Which is more important to you
This topic was created in the Relationships forum by krysrenee7 on Friday, September 13, 2013 and has 10 replies.
Let's say you just found out your partner was cheating OR think back to a time when you were cheated on in the past. Which of these were you the MOST curious about?
1. The WHO (who did they cheat with, who are they, what do they look like)
2. The WHAT (what exactly happened, details about the affair, etc.)
3. The WHEN (when did it 1st happen, how long did it go on, when was the last encounter, etc.)
4. The WHERE (where did it happen, where did it 1st start, where did you meet them)
5. The WHY (why they cheated, what their explanation is, what do they have that you don't have, etc.)
6. The HOW (how they did it, protected or unprotected, how they tried to cover their tracks when the affair 1st started)
I'm sure some of you will say NONE & others will say ALL, but if you could, just pick the 1 that takes the lead
This will be interesting...
1. The WHO (who did they cheat with, who are they, what do they look like)
2. The WHAT (what exactly happened, details about the affair, etc.)
3. The WHEN (when did it 1st happen, how long did it go on, when was the last encounter, etc.)
4. The WHERE (where did it happen, where did it 1st start, where did you meet them)
5. The WHY (why they cheated, what their explanation is, what do they have that you don't have, etc.)
6. The HOW (how they did it, protected or unprotected, how they tried to cover their tracks when the affair 1st started)
I'm sure some of you will say NONE & others will say ALL, but if you could, just pick the 1 that takes the lead
This will be interesting...
If I had to pick one, I'd be the most curious about the WHO.
Why?
Because I feel knowing who he cheated with would tell me a lot & would most likely explain the rest.
Example: He cheats with his ex. Well that tells me a lot. The "why" is b/c well that's his ex & there's probably still feelings.
And from there, I could probably use my common sense to figure out the rest lol
Why?
Because I feel knowing who he cheated with would tell me a lot & would most likely explain the rest.
Example: He cheats with his ex. Well that tells me a lot. The "why" is b/c well that's his ex & there's probably still feelings.
And from there, I could probably use my common sense to figure out the rest lol
I think the WHO would be most paramount. We tend to compare ourselves to others first and foremost. The WHY second as we think that it is ourselves who are to blame. I don't think I'd want to know any of the other details.
Who and since when.
Who, When and Why?
Err...because he wanted to do her? And she let him?
Posted by JenLove
For me it would be the WHY. Who it was with is irrelevant to me because that person doesn't matter. The other person was just an accessory and knowing who that person is would probably cause more hurt than anything if it's someone I know and if it's not someone I know then it would just create more questions than answers. Why was there a need or cause to cheat in the first place is the only thing I'd care to know to be able to backtrack and understand because that's how I gain closure.
I see your point.
I think who a man cheats on his woman with speaks volumes. If it's a stripper or prostitute, at that point I know he's hit rock bottom & has more issues than I probably thought
If it's with his ex, well I'll put 2 & 2 together & assume he's an emotionally-unavailable cheater
If it's with some random girl he met off the street, & there's no real reason for why they ended up in the bed other than, "Well she was attractive so I went for it!" I'll know he's just a cheater & probably would've cheated with anybody (100% loss of respect)
If it's with someone I know or am close to, I'd know that this guy has no conscious or morals
If it's someone he met at work, well I'd still leave him but would know that he buckles under pressure whenever he's around someone he's attracted to for long periods of time
I'd leave him REGARDLESS of the "who." I'm just saying...
I wouldn't wanna know WHO so I could compare myself to the other woman. I'd wanna know who b/c I think the WHO speaks volumes about where your man's mind state is, what's really wrong in the relationship & whether or not it's fixable
Posted by PiscVirgAquaFish
After the who, I would want to know the when. When did it first happen, and for how long.
Why and where... Not important to me.
Not sure I want the details of what they did. How maybe, if its unprotected I could catch something.
+100..
I noticed we often think quite similarly. Must be the Venus and Mercury in Aqua, in addition to Sun in Pisces.
the who because if its with somebody i know then that would be the ultimate betrayal..thats one thing i won't do is have sex with a friend,associate or relative of my gf
in my case, for the most part, the why wouldn't matter at all because more then likely its because i cheated 1st so she did it to get back at me..which is the dumbest shit ever imo..
in my case, for the most part, the why wouldn't matter at all because more then likely its because i cheated 1st so she did it to get back at me..which is the dumbest shit ever imo..
1 of my best friends has been cheated on a few times & every time she caught her man, all she seemed to care about was all the details & I kept telling her that she was just torturing herself by asking
I mean she wanted to know EVERYTHING...when they did it, what positions, did he cum, did they have oral sex, etc.
Each time, the sleezeball would give her every detail she asked for & at 1st she'd be appreciative that he was honest enough to tell her but at night when she was all alone, all those details kept replaying over & over again in her head.
I kept trying to tell her that knowing all the details doesn't change the big picture: HE CHEATED!
And then when the guy wouldn't give her the details, she'd just obsess & use her imagination was also made it worse lol
Those crazy details can do more harm than good b/c you get so caught up on the smaller picture that you forget the big picture
I mean she wanted to know EVERYTHING...when they did it, what positions, did he cum, did they have oral sex, etc.
Each time, the sleezeball would give her every detail she asked for & at 1st she'd be appreciative that he was honest enough to tell her but at night when she was all alone, all those details kept replaying over & over again in her head.
I kept trying to tell her that knowing all the details doesn't change the big picture: HE CHEATED!
And then when the guy wouldn't give her the details, she'd just obsess & use her imagination was also made it worse lol
Those crazy details can do more harm than good b/c you get so caught up on the smaller picture that you forget the big picture
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