When someone is drunk, are they most likely to...

are they most likely to tell you things that are hidden in their hearts? I have a friend whom i adore. We agreed that we couldnt have a bf/gf relationship because we live far apart from each other. But one night he got drunk and told me things like if i lived near him he would want me as a gf. He told me he would definately marry me because i am sweet to him, and i care for him, that he thought i was gorgeous, beautiful, etc. But the next day when he was sober, i asked him if he remembered anything he said to me and he said no. He is very logical, because a long distance relationship is a tough situation to be in, and he has accepted that we just remain friends. But I am wondering if the alcohol made him let his guard down and that he was really expressing what he truly felt.

It says that only two people are honest: Kids , and drunk people.Most honest of everyone.


Maybe he did mean everything he said , but he maybe really doesn't remember,or doesn't want to recognize that he remembers cause confessing love when the relationship is practically impossible it maybe made him sad ,knowing he loves you but won't have you/doesn't have you as his gf.

Posted by BeatrixBecks
It says that only two people are honest: Kids , and drunk people.Most honest of everyone.


Maybe he did mean everything he said , but he maybe really doesn't remember,or doesn't want to recognize that he remembers cause confessing love when the relationship is practically impossible it maybe made him sad ,knowing he loves you but won't have you/doesn't have you as his gf.

alcohol: the truth serum

Some people are more honest, some not.

If someone whose supposedly "drunk" is "sober" enough to have a decent, honest & logical conversation, they're probably not all that drunk in the 1st place. I always keep that in mind

It's not even that the alcohol makes people be honest. Perhaps it gives them liquid courage to say things they normally wouldn't have the balls to say if sober. Still doesn't mean that what they're saying is true.

You have to remember that if a person isn't sober/logical enough to be drunk & drive at the same time, it doesn't make sense to assume they're logical/sober enough to tell the truth.

In Arizona, a woman on trial for killing someone (DUI) got off b/c the only time she confessed the night of the crime was when officers had her detained. The next day she was sober & "Claimed" she didn't remember confessing to anything. The judge couldn't accept her "confession" b/c technically she was intoxicated at the time. It wasn't admissible in court.

Point of the story: Take everything a drunk person says (nice or mean) with a grain of salt!

Well the problem isn't that he's only honest when he's drunk. The REAL problem is that he's not honest when he's sober.

And I'm hoping that he's sober more often than not.

I get that it's hard to open up & express certain feelings to another. BUT in order for a relationship to work, vulnerability is not an option. It's required. And if that's something he can't handle sober, it sucks for you b/c that's like him saying that you'll only get the truth when he's completely drunk

Well you're not in a relationship/friendship with the intoxicated person. You're supposed to be committed to the sober person...

The sober him should be the best that it gets, NOT the drunk him

no doubt

ok, my friend lives in alabama and i live in california. We have been in contact for several months. Its logical that we cannot have a relationship because of the distance. He would like to live in california, but he doesnt want to leave his kids who live with their moms and he really doesnt have much contact with him because their mothers make it difficult for him to do so, but they are close by. I know its not impossible to have a long distance relationship but it is hard because you want the person close to you. When he got drunk he told me that he doesnt know what he will do when i leave. I practically had to walk behind him so that he didnt topple over. He did throw up while sleeping and I made sure he didnt drown himself in his own vomit. He also said that saying goodbye to me when i left was going to be hard. He also asked me if i loved him. I said yes. He told me not to love him. But a few minutes later he told me he loved me. Before i went to see him he told me that he had a difficult time in past relationships and that he didnt want to experience heartbreak anymore. he said he was done with being with anyone. Too bad he thinks that way. No wonder he tried to fight it, but when he was drunk he practically told me he wanted for us to be together, but under the circumstances he wasnt going to do it. He said he would really like to but wont.

Posted by ellessque
OMG. good topic.

AWKWARD.

i was invited to a my pisces friends birthday party a few months back. she had it in a local pub.

she got so trashed, i drove her home and stayed the night.

she kept me up the rest of the night POURING her heart out.

now, this is not like a best friend. we barely talk. we might get together three times a year for dinner. we used to work together.

it was sooooo awkward. she told me shit that i just didn't want to know. i was totally sober so it made it that much more shocking.

after that, i don't think i heard from her for about 3-4 months. LOL 😛 she must have been embarrassed.

i can't do that. if i'm drinking to get drunk it better be around someone who already knows me and all my dirty little secrets. because i will spill them all.night.long. i want your opinion and i may even want to try them again 😛

lol ellessque - you are awesome

Posted by paranormalbadgirl
he told me he loved me. Before i went to see him he told me that he had a difficult time in past relationships and that he didnt want to experience heartbreak anymore. he said he was done with being with anyone. Too bad he thinks that way. No wonder he tried to fight it, but when he was drunk he practically told me he wanted for us to be together, but under the circumstances he wasnt going to do it. He said he would really like to but wont.

He was probably telling the truth

Problem is, is hearing that truth gonna changing anything? Doesn't seem like the outcome will change, which I'm assuming bothers you the most

Sure, knowing the truth may help with closure simply b/c you finally know BUT...

This guy isn't gonna budge. His insecurities & fear of being hurt again far outweigh any feelings he has for you.

So the question now is, what are you gonna do with the info you've been given?

yes its true. what difference will it make? He is definately fighting it. Maybe down the line he will see that im not what he fears, and what he fears is a bad relationship. I mean, his ex's used to throw things at him, and he discovered they were messing with illegal substances. He says he only attracts crazy women, and had asked me if i was crazy. of course i am not and he did find it unusual that a "normal" person like me would even be interested. Like you said, he is insecure and uncertain, and unwilling to take a chance. I understand that. There's a lot to me that would make me a good catch for him, but i wont go into it with him. I will leave it alone and accept the friendship. Maybe in the future, if its meant to be, he will see that I might just be worth it.

You're absolutely right. HE will have to see that you're a good catch & from there, make the choice not to allow his past or the people in it to affect what he's got going on right now

Who knows. He may "get it" tomorrow, 2 years from now or 20 years from now.

In the mean time, it sucks b/c sometimes 2 people can be great for eachother, but yet allow some of the craziest things to prevent them from being together & having a relationship that is worth it

Half of what he fears is all in his head. It probably doesn't even exist. But again, that's something HE will have to figure out. I hope he figures it out soon

The worst feeling in the world is when you can look back & regret that you allowed another "Good one" to get away

He should better understand that the only thing to fear is fear itself

Posted by krysrenee7
You're absolutely right. HE will have to see that you're a good catch & from there, make the choice not to allow his past or the people in it to affect what he's got going on right now

Who knows. He may "get it" tomorrow, 2 years from now or 20 years from now.

In the mean time, it sucks b/c sometimes 2 people can be great for eachother, but yet allow some of the craziest things to prevent them from being together & having a relationship that is worth it

Half of what he fears is all in his head. It probably doesn't even exist. But again, that's something HE will have to figure out. I hope he figures it out soon

The worst feeling in the world is when you can look back & regret that you allowed another "Good one" to get away

yes, this definitely. seen it over and over

thanks. it makes a lot of sense. He has been hurt so much that he doesnt want to get into a relationship. Thats understandable. I am just going to be his friend, be there for when he wants to talk, etc. Even if a relationship does not develop, I hope to be his friend for a long time. He's the type you would want to keep in your life regardless. I hope he would like to keep me as a long time friend as well.

Posted by paranormalbadgirl
thanks. it makes a lot of sense. He has been hurt so much that he doesnt want to get into a relationship. Thats understandable. I am just going to be his friend, be there for when he wants to talk, etc. Even if a relationship does not develop, I hope to be his friend for a long time. He's the type you would want to keep in your life regardless. I hope he would like to keep me as a long time friend as well.

That's the spirit! In the meantime, don't wait on him b/c you might be "waiting" for ever.

Sometimes a man still lets fear win the battle even after he's realized how many "good things" he's lost b/c of it.

When & if a relationship ever comes about, it oughta be b/c he initiated it& if anything respected you alot more for being his friend regardless of what title he couldn't give you

well put, krysrenne! He has alienated friends and family because he is kind of angry at the world right now. He can say something mean to me and I will not take it seriously. And this amazed him. He trips out that I dont walk out and say "f... it!" He probrably expects me to "abandon" him, too. But I won't. I know he is more than that. And in time, he will see i am a true friend.