Why men do give women a second chance???
This topic was created in the Relationships forum by Cuteforsure1 on Tuesday, January 23, 2018 and has 48 replies.
I want to know why a man can’t set aside his pride and give a woman a second chance?? Women do it all the time! Does anyone have any good advice on this?
Sorry everyone I meant to say Why Can’t a Man Give a woman a Second Chance!
Well said Ellygant🙏
How you know you're not on your 5th chance?
I know.. we have had a thing for 10 years, the cancer and Scorpio soul mate stuff, then one night he really wanted me to come out and I couldn’t... he took it as rejection and pulled away! I didn’t know what hit me, that was 3 years ago and I’ve apologized, only seen him 2 times since then and when he saw me fir the first time again he pulled away again , yet he will talk to me everyday from morning until night but when I ask if he wants to hang out you know what he says?? “ I have lots of friends o don’t see or talk to but we’re still friends , sorry but I just don’t see us hanging out “ now you tell me what this means?!?! Your ok as long as you don’t see me? Because you feel vulnerable when you do? And you got that Big Wall up still ?????
I mean is it true if you just stop and practice the No Contact Rule, that they come around again? This type is used to control, mind games and Testing!!! Lots of testing because they don’t give their hearts out freely! I passed those tests but the minute I said no? I got thrown out on my A** and the silent treatment
Because he is my love and this is something that can be fixed! I mean it’s coneva long way.. before we weren’t talking st all... now we were until Sunday when he said he doesn’t see us hanging out! My response was “ I’m sorry you feel like that “ abd I just stopped and walked ... I haven’t text him and he hasn’t text me!!! He doesn’t trust me with his heart.... and his Pride abd Ego is bigger then his heart abd I’m so Angry of this behaviour ... because I know he cares about me, would rather go to his death than Show Me!!
He’s a Scorpio born October 29 1971 abd I’m a cancer born July 8 1972.. I don’t know our times... but he is that mars Pluto thing that’s for sure! Thanks ladie you are all helping me with your warm words! ❤️
I never look back, just forward.
Nothing was intentional I just couldn’t go out because I had to work early in the mmorning and it has never been the same since then..
I just mean like I won’t contact him because I said and did what I could do I’m just not going to contact him anymore
Because we have Egos. Cheating, being disrespected in front of friends etc. can make us feel, emasculated, disrespected and humiliated. We want to look good, we want to be and perceived as men.
Woman want love, men want respect.
All of everyone’s comments and is advice is helpful👍
Posted by EllygantAs valid as that is Elly, when does a strong couple become a delusional couple ?
Because women are taught that they need to have a relationship and must always secure one and men are taught the opposite.
If you have a love that’s based off of reciprocation, depth and devotion though it’s different. Couples that I know who have strong foundations tend to fight for each other. Second chances aren’t really a thing because coming together is a natural process, not relationship probation.
That line is very thin, and when crossed they may be fighting for something that is not there. Fitting a square peg into a round hole, even when those corners are shaven to fit, will end up with something missing.
TheTinMan LOL
@Cuteforsure1, the way I see it, it is much less about second chances and more so about choices.
At every turn in life, we give up one pathway for another. In the hopes, that the path we have chosen to walk down will be fruitful and will leave us fulfilled. An informed gamble if you will, there are always risks involved or consequences of our choices. This applies in relationships as well, at times, it reaches a point where the two people may not want to walk down the same pathway. It that a fault of either of the individuals involved, I do not think so. Life happens, choices are made, priorities may change, people grow. It has less to do with pride, or love, but about ones own will, and ones own want / needs. Our choices, define the love we eventually give and receive.
At every turn in life, we give up one pathway for another. In the hopes, that the path we have chosen to walk down will be fruitful and will leave us fulfilled. An informed gamble if you will, there are always risks involved or consequences of our choices. This applies in relationships as well, at times, it reaches a point where the two people may not want to walk down the same pathway. It that a fault of either of the individuals involved, I do not think so. Life happens, choices are made, priorities may change, people grow. It has less to do with pride, or love, but about ones own will, and ones own want / needs. Our choices, define the love we eventually give and receive.
Posted by EllygantTrue, but delusions hurt. They create pain when the practicality of life settles in. Precisely so, moments of romanticism is pleasant, a prolonged phase of that high is a sheer nightmare.Posted by TheLadyScorpioI’ve never known any happy couple to not have a little delusion sprinkled in their relationship at some point. Afterall, most romance is a dressed up delusion. Any logical person knows that the soaring high of love won’t last forever, but we still enjoy being captured in those romantic moments. We hold onto them in crisis and re-evaluate their worth when it’s impossible to see the relationship survive. The type of love I admire, those people, they just love. They find a way to work it out when the truly want each other.Posted by EllygantAs valid as that is Elly, when does a strong couple become a delusional couple ?
Because women are taught that they need to have a relationship and must always secure one and men are taught the opposite.
If you have a love that’s based off of reciprocation, depth and devotion though it’s different. Couples that I know who have strong foundations tend to fight for each other. Second chances aren’t really a thing because coming together is a natural process, not relationship probation.
That line is very thin, and when crossed they may be fighting for something that is not there. Fitting a square peg into a round hole, even when those corners are shaven to fit, will end up with something missing.
Wish I could say I’ve experienced such, but hey there’s still time. I’ve seen it enough to believe in it though. I need my hands and toes to count the wonderful couples in my life and that itself lends me to having a more positive disposition towards relationships I suppose.click to expand
Interesting, so you have witnessed couples hold unto those moments of delusion, of romance, as a way to push through difficulties.
How does that benefit them ?
What in that would push them forward ?
That concept fascinates me, I personally would see it as saddening, if not depressing. Perhaps, maybe because I do not see how romance and harsh realities mesh when it comes to solving a crisis between two people on the brink.
Carmelizedcoffee I have no idea what my moon is!!
Posted by Cuteforsure1That doesn’t make any sense. I say drop him totally and move on. Love doesn’t mean holding on to someone that wants you to let go. You shouldn’t be suffering, that is NOT love, I know I had years of unrequited feelings only to realize deep down I really never saw myself in his world but we had an amazing connection(not sexual) and a lot alike. I have come to find that just means we are meant to support eachother along the journey not necessarily meant to be together. Now, I have someone that far surpasses anyone I ever dated or hoped for. There is no drama, no wondering, and if I have moments of insecurity I tell myself to get over it it’s silly and reach out.
Nothing was intentional I just couldn’t go out because I had to work early in the mmorning and it has never been the same since then..
Yeah, love is a struggle but it’s more a personal battle and dealing with our own insecurities and hang ups. Love shouldn’t feel like you are in quick sand or trekking through waist deep mud. Forget this guy completely and the doors will open for the right one. I always say love is around the corner, you just never know which one 😉
Thank you my friend!
I don’t give second chances. Cuz I mean.. look at me.. lol
Finding it hard to believe you got iced out simply because you couldn’t go out and had to work....
What else went on why he feels you were either making up an excuse or lying or seeing someone else??
He didn’t trust you back then for a reason either that or he sounds really immature and threw his toys out of the crib in a tantrum!
What else went on why he feels you were either making up an excuse or lying or seeing someone else??
He didn’t trust you back then for a reason either that or he sounds really immature and threw his toys out of the crib in a tantrum!
There are more women than men in the world. The numbers are in our favors. I don't make the rules.
No reason to lie.. what I say happened is what happened! He felt rejected and fucked off on me... I apologized and there was nobody else! He is the true Scorpio and has the characteristics of an unevolved kind.... we were talking again and I asked him if we could hang out and I asked him if he was comfortable with that or would he prefer to never see me again and he says “ I don’t see us hanging out “ sorry Just being honest ! So deep down his ego is still bruised and he feels vulnerable therefore can’t take a chance in seeing me again because deep down he still cares for me!!!! He didn’t delete me off fb because he still wants a connection to me! Anyone disagree????
Posted by EllygantHah completely off topic now, but Bulls and Bullettes are seemingly strong, concrete, and solid. Yet, I am always surprised to find how very sensitive they truly are.Posted by TheLadyScorpioIdk. It’s just a commaniality I see in every couple that genuinely enjoys each other. You know the kind. They light up a room together. When you speak with them something is different. There is a sense of jovialness and honesty. They’ll crack jokes about the bad times as quickly as the good ones. They’re refreshing to be around.Posted by EllygantTrue, but delusions hurt. They create pain when the practicality of life settles in. Precisely so, moments of romanticism is pleasant, a prolonged phase of that high is a sheer nightmare.Posted by TheLadyScorpioI’ve never known any happy couple to not have a little delusion sprinkled in their relationship at some point. Afterall, most romance is a dressed up delusion. Any logical person knows that the soaring high of love won’t last forever, but we still enjoy being captured in those romantic moments. We hold onto them in crisis and re-evaluate their worth when it’s impossible to see the relationship survive. The type of love I admire, those people, they just love. They find a way to work it out when the truly want each other.Posted by EllygantAs valid as that is Elly, when does a strong couple become a delusional couple ?
Because women are taught that they need to have a relationship and must always secure one and men are taught the opposite.
If you have a love that’s based off of reciprocation, depth and devotion though it’s different. Couples that I know who have strong foundations tend to fight for each other. Second chances aren’t really a thing because coming together is a natural process, not relationship probation.
That line is very thin, and when crossed they may be fighting for something that is not there. Fitting a square peg into a round hole, even when those corners are shaven to fit, will end up with something missing.
Wish I could say I’ve experienced such, but hey there’s still time. I’ve seen it enough to believe in it though. I need my hands and toes to count the wonderful couples in my life and that itself lends me to having a more positive disposition towards relationships I suppose.
Interesting, so you have witnessed couples hold unto those moments of delusion, of romance, as a way to push through difficulties.
How does that benefit them ?
What in that would push them forward ?
That concept fascinates me, I personally would see it as saddening, if not depressing. Perhaps, maybe because I do not see how romance and harsh realities mesh when it comes to solving a crisis between two people on the brink.
I like to interrogate couples. These types always say the same thing. When they’re at the hardest point, when they want to run away or give up or are so fed up with the other person and/or their needs not getting met, what always brings them around is remembering the good times and that if they were partners once, they can do it again. They all finish with the same sentiment.
‘You just make it work.’
‘You figure it out regardless.’
‘You don’t give up.’
They’re happy when they say it too. Not begrudging or miserable.
I like a bit of romanticism with my practicality. Opposites that balance. Too much of one cannot survive without the other. Kind of like astrology. When you see two supposedly opposite signs on an axis, they really both want the same thing but go about it in reverse ways. Each sign balances out the other in the end.
Or maybe that’s just more apparent to me since I recently acquired a Taurus roommate.But I’m facinated by how alike we are, yet how we react oppositely. She remarks all the time how we balance each other. Lol.
click to expand
In adherently, I always seem to end up hurting them, never intentionally. They react to my practical, stoic, and brooding expressions / ways, as a direct attack on them but really I was only in my own world. They are very nurturing though, and my sarcasm seems to hurt them. Most of them are rather simple, in the fact that, there are very specific things that make them happy. Keeping those thoughts in mind, and they are rather happy creatures.
I wonder how you managed to circumvent this issue.
So I guess I’m trying to understand... were you guys dating for 10 years or FWB or ??? Because it doesn’t make sense that having a connection that long and you can’t make it out one night that a reasonable person would throw you way like that? So, I have to wonder what is his underlying reason and quite honestly it doesn’t even matter because this will never work. The universe is saying “NO” to this. Time to move on and find someone meant for you and visa Versa.
The real question is would you think less of him if he set aside his pride?
UnicornSag talk to me
Posted by CaramelizedCoffeeRightPosted by LePewpWrong
There are more women than men in the world. The numbers are in our favors. I don't make the rules.click to expand
There were feelings of unfinished business between us because of what happened!! You know? The Elephant in the Room????
You sound a little nuts and obsessive.
Posted by CaramelizedCoffeeAs a minority I was agreeing with youPosted by LePewpCompletely off. Unless there's a world war. Numbers are pretty even. In some countries there's actually less womenPosted by CaramelizedCoffeeRightPosted by LePewpWrong
There are more women than men in the world. The numbers are in our favors. I don't make the rules.
Stop perpetuating myths
As women age men die off but that's in the later yearsclick to expand
We’re getting off topic... I’m asking why can’t a man give it another chance? I’ve explained in great detail exactly what happened and nothing more and nothing less... we were involved in and off fir a decade, never argued and we always got a long... I know what I did I bruised his Scorpio ego! He felt like I didn’t care about seeing him and I’m not truly forgiven that’s why he can’t abd won’t see me! Last year when he did invite me over? I was dying inside being that close to him and he was nervous, wouldn’t sit near me... he was guarded... I left in tears that night because I didn’t know who this person was anymore... it’s not that easy to just forget someone but believe me after what he said Sunday night??? I’m going on with my life! My Q was, why can’t men seem to give another chance ?
Posted by CaramelizedCoffeePosted by LePewpWhat. ? Ok whateverPosted by CaramelizedCoffeeAs a minority I was agreeing with youPosted by LePewpCompletely off. Unless there's a world war. Numbers are pretty even. In some countries there's actually less womenPosted by CaramelizedCoffeeRightPosted by LePewpWrong
There are more women than men in the world. The numbers are in our favors. I don't make the rules.
Stop perpetuating myths
As women age men die off but that's in the later yearsclick to expand
Asians are still minorities in the state of North Carolina
Sweetie nobody is nuts or obsessive! I don’t drive by anyone’s house, or creep, I simply want to feel better about what happened with my issue and get some insight... if you can’t offer any decent advice? I suggest you fuck off...
I didn’t use the word tree trunk off! The computer did... I was saying Eff Off!!! Now I’m sure you get it!
Posted by CaramelizedCoffeePosted by LePewpWhat does this have to do with your statement that there's more women then men in the worldPosted by CaramelizedCoffeePosted by LePewpWhat. ? Ok whateverPosted by CaramelizedCoffeeAs a minority I was agreeing with youPosted by LePewpCompletely off. Unless there's a world war. Numbers are pretty even. In some countries there's actually less womenPosted by CaramelizedCoffeeRightPosted by LePewpWrong
There are more women than men in the world. The numbers are in our favors. I don't make the rules.
Stop perpetuating myths
As women age men die off but that's in the later years
Asians are still minorities in the state of North Carolina
Why are you trying to confuse me
Omgclick to expand
It's ok we shall all overcome
Posted by Cuteforsure1This is what, your 2nd or 3rd topic about the same dude?
Sweetie nobody is nuts or obsessive! I don’t drive by anyone’s house, or creep, I simply want to feel better about what happened with my issue and get some insight... if you can’t offer any decent advice? I suggest you fuck off...
You won't go into detail on what you "did", but now are throwing a fit about how he doesn't want to give you the time of day, after you put yourself on a pedestal of waiting for him for three whole years! Then proceed to bitch about how he won't give you a chance, and just how mean he is for saying "no thanks".
Your putting off crazy, and obsessive.
Posted by Cuteforsure1Bless your little heart.
What ever honey
Posted by CaramelizedCoffeeNot the first time that's happened to mePosted by LePewpI well kick you off a cliffPosted by CaramelizedCoffeePosted by LePewpWhat does this have to do with your statement that there's more women then men in the worldPosted by CaramelizedCoffeePosted by LePewpWhat. ? Ok whateverPosted by CaramelizedCoffeeAs a minority I was agreeing with youPosted by LePewpCompletely off. Unless there's a world war. Numbers are pretty even. In some countries there's actually less womenPosted by CaramelizedCoffeeRightPosted by LePewpWrong
There are more women than men in the world. The numbers are in our favors. I don't make the rules.
Stop perpetuating myths
As women age men die off but that's in the later years
Asians are still minorities in the state of North Carolina
Why are you trying to confuse me
Omg
It's ok we shall all overcomeclick to expand
Posted by LePewpNY women are especially screwed.
There are more women than men in the world. The numbers are in our favors. I don't make the rules.
Posted by LadyNeptuneHalf of them count as men at times. That's what happens in a rough and tumble cityPosted by LePewpNY women are especially screwed.
There are more women than men in the world. The numbers are in our favors. I don't make the rules.click to expand
Men do give second chances , just depends on the person .. there’s some prideful, stubborn mo fos that would rather die than give a woman that did them dirty a second chance lol
Posted by LePewpAll I know is I wouldn't want to be single and trying to date in that city.Posted by LadyNeptuneHalf of them count as men at times. That's what happens in a rough and tumble cityPosted by LePewpNY women are especially screwed.
There are more women than men in the world. The numbers are in our favors. I don't make the rules.click to expand
Posted by Cuteforsure1
No reason to lie.. what I say happened is what happened! He felt rejected and fucked off on me... I apologized and there was nobody else! He is the true Scorpio and has the characteristics of an unevolved kind.... we were talking again and I asked him if we could hang out and I asked him if he was comfortable with that or would he prefer to never see me again and he says “ I don’t see us hanging out “ sorry Just being honest ! So deep down his ego is still bruised and he feels vulnerable therefore can’t take a chance in seeing me again because deep down he still cares for me!!!! He didn’t delete me off fb because he still wants a connection to me! Anyone disagree????
Who are you kidding here... yourself! if he wanted to see you or still had feelings he wouldn’t hesitate. He dissed you for whatever reason and didn’t contact you for 3 years, you are the one that reached back out 3 years later and still won’t take NO I don’t want to see you at his word.
Everyone here is asking why you are even bothering and you say that he means so much to hoot. Clearly all in your mind because apart from texting you and being polite he doesn’t want anything to do with you. You’re starting to become stalkerish!
Posted by Cuteforsure1
No reason to lie.. what I say happened is what happened! He felt rejected and fucked off on me... I apologized and there was nobody else! He is the true Scorpio and has the characteristics of an unevolved kind.... we were talking again and I asked him if we could hang out and I asked him if he was comfortable with that or would he prefer to never see me again and he says “ I don’t see us hanging out “ sorry Just being honest ! So deep down his ego is still bruised and he feels vulnerable therefore can’t take a chance in seeing me again because deep down he still cares for me!!!! He didn’t delete me off fb because he still wants a connection to me! Anyone disagree????
Who are you kidding here... yourself! if he wanted to see you or still had feelings he wouldn’t hesitate. He dissed you for whatever reason and didn’t contact you for 3 years, you are the one that reached back out 3 years later and still won’t take NO I don’t want to see you at his word.
Everyone here is asking why you are even bothering and you say that he means so much to hoot. Clearly all in your mind because apart from texting you and being polite he doesn’t want anything to do with you. You’re starting to become stalkerish!
Men - do give women another chance. Maybe, just, not that man... but other men might. 😏
Posted by Cuteforsure1"I’ve explained in great detail exactly what happened and nothing more and nothing less... we were involved in and off fir a decade, never argued and we always got a long... I know what I did I bruised his Scorpio ego! "
We’re getting off topic... I’m asking why can’t a man give it another chance? I’ve explained in great detail exactly what happened and nothing more and nothing less... we were involved in and off fir a decade, never argued and we always got a long... I know what I did I bruised his Scorpio ego! He felt like I didn’t care about seeing him and I’m not truly forgiven that’s why he can’t abd won’t see me! Last year when he did invite me over? I was dying inside being that close to him and he was nervous, wouldn’t sit near me... he was guarded... I left in tears that night because I didn’t know who this person was anymore... it’s not that easy to just forget someone but believe me after what he said Sunday night??? I’m going on with my life! My Q was, why can’t men seem to give another chance ?
no, you have not explained in great detail exactly what happened (at least on this thread)
involved on and off for a decade.... and 3 years not really talking.... or those 3 years are part of that 10 year? were those 10 years just like this past 3 years?
anyway, if you were on and off many times, without arguing.... why it was off? was it EVER REALLY on, or just your fantasy?
I am sorry, but after 10 years of this you are deluding yourself, that why he doesnt want to hang with you is that you once said no, because you had to go to work the next day?
who are you kidding? what is really going on? is he married? has a live-in girlfriend? is he engaged? were you a side piece?
people give second chances, man give second chances, lots of chances.... but I am not sure he even knows the extent of your focus on him... its hard to believe its his ego only, and you fucked up only by not going out with him once, 3 years ago....
so, for the last 10 years, you didnt go out with anybody else? in those 3 years, you were patiently waiting for him, obsessing over your connection?
I just want to understand...
your question about giving a second chance - is it a general question or its a question for your own situation? because if you ask it in relation to your own situation, I am not sure you had a first chance at all tbh....
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