GemCurioThe1
@GemCurioThe1
5 Years
Comments: 10 · Posts: 408 · Topics: 49
A Letter To Love- I'll Pull Up and Drop The Tints
op: I will fight you with pure love
also op: I'm ready to do a drive by shooting with some mob tide hoodlums on your thot self.
also op: I'm ready to do a drive by shooting with some mob tide hoodlums on your thot self.
maybe i got a little obsessed. i devoured your dead ex's book front to back. all the articles, all the think pieces, reading between the lines. and i realized guinevere beck was unspecial and mediocre.
she didn't deserve you.
i found the real you, joe.
you were even smarter, more passionate, more devoted than i've ever known. you were crafty and earthy and it must be said you bring out genius. i couldn't have written this in a million years without your push. yeah you did terrible things but that's just what sensitive people do when they're trapped in bad relationships. i had to coax the real you out. if you could trust me, show me your heart even the darkest parts then we'd be starting our future together in the right foot.
but you lost faith in our little family in the making.
so i followed you.
i'm protecting you because i want to, joe.
you didn't break me, you opened your heart to me.
we're soulmates, joe.
she didn't deserve you.
i found the real you, joe.
you were even smarter, more passionate, more devoted than i've ever known. you were crafty and earthy and it must be said you bring out genius. i couldn't have written this in a million years without your push. yeah you did terrible things but that's just what sensitive people do when they're trapped in bad relationships. i had to coax the real you out. if you could trust me, show me your heart even the darkest parts then we'd be starting our future together in the right foot.
but you lost faith in our little family in the making.
so i followed you.
i'm protecting you because i want to, joe.
you didn't break me, you opened your heart to me.
we're soulmates, joe.
karma and i, we're in a fight.
some people they get what they deserve.
some people
.....don't.
and each day a passive justice seem more and more a literary conceit. in crime and punishment, the hero willingly walks into exile. he is killed but he has also found love. and if he repents, he can be redeemed. he and the woman he loves can be saved.
not that the slate will ever be clean but it's hard to stay sad when there's new life growing.
and here i am.
no one can absolve me.
i gotta do the time.
not every siberia is cold.
i'm ready to meet my daughter, to be the good father i never had, to make the family i've always dreamed of... the one she deserves. it's funny how fate works, i had no idea that the cage i was building all these time was a trap for me. and when i found myself locked in, i thought:
'this is the end.'
but that's not how destiny works, is it?
this is just the beginning. because this is what i had to be, exactly where i had to be to meet you. there you were with your books and your sunshine. so close but worlds away.
i will figure out a way, a way to get to you.
see you soon, neighbor.
some people they get what they deserve.
some people
.....don't.
and each day a passive justice seem more and more a literary conceit. in crime and punishment, the hero willingly walks into exile. he is killed but he has also found love. and if he repents, he can be redeemed. he and the woman he loves can be saved.
not that the slate will ever be clean but it's hard to stay sad when there's new life growing.
and here i am.
no one can absolve me.
i gotta do the time.
not every siberia is cold.
i'm ready to meet my daughter, to be the good father i never had, to make the family i've always dreamed of... the one she deserves. it's funny how fate works, i had no idea that the cage i was building all these time was a trap for me. and when i found myself locked in, i thought:
'this is the end.'
but that's not how destiny works, is it?
this is just the beginning. because this is what i had to be, exactly where i had to be to meet you. there you were with your books and your sunshine. so close but worlds away.
i will figure out a way, a way to get to you.
see you soon, neighbor.
well, hello there.
who are you?
based on your vibe, you're a student. your blouse is loose. not to be ogled. but those bracelets, they jangle. you like a little attention okay, i'll bite. you're not the standard insecure nymph hunting for faulkner.
never.
who will you buy?
you sound apologetic. like you're embarrassed to be a good girl. and you murmur your first word to me:
"hello, do you work here?"
are you not wearing a bra? and you want me to notice. if this was a movie, i'd grab you and we'd go at it. right in the stacks. you have enough cash to cover this but you want me to know your name. you smiled, laughed at my jokes. told me your name. asked for mine.
at the end of the day, people are just disappointing aren't they?
but are you, beck?
are you?
who are you?
based on your vibe, you're a student. your blouse is loose. not to be ogled. but those bracelets, they jangle. you like a little attention okay, i'll bite. you're not the standard insecure nymph hunting for faulkner.
never.
who will you buy?
you sound apologetic. like you're embarrassed to be a good girl. and you murmur your first word to me:
"hello, do you work here?"
are you not wearing a bra? and you want me to notice. if this was a movie, i'd grab you and we'd go at it. right in the stacks. you have enough cash to cover this but you want me to know your name. you smiled, laughed at my jokes. told me your name. asked for mine.
at the end of the day, people are just disappointing aren't they?
but are you, beck?
are you?
Posted by andsdoesntposthereanymore
Please don't be fooled by me. Don't be fooled by the face I wear, for I wear a mask. I wear a thousand masks, masks that I'm afraid to take off and none of them are me. Pretending is an art that is second nature to me, but don't be fooled, for God's sake don't be fooled.
I give you the impression I'm secure and that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without, that confidence is my name, coolness my game, that water is calm and I'm in command and that I need no one, but don't believe me, please don't believe me.
My surface may be smooth, but my surface is a mask--my every varying and ever concealing mask. Beneath it dwells the real confusion, fear and aloneness. Beneath lies my smugness, my complacently, but I hide this--I don't want anyone to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear being exposed. That's why I frantically created a mask to hide behind-- nonchalant sophisticated facades to help me pretend-- to shield me from the glance that knows-- but such a glance is precisely my salvation, my only salvation and I know it. That is if it's followed by acceptance. If it's followed by love, it's the only thing that can liberate me from myself, from my own self built prison walls and from the barriers that I so painstakingly erect. It's the only thing that will assure me of what I cannot assure myself, that I'm really worth while, but I don't tell you this, I don't dare--I'm afraid to.
I'm afraid that your glance will not be followed by acceptance and love. I'm afraid you'll think less of me and you'll laugh and your laugh will kill me. I'm afraid that deep down, I'm nothing and that I'm just no good and that you'll see this and reject me.
So I play my game; my desperate pretending; with the facade of assurance without and a trembling child within. And so begins the parade of masks, the glittering, but empty parade of masks and my life becomes a front. I idle chatter to you in suave tones of surface talk. I tell you everything that's really nothing and nothing of what's everything and what's crying within me.
So when I'm through going through my routine, do not be fooled by what I'm saying. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying--what I'd like to be able to say, but for survival I need to say, but what I can't say.
I dislike hiding, honestly, I dislike the superficial game I'm playing, the superficial phony game. I'd really like to be genuine, spontaneous and me, but you've got to help me, you've got to hold out your hand, even when it's the last thing I seem to want or need.
You can help wipe away from my eyes--the blank stare of grieving dead. You can help call me into aliveness each time you're kind, gentle and encouraging. Each time you try to understand because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings, very small wings, very feeble wings, but wings.
Iif you choose to, please choose to. You can help break down the wall behind which I tremble. You can encourage me to remove my mask. You can help release me from my shadowed world of panic and uncertainty. From my lonely prison.
So do not pass me by-- please don't pass me by. It will not be easy for you. A lone conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls. The nearer you approach me, the blinder I may strike back.
It's irrational, but despite what books say about man, I am irrational, I fight against the very things that I cry out for, but I am told love is stronger than strong walls. In this lies my hope, my only hope, please help beat down those walls with firm hands, but with gentle hands--for a child is very sensitive.
Who am I, you may wonder? I am someone you know very well. For I am every manlet you meet and I am every catlady you meet.
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Whose side are you on anyway?? What set are you representing— Because I'm ready to do a drive by shooting with some mob tide hoodlums on your thot self. You have shown no loyalty except bursting from the work of my hands and the songs of my voice. And your cousin Karma always seem to be on vacation unless she's hiding under the moon like a high heeled pit-bull, ever barking and striking on my stride.
You just will not go away and yet you never show your face. I can smell you all around me. Yet you never manifest as anything tangible outside of a selfless sacrifice from me to you.. What is your purpose when your twin sister is grief— You walk together hand in hand, switching places making a mockery of your lovers. Thank you for nothing.
I indulged in your scent and the world changed to the land of the Lotus flower. Your high was so sweet to my soul, how could anything else matter outside of you?? Outside of such ecstasy?? Outside of your peace— I knew my soul had found a place to rest, and for perhaps the first time in my life, my spirit laid down. I lowered my shield, and dropped my armor. My sword felt far too heavy for my hands. Time stood still and nothing in the world mattered. I slept the sleep of the angels in your arms… Only to wake to that harpy sister of yours who gives nothing and takes everything…
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Do not seek out nor yearn for love. Love yourself enough to love others properly-
GemCurio