Your views on single parents
This topic was created in the Relationships forum by aquasnoz on Thursday, March 21, 2013 and has 23 replies.
I'm curious as to how people view young single parents.
Do you think they deserve love? Do you a relationship should be the last thing on their mind? Try and steer away from how they might've gotten into the situation of being a single parent I'm much more interested in your thoughts about them.
To the ladies: Would you date a single dad? and vice versa
To the guys: Would you date a single mum?
Is there really a stigma behind them or is it a self-actualized image of themselves?
Do you think they deserve love? Do you a relationship should be the last thing on their mind? Try and steer away from how they might've gotten into the situation of being a single parent I'm much more interested in your thoughts about them.
To the ladies: Would you date a single dad? and vice versa
To the guys: Would you date a single mum?
Is there really a stigma behind them or is it a self-actualized image of themselves?
I think single parents, despite whether they were responsible before being a parent or not, deserve a lot of appreciation. It doesn't sound easy. If they're a single parent against their choice, I think they do deserve love and the support of others. I imagine it would be hard to support yourself with just a kid. Though, some have found love in their children and are perfectly fine with being single and are able to support themselves. To others, being single might have actually been a choice on their part to provide the best for the child...such as, if the other parent was abusive or what not. I don't think they're any less worthy of anything than childless people. I, personally, am not at a point in my life where I could handle kids. So, I would not date a parent with a child right now. I'm not the kind of influence needed in their lives. Someone more caring and responsible would be better, imo. I think when I'm older, as long as I get my priorities straight, I would have no problem being with someone who had a kid. That might actually be easier on me since I don't really want kids of my own. I could be adopted in to their family. : )
I think the stigma is based on personal preference, honestly. Some people are okay with it and some aren't. Just like some people like dogs and some people like cats. If anyone dislikes single parents because of some ignorant belief, though, then I think that's pretty stupid. But, if they have valid reasons, then it's whatever.
I think the stigma is based on personal preference, honestly. Some people are okay with it and some aren't. Just like some people like dogs and some people like cats. If anyone dislikes single parents because of some ignorant belief, though, then I think that's pretty stupid. But, if they have valid reasons, then it's whatever.
Thanks for the input so far guys 
@Scenic: I think that's sensible for sure. For a bit of fun let's say you've fallen hard for the guy, how would you react to the situation.
@NoComply: Thanks I think it would suck if people really did think single parents didn't deserve love but there in goes the stigma behind very young single parents and for some reason this idea of being irresponsible tagged on them.
@Tizi: I'll pose the same question to you as I did Scenic
what if you also came to the realisation on your second post that they are a responsible parent but longing for a normal 20s life like their peers?
@Bling: That makes a lot of sense too about priorities shifting but why do you think a lot of people younger people tend to have this stigma? Is it purely because they are not ready or not willing to deal with a child?
@Scenic: I think that's sensible for sure. For a bit of fun let's say you've fallen hard for the guy, how would you react to the situation.
@NoComply: Thanks
I think it would suck if people really did think single parents didn't deserve love but there in goes the stigma behind very young single parents and for some reason this idea of being irresponsible tagged on them.@Tizi: I'll pose the same question to you as I did Scenic
what if you also came to the realisation on your second post that they are a responsible parent but longing for a normal 20s life like their peers?@Bling: That makes a lot of sense too about priorities shifting but why do you think a lot of people younger people tend to have this stigma? Is it purely because they are not ready or not willing to deal with a child?
Posted by aquasnoz
.... how people view young single parents.
Do you think they deserve love?
wtf is the matter with people?
this thought was actually in your head?
for reals?
Posted by P-AngelPosted by aquasnoz
.... how people view young single parents.
Do you think they deserve love?
wtf is the matter with people?
this thought was actually in your head?
for reals?click to expand
Yeah it has been brewing in my head for the past couple of days. I know my stance but I'd like to know people's general reaction to it.
Hmm I think I should've asked the entire question together so I'll apologise on that part. "Do you think they deserve love? Do you think a relationship should be the last thing on their mind?"
But I agree everyone's deserving of love. But when there's a child for example that love notion tends to get thrown out the window or it might just be more representative of my own age bracket and experience. I mean ultimately there's love, love for the child but is romantic love viable at the same time?
But I agree everyone's deserving of love. But when there's a child for example that love notion tends to get thrown out the window or it might just be more representative of my own age bracket and experience. I mean ultimately there's love, love for the child but is romantic love viable at the same time?
Do you think they deserve love?
Of course!! Everyone deserves love!! They just have to be careful of who they choose to love!
Do you a relationship should be the last thing on their mind?
As long as the kid is taken care of, receives attention and gets the love they need, why not? The problem is when they put the relationship in front of the kid. I'm a divorced mom of a teenager still living at home part time. It is quite a challenge. Also, you have to factor in the morality factor. When the kids are there, no overnight stays. You have to teach morality by example.
To the ladies: Would you date a single dad? and vice versa
Yes. I'm dating a single, divorced dad right now. He also has a teenager who lives with him full time. It is more difficult to set aside selfish needs over the needs of the kids, but it is working out really well. But, really, for me, it depends on the situation. I don't want to get involved with baby momma drama and I personally wouldn't want to date someone with very young children because at my age, I don't necessarily want to raise another child. It is different when they only have them every other weekend, but you have to be patient and and understanding to give them alone time with their kids. Some people can handle that, some can't.
The stigma:
I'm from the Bible Belt and yes, here, there is a stigma. Things are better than they used to be, but I do believe people, here, in the south anyway, think less of them as in thinking they are irresponsible, stupid and basically just shake their heads, thinking its a shame. If they are loving and providing for those kids, they are in fact, MORE responsible than someone else their own age. They work harder and have sacrificed so much that people don't realize how fast they've had to grow up and forget they have missed out on the years of just having fun.
Of course!! Everyone deserves love!! They just have to be careful of who they choose to love!
Do you a relationship should be the last thing on their mind?
As long as the kid is taken care of, receives attention and gets the love they need, why not? The problem is when they put the relationship in front of the kid. I'm a divorced mom of a teenager still living at home part time. It is quite a challenge. Also, you have to factor in the morality factor. When the kids are there, no overnight stays. You have to teach morality by example.
To the ladies: Would you date a single dad? and vice versa
Yes. I'm dating a single, divorced dad right now. He also has a teenager who lives with him full time. It is more difficult to set aside selfish needs over the needs of the kids, but it is working out really well. But, really, for me, it depends on the situation. I don't want to get involved with baby momma drama and I personally wouldn't want to date someone with very young children because at my age, I don't necessarily want to raise another child. It is different when they only have them every other weekend, but you have to be patient and and understanding to give them alone time with their kids. Some people can handle that, some can't.
The stigma:
I'm from the Bible Belt and yes, here, there is a stigma. Things are better than they used to be, but I do believe people, here, in the south anyway, think less of them as in thinking they are irresponsible, stupid and basically just shake their heads, thinking its a shame. If they are loving and providing for those kids, they are in fact, MORE responsible than someone else their own age. They work harder and have sacrificed so much that people don't realize how fast they've had to grow up and forget they have missed out on the years of just having fun.
Here, where I'm from, there is a home for unwed teenage mothers-to-be sponsored by a Christian group. The girls live there and wait for their babies to be born. I'm sure they are heavily encouraged to consider adoption. I always felt it was a place the families sent these girls so that "no one would know". That is a very sad thought to me.
I know a woman in her 50s that actually was able to hide a pregnancy as a teen and forced by her parents to give that baby up. She has been a self-described screw up ever since. That really messed with her head. To this day, she still has emotional issues with it. Too bad she was from a different time period. Things would have been more accepted today, than they were then.
*steps off soap box*
I know a woman in her 50s that actually was able to hide a pregnancy as a teen and forced by her parents to give that baby up. She has been a self-described screw up ever since. That really messed with her head. To this day, she still has emotional issues with it. Too bad she was from a different time period. Things would have been more accepted today, than they were then.
*steps off soap box*
Maybe its not a southern thing, it might just be a small town thing.
i dont date men with kids.
I have dated single parents, the worst part of it was breaking the relationship when there's more than one person involved.
Posted by Prince_Pisces
No i would not date a single parent, because they would most likely put their kids before me, and i dont find that to be acceptable
real talk, +1
Posted by aquasnozPosted by P-AngelPosted by aquasnoz
.... how people view young single parents.
Do you think they deserve love?
wtf is the matter with people?
this thought was actually in your head?
for reals?
Yeah it has been brewing in my head for the past couple of days. I know my stance but I'd like to know people's general reaction to it.click to expand
Your stance?
As in this is a position that you give enough merit to to have an opinion on it?
Reaction to it?
You really have no clue how discriminative you are of love ... and I'm willing to wager you think that's positive energy !!!!
I do not mind dating a single dad. I am ready to settle and with a big family, I want 5 kids. I am in my early 30's so, that aint happening lol. So that means I will most likely have step kids, which I do not mind at all. I date for the futuristically now (not just for the thrill). I am dating to marry....
Posted by P-Angel
Your stance?
As in this is a position that you give enough merit to to have an opinion on it?
Reaction to it?
You really have no clue how discriminative you are of love ... and I'm willing to wager you think that's positive energy !!!!
My position doesn't give me merit nor am I implying I'm not biased. It's a simple question P I think you're reading into too much of my words.
Thanks for the input so far guys! Some very honest opinions
Posted by aquasnoz
@Scenic: I think that's sensible for sure. For a bit of fun let's say you've fallen hard for the guy, how would you react to the situation.
Well, I suppose if he was also interested, I would give it a try. I'm not very good with kids and usually that's on a single parent's must have list....so, I don't know. I think it would be an experience, but unless I changed over night and suddenly knew how to interact with kids, I don't see it lasting too long. I'm not going to lie, I might also dislike the split attention going on. That's one of the reasons why I don't think I want kids....time with my spouse is most important to me and kids get in the middle of that. Selfish, I know. But, it is what it is.
Good topic! I'm a single mum of two little boys 2 and 3, and have been since my youngest was 3 months old. Was it the plan, hell no! Would i change it, nope! Their dad was a violent, abusive son of a bitch. So, the dilemma i had was, stay in that shit and expose my kids to evil for the sake of keeping up the "oh, im part of a "regular" family unit front", or save us all, and raise my kids in a happy safe environment? I'll take the latter. Im sure people have kids with different partners without a lot of thought, but some of us end up like that without much choice. If we were widowed we would get all the sympathy in the world, instead we are the scum of society (at least thats my impression). Im am so proud of how i've coped, kept my job, and i know how damned hard it is, every day is a struggle. But, the victory is in the struggle, thats my motto. Hopefully, or it would be nice to meet someone who could handle taking us all on but if it doesnt happen, at least i have two amazing little men to see grow up!
but if it doesnt happen, at least i have two amazing little men to see grow up!Posted by aquasnozPosted by P-Angel
Your stance?
As in this is a position that you give enough merit to to have an opinion on it?
Reaction to it?
You really have no clue how discriminative you are of love ... and I'm willing to wager you think that's positive energy !!!!
My position doesn't give me merit nor am I implying I'm not biased. It's a simple question P I think you're reading into too much of my words.click to expand
I'm not reading more into it .... you are, and this is the reason for my shock.
My responses to you are describing my surprise in that a person would even have a thought such as this and consider it normal ... the reality of my response has not only flown right over your head, you comment back making the suggestions that I read more into a situation in which clearly is you, since YOU ARE THE ONE having a thought that discriminates who should be bestowed with love, and not only that ... you are so oblvious, you ask people to respond to it, as if it's a normal question to have.
It's not a simple question ... rather, it comes from a simple mind, so simple that it doesn't recognize itself.
And surely, as stated, I'd wager you think this topic is based around positive energy.
Everyone deserves love, especially someone who has to work as hard and sacrifice as much as a young single parent. In my opinion, not a typical relationship but rather a partner and a supporter should be what they search for. Young relationships are somehow usually synonymous with a lot of drama and off/on behavior- a single parent needs someone who's the same mental age as they are. So yes- a relationship with the right person should be one of their number one priorities. Hopefully they know what to look for and have a definite grasp on the type of person they want to be in their kids life. I have found that when people are in love and happy- they are more generous about giving love. A happy parent= happy children.
Do they deserve love is sort of a silly question though, of course they do!
Do they deserve love is sort of a silly question though, of course they do!
Posted by xdimplezPosted by Rays Heart
I have dated single parents, the worst part of it was breaking the relationship when there's more than one person involved.
+100
its not just one heart you're dealing with, but many. whats funny is that in my situation , i always understood that and he didnt...and i wasnt the one with the children.click to expand
Exactly, it's really something to consider, in my case the children really liked me and the break up was harder on me because of that fact, as I am very kid conscious. The adults involved understand why they're breaking but the kids not necessarily.
I understand why you asked the question.
Because being that way may really effect the child and damage them which is evil.
Because being that way may really effect the child and damage them which is evil.
I prefer to date a single mom because they understand when you have to spend time with your own child. unlike women without children, i feel in my opinion that they try to compete with the time. I say that because i have actually experienced that in my life. I quote " who do you love more me or your daughter" There is no comparison.
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