animals. If you saw how hard the males were working to catch the attention of the women....it got me thinking.
The narrator said, "Millions of years of CHOOSY women, led to the evolution of the elaborate males"
What the hell happened to the human species....in particular the women??
This brings to a recent conversation I had with my twin DK (Why cant we be like the animals). I was watching Planet Earth the other night on the Discovery channel. It showed the birds of paradise and countless other animals. If you saw how hard the males were working to catch the attention of the women....it got me thinking.
The narrator said, "Millions of years of CHOOSY women, led to the evolution of the elaborate males"
What the hell happened to the human species....in particular the women??
MercInAries: "there is even a specie of primate that mate with everyone in the group..."
Monkey Business
The Bonobo (Pan paniscus), until recently usually called the Pygmy Chimpanzee (and less often the Dwarf or Gracile Chimpanzee), is one of the two species making up the chimpanzee genus, Pan.
Sexual intercourse plays a major role in Bonobo society, being used as a greeting, a means of conflict resolution and post-conflict reconciliation, and as favors traded by the females in exchange for food. Bonobos are the only non-human apes to have been observed engaging in all of the following sexual activities: face-to-face genital sex (most frequently female-female, then male-female and male-male), tongue kissing, and oral sex. In scientific literature, the female-female sex is often referred to as GG rubbing or genital-genital rubbing, while male-male sex is sometimes referred to as penis fencing.
Bonobos do not form permanent relationships with individual partners. They also do not seem to discriminate in their sexual behavior by gender or age, with the possible exception of sexual intercourse between mothers and their adult sons; some observers believe these pairings are taboo. When Bonobos come upon a new food source or feeding ground, the increased excitement will usually lead to communal sexual activity, presumably decreasing tension and allowing for peaceful feeding.
Females are somewhat smaller than males but can be considered to have a higher social status. Strong female bonding allows groups of female Bonobos to dominate the community. Aggressive encounters between males and females are rare, and males are tolerant of infants and juveniles. The male's status reflects the status of his mother, and the son-mother bond often stays strong and continues throughout life. While social hierarchies do exist, rank does not play as prominent a role as it does in other primate societies.
[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bonobo]
don't worry, my standards are so high it makes up for everyone else 
"don't worry, my standards are so high it makes up for everyone else "
just like my soul mate would say....awww
you are a scorpio dog,....right?
just like my soul mate would say....awww
you are a scorpio dog,....right?
*takes a bow*
It's great to have high standards, but then again, there are alot of 'lonely' people with 'real high standards'..lol ..most likely in reality that most people can't live up to, anyway.
I think most men are think that women are self sufficient enough to handle their own problems thus rendering us males of the species almost obsolete. Other than needing our seed to procreate and prolong our species' existence, women really don't need us anymore. With some guys when they see a woman who's got her life straight and is doing everything she is capable of doing they feel emasculated to a point. It's more evident in today's day and age because if a woman wants to get her car fixed she'll call a mechanic or if there's a clog in her kitchen sink she'll call a plumber. Not only because she has the power and money but now she has the opportunity to do so more than ever. Whereas way back when most men took it upon themselves to fix these everyday problems giving them a sense of duty and they felt needed.
Most men try to hold on to old ideals but really what we should be doing is promoting a society where we see each other as equals and allow for each other to do the little things. This is probably why I stick to fixing cars, building my own furniture and fixing things around the house. I have that fear of not being needed. My thought process is "Sure she might WANT me to be here but does she actually NEED me?" A lot of men think like this and you'd be surprised. Not all do but on the most part a lot of us do and I'll admit to this.
Let me re-itirate one more time though that I know nothing though.
Most men try to hold on to old ideals but really what we should be doing is promoting a society where we see each other as equals and allow for each other to do the little things. This is probably why I stick to fixing cars, building my own furniture and fixing things around the house. I have that fear of not being needed. My thought process is "Sure she might WANT me to be here but does she actually NEED me?" A lot of men think like this and you'd be surprised. Not all do but on the most part a lot of us do and I'll admit to this.
Let me re-itirate one more time though that I know nothing though.
jrussou: "The evolution has occurred to some extent in humans ... that's why I've said before, "If pussy weren't so god-damned expensive, we'd all still be living in caves.""
So... with feminism equalizing the sexes, and women giving it up for free, are we de-volving??
I heart my twin
precisely DY.
precisely DY.
lol
Aww shucks
if we could all learn to oblige the bad character traits that were meant for us
not in a passive and neglectful way
but a way to acknowledge them as the pair of good and bad ones that are perfect one's for us
Ex.
I know my ideal would be too honest for comfort
if we could all learn to oblige the bad character traits that were meant for us
not in a passive and neglectful way
but a way to acknowledge them as the pair of good and bad ones that are perfect one's for us
Ex.
I know my ideal would be too honest for comfort
after all,
you take the good with the bad, or nothing at all
right?
you take the good with the bad, or nothing at all
right?
MIA: "first, I have to find out what is my league."
I thought my Scorp was out of my league - too young, too pretty, too popular, and too sexy (uh, and too blond!) - for once, I was glad to be wrong.
jrussou,
Not to be a wet blanket, but I am a Virgo, and IMHO, we are de-volving. We've traded expediency for intimacy, and multiple orgasms for love, and we're one of the most screwed-up generations in the history of Western Civilization - we want (and expect) it all, and we want it now, and we don't even realize when we've already got it...
As for Standards: Anyone who considers these anorexic Paris Hilton diphs1t clueless tards as the epitome of sexiness and desirability should have their prefrontal lobotomies made permanent, because they're obviously not using any of that gray matter!
And on that note: Y'all have a Merry Christmas!!
"In My Honest Opinion"
Sooo, is that why you dont like/date blonde's DY...because you figured they were out of your league??
Sooo, is that why you dont like/date blonde's DY...because you figured they were out of your league??
"So... with feminism equalizing the sexes, and women giving it up for free, are we de-volving??"
i think "Pride" equals the sexes. Women can still be feminine, yet independant and prideful like any guy, and still appreciate the little things done for her, as well.
Then again, why should there even be an equaling; i already thought we were equal. You don't have to be a feminist to be equal, you are anyway..lol
i think "Pride" equals the sexes. Women can still be feminine, yet independant and prideful like any guy, and still appreciate the little things done for her, as well.
Then again, why should there even be an equaling; i already thought we were equal. You don't have to be a feminist to be equal, you are anyway..lol
DK09- I like what you said. I am going to speak as 'an successful female who does not need a man'- for me- money only pays the bills- I LOVE a man who works on cars, etc. who likes looking and acting like a man. I get more out of you acting like you- dont forget where you came from either. It makes you special. I personally get tired of seeing some who try to keep up with the Jones'- I like dirt bike riding, sports,
-forget the hairgel and primping. Let's have fun. Forget the money, be yourself and yes lets have fun!!
-forget the hairgel and primping. Let's have fun. Forget the money, be yourself and yes lets have fun!!
Im a little with Sag on this one. Most of the guys that are "doing what it takes" to attract a woman arent really doing the things Im interested in. Im more interested in a guy being himself rather than one doing the same inbred "dance" thats been passed on through the species to attract a female. Im the chic in Happy Feet, except I would have gladly taken the oddball no questions asked. There is no problem at all with having standards and with that part I agree with LadyM, but standards are personal so I dont think its beneficial to think that all men should do the same "dance" to attract women, cuz unlike birds we all have very unique personalities. And come on women...she has a point...if we really harnessed this power we hold (after all women are God's gift to men)then we might be able to make them step it up a few notches. Unfortunately as a black woman ratios pretty much take the power itself down a couple notches.
And why cant a woman fix her own car or unclog her own sink. Im the type of woman that can do those things, and I gladly will for a man that will do the dishes and cook the dinner. I think people should get unstuck from all these perceived roles and learn how to be themselves within relationships....think about it, when you're you and he is him and you go together its honest and its real, and that's what lasts. Putting on the latest trends and acting in prescribed roles gets old. Some of my favorite old married couples were a bit unconventional to the world, but to them they were always "just who we are".
And why cant a woman fix her own car or unclog her own sink. Im the type of woman that can do those things, and I gladly will for a man that will do the dishes and cook the dinner. I think people should get unstuck from all these perceived roles and learn how to be themselves within relationships....think about it, when you're you and he is him and you go together its honest and its real, and that's what lasts. Putting on the latest trends and acting in prescribed roles gets old. Some of my favorite old married couples were a bit unconventional to the world, but to them they were always "just who we are".
The birds were VERY unique to one another (I shall find a pic, its a very interesting show). If that particular male bird didnt have what that female was interested in/looking for she would move on. Im sure that male bird was disappointed, but Im also sure he didnt die a lonely life...someone else was attracted to whatever he was offering.
My point is not the 'dance' itself (i.e. pick-up lines)...thats just a metaphor. Its about the individual and what type of person they are.
The word STANDARD means...the essentials; what should come in the package from the get go. Unfortunately not everyone seeks the essentials.
I tend to like premium packages
My point is not the 'dance' itself (i.e. pick-up lines)...thats just a metaphor. Its about the individual and what type of person they are.
The word STANDARD means...the essentials; what should come in the package from the get go. Unfortunately not everyone seeks the essentials.
I tend to like premium packages
Part of my point was that ones idea of "premium" can be vastly different from another's idea. To say that women everywhere arent already going for what they would describe as a premium package is to say that unless someone wants what you want they are settling for less. You can only speak for you as far as settling goes. For me settling would lie somewhere in accepting a man that doesnt read extensively, whereas another female might not care one way or another what the man has or hasnt read so long as he works a job that gets her in the limelight.
I think woman's move to independence, like mentioned before, didnt only change "standards", but it changed her whole need for a man. In Old School african american neighborhoods the message was "get a man the best way you know how, any woman that is a woman has a man", which mean steal, borrow and share in some cases. Some women still have this philosophy in my community and that to me, is sad. Im very into traditional homes myself, but if I was unable to create that environment I would opt out of having a man all together, no stealing, borrowing or sharing. I do have primal expectations for my man (provision, protection, ect) although it come with wanting someone who is "made for me"(not just a list of checked boxes I want him to have a wonderful personality), by the same token I aspire to be a homemaker in my own right. Until then I mostly look at how I can improve myself as both an independent woman and a future wife and mother.
People might not have "evolved" but we've been influenced by the changing values around us and these changing values have changed the big picture of relationships and with that being changed the way we go about getting and maintaining relationships has changed.
People might not have "evolved" but we've been influenced by the changing values around us and these changing values have changed the big picture of relationships and with that being changed the way we go about getting and maintaining relationships has changed.
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