Communication advice on Sag male.

I like this Sag. I'm not looking for anything extremely serious right now but dating him is fun. He tried to get my attention for close to a year. We have great fun. Im just looking for advice on sustaining his attention.

He has told me he broke it off with the last 2 girls he was dating because "they texted me too much." also "she liked me too much". I'm kind of stand offish in general and typically make men feel like I dont like them (working on that). But that was like...hmmmm.

He's never been big on texting me. So, I don't get upset. Has taken hours to respond since day one. He's really only initiated hanging the first time, although every time we get together he says. "I want to see you again.I like you a lot" and sets a day. But I have to reach out to him to confirm and often the plan will change. He usually makes an effort to meet up though. We have been talking for 3 weeks. One of which he was out of town. Each week we've hung out about 2-3 times. When we are together he is attentive, affectionate, complimentary and excited.

My question is. Should I continue to initiate ? I'm just afraid of seeming clingy. I've already set the pace of initiating. so if I stop, does that show disinterest?

I text him yesterday and got no reply. But he did tell me he'd be busy. I text him at 8pm "Hey good looking. How'd the Bench come out?" (he was working in his shop) and meeting up with friends from out of town.



I guess I just feel weird that communication (when not hanging) is almost none. Is that normal? If so, that's fine.

*he does ask me to sleep over every time we hang at his house. I always decline.

Posted by Gob_Shite

Posted by heliumfiasco
My question is. Should I continue to initiate ? I'm just afraid of seeming clingy. I've already set the pace of initiating. so if I stop, does that show disinterest?

If you continue thinking like that, you've already failed...

Just act like him and don't give a fuck. In other words, adopt the take it or leave it mentality.

Although you said you don't want anything serious, your desire for validation may ruin things.

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I'm learning to go with the flow. Honestly, I am! haha

This has been good for me.

I just have Friday off and want to ask him to hang... But after the text yesterday and me always being the one to ask... I feel cautious! Im just wondering if its normal.

Posted by Gob_Shite

Posted by heliumfiasco
My question is. Should I continue to initiate ? I'm just afraid of seeming clingy. I've already set the pace of initiating. so if I stop, does that show disinterest?

If you continue thinking like that, you've already failed...

Just act like him and don't give a fuck. In other words, adopt the take it or leave it mentality.

Although you said you don't want anything serious, your desire for validation may ruin things.

click to expand

This.

OP, think this through. If you're just having fun and don't want anything serious then you looking for a way to accommodate him in that way is besides the point. Maybe deep down you hope for something else and are confusing being patient and expectant with living in the moment.

Anyways, be spontaneous, be you without thinking too much, but most important of all, be careful with your feelings. For your sake, keep them in check until you're sure he's offering you something more serious. Remember this is the guy who broke up with his previous girlfriends because they liked him too much. That is a sign that he's not there yet. He's not mature enough to be relationship material.

Posted by Koniuchaa
lol at ' she liked me too much'. What is that supposed to mean?

It seems to me that he's just interested in having sex, since he asks you to spend the night every time you hang out and there is no communication in between

Haha. I was like damn?! That's harsh!

Now he's been texting me all day.

I'm going on vacation this weekend, and he leaves on the boat Monday for two weeks.

In reality I do really like him. But, I am cautious and if ya'll have read any of my other dating mishaps... I'm not the best at it. So, I've genuinely been working on going with the flow, and trying to not rush into stuff. I've been heavily doing me.

I just didn't know if no talking meant... fuck off. Because in person it's different! Kind of confusing!



I think his demeanor can teach me a thing or two.

PS. We've gone on 6 dates. No sex. Just fooling around for hours. (Not because of me.)

I'm not a dude, but I am a Sag.

It has taken me a few hours, up to a few days even, to respond to texts/calls. Not because I hate your guts, I just have shit to do and may space it off...ADD doesn't help haha.

I will say I don't like expectations so if someone is texting me and expecting a response right away it prob isn't gonna work out.

How I am when i'm physically in your presence is a better indicator of how I feel about you. If I seem all over you, I'm into you. My response time to texts/calls is not a good indicator lol.

I don't get back to people unless they are on my priority list...

It's true how I treat you in person is the best indication of how I feel about you... BUT You shouldn't let him dictate communication terms.

He's hitting you up to get something before he heads out... and probably redeem himself.

I don't really mind that he's not into texting. I can be totally fine with it. He has explained that to me. I guess when you're not familiar with something, it makes you question it. I'm familiar with men constantly texting... so it's not that I'm bothered. I just need more time to understand it isn't personal. Which is why I brought the question up. Half of me feels scarily at ease, but this voice in my head is like "ehhhh... this is strange" just because it isn't what I'm accustomed to.



On a side note- I totally appreciated he was up front about that at first. Because I don't get bothered at all when it takes him 2 hours to reply. It's the whole day of no contact that makes me kind of go "ughhhh". I think as a society we're so attached to our phones that we gauge people off stupid shit like text. I'm guilty of that! It isn't that actually lacking communication, it's what it implies off of past experiences. If that makes sense.

My pride is like "what if you initiate and you look weak. He doesn't like you he isn't doing what men have done previously ".... but every time I do, it's positive.

It's honestly been a completely different experience. But not in a bad way.

Don't let the fact that plans change deter you. Sag energy is spontaneous and ever changing. Just go with the flow and always be down for an adventure.

I know me. Because I'm funny. I get back to you if I like you. I hound you if I want something... and I make accommodations for people that are on my dartboard ... including text.



I'm a terrible texter unless it's to advance an agenda or it's fun.

Therefore if my interest wants me to text, I text.

He's hounding you because he wants sex/to see you. So it's to further his agenda.

Every other time you aren't a priority.

You either wait until he starts compromising or suffer from one-sided bs. Because if you let me get away with it. I'm going to do it.