Tortured Soul, looking for feedback - Part One
This topic was created in the Relationships forum by LiveLifeLove on Sunday, June 9, 2013 and has 4 replies.
This is my first post on this, and I hope I get feedback. Thank-you...
I am a married guy that is tortured with the thoughts and emotions of love for a girl that is 24 years younger than me.
I met her 3 years ago when I was at Dentist and she is his assistant. I immediately felt a strong attraction to her. Not a sexual urge, but that feeling like you want to hang out around her for as long as you possibly can.
I then spent the next 18 months in and out of the Dentist office getting implants and I may have been to the dentist 20 times over those 18 months.
We had several events outside the office and we always make sure there is no kissing or touching (just an occasional hug) and eventually we would have short conversations by phone or text messages. I told her my marriage is not a good one and I want to end it and be free and she does not respond, she is careful not to lead me on, but at same time, she seems to like to talk and chat with me a lot (I am guessing as I want to be careful not to tell you something unless it is fact).
Towards the end of my dental visits, she asks if I want to go to lunch and I did so I came by during her lunch to meet her at the office and the receptionist and dentist are joking a bit about us taking our time at lunch like they are kidding a young couple going on a date. We went to lunch, casual, nothing happened, we chatted, we always had good times and laughed a lot, we had an easy going friendship with an edge of unspoken words that we both seemed to feel ( I did, I am guessing she did) and after the lunch I started talking on phone more frequently with her, and one day, out of blue ( no action prompted this) she texted that she thought things were getting out of hand and thought we should keep our relationship professional, not personal. I quickly replied, I understand, and would honor her wish. I was a bit embarrassed as I was always cautious about pressing too hard because of age difference and fact that I was still married.
It hurt, but I went for last few dental visits with a very professional, but happy look on my face and the both of us pretended no words were said, and we kept it light and friendly.
That was about a year and a half ago when she was 27 (it was Nov. 2011). Then in April 2012 she sent a happy birthday card from dentist, saying she wished me an awesome birthday and was friendly but not flirty like she was before agreeing to keep it businesslike. I will need to do this in 2 parts, sorry
I am a married guy that is tortured with the thoughts and emotions of love for a girl that is 24 years younger than me.
I met her 3 years ago when I was at Dentist and she is his assistant. I immediately felt a strong attraction to her. Not a sexual urge, but that feeling like you want to hang out around her for as long as you possibly can.
I then spent the next 18 months in and out of the Dentist office getting implants and I may have been to the dentist 20 times over those 18 months.
We had several events outside the office and we always make sure there is no kissing or touching (just an occasional hug) and eventually we would have short conversations by phone or text messages. I told her my marriage is not a good one and I want to end it and be free and she does not respond, she is careful not to lead me on, but at same time, she seems to like to talk and chat with me a lot (I am guessing as I want to be careful not to tell you something unless it is fact).
Towards the end of my dental visits, she asks if I want to go to lunch and I did so I came by during her lunch to meet her at the office and the receptionist and dentist are joking a bit about us taking our time at lunch like they are kidding a young couple going on a date. We went to lunch, casual, nothing happened, we chatted, we always had good times and laughed a lot, we had an easy going friendship with an edge of unspoken words that we both seemed to feel ( I did, I am guessing she did) and after the lunch I started talking on phone more frequently with her, and one day, out of blue ( no action prompted this) she texted that she thought things were getting out of hand and thought we should keep our relationship professional, not personal. I quickly replied, I understand, and would honor her wish. I was a bit embarrassed as I was always cautious about pressing too hard because of age difference and fact that I was still married.
It hurt, but I went for last few dental visits with a very professional, but happy look on my face and the both of us pretended no words were said, and we kept it light and friendly.
That was about a year and a half ago when she was 27 (it was Nov. 2011). Then in April 2012 she sent a happy birthday card from dentist, saying she wished me an awesome birthday and was friendly but not flirty like she was before agreeing to keep it businesslike. I will need to do this in 2 parts, sorry
I kept her memory warm in my heart. Thinking of her sometimes 3 or 4 times a day. At night, she would enter my thoughts, and I felt like I could "feel" her thinking of me, and true or not it made me feel close to her. A year and a half went by this way. I no longer needed the dentist, so I never went back, but she was always on my mind. I have never had such a feel about anyone before. I have been married 25 years, and also had several year or more relationships before, but this one is/was different, very different. Thoughts and feelings of this person being my "soul mate" would come into my mind for no reason, and I never had thoughts like that about any like this before.
So my first birthday passes of me not seeing her, and my second comes up (April 2013) and my b-day card arrives from dental office, and this time, it is decorated with smiley faces and the text is a crazy spiral along the whole card and she wishes me well but it has a different tone, she is more playful and stuff and it makes me feel really good.We shared a love for cool music and so I thought I would do something nice since her card appeared to be a reaching out to connect after almost two years.
I picked up a thank-you card, and a thumbdrive and I copied a bunch of new music I had been listening to since last we talked, and I went by the dentist after hours on my way home and left the card at the office door.
She called that next day and I did not get the call but the voicemail was so warm and friendly I almost cried. She said "Thank-you Sooo much for the card, Oh My God, I miss you so much, its unbelievable..." She then said " I want to let you know, I have been a giddy, giddy, person all day today, I just want to let you know that. I hope you are awesome, and well, call me back."
I got the voicemail, and called, but it was late and it went to vm also, and I left short vm telling her how happy I was to hear from her.
Since April 17th, I have texted her a few times, and she responds, and we talk about hanging out, but she said it had to wait, as she was going to florida for a week, but after she gets back on the 9th, it will be awesome! (with usual smilies and stuff in the text).
So, I am wondering, on the eve of her getting back from florida (she said she gets back on June 9th, tomorrow) what had happened? Had she been thinking about me for the past two years, and longing for me, the same as I was for her?
Why did she shut it down to begin with? My instinct tells me her
So my first birthday passes of me not seeing her, and my second comes up (April 2013) and my b-day card arrives from dental office, and this time, it is decorated with smiley faces and the text is a crazy spiral along the whole card and she wishes me well but it has a different tone, she is more playful and stuff and it makes me feel really good.We shared a love for cool music and so I thought I would do something nice since her card appeared to be a reaching out to connect after almost two years.
I picked up a thank-you card, and a thumbdrive and I copied a bunch of new music I had been listening to since last we talked, and I went by the dentist after hours on my way home and left the card at the office door.
She called that next day and I did not get the call but the voicemail was so warm and friendly I almost cried. She said "Thank-you Sooo much for the card, Oh My God, I miss you so much, its unbelievable..." She then said " I want to let you know, I have been a giddy, giddy, person all day today, I just want to let you know that. I hope you are awesome, and well, call me back."
I got the voicemail, and called, but it was late and it went to vm also, and I left short vm telling her how happy I was to hear from her.
Since April 17th, I have texted her a few times, and she responds, and we talk about hanging out, but she said it had to wait, as she was going to florida for a week, but after she gets back on the 9th, it will be awesome! (with usual smilies and stuff in the text).
So, I am wondering, on the eve of her getting back from florida (she said she gets back on June 9th, tomorrow) what had happened? Had she been thinking about me for the past two years, and longing for me, the same as I was for her?
Why did she shut it down to begin with? My instinct tells me her
Did her friends tell her it was nuts to hang out with a guy almost twice her age (that's what I feel)?
Did she listen to them, and try to put me out of her mind, but could not, just as I, perhaps she feels this overwhelming knowledge that we are meant to be together, that we are "destined" to be there for each other?
She is almost 28 now, and I just turned 52. Does that seem okay now perhaps, where 26 and 50 did not?
My marriage is burned out a decade ago, and my wife is saving money up to be able to live on her own and we both know it will be ending in divorce in weeks or months now. But, I was approached by a company, to join them back at the beginning of this year, and if I did, it would require moving out of state. But for my move, they would give me a percentage of their company, and it would represent 10 million dollars if I stick it out and take the ride with them for between 5 and 10 years. That is a lot of money, and I like the company, and the satet I would have to move to, but tomorrow she returns, and I have no idea if we are going to be building a relationship together, and should I even mention the job offer (I will need to any the job question within the next 60 days) or should I just ride this thing out with the girl and see what she wants? Last week when she was in florida, I sent her a short text, just saying, I was thinking of her at that moment, and could not get her out of my mind (which was true, it was like overwhelming), no more that 2 minutes after sending the text, she sent back a pic of her in a car looking at camera with a very sweet smile on her face. I replied, "I love it. you are so pretty". and that was it. I have told her several times over the past 3 years that she makes my heart feel so large and warm like it has not felt before and how much I like her and could talk with her for hours, and enjoy every minute with her. I tell you so you don't think, I have not told her how my heart feels, I have been clear that I have love in my heart for her, even though I am very cautious about approaching her with more than a hug, becasue I want her to dictate the terms of if she wants to pursue this or not (I've told her that too). One; becasue she put the brakes on this once, a couple years ago, and two, since she is much younger, I want her to look in her heart, and be sure she is prepared to face the objections from friends and family and the only way she can face that, is if she is sure her heart is big enough for the ch
Did she listen to them, and try to put me out of her mind, but could not, just as I, perhaps she feels this overwhelming knowledge that we are meant to be together, that we are "destined" to be there for each other?
She is almost 28 now, and I just turned 52. Does that seem okay now perhaps, where 26 and 50 did not?
My marriage is burned out a decade ago, and my wife is saving money up to be able to live on her own and we both know it will be ending in divorce in weeks or months now. But, I was approached by a company, to join them back at the beginning of this year, and if I did, it would require moving out of state. But for my move, they would give me a percentage of their company, and it would represent 10 million dollars if I stick it out and take the ride with them for between 5 and 10 years. That is a lot of money, and I like the company, and the satet I would have to move to, but tomorrow she returns, and I have no idea if we are going to be building a relationship together, and should I even mention the job offer (I will need to any the job question within the next 60 days) or should I just ride this thing out with the girl and see what she wants? Last week when she was in florida, I sent her a short text, just saying, I was thinking of her at that moment, and could not get her out of my mind (which was true, it was like overwhelming), no more that 2 minutes after sending the text, she sent back a pic of her in a car looking at camera with a very sweet smile on her face. I replied, "I love it. you are so pretty". and that was it. I have told her several times over the past 3 years that she makes my heart feel so large and warm like it has not felt before and how much I like her and could talk with her for hours, and enjoy every minute with her. I tell you so you don't think, I have not told her how my heart feels, I have been clear that I have love in my heart for her, even though I am very cautious about approaching her with more than a hug, becasue I want her to dictate the terms of if she wants to pursue this or not (I've told her that too). One; becasue she put the brakes on this once, a couple years ago, and two, since she is much younger, I want her to look in her heart, and be sure she is prepared to face the objections from friends and family and the only way she can face that, is if she is sure her heart is big enough for the ch
LiveLifeLove
I know that my heart is ready for this. It is huge, and filled with warm, glowing love for her in a way I have never felt before. It is almost like a religious experience. It makes me lightheaded, and kind of nausious whenever I think of her for anything more than a minute of two, like now, I feel like I am almost floating above the floor, so light and warm.
So...what should I think? What is she thinking? How should I proceed?
Do I mention the out of state opportunity (BTW-She means much, much more than the millions of possible dollars). If I knew she had the same powerful love in her heart, I would walk away from the opportunity in a heartbeat...
It is almost June 9th and I will probably hear from her in the next day or two. What do you think of all of this? I have not shared this story with anyone else in the world, so I feel kind if naked, and exposed, but I am scared, anxious, hopeful, and in love! What else can I do, I pray for her love, but only if it is the right thing for her...
I know that my heart is ready for this. It is huge, and filled with warm, glowing love for her in a way I have never felt before. It is almost like a religious experience. It makes me lightheaded, and kind of nausious whenever I think of her for anything more than a minute of two, like now, I feel like I am almost floating above the floor, so light and warm.
So...what should I think? What is she thinking? How should I proceed?
Do I mention the out of state opportunity (BTW-She means much, much more than the millions of possible dollars). If I knew she had the same powerful love in her heart, I would walk away from the opportunity in a heartbeat...
It is almost June 9th and I will probably hear from her in the next day or two. What do you think of all of this? I have not shared this story with anyone else in the world, so I feel kind if naked, and exposed, but I am scared, anxious, hopeful, and in love! What else can I do, I pray for her love, but only if it is the right thing for her...
Leave Your Feedback
We'd love to hear your thoughts! If you're not logged in, you can still share your feedback below. Your input helps us improve the experience for everyone. To post your own content or join the conversation, please log in or create an account.
Related Topics
Today it got me thinking again about this question, i haven't put thought into this for a while. i was at a festival for
@HouseCleaning
Joined: Oct 02, 2012 · Topics: 266 · Posts: 5328
Aquarius f. He's quiet and mysterious, and so funny. He loves his family and his friends and all I ever wanted was to be
@commondarling194
Joined: Jun 08, 2013 · Topics: 1 · Posts: 2
Ok, so I met this guy a year ago, at a comic convention and he sold me a copy of his book. It's a book where he invents
@Illusen
Joined: Jun 07, 2013 · Topics: 6 · Posts: 31
I thought Pisces woman loved having sex..I don't have sex as often as before. Maybe once or twice a week and when I do h
@freddy42
Joined: May 18, 2013 · Topics: 9 · Posts: 52
http://www.khaldea.com/planets/oriental_intro.shtml
@Ra
Joined: Jun 01, 2013 · Topics: 41 · Posts: 132
Hello guys, I've read some posts here and I got this question. Okay, virgos won't make the first step, and not even the
@loolitah
Joined: Jun 08, 2013 · Topics: 1 · Posts: 9
Very curious to this question as I am an Aries and my son's father is a Virgo and our broken family is a disaster caused
@matthieusMom
Joined: Jun 08, 2013 · Topics: 2 · Posts: 6
Very curious to this question as I am an Aries and my son's father is a Virgo and our broken family is a disaster caused
@matthieusMom
Joined: Jun 08, 2013 · Topics: 2 · Posts: 6
Hey all So I met this guy at work and after a few weeks of getting to know each other and going out in a group with f
@SweetMoonShyne
Joined: Jun 08, 2013 · Topics: 1 · Posts: 3
Do you not realize the level of epicness that is approaching? Our minds can't comprehend what is about to happen in the
@ScorpSuperior
Joined: Jul 30, 2007 · Topics: 206 · Posts: 10583