When is the relationship safe?

How far does the game go? I like to keep things passionate, but sometimes a person just wants to relax and rest comfy in their lovers arms.

How safe can you ever really feel?

Not to take the pessimist point of view, just playing devils advocate here...

"The minute your start to be critical of your relationships, is the moment you stand the chance of losing them."

You can be perfectly content in your relationship and one day walk in on your husband banging somone or hiding them in the closet as was my case...

It all sounds nice on paper but in the real world people do bad things and it makes you have to question things from time to time.

Hmmm, some quality food for thought. Thanks guys.

"The minute your start to be critical of your relationships, is the moment you stand the chance of losing them."

well, in order to grow in a relationship one must be critical, especially in the beginning stages of it; not to confuse with the term confrontational.
one must be able to take down the rose-colored glasses and see the relationship as a combination of good and bad things. Actually, I do believe the firts stages of a relationship is a trial period. That is why taurus become possesive or cancers play head games, and scorpius jealousy takes over; is in the search for security that the testing of waters becomes key to a future long term relationship. So, a relationship becomes safe when the testing of waters is over; after the period of meaningless fights, and jealousy outburts is over, both partners find that there CAN be equilibrium, and those rose-colored glasses are not necessary anymore, only the true vision that stability can bring.


All ado about nothing. Uff....

Two people must want the same thing too.

I just meant that everybody has a different way of testing, nobody, and i say nobody can actually come out clean and say "i have never tested in one way or another"
Nobody is so sure, that is why we wonder....Nobody , including me, comes into a relationship and says, this is gonna be just perfect.
Testing is of humans, doubting is of humans. We have a need to feel secure... and what I understand from your point of view is that the only thing we can do is get in there and just be prepared and be victims of uncertainty. I refuse to be a victim of uncertainty, I wanna know if my investment (yes, i play for keeps, not material ones though) is gonna be rewarded at the end of the day. The only option that I see your way of thinking offers is either to be ready to be hurt or not be hurt at all. But the world isnt black and white. everybody need some assurance sometime. It's not selfish, it's just the way we humans handle things. As long as we're human, we will make mistakes, and our dealings are erroneus to begin with. but we have to try with what we got, even if that means the personality of a liar, a flakey or a cheat. And as the years go by, it develops into something better. Never perfect- it's called trial and error.

I thought that I was extremist, but you just go over the top. Love isn't just one kind of love, it's not a perfect thing. It is as imperfect as the people who fall in it. It is not superficial, if it was why should I care. I have yet to know the person who invests in something that has no purpose for him or her. I would like to know what you think on that...

great ideas, you guys.


i'm agreeing with what i'm reading. (doesn't happen often)

"There are just somethings we can't control. Broken hearts happen, but they can also be mended."

WTF happened to you, Brahn. I mean really. You use to be a real go-to stiff. A control freak's control freak. And now you're waxxing sappy. What's next? A poem about old people holding hands?

You make me sick.

Brahn0913:"Of course TaurusGoddess. But half of these relationships are concerned with two people who don't want the same thing. So when someone wants more, they try to force the other person to want what they want with games. It is really worth looking at deeper, but most people won't admit that their purpose of being in these relationships are superficial to begin with. On top of that, people will never admit that they need to work on themselves. It is funny how we like to believe we are the perfect ones and we label our "othe" as commitmentphobic, a liar, a cheater, or flakey. At the end of the day, once the veil of self-deception has been lifted. You are just two shitty people in a shitty relationship."

My goodness, what you're said makes perfect sense to me. Honestly I never thought about the concept of a relationship this way. Before I can understand someone else, I must first understand myself. Also, a relationship based on superfical ideas will definantely have issues once the "glossy" image fads ... I see exactly what you're talking about. Brahn0913 where were you when I needed guidance in matters of the heart last summer—? Ha, I should have logged in sooner instead of just reading all the postsJeeezz, I needed to hear something like that. This would have saved me so much emotional stress. This is good knowledge to take with me through the rest of my life. You would make a wonderful counselor 😉

It is funny how we like to believe we are the perfect ones and we label our "other" as...

SAD, and so true. I notice a lot of that on this site as well. Good thing for the blunt honest people, we need them. But who's really being honest with themselves on here? Some people are just looking for whatever they need to hear to comfort themselves. That's not right; and it sure as h=ll isn't growing. You're almost going backwards then.

never safe - might as well give up

It is funny how we like to believe we are the perfect ones and we label our "othe" as commitmentphobic, a liar, a cheater, or flakey. At the end of the day, once the veil of self-deception has been lifted. You are just two shitty people in a shitty relationship.


So true.