the final question: is Love really the key?
This topic was created in the Relationships forum by DwellingOnMove on Tuesday, January 20, 2009 and has 17 replies.
after all drama we read in the internet boards, all cheating and flirts, all usage and abusage, all our stupid intense traits, assuming we get the result that we are object of the big social changes:
1. too many communication channels are available
2. too many entertainment
3. no restriction for sex
4. ethics and moral is not restricting (cause we discuss them away and there is little social pressure to make us ethic)
5. etc etc
can we now get relax and start loving them all? loving life? loving its risks and dangers? its games?
Or even in that case we stay in self protection mode? and hate/avoid/fight anybody who can provide us with drama?
1. too many communication channels are available
2. too many entertainment
3. no restriction for sex
4. ethics and moral is not restricting (cause we discuss them away and there is little social pressure to make us ethic)
5. etc etc
can we now get relax and start loving them all? loving life? loving its risks and dangers? its games?
Or even in that case we stay in self protection mode? and hate/avoid/fight anybody who can provide us with drama?
GB, I got you. this is right.
yet sometimes people write to Internet, I am going to date an Aries (just an example) today, are Aries and Pisces compatible, are Aries loyal?
why do they want to know it beforehand? cause they think they can control whether he is a good or a bad guy. what if the bad guys are the good ones at the same time?
yet sometimes people write to Internet, I am going to date an Aries (just an example) today, are Aries and Pisces compatible, are Aries loyal?
why do they want to know it beforehand? cause they think they can control whether he is a good or a bad guy. what if the bad guys are the good ones at the same time?
"married for 10 years, are we compatible?"
LOL
what i must do. All i gotta do is do it.
accepted. you are totaly right. [I enjoy talking to you]
Now do you think women can follow this rule (plus love instead of any other feeling) without going back to their frustrating role they had before the 60ies in the relationships?
LOL
what i must do. All i gotta do is do it.
accepted. you are totaly right. [I enjoy talking to you]
Now do you think women can follow this rule (plus love instead of any other feeling) without going back to their frustrating role they had before the 60ies in the relationships?
"these ppl lack communication with the person they are messing with"
I guess the problem is not communication. If a man has been falling in love with a another girl than his spouse, he is not willing to talk about the problem. He also does not know if the new one will stay in his life. This is why he gets cold and everybody has to wait for a few months until the outcome is clear.
as you stated, "pain and pleasure last but for a short while" and if he goes to the new one, two years later the ex has come over it.
My question is love can help you to go through bad times. Can she love him while he is involved with a new girl?
I guess the problem is not communication. If a man has been falling in love with a another girl than his spouse, he is not willing to talk about the problem. He also does not know if the new one will stay in his life. This is why he gets cold and everybody has to wait for a few months until the outcome is clear.
as you stated, "pain and pleasure last but for a short while" and if he goes to the new one, two years later the ex has come over it.
My question is love can help you to go through bad times. Can she love him while he is involved with a new girl?
If society doesn't restrict you, maybe you need to restrict yourself.
Look, some of us doesn't restrict themselves cause they think the unhappy one will forget it soon. wounds will cure so to speak
you need something you really desire...put your heart in... goal to follow through, ... your fighting spirit...born to follow our dream, or vision...this can indeed be Love.
ok, I am with you in that point. If love can give me more motivation than fear and self-protection, then I need to bow down. before love!
Look, some of us doesn't restrict themselves cause they think the unhappy one will forget it soon. wounds will cure so to speak
you need something you really desire...put your heart in... goal to follow through, ... your fighting spirit...born to follow our dream, or vision...this can indeed be Love.
ok, I am with you in that point. If love can give me more motivation than fear and self-protection, then I need to bow down. before love!
"the problem they have is settling on a man, who values clash with their own"
so one could say we got the freedom and are overusing it?
Or that we have unrealistic demands?
Or men and women are all full with a m?lange of the old and new values?
Or entertainment is hindering us from finding each other?
Or dating is crowded with vain and egoist people?
do you wanna say that you were always left by women you dated?
for how long were you last time in a relationship until you gave up?
so one could say we got the freedom and are overusing it?
Or that we have unrealistic demands?
Or men and women are all full with a m?lange of the old and new values?
Or entertainment is hindering us from finding each other?
Or dating is crowded with vain and egoist people?
do you wanna say that you were always left by women you dated?
for how long were you last time in a relationship until you gave up?
But why would you want to cause wounds in the first place?
DA,
nobody wants to hurt but sh. happens.
DA,
nobody wants to hurt but sh. happens.
I never gave up. And why should I've acted in such a way? After all, she was in my heart wherever I went to.
could it be that you actually are practicing what I am asking for?
is it possible for everybody to be like you? or those who are prone to revenge will never be able to act like you?
PS:
I must admit that I could not practice it the last weeks. Always I am full with the fear what people can do wrong to me instead of being open and do favors to them and me.
could it be that you actually are practicing what I am asking for?
is it possible for everybody to be like you? or those who are prone to revenge will never be able to act like you?
PS:
I must admit that I could not practice it the last weeks. Always I am full with the fear what people can do wrong to me instead of being open and do favors to them and me.
for GB:
Or men and women are all full with a mixture of the old and new values?
Or men and women are all full with a mixture of the old and new values?
"All other things, material comfort, power in society, are ancillary circumstances that usually improve as one achieves one's main goal."
very true. I have realized this many a time.
very true. I have realized this many a time.
On another board I read there is a speculation that "a defect mirror neuron system" can lead to things peopel do without knowing how it would hurt the others.
For example when a guy has a girl friend, creates an Internet profile somewhere and put picutes of his dick on that place or write mocking stuff about his girl. At the same time he is staying with her and she gets pragnant.
Once she finds out what he did, can she love him? after all he had no imagination of how hurting it could be? it was his mirror neuron system which needed to learn it.
There the other people say if she does a simiar thing to him, he will see how disgusting that is. Call it revenge call it giving him a lecture. The reality seems to be very colourful with idiotic stuff, isn't it?
For example when a guy has a girl friend, creates an Internet profile somewhere and put picutes of his dick on that place or write mocking stuff about his girl. At the same time he is staying with her and she gets pragnant.
Once she finds out what he did, can she love him? after all he had no imagination of how hurting it could be? it was his mirror neuron system which needed to learn it.
There the other people say if she does a simiar thing to him, he will see how disgusting that is. Call it revenge call it giving him a lecture. The reality seems to be very colourful with idiotic stuff, isn't it?
DA, many thanks for the info. I will pursue the subject on the internet.
its not just about love. its about respect too.
you can love someone becaues they give you what you
want..but that is not the same as loving someone and respecting them.
first you have to define what it is you think love means.
if i have sex with a guy and he keeps coming back around that isnt love. he loves
me because im giving him something he wants.
same thing with a man that cheats on his wife and she turns her head. he loves her because
she allows him to do what he wants but he doenst respect her.
love has to have that element with it or its not love. not a lasting fufilling kind.
if i had to choose between one or the other i would choose respect.
men say that women dont ask the right questions, therefore; they deserve to
be left in the dark? i disagree. you are not a teacher and its not your job to teach.
if you are a teacher...what is it that your are teaching? not everyone should teach
and if you do...be prepaird for how that student turns out. a little knowledge is
a dangerous thing and could come back to bite you on the ass. you are teaching cruelty
unkindness, deceitfulness, etc.
relationships that end, end because the people arent grwoing in same direction or one
is while the other is stuck. its being interdependent. both parites togther as a team moving in same direction, equally contributing and working for the marriage. its about making the union as good as you can. good communication and empathy and sex and relaxation and sharing each others hobbies or intrests etc. its not being dependent and its not independent. you have to keep moving on together. learning and enjoying
and keeping it intresting and sparking each others imaginations and lust for life.
if you wake up and think of them and a smile or you feel good having them in your iife...
they energize you and they are your rock and your safe haven-- whatever they give you but they
do it for you...then i say you are blessed. dont lose it. if you two are meant to be
togheter ...you will be and no one can keep you apart. there is one woman for one man.
thats the best way to be. that is where you will be satisfied and happiest.
you can love someone becaues they give you what you
want..but that is not the same as loving someone and respecting them.
first you have to define what it is you think love means.
if i have sex with a guy and he keeps coming back around that isnt love. he loves
me because im giving him something he wants.
same thing with a man that cheats on his wife and she turns her head. he loves her because
she allows him to do what he wants but he doenst respect her.
love has to have that element with it or its not love. not a lasting fufilling kind.
if i had to choose between one or the other i would choose respect.
men say that women dont ask the right questions, therefore; they deserve to
be left in the dark? i disagree. you are not a teacher and its not your job to teach.
if you are a teacher...what is it that your are teaching? not everyone should teach
and if you do...be prepaird for how that student turns out. a little knowledge is
a dangerous thing and could come back to bite you on the ass. you are teaching cruelty
unkindness, deceitfulness, etc.
relationships that end, end because the people arent grwoing in same direction or one
is while the other is stuck. its being interdependent. both parites togther as a team moving in same direction, equally contributing and working for the marriage. its about making the union as good as you can. good communication and empathy and sex and relaxation and sharing each others hobbies or intrests etc. its not being dependent and its not independent. you have to keep moving on together. learning and enjoying
and keeping it intresting and sparking each others imaginations and lust for life.
if you wake up and think of them and a smile or you feel good having them in your iife...
they energize you and they are your rock and your safe haven-- whatever they give you but they
do it for you...then i say you are blessed. dont lose it. if you two are meant to be
togheter ...you will be and no one can keep you apart. there is one woman for one man.
thats the best way to be. that is where you will be satisfied and happiest.
dwelling move on,
one word. bullshit. if he was slick enough to hide it then he knows it may hurt her.
otherwise why not share. sharing is caring. people remember that. if they dont share
than they are hiding stuff to keep from you. dwelling likes to talk about defective
neruons associated with lack of ability to empathy ...show us your statistical proof.
dont run something by us and not give us your sources. we expect the proof...the facts.
otherwise..i will stick to what the old folks know.
one word. bullshit. if he was slick enough to hide it then he knows it may hurt her.
otherwise why not share. sharing is caring. people remember that. if they dont share
than they are hiding stuff to keep from you. dwelling likes to talk about defective
neruons associated with lack of ability to empathy ...show us your statistical proof.
dont run something by us and not give us your sources. we expect the proof...the facts.
otherwise..i will stick to what the old folks know.
devective neurons/brain cell damage = lack of empathy? prove it.
ive seen what happens to people with actual brain cell damage and they do alot more
than hide stuff on myspace and have affairs. you damage even one or two brain cells
and people can become homicidal if they are aggressive to begin with. if its some
character trait that already exists it probably does to brain what drugs do...it
increases or hightens aggressiveness.
there was a pro wrestler that was taking HGH and he had killed his entire family and
then did himself in. they autopsied the brain and found two or more destroyed brain cells and they attributed it to the severe trauma, blunt force trauma the brain received
from blows taken in the ring. this guy was normally incredibly loving and all about family. very gentle giant. totally out of character what he did. at first they blamed it on the HGH but
after extensive research they later attributed it to the brain dying.
my point is, i think you would see drastic changes in personality with even the slightest
portion of brain damaged. even one or two dead or dying cells. so i really dont buy
such a theory. we were made to good and two complete and when it comes to this...
id say flawless. God is that good! i think some people just get off on being deceptive.
its more thrilling and more of a turn on to have secrets and get away with something.
they did a study on drug addicts. they gave them all the drugs the wanted. they didnt
have to hustle or steal or risk incarceration. they all ended up dropping out of programe and headed back to old life style . why? because it was the hustle that gave
them the thrill. its the whole package and the same i would think for guys and women
players. part of it is the set-up and not just the ending. yes the ending is
the cherry you get off but all that work that goes up to it is what sets it up and makes
it good. anticipation. thats what keeps people hooked. when they stop they feel like
life is empty. like life is gone. like a whole world just got incredibly boring and
its hard to go back to that life. you really have to start filling in the hole with
things that are good for you. i cant tell you the feeling but when you leave it ...
you feel dead. when you are in the game you are alive because its adreniline going and
pumping.
ive seen what happens to people with actual brain cell damage and they do alot more
than hide stuff on myspace and have affairs. you damage even one or two brain cells
and people can become homicidal if they are aggressive to begin with. if its some
character trait that already exists it probably does to brain what drugs do...it
increases or hightens aggressiveness.
there was a pro wrestler that was taking HGH and he had killed his entire family and
then did himself in. they autopsied the brain and found two or more destroyed brain cells and they attributed it to the severe trauma, blunt force trauma the brain received
from blows taken in the ring. this guy was normally incredibly loving and all about family. very gentle giant. totally out of character what he did. at first they blamed it on the HGH but
after extensive research they later attributed it to the brain dying.
my point is, i think you would see drastic changes in personality with even the slightest
portion of brain damaged. even one or two dead or dying cells. so i really dont buy
such a theory. we were made to good and two complete and when it comes to this...
id say flawless. God is that good! i think some people just get off on being deceptive.
its more thrilling and more of a turn on to have secrets and get away with something.
they did a study on drug addicts. they gave them all the drugs the wanted. they didnt
have to hustle or steal or risk incarceration. they all ended up dropping out of programe and headed back to old life style . why? because it was the hustle that gave
them the thrill. its the whole package and the same i would think for guys and women
players. part of it is the set-up and not just the ending. yes the ending is
the cherry you get off but all that work that goes up to it is what sets it up and makes
it good. anticipation. thats what keeps people hooked. when they stop they feel like
life is empty. like life is gone. like a whole world just got incredibly boring and
its hard to go back to that life. you really have to start filling in the hole with
things that are good for you. i cant tell you the feeling but when you leave it ...
you feel dead. when you are in the game you are alive because its adreniline going and
pumping.
Extremely Well Said - I Couldnt Agree More 
On another board I read there is a speculation that "a defect mirror neuron system"...
DA, many thanks for the info. I will pursue the subject on the internet.
I need not to mention sources cause it is all a speculation. It is not my knowledge or belief. I just put it here to get feedback. so that the discussion continues. cause I am really confused with all these changes in ethic behaviour all over the world.
love vs. respect?
1. love is not sex. you focused on it.
2. whether respect is much more important? of course. this is how it goes today. lots of seperation due to lack of respect. and they are full with hate and talk dirty about their exes, parents or neighbours.... and they all talk about taking it slow and protect themselves. Who says the next trusted one will not due some failure too? you will always hate those you loved once.
teacher? not. I ask questions. looking for adaptation to the new world order. Read my first thread?
DA, many thanks for the info. I will pursue the subject on the internet.
I need not to mention sources cause it is all a speculation. It is not my knowledge or belief. I just put it here to get feedback. so that the discussion continues. cause I am really confused with all these changes in ethic behaviour all over the world.
love vs. respect?
1. love is not sex. you focused on it.
2. whether respect is much more important? of course. this is how it goes today. lots of seperation due to lack of respect. and they are full with hate and talk dirty about their exes, parents or neighbours.... and they all talk about taking it slow and protect themselves. Who says the next trusted one will not due some failure too? you will always hate those you loved once.
teacher? not. I ask questions. looking for adaptation to the new world order. Read my first thread?
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