Unrealistic expectations
This topic was created in the Relationships forum by krysrenee7 on Thursday, October 10, 2013 and has 7 replies.
Ladies, if he is NOT your man and/or if he's telling you that he does NOT want a relationship then adjust or re-adjust your expectations accordingly!
If you're just his "friend" don't:
1. Expect to be the only 1 (A man is only required to be monogamous when he's in a relationship with you OR if that's the agreement you 2 made (still wouldn't trust that either)
2. Expect for him to treat you like you're his girlfriend or do all the things men should only be doing with their girlfriends (calling you consistently, & putting all his time & effort into you)
3. Expect to know all his current sexual business. It's NONE of your business. If you feel he's sleeping around with other women, stop sleeping with him yourself! But don't go feeling all entitled to that information or to his body being only for your pleasure
4. Expect for him to feel sorry for you when you get your feelings all wrapped up b/c you decided to completely ignore/overlook the fact that he TOLD YOU he did not want a relationship. You know how you are. If you know that you can't sleep with a man, spend a lot of time with him, have a lot of fun with him, etc. w/o catching feelings, then be accountable for your OWN actions & DON'T do those things with him. If you catch feelings & start expecting a title that he already told you you wouldn't get, don't call him the bad guy; call yourself unrealistic & na??ve. HUGE DIFFERENCE
5. Don't think he was kidding or "joking" when he said he didn't want a relationship. If there was no "LOL" or "J/K" behind his words, he was dead serious when he said it! He told you b/c he is telling you up front that he does NOT wanna be accountable or responsible for your actions/feelings if YOU decide to ignore what he just told you lol. Smart move guys lol
If he changes his mind & decides later that he wants a relationship, understand that it's b/c HE made that decision within himself & not b/c you constantly threw yourself at him & gave him all you had. Using the power of the P***sy will NOT work on a man who is already getting plenty of P***sy to begin with lol
6. Understand that a man may not get as attached to you than you would him after all the sex, fun, etc. That is why he can still be just your "friend" after it all, like it never phased him. If you can't be his "friend" b/c you have feelings, that's fine, but understand that if he doesn't, why would he call off the friendship? A man will keep taking what you keep on giving.
Learn these t
If you're just his "friend" don't:
1. Expect to be the only 1 (A man is only required to be monogamous when he's in a relationship with you OR if that's the agreement you 2 made (still wouldn't trust that either)
2. Expect for him to treat you like you're his girlfriend or do all the things men should only be doing with their girlfriends (calling you consistently, & putting all his time & effort into you)
3. Expect to know all his current sexual business. It's NONE of your business. If you feel he's sleeping around with other women, stop sleeping with him yourself! But don't go feeling all entitled to that information or to his body being only for your pleasure
4. Expect for him to feel sorry for you when you get your feelings all wrapped up b/c you decided to completely ignore/overlook the fact that he TOLD YOU he did not want a relationship. You know how you are. If you know that you can't sleep with a man, spend a lot of time with him, have a lot of fun with him, etc. w/o catching feelings, then be accountable for your OWN actions & DON'T do those things with him. If you catch feelings & start expecting a title that he already told you you wouldn't get, don't call him the bad guy; call yourself unrealistic & na??ve. HUGE DIFFERENCE
5. Don't think he was kidding or "joking" when he said he didn't want a relationship. If there was no "LOL" or "J/K" behind his words, he was dead serious when he said it! He told you b/c he is telling you up front that he does NOT wanna be accountable or responsible for your actions/feelings if YOU decide to ignore what he just told you lol. Smart move guys lol
If he changes his mind & decides later that he wants a relationship, understand that it's b/c HE made that decision within himself & not b/c you constantly threw yourself at him & gave him all you had. Using the power of the P***sy will NOT work on a man who is already getting plenty of P***sy to begin with lol
6. Understand that a man may not get as attached to you than you would him after all the sex, fun, etc. That is why he can still be just your "friend" after it all, like it never phased him. If you can't be his "friend" b/c you have feelings, that's fine, but understand that if he doesn't, why would he call off the friendship? A man will keep taking what you keep on giving.
Learn these t
Learn these things ladies! Lower those high expectations. It's ok to have standards & to wanna be the only one BUT if that's what you want then go pursue men who want the SAME! If you're just gonna go pursue a guy who wants the complete opposite of what you want, that's on YOU if you get hurt in the end
Great insight.... Cheers....
+ a gazillion
Posted by cheekyfaerie
One would hope this would be common sense. Sadly...
I think some people do lack this common sense, not b/c they're stupid but b/c they allow their feelings and/or denial to override their common sense.
Any time something has to override your common sense, that's an indicator that you're making a bad choice or using poor judgment
Everything is always easier said than done, but common sense shouldn't be 1 of them!!!!!!
People get hurt often not b/c they didn't/couldn't see it coming, but b/c they didn't use their common sense. Then wanna blame others for their hurt feelings. YOU are responsible for using your common sense/wisdom, not others. Expecting others to do your own mental work for you is yet another UNREALISTIC EXPECTATION
I agree with you mostly, but a lot of guys are not always so obvious about what they do/don't want.
Sometimes the girl goes into it not realizing the guy doesn't want to be in a relationship. She might think they're dating. Some guys aren't as upfront to say so. Sometimes, once the guy gets the idea the girl has feelings wants more, THEN they come up with the whole "I don't want a relationship thing".
Just saying.
And, Cheeky is right, too. That happens just as often. Girls sometimes think, It'll be different with me, he'll want to commit to ME; I'll be the exception.
Sometimes the girl goes into it not realizing the guy doesn't want to be in a relationship. She might think they're dating. Some guys aren't as upfront to say so. Sometimes, once the guy gets the idea the girl has feelings wants more, THEN they come up with the whole "I don't want a relationship thing".
Just saying.
And, Cheeky is right, too. That happens just as often. Girls sometimes think, It'll be different with me, he'll want to commit to ME; I'll be the exception.
he'll want to commit to ME; I'll be the exception.
ARE WE THAT BAD?
ARE WE THAT BAD?
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