Who has the hardest love life in the long run?
This topic was created in the Relationships forum by krysrenee7 on Thursday, October 31, 2013 and has 14 replies.
The person who trusts too much OR the person who doesn't trust enough?
I get that they are both bad, but I'm wondering which of these types of people loses that battle in love the most, even if it's a close 51% to 49%
I'd say the person who trusts too much has the love life with the most heart breaks in the long run.
I get that they are both bad, but I'm wondering which of these types of people loses that battle in love the most, even if it's a close 51% to 49%
I'd say the person who trusts too much has the love life with the most heart breaks in the long run.
the person who can't commit
Posted by krysrenee7
I'd say the person who trusts too much has the love life with the most heart breaks in the long run.
I agree.
After time, the one who doesn't trust enough can eventually learn to trust. I can't imagine it possible to trust 100% from the very beginning.
The time I trusted the most was the time I loved most.
In the end, it's probably more painful this way but damn, it's more exciting.
In the end, it's probably more painful this way but damn, it's more exciting.
I often wonder this myself. At times I feel that there have been times when I trusted too much, and I was deeply hurt, but then there are times when I believe I lose out on the opportunity of love or friendship, because I don't trust and have my guard up...
If I had a choice, I would rather trust 100% all of the time and just let go of all premonitions of mistrust... until proven otherwise. Unfortunately, I have been hurt in the past quite a bit, so this is much easier said then done, but it is something I aim for.
If I had a choice, I would rather trust 100% all of the time and just let go of all premonitions of mistrust... until proven otherwise. Unfortunately, I have been hurt in the past quite a bit, so this is much easier said then done, but it is something I aim for.
It's like Incubus says... "Love hurts, but sometimes it's a good hurt... and it feels like I'm alive"
Anyone who doesn't love themselves.
The one that trusts imo has the hardest love life, I am both. When I meet someone and the guards come down I trust them with everything and when it falls to pieces, it takes a long time for me to regain myself and I become guarded to protect myself.
I might go without love for a long period of time but this is way easier than dealing with all the emotional turmoil of a split, plus during this time, I work on me as a person and strengthen my character.
I might go without love for a long period of time but this is way easier than dealing with all the emotional turmoil of a split, plus during this time, I work on me as a person and strengthen my character.
Posted by SugarfootPosted by krysrenee7
The person who trusts too much OR the person who doesn't trust enough?
I get that they are both bad, but I'm wondering which of these types of people loses that battle in love the most, even if it's a close 51% to 49%
I'd say the person who trusts too much has the love life with the most heart breaks in the long run.
Yea but the person who doesn't trust will never have a love life at all.click to expand
Not true. The people who go into situations not giving trust to anyone still reap the benefits of the relationship. It's the OTHER person that gets screwed in the long run! The other person gets screwed & hurt the most b/c they just went for a ride & get nothing out of it, while the person who has commitment issues can't full experience the pain of the split b/c they were never fully invested to begin with!!!
A person can still experience love & all the perks that come with it even if they're not fully invested in it. They still get the sex, the affection, the companionship, the company, & all the perks!!! But if the relationship ends, it's a lot easier for them to break away & go on to the next one unlike it'd be that easy for the person on the other end of the stick (the person who gave their all/trusts too much)
People get into 1-sided relationships all the time!! They may not realize that it'll be 1-sided going in lol but nonetheless, it's still happening all around us.
Players def. get more out of love than a non-player does b/c a player gets all the benefits w/o having to do all the work that a genuine person has to do. The person who got played b/c they trusted too much may end up turning into the person who never trusts at all anymore while the person who never trusted might go on to becoming a trusting person in the long run!
The people who trust too much are usually out of fuel by the time they FINALLY meet someone worth their time & who will give the same back
Whereas the people who don't trust enough will most likely learn how to trust as time goes on! What helps the people who don't trust at all is that people tend to gravitate more towards the people they can't have, want to tame or who stands as a challenge.
"The challenge" & the fact that many people are always up for one is something that works in a commitment-phobes favor b/c they'll always have someone standing in line to snatch & tame them. It's not fair & sucks, but it is what it is...hence the reason "bad guys" often get more play than the "good guys."
Whereas the people who don't trust enough will most likely learn how to trust as time goes on! What helps the people who don't trust at all is that people tend to gravitate more towards the people they can't have, want to tame or who stands as a challenge.
"The challenge" & the fact that many people are always up for one is something that works in a commitment-phobes favor b/c they'll always have someone standing in line to snatch & tame them. It's not fair & sucks, but it is what it is...hence the reason "bad guys" often get more play than the "good guys."
Posted by krysrenee7
The people who trust too much are usually out of fuel by the time they FINALLY meet someone worth their time & who will give the same back
Whereas the people who don't trust enough will most likely learn how to trust as time goes on! What helps the people who don't trust at all is that people tend to gravitate more towards the people they can't have, want to tame or who stands as a challenge.
"The challenge" & the fact that many people are always up for one is something that works in a commitment-phobes favor b/c they'll always have someone standing in line to snatch & tame them. It's not fair & sucks, but it is what it is...hence the reason "bad guys" often get more play than the "good guys."
Crazy way of looking at things but I like it... alot...
PM
Posted by tiziani
Can't say I feel the same way. Ending up in a relationship with a woman who wants me because she feels like she can't have me is my own personal nightmare and believe me it is exhausting. I went through that and I'm never going back.
Yeah I see your point too
I'm actually against dating out of your league. I feel like the challenge aspect of it is there, yes, but once the challenge phase wears off, I'm not sure if the relationship will have any real quality or anything in common, ya know?!
It'll always be 1 person who has an inflated ego b/c they know you're not in their league, while the other person is always desperately trying to tame you b/c they fear that 1 day the fact that they were never on your level is what will inevitably be the reason for the straying or the ending. Yeah, I get it
Posted by krysrenee7Posted by tiziani
Yeah I see your point too
I'm actually against dating out of your league. I feel like the challenge aspect of it is there, yes, but once the challenge phase wears off, I'm not sure if the relationship will have any real quality or anything in common, ya know?!
It'll always be 1 person who has an inflated ego b/c they know you're not in their league, while the other person is always desperately trying to tame you b/c they fear that 1 day the fact that they were never on your level is what will inevitably be the reason for the straying or the ending. Yeah, I get itclick to expand
After charting enough I can say it more has to do with mental... then anything... people just seem to want a type... or are attracted to them... it is about yen and yang... looks display health is all and can help... but mental in the end is the biggest factor...
I can't quite my Aqua... habit... I would say Scorpio and I just know I should say away from Pisces... I don't mind gems but they don't like guys that are direct as my Aries can be...
the problem is I can adjust myself... but have realized when it comes to love I should not do that... and just be myself...
Every aqua I have been with things I am amazing... good looking... smart and romantic... they like my direct view...
I love the female airyness about them... I can't describe it but I can pick aqua's out of anywhere... based just on looks... and then I can tell more once we get to talking...
PM
I get it. To some, finding someone that is a mystery is what they consider sexy! They like something challenging & hard to tame b/c it gives them a purpose/something to do.
Some people can't function unless they've constantly got their hands full with puzzles. Some people can't function unless they have something in their hands that they can fix or change. Some people may not even consider you "their type" or worth it if they feel that you're not going through enough trouble to stand by them despite the fact that they constantly take you through all these unnecessary obstacle courses. Some people measure their own worth by how many people they can fix, change or figure out.
May seem crazy to others, but to the people who are like this, it makes perfect sense. By the end of their lifetime, they're probably tired, drained & mad as hell lol but nonetheless, it still makes sense to them
I like a little bit of mystery in the beginning b/c I've always believed in the old saying that the things that are worth it aren't always easy. BUT there has to be a point where you can actually sit down & actually enjoy the relationship too lol You can't do that if you're still chasing or trying to put the pieces together
Some people can't function unless they've constantly got their hands full with puzzles. Some people can't function unless they have something in their hands that they can fix or change. Some people may not even consider you "their type" or worth it if they feel that you're not going through enough trouble to stand by them despite the fact that they constantly take you through all these unnecessary obstacle courses. Some people measure their own worth by how many people they can fix, change or figure out.
May seem crazy to others, but to the people who are like this, it makes perfect sense. By the end of their lifetime, they're probably tired, drained & mad as hell lol but nonetheless, it still makes sense to them
I like a little bit of mystery in the beginning b/c I've always believed in the old saying that the things that are worth it aren't always easy. BUT there has to be a point where you can actually sit down & actually enjoy the relationship too lol You can't do that if you're still chasing or trying to put the pieces together
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