Why is he talking about a million other girls—

Background: I have a guy friend who I have known for about two years now.. we basically talk on the phone for hours on end every few weeks or so. It was clear to me from the beginning that he liked me because he implied it through our deep conversations and just the way he was with me, however I was not as open with him for a long time. Last year however we had a big disagreement where he started calling me fake and told me to leave him alone etc because he heard some crap from this girl I knew. I assumed he thought I was fake because I didn't tell him that I actually really like him, so i eventually got the courage to message him and let him know. It took a lot of convincing on my part for him to talk to me again, at least for five or six months he wouldn't reply to my messages or respond to my calls.

Recently after this period of six months or so I decided to call him up and he actually decided to pick up my call. There was no mention of our disagreement from months back at all and he was completely normal with me and we ended up having a very meaningful conversation. He sounded really glad to be talking to me after such a long time and I could tell that nothing much had changed in terms of his feelings. He told me that he was genuinely having a good conversation and told me to stay in contact with him.

The second time that we spoke he rung me. This conversation was no way near as deep as the previous conversation. It was very lighthearted and jokey and also there was a difference in that he didn't ask me many personal questions like he did before. I just got a very different vibe. The only thing that stuck in my mind after we spoke this time around was the amount of girls he was mentioning. At first it sounded like he was making conversation, like how one topic leads to another. It then turned in to having to hear a half an hours worth of " this girl was flirting with me " and " this girl is soooo hot so I was checking her out" and " this girl invited me over to her house" and " this girl asked to meet up with me". He probably talked about six different girls one after another. He was talking to me like he was talking to another guy friend as opposed to a girl who he is supposed to like and vice versa or like a potential.

I reacted to it all in a very cool manner and treated it like something I was not bothered about at all and encouraged him to continue as he was. In my head I was thinking wtf.

I would like to know, is this normal?? To be talking about sooo many girls to someone you are supposed to have feelings for? Or did he not realise what he was saying? or did he think nothing of it as if he was just talking in a general way about lots of hot girls.

I am definitely not a jealous person. But all this conversation seemed to bring out was some questions of my own about whether he really cares or about how he is surrounded by so many other attractive girls who are chatting him up all the time and how any second he could just shift his interest from me to one of them.

and it just seemed like these two conversations I had with him were with two different people. The first who is getting to know the girl that he likes.. and asking about her future plans and ambitions.. and the second someone who is having a very casual conversation about pretty girls with his friend who he does not see in any other way.

He is confusing to the maximum

lol i kno everyone here is in to their starsigns sooo.... he is a CAPRICORN and I am a virgo

He broke up with you because he thought you were false .. you chase him for 6 months until he finally decides to talk to you again ... and now you are saying he is suppose to have feelings for you?


I don't get you .. how do you equate him talking to you as having feelings for you?


This is what I see happening = you chase him for 6 months, sending him calls and texts which he ignores. He ignores because he doesn't want to be your boyfriend, btw .... so finally he decides that he's going to have to find another way to get through to you, so he rings you to talk about other women, hoping like hell that would get through to you.

Oh, you're a virgo .... well that explains alot.

Posted by candy10

.... talking about sooo many girls to someone you are supposed to have feelings for?

:::: shakes head ::::


He doesn't have loving feelings for you, that's why he broke up with you saying you were a fake person to him.

For some unknown reason, you falsely believe he is suppose to have feelings for you based on the fact that he picked up the phone one day, and acted like his normal self.

we never had a relationship. hence I said FRIEND.

i did NOT chase him... I called him once or twice in 6 months to TRY AND EXPLAIN A SITUATION WHICH GOT OUT OF HAND BECAUSE some girl we both knew stirred some rubbish about how I said he CHASES AFTER ME. WHich i NEVER did.

THAT Is it.



I know he has feelings because I have spoken to him over a period of at least two years or more.

so lets assume for arguments sake he does. and then go back to what i am asking—

so funny how people can b so f****g judgmental LOLLL. i jst asked a simple question

i could tell you all the specifics about how i KNOW .. but I do not want to reveal absolutely everything on here.

Posted by candy10
we never had a relationship. hence I said FRIEND.

Well, that makes you look even more dense.

As a friend, he isn't bound to respecting your feelings as it pertains to girls he is attracted to .... when the idea of your misjudgement about how he is suppose to treat you is put to you to answer ... you say he's only a friend, and never a participant in a relationship.


I actually feel sorry for Virgos, to be honest ... you will have clue as to the reality of the situation no matter what.

Posted by candy10

I would like to know, is this normal?? To be talking about sooo many girls to someone you are supposed to have feelings for? Or did he not realise what he was saying? or did he think nothing of it as if he was just talking in a general way about lots of hot girls.

To even have to answer your questions, only makes you look denser still .... because your questions lay outside the scope of the reality of the situation .. but, here goes anyway, which btw, helps to prove my own insanity for even considering to answer you ....

Is it normal for him to talk about girls? Yes, because he is your friend and not your boyfriend.

Is it normal considering he is suppose to have feelings for you? Yes, because he doesn't have feelings for you. That you think he is suppose to, doesn't mean he does, it means you want him to.

Did he realize what he was saying? Yes, because he doesn't know that you have in your mind that his intentions are other than his actual intentions.

Did he think nothing of it? Yes, because friends are suppose to be able discuss how they feel about other people.



However, I'm certain that the actual motivation is much different ... so those answers don't apply. He tells you about the other women to try and get through to you.

He broke up with you .... he doesn't want you to call him or text him. And since you insist on having contact with him .. he is trying a different avenue in getting through to you.

I feel sorry for you ... because it's a really simple concept.

Posted by P-Angel

I actually feel sorry for Virgos, to be honest ... you will have clue as to the reality of the situation no matter what.

* won't


.... you won't have a clue as to the reality of the situation no matter what.

Posted by candy10

i did NOT chase him... I called him once or twice in 6 months to TRY AND EXPLAIN A SITUATION WHICH GOT OUT OF HAND BECAUSE some girl we both knew stirred some rubbish about how I said he CHASES AFTER ME. WHich i NEVER did.

THAT Is it.

Posted by candy10

It took a lot of convincing on my part for him to talk to me again, at least for five or six months he wouldn't reply to my messages or respond to my calls.

click to expand

o.............k then. you're an idiot.
and this has been a total waste of time lol.. i'll stick to asking friends.

you have taken everything I have said in entirely the WRONG way. so it makes me wonder how INTELLIGENT u actually are. but thanks anyway. not.

Posted by candy10

He sounded really glad to be talking to me after such a long time and I could tell that nothing much had changed in terms of his feelings.

You had to convince him into even talking to you because you cannot comprehend that he doesnt' want to be your boyfriend ... so how reliable is your ability to know what his feelings are ??

His feelings are = he thinks you're a fake person. He wasn't even your boyfriend, according to you ... so why are you smothering this ??


Leave him alone .... for Christs Sake

I can handle being an idiot ... can you?


So, enlighten me then if I got the wrong message here .... what is the reality ?

I am viewing things in both an objective and subjective manner. you have no clue as to what he thinks of me.. you are assuming the worst. i have no idea why and it is of no use for me to hear your skeptical/disillusioned/hateful comments.

LOOOLL.. you just dont seem to understaand that we are two people who are potentials and really good friends. i am not looking for him to be anything right now.. dont u get this—?

he called me last? surely if what you are thinking is true he would not be contacting me.. or even telling me to keep in touch with him?? or have u completely missed this—?? :O

he was angry at me... very very very angry at me because a person i had known told him that I was bitching about him>—
do you understand this?? that is the reason why he did not want to speak to me.... before this we had a very good friendship.

another reason why I know what he thinks is..he is spending hours on the phone to me and asking me about what the future hold? about marriage... when i want to get married. etc.. these are just examples. if you knew everything you would probably change your mind.

Posted by candy10

LOOOLL.. you just dont seem to understaand that we are two people who are potentials and really good friends. i am not looking for him to be anything right now.. dont u get this—?

he called me last? surely if what you are thinking is true he would not be contacting me.. or even telling me to keep in touch with him?? or have u completely missed this—??

I got that you two are friends. Do you get that because of you two being platonic that he is allowed to talk about the women he likes without you getting your feelings hurt?

Ok, so he called you ... so what? I called 3 of my friends yesterday.

ok the deal is.. if i was to make you understand how i know he likes me.. this could take me forever.. it would become an essay.

of course I dont mind him talking about other girls.. but the extent to which he was makes me wonder if he had other intentions.. for example..hes testing me... trying to see how i react.. this kind of thing.

Posted by candy10

I assumed he thought I was fake because I didn't tell him that I actually really like him, so i eventually got the courage to message him and let him know. It took a lot of convincing on my part for him to talk to me again, at least for five or six months he wouldn't reply to my messages or respond to my calls.

Do you 'get' that you spent two years (or however long) participating in a relationship with a man to whom you wanted for him to want you as more than friends, while expecting his part of the relating to coincide with him treating you according to what you never told him of how you felt?

Not until he didn't want to be your friend .. did you even decide to come clean and actually tell him how you feel .... and now he's suppose to take responsibility for that in treating you like you deserve something more?

Posted by candy10
he was angry at me... very very very angry at me because a person i had known told him that I was bitching about him>—
do you understand this?? that is the reason why he did not want to speak to me.... before this we had a very good friendship.

another reason why I know what he thinks is..he is spending hours on the phone to me and asking me about what the future hold? about marriage... when i want to get married. etc.. these are just examples. if you knew everything you would probably change your mind.

yes, i got he was angry with you .... 6 fucking months ago


Now you say he talks marriage ... after you realize that your story doesn't hold water. Before, when you thought people would be oblivious and just go along with what you're saying eventhough it doesnt' make sense ... you said that you've only talked to him twice, and the second call was him telling you about his love-life, which didnt' include you.


So, which is it? Which one is the truth? Was he talking about marriage with you, or about his women he wants to bend over ?

The problem on your end is that you are stuck in the past.


You still want to mend his anger from 6 months ago.



You know, a fool will lose tomorrow - reaching back for yesterday

yes of course i understand all of this. i know i waited a long time. but at the end of the day he knows now.
i told him what kind of person i am.. that i do not reveal what i really think all the time.. i keep it all inside.
therefore i've come to the conlusion that he is testing me now. to see how i react to these girls to see if i actually do feel this way.

because in these two years.. he has never even once spoken about another girl.. so i find it odd how he is now after he knows the truth!

Posted by candy10

another reason why I know what he thinks is..he is spending hours on the phone to me and asking me about what the future hold? about marriage... when i want to get married. etc.. these are just examples. if you knew everything you would probably change your mind.

No way I would change my mind ... I've got this whole thing figured out with what you've said already. He's trying to shake you, and because you have feelings for him, you cannot see the reality of the situation .. only the deluded version you have in your head.

Yes, I know ... the truth coming out that harsh is too hard to take. Well, here's a wake up call to you .... all truths are hard to take, no matter how they are presented.


Those talks of marriage and the future — Yeah, those were 6 months ago, I'd wager.

yes i swear on my life hes spoken about marriage... my story does hold water.lol... its just like i said if i was to spill out every single detail... i could be writing pages and pages. and who wants to hear that? so i just made it brief

no marriage came up in the conversation we had in the last weeks. not 6 months.. so in the present time

hes not angry anymore.. he is fine now

Posted by candy10

yes of course i understand all of this. i know i waited a long time. but at the end of the day he knows now.
i told him what kind of person i am.. that i do not reveal what i really think all the time.. i keep it all inside.
therefore i've come to the conlusion that he is testing me now. to see how i react to these girls to see if i actually do feel this way.

because in these two years.. he has never even once spoken about another girl.. so i find it odd how he is now after he knows the truth!

He doesn't care. You have yourself believing that he is suppose to care about you in the way that you want him to .... when he doesn't. Why is that so hard to get?

So, you'll see it as a test to see how loyal you are to him?

You chased him, you spent 6 months calling and texting him .... trying to convince him that you are different from what he gathered himself about your integrity during a 2 year relation. And because he answers the phone .. you know have yourself believing that he would only do that if he likes you the way you want him to ... because you told him during that time frame how you really felt?


what will it take to get you to see you are stuck inside a fantasy?

I get he isn't angry anymore .... jesus christ, are you dense? Why would you say that? You think I need that clarification?


I can't take it ... people are just too stupid for me to communicate with.


Sorry, suffer as you wish in your delusion ... I can't take it.

I'm finished with you .... you aren't going to get it. Even if people come in here nicely, you will still be asking the same question of ....


... why does a man who broke up with me not treat me like his girlfriend now 6 months later ??





And I can't ... my head just can't handle that level of stupidity.

Seriously .. sorry, but, that's how I feel.

Out

wow is all i can say to your responses

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by P-Angel

I actually feel sorry for Virgos, to be honest ... you will have clue as to the reality of the situation no matter what.

* won't


.... you won't have a clue as to the reality of the situation no matter what.

click to expand

Hunnie...u are not lying! I had a old Virgo bestie who would get blinded buy shiny things and guys with big rims and money. I took her to my virgo dudes house one day and she went nuts over his apartment and car. The next thing I know ..the 2 are dating,.... BEHIND my back. fast forward 6 years. They have a kid together. She still trys to contact me and be friends...and brag about what he buys her LOL. ITS LIKe "YOU DUMB BITCH... HOW IN THE HELL WOULD YOU THINK I STILL WANNA BE YOUR FRIEND?!" Am i supposedto go to the wedding? I F'd the groom u DITZ!" smh dingy broad LOL

Havent talked to her since 2004 =)
Me-scorpio

After 3 pages of "the angel's" redundancy, you should just wait until someone else answers your questions instead of responding to her every post. I will say this though: If you are confused about anything be straight forward with him and ask questions. Don't pretend as if him mentioning other women is not affecting you. You won't get anywhere that way.

@Candy10:

None of us know the whole story so don't be surprised if none of us give advice that is totally on point. We can only go off of what we've been given

This guy brought up different women for 1 of 2 reasons:
1. He's NOT that into you anymore, thus he sees you as just a friend. From that perspective, what's so wrong with a friend telling another friend about their dating life (which includes well, girls)?

2. He's testing you to see how you feel about him b/c he figures that if you still had feelings for him that you'd show some form of jealousy or resentment towards everything he mentioned to you about other women. He figured that he'd measure whether or not you've moved on from him based on how you reacted to his stories

Honestly, you 2 haven't spoken in so long, so you shouldn't expect the connection to still be there, or atleast not be as strong. Alot can happen in 6+ months. That "fire/flaim" will only be alive but for so long

He probably really is talking to other women, thus his feelings for you are not the same, which explains why he is comfortable discussing other women with you.

He can't read your mind. And it's not fair for you to come back into his life after so long & automatically expect monogamy or exclusiveness. YES, the man has probably dated/slept with numerous girls since you 2 fell off. It doesn't take everybody a lifetime to move on

If you want that loyalty/connection with him again, you 2 have to REBUILD it instead of expecting it to have been untouched the whole time you 2 weren't talking.

You both have to start all over again & rebuild that connection. And then who knows, IF that's even possible, then he may go back to being the same ole guy who only dated/was exclusive with you.

And having 2 conversations after a 6+ month clash is NOT the same as rebuilding a connection.

You guys need to start from square 1 & see IF the fire/flame is even still there before either of you start expecting anything from the other.

If he's blindly/naively talking about other women & assuming that doing so doesn't bother you, then you need to speak up or else he'll continue to assume that you're ok with him sharing his dating life with you.

I'd be willing to bet that he's got you in the "friend" category. If that's the case, he probably doesn't see anything harmful or offensive about him discussing other women with him.

Don't take this the wrong way, but if you want him so bad, stop worrying about his relations with other women & step YOUR game up

Even if he had never shared those stories with you, you should've still automatically assumed that he had dated other women while you 2 had fell out vs. assuming that the whole time he was at home, stuck on the couch & harping over you.

I may have missed this, but what sign is he?

He sounds like a sag based on how he was acting and the way he was talking about all those girls.

If he is, he's moved on.

A month later, you made 2 more threads about this.


How long are you going to chase him before the light goes off in your head.


Dense much?

P Angel....PLEASE go away with your negativity, why do you remind me of the Wicked Witch of the West(or was she the east?) from The Wizard of Oz?....when she was picking on Toto...the little dog? Just to be mean...

"Never say never" in any relationship situation....this is a true story that happened to my friend..
They broke up/fizzled out...not sure who ended it, but it does not matter.

She dates other people and he does too...
TWO years later she's driving down the road after her dad dies...her cell rings and its him, he had heard about her dad...
They talk for two hours or longer...and are back together now.

Now he never called her, all that time, 2 years!!...but guess what...she never left his mind...and vice versa.

Now one could say..."oh my they haven't spoken, it's over" "oh my he's not calling her" but look it was two years and no contact. Now certain people on here would have said "Oh move on he's not calling you or contacting you, he does not want you" and it could not have been further from the truth!!! Now I am not advocating "chasing" anyone, but I am saying you never know what the real truth is.

And to relate a little story that sort of relates to him talking about other girls to the poster...

The guy I was seeing (we had reconnected and were dating again) and I went out to dinner...we talked about golf,and I mentioned that I had a crush on a certain pro golfer..very innocently. He got this look on his face and said, "Yea you know his wife is pretty hot too" Well at first I was taken aback...but after some thought weeks later I realized he never thought this woman was hot..he was trying to make me JEALOUS in return for my comment!!!!!! To sort of get back at me. It was like a light bulb went off. He was a Cap too..if that means anything
So it MAY be a tactic...I have done that many times when I am interested in someone to make them think they have competition...yes I know its game playing...but who hasn't done it?

Just thought I would bump this thread ...... now it's 2 years later, and she's still stuck in her delusion ....


now this time, she says things like ... why would a guy who wants to marry me treat me like this ....



::: shakes head :::

Posted by ellessque

Posted by P-Angel
A fool will lose tomorrow - reaching back for yesterday

I like this.

click to expand

Me too, it's not mine .... it belongs to our late John Lennon

a million other girls? busy guy