Would You Stay With Someone

This topic was created in the Relationships forum by Sagittarius89 on Saturday, April 30, 2011 and has 34 replies.
If they cheated on you?
I remember I had this sag boyfriend when I was a freshmen in high school. He cheated on me with his ex cap girlfriend because I wouldn't give my virginity up to him.
I was like fuck you dude. I stayed with him for like 4 days after he told me that and than I dumped his stupid ass.

I mean I understand things happen, people mess up, whatever. But the feelings of embarrassment and hurt are really hard to shake.

What about you guys? Would you stay with them?

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not a chance in hell.
i'm not going to put up with a girl who lacks respect for me and our relationship while i'm over here busting my ass trying to be the best husband i can be. (which includes NOT cheating on my wife).
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NOPE. Don't let the door bang your ass on the way out.
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I did....for 10 yrs....very unvirgo like
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^^ true
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As far as I know its never happened to me but my pride and my anger wouldnt let me stay PLUS I'd never trust him again and that would totally ruin the whole foundation the relationship. Trust and security are important and I wouldnt do it to anyone else so I dont expect it to be done to me. I'd rather a man break up w/ me than cheat.
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Would I stay? Nope. I know myself. It's hard enough as it is for each person to go into a new relationship offering complete trust; it's even harder to try rebuilding that once someone purposely tore it down.
Just b/c I wouldn't stay doesn't mean that I'd stop loving him nor would I consider him an enemy or label him as the worst thing in the world. BUT I'm a firm believer that cheating doesn't happen overnight. It's a process & a DECISION.
And everyone knows that cheating devesates not only your partner but ALSO the relationship. With that being said, if I found out that my man purposely made the CONSCIOUS decision to devestate me & tear down all that we've built, the relationship would no longer be considered worth it to me.
Cheating is a deal breaker. It'll never stop being a deal breaker. And any time ANY deal breakers are purposely (keyword) committed in the relationship, I'm gonna run like hell! And yes, I said "purposely" b/c it's impossible to accidentally cheat unless someone put a gun to your head (which never happens 99% of the time).
Deal breakers are exactly that, DEAL BREAKERS, meaning that if the deal is broken, so is the relationship & anything that comes with it. Deal breakers shouldn't decrease just b/c you love someone. If anything, you oughta hold your partner to a higher standard, considering you have more to lose if they decide to be the 1 to betray you
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Thanks for your replays everyone. Seems to be No. lol
So what if you were married? Would that make a difference as there is the legal aspect of it and possibly children as well? Or is it just the same?
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If he cheated on me? I'd put a sticky note in his underwear drawer with Lorena Bobbit's name written on it.
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Posted by SunGem20
Actually its worse when your married and have children...he not only betrayed you, but didnt think enough about his family...Difficult to walk away when there is alot at stake.


I have a friend like that. Her husband hasn't cheated on her but she isn't happy in the marriage. She says that she is staying with him just for their daughter's sake. Once their daughter turns 18 she is going to leave him. Her daughter is now 8.
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Posted by PlanetMercuryGirl
Posted by SunGem20
Actually its worse when your married and have children...he not only betrayed you, but didnt think enough about his family...Difficult to walk away when there is alot at stake.


I have a friend like that. Her husband hasn't cheated on her but she isn't happy in the marriage. She says that she is staying with him just for their daughter's sake. Once their daughter turns 18 she is going to leave him. Her daughter is now 8.
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Similar situation here but the husband DOES cheat (but told her he doesn't and she chooses to believe it).
She won't leave because that means going back to work and being single again. If she could find the security of being "wifed up" and not having to work she might leave.
I don't have children so I haven't walked a mile in her shoes, but it doesn't seem like a positive environment for the kids, but they do have money and she has the title of "wife" and for some people that is all that matters.
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Posted by ReallyNiceAriesPerson
Posted by PlanetMercuryGirl
Posted by SunGem20
Actually its worse when your married and have children...he not only betrayed you, but didnt think enough about his family...Difficult to walk away when there is alot at stake.


I have a friend like that. Her husband hasn't cheated on her but she isn't happy in the marriage. She says that she is staying with him just for their daughter's sake. Once their daughter turns 18 she is going to leave him. Her daughter is now 8.



Similar situation here but the husband DOES cheat (but told her he doesn't and she chooses to believe it).
She won't leave because that means going back to work and being single again. If she could find the security of being "wifed up" and not having to work she might leave.
I don't have children so I haven't walked a mile in her shoes, but it doesn't seem like a positive environment for the kids, but they do have money and she has the title of "wife" and for some people that is all that matters.

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This type of situation has been going on for ages. When will it end? It won't. There are tons of people, men and women, that stay for reasons such as security and comfort. We can ask people if they'd stay in a relationship if their mate cheated and they might say no, but those same people sometimes stay.
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^^sorry, I should have added, this girl's "deal breaker" was always cheating (I knew her before they got married.)
I find it interesting (and disappointing) that now she is actually in the situation her actions don't mirror her words.

I found out a few months ago I was being cheated, so I told the guy to pick a side. He chose his wife (he said she had threatened to chop off his wizzer if he ever cheated.) So I told his wife.
Yada yada yada they are still together and she hasn't chopped anything off.
Most people say they would never put up with cheating, but when it comes to the crunch many do not have the guts to stand behind their word.
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To say what you would do doesn't accurately state what you would do once in the situation.
If you listen to people who are actually in the situation, just listen in here ... you will find women wanting to know even harder on how to get her man to love her more.

Once a partner cheats, the other seems to find it a challenge on how to win.

And then look at all the relatinships where they are fucking a married person .... if they would fuck a married person, then they would fuck another while married.

And then there's the REAL cheating by women, which is done all the time, which isn't even being addressed here.
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Absolutely not.
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Posted by P-Angel
To say what you would do doesn't accurately state what you would do once in the situation.
blockquote>

that is EXACTLY what the OP is asking - Would you stay with a cheater?

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Posted by ReallyNiceAriesPerson
Posted by P-Angel
To say what you would do doesn't accurately state what you would do once in the situation.
blockquote>

that is EXACTLY what the OP is asking - Would you stay with a cheater?




Right. Male or female.
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A woman would do anything to keep the delusion in her mind that the man wants her.

Again, to say what you would do doesn't accurately state what you would do once in the situation.
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close your eyes ... that's the whole point ... women close blind eyes if they think their delusion is going to be compromised.
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Posted by Lena282
Honestly I'll never understand women who put up with cheaters or date taken men. Never, ever ever.



I know. Once I know that a man is either in a relationship or married, he looses a lot of attraction from me. If he tries to date me, I get totally turned off and I loose respect for him. It's sad to know that women have to create this fantasy world in their mind in order to put up with what their men do to them. It's just ridiculous. I have never stayed with a man once my happiness has been compromised. I'd rather be sad for a short amount of time (after the breakup) then to be miserable forever (staying with him).
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Posted by Lena282
Honestly I'll never understand women who put up with cheaters or date taken men. Never, ever ever.



I don't either, but, they do ... just look around, women will tolerate anything and do anything for the love of a man ... and then it's not even love, it's settling.

However, sex isn't even cheating to a woman anyway, so this whole thing is off the mark. I guess it's valid for the men though, since sex is cheating to them.
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Posted by PlanetMercuryGirl
Posted by Lena282
Honestly I'll never understand women who put up with cheaters or date taken men. Never, ever ever.



I know. Once I know that a man is either in a relationship or married, he looses a lot of attraction from me. If he tries to date me, I get totally turned off and I loose respect for him. It's sad to know that women have to create this fantasy world in their mind in order to put up with what their men do to them. It's just ridiculous. I have never stayed with a man once my happiness has been compromised.

I'd rather be sad for a short amount of time (after the breakup) then to be miserable forever (staying with him).
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I couldnt agree more. ESPECIALLY the last sentence. Not only will you get over the hurt but you will also put yourself in the position to find true love w/ someone worthy.
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When a person "settles" it kind of puts a grey cast over their own lives. Not only are they unhappy in a relationship where they believe that love resides, but they also talk negatively about their spouse. If you know that something is going on and/or you're not happy with your spouse, don't take it out on him/her/others. The pain is evident more so even when you pretend that it's not there.
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Thanks for the replies everyone.
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Mine cheated, he got divorce papers. Fin.
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Posted by venusianbull
Mine cheated, he got divorce papers. Fin.



ahhh - love your work VB!
and Happy Birthday to you and all the other gorgeous Bulls
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Thank you, thank you, oh thank you *throwing rose petals and kisses to Aries* Winking
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my moms and pops been together for over 30 years, and they both been thru the cheating faze, but they survived it and im glad they did..now is their relationship perfect? nope, but i know both of'em love each other and will do anything for each other..
but they have that old school love..they've been thru a lot with each other and refused to let other people break them apart..when you have that REAL LOVE, you know in your heart whether or not if that love you have, or the love your partner has for you is truly gone..but a lot of people is too weak or have too much pride nowadays to handle certain types of problems that may arise in LONG LASTING relationships..some break up over cheating, some break up over money, some break up over drug/physical/mental abuse..
but cheating in many cases may stem from certain things that may start lacking in your relationship..maybe the man/woman don't spend enough time with each other, maybe you stop communicating with each other, maybe you argue a lot more then you used too,etc..whatever the case, im sure if you've been with a person for 10+ years, their will be some down points like that during that time, and its up to you to decide if its really worth sticking it out and fighting for it or not i guess
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^I know what you mean. I have family members that have been with their spouces since before I was born. The stories that they tell me......Oooooooooh wheeeeee! They have been through some $ hit!! But like you said, they are still together. Is $ hit peachy keen? Not really, but the love is strong!
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Posted by venusianbull
Mine cheated, he got divorce papers. Fin.


Same here.
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No.
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i would. i will give anyone one shot at redemption. but not 2
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Thing is though .... women will call a man a cheater for flirting or wanting to hook up with a girl when he isn't even her boyfriend .. he's a wanna be.
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Posted by everevolvingepithet
Posted by DMV
i would. i will give anyone one shot at redemption. but not 2


Well you only take them back to try and rub salt in the wounds so that makes sense really smile
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stop combining blogs lol

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