Tortured Soul, looking for feedback - Part Three
This topic was created in the Relationships forum by LiveLifeLove on Sunday, June 9, 2013 and has 4 replies.
Did her friends tell her it was nuts to hang out with a guy almost twice her age (that's what I feel)?
Did she listen to them, and try to put me out of her mind, but could not, just as I, perhaps she feels this overwhelming knowledge that we are meant to be together, that we are "destined" to be there for each other?
She is almost 28 now, and I just turned 52. Does that seem okay now perhaps, where 26 and 50 did not?
My marriage is burned out a decade ago, and my wife is saving money up to be able to live on her own and we both know it will be ending in divorce in weeks or months now. But, I was approached by a company, to join them back at the beginning of this year, and if I did, it would require moving out of state. But for my move, they would give me a percentage of their company, and it would represent 10 million dollars if I stick it out and take the ride with them for between 5 and 10 years. That is a lot of money, and I like the company, and the satet I would have to move to, but tomorrow she returns, and I have no idea if we are going to be building a relationship together, and should I even mention the job offer (I will need to any the job question within the next 60 days) or should I just ride this thing out with the girl and see what she wants? Last week when she was in florida, I sent her a short text, just saying, I was thinking of her at that moment, and could not get her out of my mind (which was true, it was like overwhelming), no more that 2 minutes after sending the text, she sent back a pic of her in a car looking at camera with a very sweet smile on her face. I replied, "I love it. you are so pretty". and that was it. I have told her several times over the past 3 years that she makes my heart feel so large and warm like it has not felt before and how much I like her and could talk with her for hours, and enjoy every minute with her. I tell you so you don't think, I have not told her how my heart feels, I have been clear that I have love in my heart for her, even though I am very cautious about approaching her with more than a hug, becasue I want her to dictate the terms of if she wants to pursue this or not (I've told her that too). One; becasue she put the brakes on this once, a couple years ago, and two, since she is much younger, I want her to look in her heart, and be sure she is prepared to face the objections from friends and family and the only way she can face that, is if she is sure her heart is big enough for the ch
Did she listen to them, and try to put me out of her mind, but could not, just as I, perhaps she feels this overwhelming knowledge that we are meant to be together, that we are "destined" to be there for each other?
She is almost 28 now, and I just turned 52. Does that seem okay now perhaps, where 26 and 50 did not?
My marriage is burned out a decade ago, and my wife is saving money up to be able to live on her own and we both know it will be ending in divorce in weeks or months now. But, I was approached by a company, to join them back at the beginning of this year, and if I did, it would require moving out of state. But for my move, they would give me a percentage of their company, and it would represent 10 million dollars if I stick it out and take the ride with them for between 5 and 10 years. That is a lot of money, and I like the company, and the satet I would have to move to, but tomorrow she returns, and I have no idea if we are going to be building a relationship together, and should I even mention the job offer (I will need to any the job question within the next 60 days) or should I just ride this thing out with the girl and see what she wants? Last week when she was in florida, I sent her a short text, just saying, I was thinking of her at that moment, and could not get her out of my mind (which was true, it was like overwhelming), no more that 2 minutes after sending the text, she sent back a pic of her in a car looking at camera with a very sweet smile on her face. I replied, "I love it. you are so pretty". and that was it. I have told her several times over the past 3 years that she makes my heart feel so large and warm like it has not felt before and how much I like her and could talk with her for hours, and enjoy every minute with her. I tell you so you don't think, I have not told her how my heart feels, I have been clear that I have love in my heart for her, even though I am very cautious about approaching her with more than a hug, becasue I want her to dictate the terms of if she wants to pursue this or not (I've told her that too). One; becasue she put the brakes on this once, a couple years ago, and two, since she is much younger, I want her to look in her heart, and be sure she is prepared to face the objections from friends and family and the only way she can face that, is if she is sure her heart is big enough for the ch
Posted by kalin
And be prepared if the feelings are not mutual.
I will ask her. I just needed to get this all out of my system, and I thought it might help (or entertain) someone else who might be going through something like this. I truly feel as though she is trying to figure out what she is feeling, and it has been a long time, for her to go over her feelings and really see if she has feelings for me or not, and I think she finally made up her mind about a month ago. I know it does not matter a drop to anyone here, but for me, it is my world. The feeling of love filling your heart and overwhelming you is such a good feeling, once you get it, you don't want to lose it, and I am trying to hold back this time, and not go in too deep, until I hear from her that she has the same feelings for me. I will post her response back here if you would like to know. "Does she love him back, or is this just a middle-aged guy infatuation"...
BTW-I am 52, but look 36, and feel 26. If you saw my picture, you would see this is not an older balding, graying, pot bellied guy tracking down a chick. I am 6'1", 225, have full head of auburn hair, green eyes, and work out 4 days a week.
Djb brings up some valid points, as he always does. I'm still of the mind that you should proceed with your divorce without involving her any further and take some time out for yourself first. Twenty years is a long time in a relationship and dissolving it is not just signing a piece of paper...you'll find there is so much more involved with family finances and friends.. why complicate it further? And its nit fair to her or your family. You've stated you have already waited 3 years, what's another 6-12 months?
But unlike djb, I think in the right time perhaps you can have relationship with this woman.
But unlike djb, I think in the right time perhaps you can have relationship with this woman.
But even if she wants a family, he (if he wants & is still capable) could give her that. It's possible, but at his age it's probably the last thing on his mind...I know I couldn't do it all again!!
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