Confused
This topic was created in the Sagittarius forum by JJ223 on Wednesday, December 23, 2020 and has 11 replies.
I have been FWB with a sag male for several months now. At first he told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship as he had just been cheated on by his last girlfriend. He comes over every weekend and packs a bag to stay- although he lives 24 mins away. He also goes out with me and all my friends. Attempts to buy dinner and drinks and drives all the time. Then when he was talking to one of his friends on the phone, he introduced me as his “date” for the night. We talk from sun-up to sun-down every day- by texting and calling. We ended up talking the other night and I told him that I was developing feelings for him. He got really mad and told me that he had been honest from the start about not wanting to be in a relationship. He seemed completely confused that he was doing “relationship” things with me. Are all sags like this? And would it have the potential given some time?
I've gone through that before with a Sag. I wouldn't be surprised if yours has a water moon....but yea, some Sags are Don Juans. They are just romantic like that and love treating women well. You get swept off of your feet and into a fantasy world.
The one in my situation, his flings never last more than three months. That's what he told me. So I knew to start weaning myself off after month 2. On top of him saying early on he didn't want a relationship and would waste my time etc...When people tell you who they are (or what they don't want), BELIEVE THEM.
It's hopeful to think you could be an exception to the rule, but since he's told you twice now, do not expect it to change. He is truly taking up all of your time, sun up to sun down as you say, when you could be spending that time with someone who knows they actually want to invest in you, or that time could go back into yourself to invest in your own goals. Do not let the Sag drain your sweetness. I've noticed that they will take advantage if you let them.
I'd say enjoy yourself and let yourself be swept up with amazing dates... but if it's really paining your heart, you're going to have to put yourself first and cut it off. And if he still tries to hit you up after you let him know your boundaries, block his azz, because they will continue to try to lure you back and be emotionally manipulative. And they know they are being selfish. Mine had admitted several times that he was being selfish and leaching off of my energy....yet would continue to try to lure me back. I kept going back knowing what was up. The joke is on him because I was leaching off of him monetarily. I'm a libra bish
The one in my situation, his flings never last more than three months. That's what he told me. So I knew to start weaning myself off after month 2. On top of him saying early on he didn't want a relationship and would waste my time etc...When people tell you who they are (or what they don't want), BELIEVE THEM.
It's hopeful to think you could be an exception to the rule, but since he's told you twice now, do not expect it to change. He is truly taking up all of your time, sun up to sun down as you say, when you could be spending that time with someone who knows they actually want to invest in you, or that time could go back into yourself to invest in your own goals. Do not let the Sag drain your sweetness. I've noticed that they will take advantage if you let them.
I'd say enjoy yourself and let yourself be swept up with amazing dates... but if it's really paining your heart, you're going to have to put yourself first and cut it off. And if he still tries to hit you up after you let him know your boundaries, block his azz, because they will continue to try to lure you back and be emotionally manipulative. And they know they are being selfish. Mine had admitted several times that he was being selfish and leaching off of my energy....yet would continue to try to lure me back. I kept going back knowing what was up. The joke is on him because I was leaching off of him monetarily. I'm a libra bish
the question really is why are you allowing him to get away with it? assumes he can stay over? assumes that he can occupy your space and come and go as he pleases? why do you put up with it? fwb means that you have a voice in this too. it doesn't mean one person makes all the decisions which benefit them and the other person is a doormat. fwb is for your convenience too.
i think you need to assert some boundaries. have him not stay there every weekend and start having other guys stay when you want and if that means there is another guy there on the weekend, then oh well. stop texting and speaking all day and all night. he is burning your daylight. it may be fun for him. you're good company and you're there when he needs you. i would ration your good company and cheer and spend a little on yourself and on others. after all, while you're sharing it with him, you may as well be sharing it with others as well.
i think you need to assert some boundaries. have him not stay there every weekend and start having other guys stay when you want and if that means there is another guy there on the weekend, then oh well. stop texting and speaking all day and all night. he is burning your daylight. it may be fun for him. you're good company and you're there when he needs you. i would ration your good company and cheer and spend a little on yourself and on others. after all, while you're sharing it with him, you may as well be sharing it with others as well.
Friends and lovers
Lovers and Friends
He set his boundaries early on. Men have always been encouraged to tell women what they want. It’s women who have issues setting boundaries because we fear not being desired and nagging or controlling.
You see it on dxp all the time.
“I started seeing a guy and he told me he doesn’t want a relationship. We are fwb and I’m confused because he acts like more than a fwb”
Men have discovered how to get their needs met.
Lovers and Friends
He set his boundaries early on. Men have always been encouraged to tell women what they want. It’s women who have issues setting boundaries because we fear not being desired and nagging or controlling.
You see it on dxp all the time.
“I started seeing a guy and he told me he doesn’t want a relationship. We are fwb and I’m confused because he acts like more than a fwb”
Men have discovered how to get their needs met.
Really think if you’re getting your needs met cause his needs are being met again and again.
That mofo even contributing to the electric bill?
That mofo even contributing to the electric bill?
Everything @DMV and @jeane said
I'll just add that you can't take physical affection, long chats, and spending the night (gf/bf type actions) as him wanting to lock you down in the relationship. Gotta take someone at their word and keep boundaries in place to protect yourself.
He's kinda an ass for acting mad at you for catching feelings and being brave enough to be honest about it. Yes he was straight with you from the jump. But proximity and time = developing feelings. That's why most fwb tend to be fleeting cause someone gets attached and the other person ends up having to distance themselves.
Just take this as a learning experience for the next time you have a casual sex repeat situation. If you are continuing on there cut him off from spending the night, hanging with your friends group, the all day communication. Be cold and only hit him up when you need that itch scratched. Let him know all that other stuff is confusing for you and has you developing feelings.
I'll just add that you can't take physical affection, long chats, and spending the night (gf/bf type actions) as him wanting to lock you down in the relationship. Gotta take someone at their word and keep boundaries in place to protect yourself.
He's kinda an ass for acting mad at you for catching feelings and being brave enough to be honest about it. Yes he was straight with you from the jump. But proximity and time = developing feelings. That's why most fwb tend to be fleeting cause someone gets attached and the other person ends up having to distance themselves.
Just take this as a learning experience for the next time you have a casual sex repeat situation. If you are continuing on there cut him off from spending the night, hanging with your friends group, the all day communication. Be cold and only hit him up when you need that itch scratched. Let him know all that other stuff is confusing for you and has you developing feelings.
If you are interested, I can take you out on a date and call you my boo. 8)
Posted by LadyNeptuneWord!
Everything @DMV and @jeane said
I'll just add that you can't take physical affection, long chats, and spending the night (gf/bf type actions) as him wanting to lock you down in the relationship. Gotta take someone at their word and keep boundaries in place to protect yourself.
He's kinda an ass for acting mad at you for catching feelings and being brave enough to be honest about it. Yes he was straight with you from the jump. But proximity and time = developing feelings. That's why most fwb tend to be fleeting cause someone gets attached and the other person ends up having to distance themselves.
Just take this as a learning experience for the next time you have a casual sex repeat situation. If you are continuing on there cut him off from spending the night, hanging with your friends group, the all day communication. Be cold and only hit him up when you need that itch scratched. Let him know all that other stuff is confusing for you and has you developing feelings.
Don’t look him in the eye...ever
Don’t cook for him
Don’t let him stay longer than a orgasm
Don’t let him spend the night
Don’t ask him about his day
Don’t ask him his birthday
Don’t answer a damn question he asks about you
Laugh and change the subject to the NBA
Don’t ask him about his life. Period
He is the one who is emotionally unavailable and is willing to take a bus of women with him. He said he don’t want no relationship. He’s reduced himself to being a penis, an appendage. That’s all he has to offer. He did that. I repeat, he did that.
He is nothing but a man of the night.
If you are emotionally available, part ways with emotionally unavailable individuals.
Can’t be mad. He said it from the beginning. You didn’t listen.
I'm surprised "deckedandecker" isn't all over this yet. I think Sags do this. I guess if you don't wanna enjoy the romance of it just leave...
Posted by DMVyepPosted by LadyNeptune
Everything @DMV and @jeane said
I'll just add that you can't take physical affection, long chats, and spending the night (gf/bf type actions) as him wanting to lock you down in the relationship. Gotta take someone at their word and keep boundaries in place to protect yourself.
He's kinda an ass for acting mad at you for catching feelings and being brave enough to be honest about it. Yes he was straight with you from the jump. But proximity and time = developing feelings. That's why most fwb tend to be fleeting cause someone gets attached and the other person ends up having to distance themselves.
Just take this as a learning experience for the next time you have a casual sex repeat situation. If you are continuing on there cut him off from spending the night, hanging with your friends group, the all day communication. Be cold and only hit him up when you need that itch scratched. Let him know all that other stuff is confusing for you and has you developing feelings.
Word!
Don’t look him in the eye...ever
Don’t cook for him
Don’t let him stay longer than a orgasm
Don’t let him spend the night
Don’t ask him about his day
Don’t ask him his birthday
Don’t answer a damn question he asks about you
Laugh and change the subject to the NBA
Don’t ask him about his life. Period
He is the one who is emotionally unavailable and is willing to take a bus of women with him. He said he don’t want no relationship. He’s reduced himself to being a penis, an appendage. That’s all he has to offer. He did that. I repeat, he did that.
He is nothing but a man of the night.
If you are emotionally available, part ways with emotionally unavailable individuals.click to expand
give him exactly what he asks for until you find something better op
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