Why does my husband show an extreme lack of empathy for my feelings?

This topic was created in the Relationships forum by Sapphire23 on Saturday, August 11, 2018 and has 6 replies.
Whenever I tell my husband he said or did something that hurt me or made me feel uncomfortable he immediately dismisses my concerns. When I come to him instead of him showing concern and compassion for my well being he will criticize me and say "I'm whining." or "having an attitude." or he'll say, "I'm not talking about this anymore." This is why nothing gets resolved between us. When I tell him how I feel he will listen sometimes but constantly diminish my feelings entirely and the issue he caused altogether. Instead of responding with care and concern he responds aggressively or defensively with a victim complex. Instead of working together with me to solve the issue and make things better he'll make me feel guilty and ashamed for feeling the way I do and change the topic and describe only good things he's DONE for me but not good things he's said to me. Everytime I'm talking about me and how I feel he constantly interupts me sometimes he'll even tell me to shut up right when I start to talk or in the middle of when I'm talking. When he interupts me he turns the whole entire conversation onto himself and will only talk about how HE feels. Rather than seeking to better understand me and relate to me as a person, he uses the opportunity to vent and compare his problems to mine at all times. For example, "You've only had one problem in your entire life you've never been through anything I been through." "You've never been hurt as much as I have." Very often he'll bring up painful events from his childhood or hurt from his ex-girlfriends. I don't mind listening to him at all I always take a deep interest in him and what he has to say as it helps me to get to know him better and understand him as a person. I drop everything and always listen to him with love and compassion even if he tells me the same story over 20 times I still listen. As a result I feel like I'm being totally emotionally neglected. I feel like I'm more invested into his feelings and his needs but I don't feel that in return. I feel like he's not reciprocating everything I'm giving to him.The more he ignores my feelings the more angry and depressed I get.
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WHY TA FUCK ARE YOU STILL WITH HIM???

My patient was abused by her husband. Then she got a lawyer and told her what’s what. Dragged divorce for years. Last time she went to the lawyer - lawyer said ‘are you still with him? So you DESERVE everything he is doing to you’...THEN she got divorce!!!

See where I am going with it?

FUCK!!! That’s ridiculous!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Get out for your own well being
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Posted by -sierra-

i recall you're both christians who married only after 3 months of knowing each other.. and i believe you've been married 8 months now? what are your signs anyway?

he compares you to his exes, wants you to get fat, doesn't give a shit about your feelings and only probably married you to 'get intimate' as you say.. you married quick so why not dump his azz quick too?
...because then she wouldn’t be married...
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Sorry that you have to go thru this Sad

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You again. Some people never learn.

You knew from the start he was a dickwad and yet you married him only after like 3-4 months of knowing him. Stupidity has consequences. You only got yourself to blame.

Next time, wise up.

/thread
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