Who here have been in a long marriage relationship

Why do you think it has works for you and your partner? How do you keep your love alive and are you still loving each other or just happy and content with living your lives together? What about the 7 year itches? Do you get them and how do you handle it?

Yes, I'm in a long term relationship with my husband ..... we will celebrate our 31st anniversary this year.

We are polar opposites .. me Pisces, him Virgo ... and we are reasonably the same in terms of what we want out of life and for ourselves, so eventhough our ways of going about it are different, the goal is the same.

There are several factors that have ensured our marital success ....

1. we don't fight, ever .... we discuss our life together, good and bad - normally, a problem doesn't arise because we figured it out before it became an issue. Like was said "communication"

2. we don't have to be right .... he knows stuff that I cannot even begin to grasp, and I know about things that he doesn't get ... so instead of having to be right, we bow down to each other, and step aside.

this is probably the #1 relationship issue people face today .... people have this intense feeling that wells up inside of them, in where they refuse to be wrong. And how absurd is that, really?

Stand tall beside your partner and have faith that he knows what he is talking about, and in turn your partner will regard you with the upmost trust, because you believed in him.

it's really that simple.

3. we respect each others differences .... I'm sappy, will weep during a sad movie, will gush when I see someone or animal hurt, I even start crying when I see someone chop down a tree. He's so rigid emotionally that you wonder if he feels at all - he does. He never flinches, and eyes never tear over ... but, that's who he is. He NEVER treats me like I should stop crying, and I NEVER treat him like he should be.

because we are different ... and we don't force each other to be anything other than who they are


To this day, we still are like newlyweds, and people who meet us for the first time think we are. We talk to each other via phone or text all day long. In fact, it's 9:10 am here now, he left at 7:10 this morning and we've talked on the phone 3 times already.

We shop together, beit the mall, Lowes, and all inbetween. We cook together, we do laundry together, he will vacuum while I dust.

We are partners, we do things FOR each other constantly ... 30 years strong

Trust is an issue that a lot of people face ..... we don't have this problem.

I am an extremely emotional person ... Cancer Moon, you know .... and to my emotions is where I need him to be faithful.

And he is. He has never let me down emotionally, he is right there holding me every step of the way.

He's male, and is going to act like one .. and I accept that. Does he look at other woman? Of course! Does he talk to his buds about skirt chasing? Of course. I'm not going to scold him or be upset at him because he is full of testosterone, and I'm not.

to my feelings he is utterly loyal and faithful .... I trust him with my life that he will be there for me when I am in emotional dire straights.

So, I therefore, have never had the need to fuck with his head to try and make him make me feel special, so therefore, never have I given him any reason to fear other men in his territory .... and territory is what it's all about with men.

he knows that I'm completely devoted to him ... so he trusts me implicitly. Do I fuck up? Of course.

But, to him and by his side, I never waiver from that position, no matter how wrong he is. And in the end, when he realizes that everyone has taken advantage of him (which is the Virgo nature), except for me, because I am grateful for everything he stands for him my life ... he knows that I will die before I forsake him.

trust between us is absolute and it is so because he desire to be

* we


trust between us is absolute and it is so because we desire it to be

Thank you for the insights P-Angel. That's worth saving. My longest relationship was 7 years. We were compatible in some areas, incompatible in others. But the real reason we did not get married was that he was a taker, never a giver, and I just couldn't live that way the rest of my life. We are still on friendly terms, but don't speak regularly. He is missed, but I think he's better off now and myself as well.

I don't know too much about this, but I'd really rather not fight. Fights can be nasty. People are going to have disagreements sure, but can you keep yourself from getting nasty and can you keep yourself from walking away?

My grandmother used to say, "Don't go to bed angry." That level of commitment to the relationship seems key. You have to be able to forgive people pretty quickly in order to achieve that.

The longest relationships I've had were pretty much based on the idea that we weren't going to just walk away at the drop of a hat, and we had to work on our communication in order to avoid disagreements that became "fights."

I think the type of communication that she's talking about takes time and commitment in order to develop between two people who really want to be together.

21 and 31 years!! Well Done to both of you. I know it's no walk in the park after giving up on mine 20 years into the relationship!

Not sure that I regret that, I don't think much anymore about that life... but finding someone else that you can mutually love, respect and put up with through thick and thin isn't an easy task as you can see IRL and here in DXP land.

These things below, I personal feel are really important in a relationship VVVVV

and we are reasonably the same in terms of what we want out of life and for ourselves, so eventhough our ways of going about it are different, the goal is the same.


we don't have to be right .... he knows stuff that I cannot even begin to grasp, and I know about things that he doesn't get ... so instead of having to be right, we bow down to each other, and step aside.

Stand tall beside your partner and have faith that he knows what he is talking about, and in turn your partner will regard you with the upmost trust, because you believed in him.


we respect each others differences

But, to him and by his side, I never waiver from that position, no matter how wrong he is. And in the end, when he realizes that everyone has taken advantage of him (which is the Virgo nature), except for me, because I am grateful for everything he stands for him my life ... he knows that I will die before I forsake him.

I was married 17 years and honestly, I dont remember anything from it, only taking care of our children and going to work. It was one of these karmic marriages that made both people suffer and served their purpose. We got married very young, had children immediately, but I was never in love with him, he was very closed emotionally, we grew apart. The spark was lacking at the beginning. I know it sounds cruel, but I can say that one LD relationship I had later with someone I saw only 3 days (but pined for for 3 years) transformed me a lot more than these 17 years with my husband. I dont know why we didnt divorce before.
And now when I here people talking about their 20-30 year marriages... it does nothing to me because I know that you can live all your life with someone, but still be distant. The numbers are just numbers.

Posted by P-Angel

we don't have to be right .... he knows stuff that I cannot even begin to grasp, and I know about things that he doesn't get ... so instead of having to be right, we bow down to each other, and step aside.

Stand tall beside your partner and have faith that he knows what he is talking about, and in turn your partner will regard you with the upmost trust, because you believed in him.

it's really that simple.

we respect each others differences ... because we are different ... and we don't force each other to be anything other than who they are

Posted by P-Angel
Trust is an issue that a lot of people face ..... we don't have this problem.

I am an extremely emotional person ... Cancer Moon, you know .... and to my emotions is where I need him to be faithful.

And he is. He has never let me down emotionally, he is right there holding me every step of the way.

He's male, and is going to act like one .. and I accept that. Does he look at other woman? Of course! Does he talk to his buds about skirt chasing? Of course. I'm not going to scold him or be upset at him because he is full of testosterone, and I'm not.

to my feelings he is utterly loyal and faithful .... I trust him with my life that he will be there for me when I am in emotional dire straights.

So, I therefore, have never had the need to fuck with his head to try and make him make me feel special, so therefore, never have I given him any reason to fear other men in his territory .... and territory is what it's all about with men.

he knows that I'm completely devoted to him ... so he trusts me implicitly. Do I fuck up? Of course.

But, to him and by his side, I never waiver from that position, no matter how wrong he is. And in the end, when he realizes that everyone has taken advantage of him (which is the Virgo nature), except for me, because I am grateful for everything he stands for him my life ... he knows that I will die before I forsake him.

trust between us is absolute and it is so because he desire to be

click to expand

such wise words of experience. wow P... so appreciated. love you

I think you're pretty amazing too, Shellshocker 🙂