"Thank You"
This topic was created in the Relationships forum by WateryVirgo on Monday, May 16, 2016 and has 52 replies.
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Has your partner ever told you Thank You during or after sex? If so, how did you take it? How did it make you feel?
Thinking back, I remember times when he said "Thank You" or "Thank you for that" :-/. I took it as him meaning "Thank you for your services", as if the intimacy wasn't a mutually beneficial act between two people who have a special connection to each other. Like he wasn't as emotionally connected to me as I was to him?
idk...
Thinking back, I remember times when he said "Thank You" or "Thank you for that" :-/. I took it as him meaning "Thank you for your services", as if the intimacy wasn't a mutually beneficial act between two people who have a special connection to each other. Like he wasn't as emotionally connected to me as I was to him?
idk...
Posted by xXxAliciaXxX
No.
Unless eating me out afterwards counts as a "thank you".
RIght lol
Yes, after, not during. And I would say the same back, or initiate it. Just one person I was involved with who did that, but it was really nice, very gracious, said with genuine appreciation.
Posted by starwars
any time
Yah, I guess if I were a guy, I'd probably wink with my chest puffed out. lol
Am I being too sensitive and overanalyzing with this?! :-/
Posted by CopperDove
Yes, after, not during. And I would say the same back, or initiate it. Just one person I was involved with who did that, but it was really nice, very gracious, said with genuine appreciation.
But if it was mutually beneficial and we share a connection, why would it even be necessary, ya know?
My mars in virgo would feel honored.
I used to tell my ol sag thank you all the time. The release he would give me was beyond gratitude.
I used to tell my ol sag thank you all the time. The release he would give me was beyond gratitude.
Posted by starwarsPosted by WateryVirgoPosted by starwars
any time
Yah, I guess if I were a guy, I'd probably wink with my chest puffed out. lol
Am I being too sensitive and overanalyzing with this?! :-/
i think youre overthinking it fellow virgoclick to expand
You could be right. But I figured that with my Pisces moon and his Scorpio moon, both intuitive, it wouldn't need to be said.
idk. Maybe I need to just chill out. lol
Hahaah I remember reading awkward things people said after sex and this one stood me by..
It never happened to me but I can just feel the awkwardness already
It never happened to me but I can just feel the awkwardness already
Posted by tiziani
Why do Virgos love abuse?
Well, we need to keep our minds occupied with something! lol Like "what did I miss", "what could I do better", "what did he mean?", etc
Posted by ElleDuMonde
Yes and I was offended.
Not many things offend me in the bedroom but that does.
Right! Like "Thank you for your services. You can go now. The money's on the tables on your way out" lol
Yes.
And a firm handshake.
And a firm handshake.
Posted by ElleDuMonde
It felt degrading.....like I wasn't really in the room....I was irrelevant.
Exactly
Posted by Quantum
Yes.
And a firm handshake.
That's terrible! lol
Posted by WateryVirgoPosted by CopperDove
Yes, after, not during. And I would say the same back, or initiate it. Just one person I was involved with who did that, but it was really nice, very gracious, said with genuine appreciation.
But if it was mutually beneficial and we share a connection, why would it even be necessary, ya know?click to expand
It's gracious and can show nothing is being taken for granted. I imagine some people might not mean it that way, but that's what it was like for me. It's a way of showing appreciation.
Posted by ElleDuMonde
It also felt like I was being used for the experience.
+1
Posted by WateryVirgoPosted by Quantum
Yes.
And a firm handshake.
That's terrible! lolclick to expand
It's an earth rising connection thing you wouldn't understand
Posted by CopperDovePosted by WateryVirgoPosted by CopperDove
Yes, after, not during. And I would say the same back, or initiate it. Just one person I was involved with who did that, but it was really nice, very gracious, said with genuine appreciation.
But if it was mutually beneficial and we share a connection, why would it even be necessary, ya know?
..........................................
It think it's gracious and can show nothing is being taken for granted. I can't speak for everyone who might say it, but that's what it was like for me. It's a way of showing appreciation. And I go all out during such experiences - I don't just lie there, lol, so it's appreciation for the effort I put into everything, including what I wear.click to expand
Posted by whatthecrabPosted by ElleDuMonde
Yes and I was offended.
Not many things offend me in the bedroom but that does.
This.
I'd feel like an object or someone who did them a service.click to expand
+1
What is the mood like?
Because I see nothing but sexy opportunity or opportunity for sexiness.
Because I see nothing but sexy opportunity or opportunity for sexiness.
Posted by CopperDovePosted by WateryVirgoPosted by CopperDove
Yes, after, not during. And I would say the same back, or initiate it. Just one person I was involved with who did that, but it was really nice, very gracious, said with genuine appreciation.
But if it was mutually beneficial and we share a connection, why would it even be necessary, ya know?
It's gracious and can show nothing is being taken for granted. I imagine some people might not mean it that way, but that's what it was like for me. It's a way of showing appreciation.
click to expand
Noted.
Posted by tizianiPosted by CopperDove
Yes, after, not during. And I would say the same back, or initiate it. Just one person I was involved with who did that, but it was really nice, very gracious, said with genuine appreciation.
LOL @ during
click to expand
lol, yes, that might be a little weird depending on the context, but there are certain contexts that it works well in, as part of the fun and appreciation - another way of saying, "that feels good" in the moment, for example. I have a lot of 7th house stuff going on, and Mars in Libra, so I can find that kind of thing particularly appealing.
Posted by Katana
Yeah during and after.
I've said it as well, half joking, half serious. It was said because it was felt and it was genuine. There's nothing else to it. I don't see how that could offend anyone when taken in the literal sense without overthinking it. I think it actually adds to the intimacy of the moment and it makes it that more special, especially when it's done during. It's a big turn on actually.
100% agree.
Posted by ImTheRam
So you are a woman...
You planed all of these something/wathever for a special ocasion...
That took you time..effort and consideration to please your man...
If he saw all of that..and at the end he says "thank you" and stays with you...you are being used?!
Seriously..help me figure these one out.
That's exactly it, context and timing is everything. But that hasn't been clarified yet.
I can't imagine myself being offended if my BF were to say that to me. He would either say it with a smirk and mischievous sparkle in his eyes, or say it with warmth and emotion...I would either be delighted and feign indignance so that I could smother him with a pillow, or I would be delighted and feel weak.
Posted by LillyPetal
What is the mood like?
Because I see nothing but sexy opportunity or opportunity for sexiness.
The time that stood out to me was afterwards and I was getting ready to leave. It wasn't the sexist mood at that point (not from my perspective), more like I've got to go, I will talk to you later and he said it on my way out.
Posted by ImTheRam
So you are a woman...
You planed all of these something/wathever for a special ocasion...
That took you time..effort and consideration to please your man...
If he saw all of that..and at the end he says "thank you" and stays with you...you are being used?!
Seriously..help me figure these one out.
I didn't do anything special for the occasion. It's feeling used in a sense that it's not a personable statement; it's more like you did this to relieve me and now I'm satisfied; I was an object t there to quench your thirst or something. Seems selfish.
If he said it during sex that means he's capable of coherent speech which is the last thing I'd want to see/hear so...huge slight.
Joking aside...I really try not to read into things.
I did hear it afterwards but it was more in a pensive way...like "thank you for being in my life".
Joking aside...I really try not to read into things.
I did hear it afterwards but it was more in a pensive way...like "thank you for being in my life".
Posted by Pisco
I just say "right back atcha!" Then slap em on the ass. You won't get a "thank you" after that
Noted lol
Posted by Damnata
If he said it during sex that means he's capable of coherent speech which is the last thing I'd want to see/hear so...huge slight.
Joking aside...I really try not to read into things.
I did hear it afterwards but it was more in a pensive way...like "thank you for being in my life".
Hmmm, never thought of it that way. He did say it on my way out.
Posted by tiziani
This "during" this raises the stakes.
I have no idea how anyone would pull that off but it almost seems like a new challenge.
Give it a run.
Usually when I've done it there's a playful context - I'm aware it isn't the norm to say such things during, and I'll laugh a little after, and so will my partner, and then on we go.Posted by Katana
Yeah during and after.
I've said it as well, half joking, half serious. It was said because it was felt and it was genuine. There's nothing else to it. I don't see how that could offend anyone when taken in the literal sense without overthinking it. I think it actually adds to the intimacy of the moment and it makes it that more special, especially when it's done during. It's a big turn on actually.
I'm generally intuitive and he seemed to be too. So, I'm thinking along the lines of there are things that really don't have to be said. But I guess it's a matter of perspective.
Posted by WateryVirgo
Has your partner ever told you Thank You during or after sex? If so, how did you take it? How did it make you feel?
Thinking back, I remember times when he said "Thank You" or "Thank you for that" :-/. I took it as him meaning "Thank you for your services", as if the intimacy wasn't a mutually beneficial act between two people who have a special connection to each other. Like he wasn't as emotionally connected to me as I was to him?
idk...
My partner said it to me and I thought it was hot, but maybe I'm just easy to please.......
Posted by WateryVirgoPosted by Damnata
If he said it during sex that means he's capable of coherent speech which is the last thing I'd want to see/hear so...huge slight.
Joking aside...I really try not to read into things.
I did hear it afterwards but it was more in a pensive way...like "thank you for being in my life".
Hmmm, never thought of it that way. He did say it on my way out.click to expand
I mean ..unless we were agreeing on some fantasy of me being a prostitute and he'd say "Thank you" followed up by giving me money...then I don't get why the objectifying part is the first thing your mind runs to.
What did you feel in the moment? Forget about what you thought...was it warm and fuzzy? Did you feel appreciation in his comment?
If so
stop overthinking
else
inquire/plague your mind with questions
You said "like he wasn't as emotionally connected with me as I was with him". Thing is..if you were emotionally connected you wouldn't need to ask what he meant.
Tbh to me it sounds like Virgo insecurity and projection of said insecurity.
Posted by WateryVirgoPosted by LillyPetal
What is the mood like?
Because I see nothing but sexy opportunity or opportunity for sexiness.
The time that stood out to me was afterwards and I was getting ready to leave. It wasn't the sexist mood at that point (not from my perspective), more like I've got to go, I will talk to you later and he said it on my way out.click to expand
Ah, that does seem icky.
You know how one guy can do something and come off obnoxious, making you want to drop kick him in the face, and another guy can do the exact same thing and come off as charming?
I think this comes down to the dynamic between the man and the woman and the already established relationship and trust between them.
Was this man someone you were in a relationship with? Beneath everything, how did you truly feel about him at the time?
Posted by DamnataPosted by WateryVirgoPosted by Damnata
If he said it during sex that means he's capable of coherent speech which is the last thing I'd want to see/hear so...huge slight.
Joking aside...I really try not to read into things.
I did hear it afterwards but it was more in a pensive way...like "thank you for being in my life".
Hmmm, never thought of it that way. He did say it on my way out.
I mean ..unless we were agreeing on some fantasy of me being a prostitute and he'd say "Thank you" followed up by giving me money...then I don't get why the objectifying part is the first thing your mind runs to.
What did you feel in the moment? Forget about what you thought...was it warm and fuzzy? Did you feel appreciation in his comment?
If so
stop overthinking
else
inquire/plague your mind with questions
You said "like he wasn't as emotionally connected with me as I was with him". Thing is..if you were emotionally connected you wouldn't need to ask what he meant.
Tbh to me it sounds like Virgo insecurity and projection of said insecurity.click to expand
*throws a wad of cash at you*
Posted by DamnataPosted by WateryVirgoPosted by Damnata
If he said it during sex that means he's capable of coherent speech which is the last thing I'd want to see/hear so...huge slight.
Joking aside...I really try not to read into things.
I did hear it afterwards but it was more in a pensive way...like "thank you for being in my life".
Hmmm, never thought of it that way. He did say it on my way out.
I mean ..unless we were agreeing on some fantasy of me being a prostitute and he'd say "Thank you" followed up by giving me money...then I don't get why the objectifying part is the first thing your mind runs to.
What did you feel in the moment? Forget about what you thought...was it warm and fuzzy? Did you feel appreciation in his comment?
If so
stop overthinking
else
inquire/plague your mind with questions
You said "like he wasn't as emotionally connected with me as I was with him". Thing is..if you were emotionally connected you wouldn't need to ask what he meant.
Tbh to me it sounds like Virgo insecurity and projection of said insecurity.click to expand
In that moment, I felt shocked, then used and objectified because I felt that it was something that we shared...not something that was exclusively beneficial to him.
I'm intuitive and he is too. There had been some occasions where we shared intimate (non-sexual) moments and we looked into each other's eyes and we basked in the moment and nothing needed to be said. I must admit that I was a little insecure in the relationship, so it could have been projection too.
Posted by Vixen2
I'm not sure how I would take that...
It's kind of odd...it could be a cultural deal
But sex is like a reciprocal deal...no need to verbalize it, just show me....
Right, I'm Canadian, therefore polite like all Canadians
so that must be why it's fine with me. 
OP, if you're getting a bad feeling based on how it came across to you, then that is important and should be looked into, because if the guy in fact doesn't feel connected to you and isn't using it like I have used it, that isn't positive like it would be in the cases I cited about myself.
Posted by QuantumPosted by DamnataPosted by WateryVirgoPosted by Damnata
If he said it during sex that means he's capable of coherent speech which is the last thing I'd want to see/hear so...huge slight.
Joking aside...I really try not to read into things.
I did hear it afterwards but it was more in a pensive way...like "thank you for being in my life".
Hmmm, never thought of it that way. He did say it on my way out.
I mean ..unless we were agreeing on some fantasy of me being a prostitute and he'd say "Thank you" followed up by giving me money...then I don't get why the objectifying part is the first thing your mind runs to.
What did you feel in the moment? Forget about what you thought...was it warm and fuzzy? Did you feel appreciation in his comment?
If so
stop overthinking
else
inquire/plague your mind with questions
You said "like he wasn't as emotionally connected with me as I was with him". Thing is..if you were emotionally connected you wouldn't need to ask what he meant.
Tbh to me it sounds like Virgo insecurity and projection of said insecurity.
*throws a wad of cash at you*click to expand
Thank you!
(pls untie me)
Posted by LillyPetalPosted by WateryVirgoPosted by LillyPetal
What is the mood like?
Because I see nothing but sexy opportunity or opportunity for sexiness.
The time that stood out to me was afterwards and I was getting ready to leave. It wasn't the sexist mood at that point (not from my perspective), more like I've got to go, I will talk to you later and he said it on my way out.
Ah, that does seem icky.
You know how one guy can do something and come off obnoxious, making you want to drop kick him in the face, and another guy can do the exact same thing and come off as charming?
I think this comes down to the dynamic between the man and the woman and the already established relationship and trust between them.
Was this man someone you were in a relationship with? Beneath everything, how did you truly feel about him at the time?click to expand
We were in a relationship. At the time, I had just gotten over some insecurities and felt good that we were progressing as a couple and he was opening up more.
And then...."THANK YOU" lmao
Posted by DamnataPosted by QuantumPosted by DamnataPosted by WateryVirgoPosted by Damnata
If he said it during sex that means he's capable of coherent speech which is the last thing I'd want to see/hear so...huge slight.
Joking aside...I really try not to read into things.
I did hear it afterwards but it was more in a pensive way...like "thank you for being in my life".
Hmmm, never thought of it that way. He did say it on my way out.
I mean ..unless we were agreeing on some fantasy of me being a prostitute and he'd say "Thank you" followed up by giving me money...then I don't get why the objectifying part is the first thing your mind runs to.
What did you feel in the moment? Forget about what you thought...was it warm and fuzzy? Did you feel appreciation in his comment?
If so
stop overthinking
else
inquire/plague your mind with questions
You said "like he wasn't as emotionally connected with me as I was with him". Thing is..if you were emotionally connected you wouldn't need to ask what he meant.
Tbh to me it sounds like Virgo insecurity and projection of said insecurity.
*throws a wad of cash at you*
Thank you!
(pls untie me)click to expand
Posted by Ixion120
Really OP this is one of those things where if it bothers you seriously does...and this **isn't** you just making conversation then the first stop for problem solving issues in the bedroom should be with your intimate partner. If you have had the conversation then what have they said?
He couldn't really explain why he said it.
Posted by Ixion120Posted by WateryVirgoPosted by Ixion120
Really OP this is one of those things where if it bothers you seriously does...and this **isn't** you just making conversation then the first stop for problem solving issues in the bedroom should be with your intimate partner. If you have had the conversation then what have they said?
He couldn't really explain why he said it.
Hrm...what were his words along the lines of?click to expand
I said something along the lines of, in a joking manner, "Thank you?! What am I here to grant you services? I enjoyed it, you enjoyed it". And he was like, "I don't know. I just said it. Stop with all of that".
Posted by KatanaPosted by WateryVirgoPosted by Katana
Yeah during and after.
I've said it as well, half joking, half serious. It was said because it was felt and it was genuine. There's nothing else to it. I don't see how that could offend anyone when taken in the literal sense without overthinking it. I think it actually adds to the intimacy of the moment and it makes it that more special, especially when it's done during. It's a big turn on actually.
I'm generally intuitive and he seemed to be too. So, I'm thinking along the lines of there are things that really don't have to be said. But I guess it's a matter of perspective.
I don't think it has anything to do with intuition and saying things that should already be known.
I think it's just about verbally expressing your gratitude to that person whether they know you feel it or not. Just because you're having sex with someone you like/love doesn't mean you enjoyed it every time, so that extra verbal acknowledgement or confirmation can be nice. Just like when you love someone, you show them but, some people also really need you to say it instead of just showing them in practical or physical ways. I think over thinking it really ruins it and is more often than not just a projection of one's own insecurities or preconceived notions as "thank you" really is as straightforward as it gets.
If you've thought about why you don't like it and it still makes sense to you not to like it then that's just your personal preference and that's it. You shouldn't assume it means what you think it means without asking him first though, especially if it bothered you.
click to expand
True. But he really didn't explain what he meant.
Posted by xXxAliciaXxX
No.
Unless eating me out afterwards counts as a "thank you".
Agreed
Posted by Ixion120Posted by WateryVirgoPosted by KatanaPosted by WateryVirgoPosted by Katana
Yeah during and after.
I've said it as well, half joking, half serious. It was said because it was felt and it was genuine. There's nothing else to it. I don't see how that could offend anyone when taken in the literal sense without overthinking it. I think it actually adds to the intimacy of the moment and it makes it that more special, especially when it's done during. It's a big turn on actually.
I'm generally intuitive and he seemed to be too. So, I'm thinking along the lines of there are things that really don't have to be said. But I guess it's a matter of perspective.
I don't think it has anything to do with intuition and saying things that should already be known.
I think it's just about verbally expressing your gratitude to that person whether they know you feel it or not. Just because you're having sex with someone you like/love doesn't mean you enjoyed it every time, so that extra verbal acknowledgement or confirmation can be nice. Just like when you love someone, you show them but, some people also really need you to say it instead of just showing them in practical or physical ways. I think over thinking it really ruins it and is more often than not just a projection of one's own insecurities or preconceived notions as "thank you" really is as straightforward as it gets.
If you've thought about why you don't like it and it still makes sense to you not to like it then that's just your personal preference and that's it. You shouldn't assume it means what you think it means without asking him first though, especially if it bothered you.
True. But he really didn't explain what he meant.
Well you asked and he gave a reason...do you not believe his reason???click to expand
His initial reason being "I don't know"?
Maybe I should have asked again later to get his explanation after he processed things.
I've learned a lot from this thread.
Things are just a matter of perspective. When confusion occurs, discussion is needed though.
Thanks everyone!
Hmm.. Maybe he was just verbalizing his feeling?
Not everyone is alike =D
Just hug him and say why are you thanking me.
End of story or even better, if he's your lover give him a small slap across his face "why thanks 
" ...tehehehe
I agree with starwars on page 1. Nothing to feel bad or anything about IMO.
Not everyone is alike =D
Just hug him and say why are you thanking me.
End of story
or even better, if he's your lover give him a small slap across his face "why thanks " ...tehehehe I agree with starwars on page 1. Nothing to feel bad or anything about
IMO.
Interestingly enough my Scorp said that to me. It was after, and I was still coming out of it, so I was like.."Huh? For what?" He said for being wonderful.
Posted by Geminiam
No, just no. If my guy said "thank you" after sex he would get the look of death...because he would have my hands around his throat.
lol!
Posted by WateryVirgo
Has your partner ever told you Thank You during or after sex? If so, how did you take it? How did it make you feel?
Sure, why not. Always is good to be thanked, especially when it comes to satisfying your man.
This past weekend we perfected shower sex (its harder than you think to fuck standing up when your almost the same height) and we both gave each other this look and then high fived right after. GO TEAM!!
Posted by WateryVirgo
Has your partner ever told you Thank You during or after sex? If so, how did you take it? How did it make you feel?
Thinking back, I remember times when he said "Thank You" or "Thank you for that" :-/. I took it as him meaning "Thank you for your services", as if the intimacy wasn't a mutually beneficial act between two people who have a special connection to each other. Like he wasn't as emotionally connected to me as I was to him?
idk...
Ah, I'm late to the party, but I'll chime in anyway. I don't see it as an offensive thing. Of course depends on the tone.
The intimacy probably was of mutual benefit. You're not in the other person's head. In that moment you could just be helping someone bust a nut after a stressful day or you could have made them feel so connected to another person. It will never be the same as what you needed or felt. In know there have been times when my partner wants to "connect" and I just want to f*ck to relieve stress. In that moment I want to thank him (although I don't), because yes he's helping me. Helping me in a way that only he could be entrusted to do and I truly appreciate it. In essence I am saying thank you for being exactly what I need and desire. That's not belittling. Not imo.
Posted by ElleDuMonde
To me, it sounds like she doesn't like it and there shouldn't be anything wrong with that.
I have done some very questionable things in the bedroom that would make some people blush and also have been preferred to be called some pretty filthy names....but *that* particular sentiment rubs me the wrong way.
I don't think she should be made to feel that she should question herself simply because she didn't like it.
I feel it's okay to not like some things and that is okay.
You're right, she shouldn't. However by virtue of making this thread she is questioning her own feelings on the matter.
If you don't feel the need to question how you feel you typically don't ask others to see how they feel in comparison.
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