Trials....

This topic was created in the Religion forum by libragyrl on Wednesday, May 14, 2008 and has 20 replies.
Hi all,
Recently I have really been working on my relationship with God. I am ashamed to say that it has been my constant trials and heartbreaks over the past year and half that has caused me to move closer to God. I have always been spiritual but I know not like I should. I am beginning to see God's blessings everyday and acknowledge them however I still become angry because I am still in the midst of my trial. I feel guilty for becoming angry....
So I would like to know whether anyone has gone through something like this and how you coped?
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Coping comes from self ... power of thought ...
however, from what people say ...

You have to be saved ..... Born Again, or some such happy horseshit.
So, if you're still in your place of unhappy, then you must not be saved. According to the Pushers (freedom of choice ?), once you're saved, your fears and anger will go away.
How to become Born Again?
Take Jesus into your heart .. he's The Way. You can work on your relationship with God until Hell freezes over, so they say .. but, without Christ, you aren't Saved.
But, I wouldn't listen to me, if I were you .. I don't even believe in god, much less jesus being christ ...

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I just get frustrated at the length of time it has been. Jesus is in my heart and God is the center of my life. I could lie and say that I am not frustrated about everything because I know that God will work it out. But in reality I know that God will eventually work it out however I still get frustrated.
I have come a long way since my journey began....and I am much more at peace than I was. I take it one day at a time.
But, I wouldn't listen to me, if I were you .. I don't even believe in god, much less jesus being christ ...
I am sorry. I hope that one day you decide to re-examine your viewpoints. And I hope that whatever made you feel that way you will one day work through. If you would like to talk about it I am here.
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No thanks, though, I appreciate the offer smile

My faith is Gnostism, by choice. No need to feel sorry, for my soul will ascend when my body dies of the flesh .. no sadness in my life, or need for my ego to find redemption through unanswered prayers. Thanks again though.
You know .... to be saved, to have jesus in your heart only takes an instant .. it's not something that takes over a year to work on, only to find yourself taking baby-steps and still not there yet. It hits you like a train.
Bang !!!!!

You doubt ... so long as you are doubting, you've not been saved. Having the Lord is about trust and faith .. not something that you try to attain through having him perform miracles for you by fixing your life. Having faith isn't about loving him because he has rescued your from a trial in life. It doesn't work that way, that's why you've been waiting so long.
It's works the other way around ..
Whatever happened in your life has brought you to god .. I would presume this is because you need assistance in dealing/coping with whatever has happened. Now, it's been over a year, and you're still waiting to have this fixed in your life .. and it won't get fixed because the power of christ doesn't work that way.
You have to want god without having any issues to fix .. if you only have him because you don't know where else to turn .. then it isn't true to your heart, though you believe it is.
You have to free yourself of wants .. to have christ. He doesn't answer when prayers are sent up for wants. Power of thought works that way .. but, not god. He's a jealous god, and should be feared .... so, to have him in your life, you have to go to him free from desire or need for yourself.
Then .. he will answer you.
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I remember in my youth .. I would get so drunk, hanging over the toilet, praying .. "Oh God, if you just get me through this night. I swear, I will never drink again."
To go to him ... and have him answer you .. there can't be any conditions on which is the reason for prayer to rescue you from your life.
The Lord's rescue comes AFTER you've died from the flesh ... while you're still living, your freedom of choice is your salvation. And if you choose to only find god during tribulation, and not before-hand when your life wasn't turned-upside-down ... then there won't be any divine intervention.
You have to free yourself of need, greed ..... only then will jesus show you The Way.
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I agree with everything you say.....I do not have doubt that God is control nor is my relationship based on me wanting a fix.....it is based on the knowledge that he is real.
I have always had a relationship with God however our relationship was not as strong before my trials...everyday our relationship becomes stronger and stronger and I learn more and realize more everyday...which is why I am thankful for what I am going through.
With that being said, your relationship with God and Jesus Christ does not take away your human emotions. God does not mind anger or frustration if you are honest about the emotions. He understands human emotions because he made us... what he minds is when we are pious about our feelings and when we lie about them. God wants us to convey our wants and desires to him...even his silence is an answer. I do not doubt God's ability to grant me mercy in my situation and work it out. I doubt my human ability to cope with it until then...that is when God steps takes over and provides the strength we need to sustain us. When we can recognize this to me that is truly a personal relationship with God. Remember our trials and tribulations are not always about us but sometimes about carrying out his will.....Every God fearing person that has faced major trials and tribulations has suffered from frustration and sometimes anger. They have also asked why.
Job is an example of this, Mother Theresa in questioning the reason for human suffering, Martin Luther King in why the fight for equality is as difficult as it is.......
it is in how you express your frustration that your relationship with God comes in...and it is in your prayers.... Lord Help me vs. Lord use me......
But no matter whether you believe or do not believe, doubt or do not doubt, he will answer you because God is love and love is understanding. God understands why we ask why and why we ask for assistance...
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My faith is Gnostism, by choice. No need to feel sorry, for my soul will ascend when my body dies of the flesh .. no sadness in my life, or need for my ego to find redemption through unanswered prayers. Thanks again though.
I do not feel sorry for you. Although I do not understand or agree with some aspects of Gnostism it is not for me to judge. I simply thought I detected something in your previous statement...anger or sadness and simply wanted to let you know if you would like to talk about it I will listen. Your views are your views and not for me to judge. I embrace you simply because you are a creation of God.

I remember in my youth .. I would get so drunk, hanging over the toilet, praying .. "Oh God, if you just get me through this night. I swear, I will never drink again."
Lol I think we have all said that....and speaking for myself I didnt expect God to answer......I said it because Lord knows in that state he was the only one that could help me.
It is okay to ask why and to ask for assistance. Asking those questions leads to a deep understanding of why you are going through your trials. Your trials also allow you to be a testimony for God....your ability to make it through whatever you had to to get to where you are says in and of itself how good God is.
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Yes, I know all that .. however, I fear you really don't and are only saying them because this is what you are hoping for, because this is the programmed responses you've been taught.
"I doubt my human ability to cope with it until then...that is when God steps takes over and provides the strength we need to sustain us."

Here's the reality .. you came in here saying you don't know how to cope and it's been a year and a half .. you are frustrated and angry because you've waited so long and are still in the midst of your trial, eventhough you've been praying to him.
On one hand, you are holding onto the hope that divine intervention will step in and give you strength to cope because this is what the program of god tells the lambs .. while on the other hand, you don't really have this strength to cope, for you are left angry and frustrated.
Hence: programmed response that isn't actualized.
At any rate ... I'm a realist, and only believe in what is real. Most people only believe "that", and not "what". They would believe "that" god gives them strength, without acknowledging that "what" has been given back is empty .. for if the strength to cope was actually bestowed then there wouldn't be any frustration or anger in him, since your trial is still underway.
Thank you for your kinds words, though, they are a recorded message, being said without any awareness that actions within your behaviour is in contridiction to your belief .. so, my words to you won't help you.
I hope you find truth .. good luck and hopefully you'll find a way to cope with your trials in life.
Good night.
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Wow P-Angel those are very strong words. If you notice I didnt ask how to cope I asked how others coped..........
I do notice that in your responses you are quite contradictory. On the one hand you do not believe in God or Jesus, but then you share what a relationship with God is supposed to be...How do you know? A belief in God and Jesus is the foundation of your personal relationship.
Then you say I am never angry nor frustrated but all of your responses convey so much anger it is amazing......They don't convey the happiness you say your life is.
On one hand, you are holding onto the hope that divine intervention will step in and give you strength to cope because this is what the program of god tells the lambs .. while on the other hand, you don't really have this strength to cope, for you are left angry and frustrated.
That is not what I said. those are excerpts from 3 paragraphs pulled out thrown in a pot, mixed up and presented totally different than they were relayed.
Again not judging just observing. And I am not sure if you remember this or not but even Jesus asked God during his crucification why he had forsaken him.....
Jesus death was not about him. It was to save us. God sacrificed his only son to save us. And even his son asked him why.
At any rate ... I'm a realist, and only believe in what is real. Most people only believe "that", and not "what". They would believe "that" god gives them strength, without acknowledging that "what" has been given back is empty .. for if the strength to cope was actually bestowed then there wouldn't be any frustration or anger in him, since your trial is still underway.
Jesus was angry but yet he had the strength to endure his trials. He endured his final trial his death....and rose again. Again he was honest with his feelings as am I. And when he preached his belief to those who believed differently or did not believe at all he did it with love...not conviction, judgment, and condemnation......that is how he was able to change the lives of millions and still does everyday..through love not anger.
I truly hope that you are as happy as you write because that is not the vibe I get from you. I do hope that I am mistaken. No programmed response there. And again if you ever want to talk I will listen.
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"I do notice that in your responses you are quite contradictory. On the one hand you do not believe in God or Jesus, but then you share what a relationship with God is supposed to be...How do you know? A belief in God and Jesus is the foundation of your personal relationship."

Not really contridictory .. it may appear that way to you, but, they are not. You say you are close to god and have jesus ... yet, you still struggle. That means you aren't saved yet, for when this event happens it's absolute .. there will be NO questions or concerns such as you have posted. So, I was simply telling you what you need to do to be saved. Just because I don't believe in your god, doesn't mean I'm ingorant to it.
How do I know? Because of Gnosis. And no, I'm not angry. I simply don't believe in happy horseshit .. I believe in truth.
Yeah, I know all about jesus ... I know exactly who he was.
"That is not what I said. those are excerpts from 3 paragraphs pulled out thrown in a pot, mixed up and presented totally different than they were relayed."
Yet, that is what you meant ... you are here to convey how you've waited a year and a half, and feeling frustrated because you are still in the midst of your trials. I know "what" is = Gnosis.
I didn't say I was happy, I said there is no sadness in my life, nor does my ego have a need to find redemption through unanswered prayers.

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Here you go .. I pulled this from a site .. this will explain my belief to you in summary ..

Gnosis is Greek for ?knowledge.? Gnosis is experiential knowledge, rather than intellectual or conceptual knowledge.
The venerable science of Gnosis is the universal and essential "knowing" that arises from the experience of objective reality, universally experienced by all those who fully awaken and develop their consciousness. The means to arrive at knowing that reality for oneself, in ones own experience, is also called Gnosis, because it leads to the acquisition of one's own Gnosis of fundamental truth.
Gnosis is, in its essence, the method to escape suffering, because the entrance into objective reality is the escape from the subjective mind, within which we all suffer intensely.
This science is exact and has existed for millennia.
True Gnosis is free of separatism, dogma, politics, fanaticism, and sectarianism.
The hallmarks of true Gnosis are profound compassion, penetrating wisdom, and sparkling intelligence.
Gnosis has been expressed by all the world's great saints and enlightened souls, each with their own words and voice.
True Gnosis is universal to all mankind and can be found in all genuine religions and mystical traditions. Thus, within all of them is The Doctrine of the Synthesis: the Universal Teaching from which all religions have been born. This root knowledge is the essential science that every human being needs in order to know the Mysteries of Life and Death directly, personally, through their own experience.
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So I guess my question is....if you don't believe in God why are you so adamant ABOUT how my relationship should be?
Everyone's relationship with God is different because God has a different plan for us all. Only you know what your relationship should be. The only common thread is the guidelines that we are to abide by.
My only wish for you is that your relationship with whoever you worship fulfills and enlightens you. Again I do not know what your personal journey is or what it is you are called to do so there is no way I would ever criticize your relationship because it is not for me to do so.
The point in which I was trying to make was that you say that or convey that your way has brought you peace but the way that peace is conveyed comes across as anger. And from my viewpoint it conveys a lack of faith in what you believe if that belief is centered on knowing what is. Therefore I was simply telling you that being on the receiving end if are being totally and completely honest when you say believe everything you have conveyed to me.
I hope that one day you overcome whatever it is that makes you sound so angry.
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Yet, that is what you meant ... you are here to convey how you've waited a year and a half, and feeling frustrated because you are still in the midst of your trials. I know "what" is = Gnosis.
I am sorry that you interpreted my words to mean that as that is not what it meant. I typed exactly what I meant.
and no I have not just waited a year and a half....this time has been a time of personal growth as I stated. This has strengthened my relationship with God not created it. I have good days and bad days. There are times when yes I am frustrated and there is nothing wrong with that. However there are days when I am very happy. If those emotions weren't acceptable we wouldn't have them. It is when we lie about them that we commit the sin.
You say that there is no sadness in your life but the anger I am feeling in your words feels as though it were born from sadness. It is ok for you to be either one or both as long as you acknowledge it, but again you have free will so the choice is yours.
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It is those who know that Jesus is the Saviour and God is the center of life who struggle the most.
So actually P-Angel I would like to thank you. Thank you!
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I'm not critisizing your faith, libragyrl .. sorry that you viewed it that way. Many people I know who are god fearing christians, and NONE of them ever feel frustration or anger, in which you have verbalized both of those emotions in here .. faith takes those emotions away from you. You say that it is ok to feel those things, and I would agree with you because I am a believer of what is real, and emotions are real .. however, christians to whom I observe would NEVER feel anger or frustration, as you have described. In fact, the opposite .. when there are trials in their lives, they are at more peace than they are when times are good and running smoothly. And this seems to be common in god fearing christians. So, my point wasn't to critisize your faith in any way .. it was to point out that IF you are feeling frustrated or angry .. then you haven't been shown The Way yet.

Obviously, you think I'm critisizing you and this makes you believe I am angry, since my words are telling you that you don't regard your emotions in accordance with christians .. to you, this has put you on the defensive of instead of listening to what I'm trying to tell you.
Believe it or not .. I'm trying to help you. IF .. IF ... IF .. you are frustrated and angry, which you said both of those things within the same train of thought as commenting on your faith, while talking about having to still be going through an ordeal .... then jesus hasn't come into your heart from HIS end, libragyrl. Perhaps you feel on your end that you've opened up enough .. but, I'm telling you ... I've lived a long time, coming from varying religious backgrounds .. and people who have christ do NOT feel anger and frustration as it pertains to trials in their life.
Take that as you want ..... if you want to refuse to hear the message and call it just me being angry, then sobeit ..
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"I am beginning to see God's blessings everyday and acknowledge them however I still become angry because I am still in the midst of my trial."
"I just get frustrated at the length of time it has been."


You are angry because you are still in the midst of your trial, eventhough you are beginning to see blessings ... and you are frustrated at the length of time it has been. This is an expectation you are expecting for a miracle to happen.
And I'm telling you ... if jesus was with you .. this post wouldn't even exist, for you wouldn't have these feelings because he would take them away from you. You are hoping for it to be so, and you want it to be so .. but, it is not .. for IF it were true, then jesus would take it away from you, libragyrl.
Take my words as you like ... your choice.
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P-Angel I do not feel that you are criticizing me because you can't. Everyone's relationship with God is different and personal. Like marriage. Every marriage is different however everyone married legally takes the same vows or oath. Thus the reason I thanked you because this conversation has taught me a lot. I cannot comment on the Christians that you have been around and what their response to trials and tribulations have been. I only know that I am honest with my feelings about mine. I am happy I am sad I am mad I am jubilant I gain knowledge I get weak I gain strength I persevere I tire but with all of those I don't give up and I never will.....and that is part of my personal relationship with God.
Anger is an emotion of passion and sometimes when you are on the front line of the battlefield for God anger is needed.
I should have stated from the beginning that my anger and frustration is not at God because God did not cause the situation it is God who is holding my hand leading me through. I am angry and frustrated with the free will choices of man. Sorry I thought that that was known....
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I just get frustrated at the length of time it has been."
Yup mostly at the humans perpetuating it. Sometimes I get mad at God about it and I tell Him so I don't pretend. After my anger passes I acknowledge His blessings because they are all around.
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And I'm telling you ... if jesus was with you .. this post wouldn't even exist, for you wouldn't have these feelings because he would take them away from you. You are hoping for it to be so, and you want it to be so .. but, it is not .. for IF it were true, then jesus would take it away from you, libragyrl.
Take my words as you like ... your choice.
Those are very strong words. And nothing that I , you , or anyone else does can take Jesus or God away. You can not acknowledge either, not build your relationship, or turn away but Jesus is always there and God is always present.
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Thank you so much for the words of encouragement Starfish225 smile
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