Younger guys, older girls.... And courage.

So I never wanted to be on the singles scene. But the last couple of times I'm astounded at how the game has changed.
So many girls in short, tight dresses, assets out and so readily available (not a judgement, just an observation)
I'm in my 30's, not interested in much younger guys, but I am constantly approached by guys 22 and younger.
I dress sexy but very modest, yet they are straight onto me and not these girls.

I get eye contact from older guys yet they do nothing about it.
These younger guys have no fear! They just sidle right up and get straight into it with a genuine smile and no sleaze.

So what gives, boys?? Why so confident with the older girls??

I meant to say, *the last couple of times I've been out on the town*

Because older women have years more experience in the sack? When I was in my early twenties, a male friend of my age was dating a 40-year-old woman. He said to me, "My god! You won't BELIEVE what you're going to learn about sex between now and the time you're her age".

That's an interesting observation.

The Scorp has told me before that he has had a lot of problems dating because most older women don't date younger, and most women his age want to date older men. I don't think he is into dating younger than he is.

I think I'm of the 1% of guys that would rather date someone his own age. The problem? In the place I live, most women my age are married, or divorced single mothers. Or if single they look really terrible due to excess of alcohol/drugs.

I may be an golden oldie in my 30's but I have taken care of myself. I think I reserve the right to be a shallow prick. And BTW so no one misunderstands, I'm not a "modelizer" just want a girl who doesnt look like Paris Hilton.

Also, I do not have children. I decided long ago that I never would. But I dont want to raise someone else's children either. Now if I met a woman maybe 38ish, whose child was almost grown up and looking to be out of the house, then we could talk.

A single 30ish woman with no kids that didn't throw away her appearance on drugs and alcohol is a needle in the haystack where I'm at. Your only other option here is dating younger women. Sorry I did that more than once, never again.

People can bag on LA all they want, but it has a nice amount of single women my age with no kids. I plan to move there soon(though not for that reason only) if I do decide to date again, it's nice to know there is more available women who are the same age.

I have seen women my age have the emotional maturity of a 13 year old to be fair. But I still see that more with younger women as opposed to women my age. The great thing to me about dating someone who is also in their 30's, is getting the same older cultural references, more definitive on what they want out of relationships, and as someone else said here less ego-trippin.

I find arrogance to be a complete turn-off. And any younger gal I dated almost always was in love with themselves. You can be confident in yourself without being an ego-maniac.

Posted by msmarilynmanson
really? wow when im 40 ill be lookin for the mid 20 year olds!

You know, I have read that Cap women are notorious for liking younger men. I never believed it. lol. 😛

Hasn't worked for me.
The younger guy will approach the relationship as a learning experience.
While the older woman is looking for companionship possibly LTR or eventurall marriage.
Get's very frustrating when you realize the guy you are falling for is just racking up experience to share with his buddies someday.

*shrugs* I'm all about the connection with a particular person and fostering a form of friendship before deciding if I am serious about that person.

I look quite young for my age and girls, even if they're slightly younger than me, my age or older automatically dismisses me given that fact. Not to say they all do that but the ones who stick around and get to know me better are usually awestruck when they learn I'm about to go into my 30s. Not particularly old to say the least but much better than the idea I just got out of highschool.

I do agree in the sense that anything below 23, guys or girls are still somewhat immature given the lack of life experience. There's always these moments in life when you think you're onto something about life but proven wrong etc etc. Hell I'm still going through it so I'm not any wiser.

One of my friend and my sister are always into younger guys, apparently it makes them feel more lively and sexy because young men want them. Few are into older men because of stability. My guy friends might date a younger girl purely because of the 'fresh meat' factor, some may date a cougar for a bit of cash. But those are all surface level and superficial dating.

*shrugs* you can be emotionally unstable at any age imo. I just wish people could start looking past the surface.

To the older gals on here, you have to take action. You can't let the whole "I'm a girl and its the guys job to approach" mentality affect you any longer.

The older guys who showed interest but didnt approach, probably figured you were going to shoot them down. What's the harm in approaching them? Guys most of the time (not always mind you) are much nicer compared to women who get approached.

Not all men are into hard to get. I personally liked to be approached. That's how I met most of the girls I dated.

I'm following my own advice here. Cause if I date again when I move to LA, it's strictly women my age. Normally I wait for the girl to show a strong, no mistake sign of interest. But since women my age confuse me for a 20 something I have to risk getting shot down.

Bottom line is it's up to you to make your own happiness in this world. If you want to let your perception of gender roles in dating effect that, ok then. But at the same time, there is no justification to complain. No guts, no glory as they say.

@Betel - Yeah, I'm glad you understand why men are reluctant to approach. This is what we have to deal with all the time. Don't let it deter you. Just really read the signals. If a girl is sending out signals that are ambiguious at best, I dont waste my time.

Just approach if A) a guy looks but quickly turns his head (he might be shy) or he is sending a strong signal of interest.

Or even try online (even that can be a dicey scenario) just to see what happens.

I think the misconception amongst women is that men dont like forward women. We do, but I think some guys dont want to pushed into a relationship after the 3rd date. I dont mind the "where is this going?" scenario myself provided the girl is close to or my age, and doesn't show signs of psychological instability.

Dont give up just be more discerning on who you approach.

Posted by LunarMaiden
Hasn't worked for me.
The younger guy will approach the relationship as a learning experience.
While the older woman is looking for companionship possibly LTR or eventurall marriage.
Get's very frustrating when you realize the guy you are falling for is just racking up experience to share with his buddies someday.

Yep.

Posted by flipyourwig
To the older gals on here, you have to take action. You can't let the whole "I'm a girl and its the guys job to approach" mentality affect you any longer.

The older guys who showed interest but didnt approach, probably figured you were going to shoot them down. What's the harm in approaching them? Guys most of the time (not always mind you) are much nicer compared to women who get approached.

Not all men are into hard to get. I personally liked to be approached. That's how I met most of the girls I dated.

I'm following my own advice here. Cause if I date again when I move to LA, it's strictly women my age. Normally I wait for the girl to show a strong, no mistake sign of interest. But since women my age confuse me for a 20 something I have to risk getting shot down.

Bottom line is it's up to you to make your own happiness in this world. If you want to let your perception of gender roles in dating effect that, ok then. But at the same time, there is no justification to complain. No guts, no glory as they say.

Lol I hear where you're coming from but I have no intentions of getting my rocks off with anyone, nor instigating a relationship, right now. My heart is still raw. Otherwise normally if it's someone I like, I go for the kill. I throw myself in deep or not at all. No halves here 🙂
I am so closed off, with my wall up, yet here they come.

For what it's worth, I am actually amazed at the maturity of this generation (the males anyway) The ones I have met seem to have more wisdom than men in their 40's, and they want deep conversation. There is no sleaze, and after it's like, 'thanks for the chat. Nice meeting you'

I do get taken for younger. I forgot to mention that. But even the age I'm taken for is 5-7 years more than their age.

*shrugs* you can be emotionally unstable at any age imo. I just wish people could start looking past the surface.

Aquasnoz, I agree