The rebounder

This topic was created in the Relationships forum by sweethearts on Saturday, June 22, 2013 and has 9 replies.
Are they capable of a committed relationship or can they just not stand to be alone? And if they rebound time and time again are they rebounding from the previous person or the original "one" that they lost?
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Posted by ninjutsu
Depends on the person in question. Very disturbing thought that someone could be rebounding like a pingpong forevermore based on the loss of their very first love some 20 odd years prior, but it's no doubt the case for some unfortunate individuals. So yes, this sort of rebound is the proper meaning of serial monogamy, yeah? I used to think I was a serial monogamist, but in each relationship I got into it hoping it would last, and I don't tend to bounce from one to the other and certainly do not feel the need to be in a relationship. When I broke up with the big kahuna (in terms of how serious that relationship was), I didn't get over him for yearrrrs and remained alone. I wouldn't want to be with someone who just slid from one relationship to another, I find that quite off-putting... It's like they have no sense of self and need constantly to borrow one from someone else.


My brother's relationship is a rebound. Well, it's been going on for 2 years now or something, but all the things you mentioned, I see in his girlfriend (my brother is the rebound). The girl cannot be on her own, think for herself, etc. She's a bit of a doormat and relies on everyone else for just about anything. She went chasing after him as soon as she got some freedom from her crazy ex of 5-6 years or something.
I dunno how anyone can even be with someone when it's clear you're the rebound. Overall, all of it is a huge red flag and it amazes me people jump in wholeheartedly with these individuals. I had a friend attempt to chase me after his break up and it's like whoooa, yeah no. You just got out of a relationship. Go be single for awhile. I am not getting into a relationship where I'm the therapist and rehab post break up.
Besides, why would you want to be someone's reckless whim?
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I'll some on here...
I did a rebound relationship. After my engagement was broken I did a short relationship trip and I was lucky enough to find someone who will make me forget the pain temporarily. Everything was great cos he was a great guy. I told him that I just came from a longterm relationship that just ended and it seems that he doesn't mind bout it. We travel together, do things together and that made me happy and I was able to find myself again and learn to love myself again. But the feeling of loving him the way he love me was not there for me. I just can't give it. Yes, he made me happy but I know I'll be gone soon cos I don't want him to be the one who give and give while I take so much. So I set him free.
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*ill share some here*
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I was a spare tyre (means temporarily replacement) until the chicks rebound ..
means the actual tyre returns ... lol
twice in my life
I was so heartbroken cause i put much effort in every relationship to make it happening
anyway i moved on but develop a phobia to fall in love deeply with any girl again
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Interesting question ..... most likely the person who rebounds every relationship onto another, does so with everything in their life. Just a constant changing to greener pastures, and never any solid foundations to build on.
A rebound relationship is healthy, so long as the person realizes what they are doing, comprehends that it's not real love. Probably only a half a percent of the adult population has the capability of being that real with themselves .... but, still, so long as they don't put all their eggs in the basket, I think it's healthy.
Often times, when people are stuck in a relationship (which of course, they aren't stuck, but, they don't know that) .... it's uncertainty that keeps them there, the fear of what is going to happen to them, how are they going to find the emotional strength to push forward.
And a person on the other side who wants them (even fractionally) is enough, in most cases, for that person to finally let go of the bad relationship. Is this rebound going anywhere? NO .... but, it serves its purpose in helping a trapped person to better themselves, so the purpose it serves is valuable.
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My ex went into a rebound relationship a month after we broke up. He's still in the same relationship a year later. I've come to the conclusion that anyone will do as long as he's getting emotional support. But, they're both happy because they're getting what they want and I have no doubts they'll continue to stay together unless the girl cracks.
I was in a rebound after that relationship, too. I genuinely liked the guy and I felt that I could even love him. But, I guess I can't make it to that threshold any time soon.
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Posted by P-Angel
Interesting question ..... most likely the person who rebounds every relationship onto another, does so with everything in their life. Just a constant changing to greener pastures, and never any solid foundations to build on.
A rebound relationship is healthy, so long as the person realizes what they are doing, comprehends that it's not real love. Probably only a half a percent of the adult population has the capability of being that real with themselves .... but, still, so long as they don't put all their eggs in the basket, I think it's healthy.
Often times, when people are stuck in a relationship (which of course, they aren't stuck, but, they don't know that) .... it's uncertainty that keeps them there, the fear of what is going to happen to them, how are they going to find the emotional strength to push forward.
And a person on the other side who wants them (even fractionally) is enough, in most cases, for that person to finally let go of the bad relationship. Is this rebound going anywhere? NO .... but, it serves its purpose in helping a trapped person to better themselves, so the purpose it serves is valuable.


Haven't read anything that is more true than this.
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Never thought of it like that...
but when they jump from a long term straight to another...I think they are definitely rebounding, it's possible that they have found a better person/relationship.
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