safire
@safire
11 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 174 · Topics: 11
How to stay in a relationship?
Posted by starloverThank you for this, Starlover. I value your opinions highly. I think you're probably right. Being with myself is definitely something I tend to "unlearn" as a relationship progresses.
You have to learn to be with yourself first before being able to stay with another person
this sounds familiar... sags do not do drama free relationships. when you say nothing is wrong that is the problem.
Yep, you're bored.
what about committing to a child?
Have you experiences with commit to a group, club, party or communit? Or to a dog or a cat?
how often do you change your place?
how often do you change your place?
Oh no, Weeds and Wynter you're both so right, I am bored! I am bored out of my mind. Dang, I see it so clearly now. I love them when they don't need me or want me and that is the biggest issue right there. It's the smiling wall theory again, sigh 😄
Dwelling, nope, I have no experience of committing other than prior relationships. I don't have kids, I haven't had pets of my own, I don't belong to any groups or communities and I don't do hobbies that involve other people. I fall out with people easily, because I don't keep in touch. The only routines in my life are going to work and hygiene and cleaning related things. Everything else just happens when it happens unfortunately.. Within the last seven years, I have moved eight times, but not because I particularly wanted to.
Dwelling, nope, I have no experience of committing other than prior relationships. I don't have kids, I haven't had pets of my own, I don't belong to any groups or communities and I don't do hobbies that involve other people. I fall out with people easily, because I don't keep in touch. The only routines in my life are going to work and hygiene and cleaning related things. Everything else just happens when it happens unfortunately.. Within the last seven years, I have moved eight times, but not because I particularly wanted to.
Dontgetmewrong, thank you for the advice, I need to give it a try. I just thought of a book you could write - mindfulness in relationships 😉 It's encouraging to hear commitment is possible.
Busyeyes88, I agree with you to some extent. I do wonder if it would be in his best interest for me to "set him free", if that would be the most respectable thing to do. Then again, I think for sagittarians, part of the learning happens in a relationship. You can only learn so much from leading a life in solitude. I genuinely felt like I was ready and this time it would be different. It is quite taxing to break off a relationship time and time again to take a personal time out, wouldn't you agree? Of course what needs to be done needs to be done, but still I'm thinking it's not quite as black and white as we make it out to be. Though I do question should I be asking this if everything was well, if this was the right person for me to be with. Big questions that I don't have the answers to. All I know is that I don't feel like breaking it off, something about me and him does feel very right.
Busyeyes88, I agree with you to some extent. I do wonder if it would be in his best interest for me to "set him free", if that would be the most respectable thing to do. Then again, I think for sagittarians, part of the learning happens in a relationship. You can only learn so much from leading a life in solitude. I genuinely felt like I was ready and this time it would be different. It is quite taxing to break off a relationship time and time again to take a personal time out, wouldn't you agree? Of course what needs to be done needs to be done, but still I'm thinking it's not quite as black and white as we make it out to be. Though I do question should I be asking this if everything was well, if this was the right person for me to be with. Big questions that I don't have the answers to. All I know is that I don't feel like breaking it off, something about me and him does feel very right.
Posted by busyeyes88That's not the case for Brad Pitt, Jay-Z, or Nicki Minaj and her Bull!Posted by safireI feel sags look for perfection in other and not themselves!!! There is no such thing as the "right person". Everyone has to compromise as no two people are the same, but sag does not seem to like compromise. They seem to like things done on their terms. Sag is a horse. Have you seen "black beauty" the series? When the horse is separated from its original owner and on its journey to find its original owner it meets many "different owners" who gives Beauty shelter, food and companionship until beauty begins to have a yearning to find her original owner again... And the cycle continues until she eventually winds up with her true owner?? Well that is sag... Sags should stay single until they can learn the art of sharing and compromise... They seem to to hurt alot of people in their "journeys"!! Or get yourself another sag or libra, gem or aquarius... But if you are presently with an earth sign or water sign, let him go... By setting him free you will set yourself free... Sags are destined to wander the earth by themselves!!!
Dontgetmewrong, thank you for the advice, I need to give it a try. I just thought of a book you could write - mindfulness in relationships 😉 It's encouraging to hear commitment is possible.
Busyeyes88, I agree with you to some extent. I do wonder if it would be in his best interest for me to "set him free", if that would be the most respectable thing to do. Then again, I think for sagittarians, part of the learning happens in a relationship. You can only learn so much from leading a life in solitude. I genuinely felt like I was ready and this time it would be different. It is quite taxing to break off a relationship time and time again to take a personal time out, wouldn't you agree? Of course what needs to be done needs to be done, but still I'm thinking it's not quite as black and white as we make it out to be. Though I do question should I be asking this if everything was well, if this was the right person for me to be with. Big questions that I don't have the answers to. All I know is that I don't feel like breaking it off, something about me and him does feel very right.click to expand
But you do make sobering points.
Jeff Bridges
@OP,
When you learn that not everything needs to be experienced alone. When not every question has to be answered or it will answer itself. Not everything sought or fixed. When you learn that you can expand yourself through a committed relationship with another...then you eill settle down and not be bored.
When you learn that not everything needs to be experienced alone. When not every question has to be answered or it will answer itself. Not everything sought or fixed. When you learn that you can expand yourself through a committed relationship with another...then you eill settle down and not be bored.
OMG!!! thank you for not making me feel crazy!! I'm exactly in the same boat w my leo! 😢 help?!
Wow you made it 3 years? Thats pretty damn good.
Ive noticed the more time I spend on dxp, the more bossy I get.
Anyways, I dont know what you can do.
I was able to put up with the sag for so long because I really did love him. I wanted to hang out.
So idk.
I also dont believe in being with one person forever. Youre allowed to change people and build something with them.
Ive noticed the more time I spend on dxp, the more bossy I get.
Anyways, I dont know what you can do.
I was able to put up with the sag for so long because I really did love him. I wanted to hang out.
So idk.
I also dont believe in being with one person forever. Youre allowed to change people and build something with them.
Posted by safire
Oh no, Weeds and Wynter you're both so right, I am bored! I am bored out of my mind. Dang, I see it so clearly now. I love them when they don't need me or want me and that is the biggest issue right there. It's the smiling wall theory again, sigh 😄
Dwelling, nope, I have no experience of committing other than prior relationships. I don't have kids, I haven't had pets of my own, I don't belong to any groups or communities and I don't do hobbies that involve other people. I fall out with people easily, because I don't keep in touch. The only routines in my life are going to work and hygiene and cleaning related things. Everything else just happens when it happens unfortunately.. Within the last seven years, I have moved eight times, but not because I particularly wanted to.
I only care for your goals. Cause I had them too.
For your goals it is good to have some exercise in commitment. Ideas in the head can do it only so much.
Check also your chart. I have empty 5th, 7th and 11th houses. Their rulers are all in the first house. This fits to my life. I wanted to have a family all my life. But I had no exercise in committing to anything else either.
My other mistake was to wait for the perfect partner before I'd commit to a child. If I had the chance once again I'd commit to a child at least. Relationships nowadays aren't forever. But children are still made. why not by us? Sagittarius woman can be a lovely mother. I'm still children's best friend.
Id like to commit to a child. Seems like a good investment
Posted by safireThis may have already been written, but perhaps start here. It give the impression you pursued a relationship to escape something you hated vs being ready to share your life with another. Two very different feelings.
... I don't miss being single one bit. In fact I hated it.
Being with yourself should make you equally as happy.
To be clear, I'm not suggesting you should break up with your partner. You'll figure that out. Simply explore why you're really in this relationship at this moment and address *that*.
Posted by safireHmph.
Oh no, Weeds and Wynter you're both so right, I am bored! I am bored out of my mind. Dang, I see it so clearly now. I love them when they don't need me or want me and that is the biggest issue right there.
Posted by busyeyes8822 exclamation points in 11 sentences. Close to a record i bet.Posted by dontgetmewrongYes she does!! It always brings me to tears sometimes she has even ended up with wicked owners too!! But she get to her master in the end!! Very sag!!! Rent the series!! I know that feeling... In Chinese astrology I am fire horse... I can totally relate to it!! Translate it to Western astrology I am gemini!!! I relate to both probably more than typical taurus. . It was the sags "freedom" that attracted me to him.... I never try to control a person's freedom... My ex before sag was a Gemini and ex husband Aquarius!!! I understand freedom!!!
I've never seen the series, so she does wind up finding her original owner?click to expand
Posted by DMV
Id like to commit to a child. Seems like a good investment
yes, do it please. I don't want to see other sag girls in a similar situation like mine.
not sure what you mean by investment. but my point is if we want it we should do it. as long as it is possible. cause it will be most likely the best part of the life. ours and those around us. incl. your country. Often in the industrial countries the growth of the population is negative.
Posted by HappygoluckyPosted by busyeyes8822 exclamation points in 11 sentences. Close to a record i bet.Posted by dontgetmewrongYes she does!! It always brings me to tears sometimes she has even ended up with wicked owners too!! But she get to her master in the end!! Very sag!!! Rent the series!! I know that feeling... In Chinese astrology I am fire horse... I can totally relate to it!! Translate it to Western astrology I am gemini!!! I relate to both probably more than typical taurus. . It was the sags "freedom" that attracted me to him.... I never try to control a person's freedom... My ex before sag was a Gemini and ex husband Aquarius!!! I understand freedom!!!
I've never seen the series, so she does wind up finding her original owner?click to expand
On dxp it is a sign of Leo placement ob board.
Posted by DMVMore rewarding than investing in a man for a Sag. Kids will calm people down and force them to be responsible (providing they are morally sound) and teach them patience.
Id like to commit to a child. Seems like a good investment
At 16 I had to learn these lessons very fast.
Posted by busyeyes88I beg to differ. I agonize over my own shortcomings and pick myself apart constantly. I don't feel bad about it though, only happy when I can identify where I could be a better person at. In my eyes my partner is perfect, he has done nothing wrong. He is perfect just the way he is.
I feel sags look for perfection in other and not themselves!!!
Sags should stay single until they can learn the art of sharing and compromise... They seem to to hurt alot of people in their "journeys"!!
But if you are presently with an earth sign or water sign, let him go... By setting him free you will set yourself free... Sags are destined to wander the earth by themselves!!!
While I appreciate you taking time to comment on my post, I am having difficulties feeling grateful of your words. I am sensing some sort of bitterness from you. It feels to me like you're saying I should break up a loving bond just because "I don't deserve" to date because of my sign. I have mixed feelings about your comment. We, too, have a right to love and experience life, whether it is a journey with a defined end point or not. Perhaps I am misunderstanding your words.
Posted by thinktoomuchIt must be just all in my head, this sense of lost freedom. You make a good point, perhaps this is how I am when I'm committed, never thought of that, thanks!
But what kind of freedom is it, you seek then? You love your guy, you don´t want to be single... Maybe you just need to fit the words to your train of thought. Maybe this is the way you are in a relationship, when you are in fact committed. Who is asking you to do more?
To answer the question about freedom, I think beautifulsoul74 said it well:
Posted by beautifulsoul74What a beautiful and peaceful thought, I hope I can internalize that. Thank you 🙂
When you learn that not everything needs to be experienced alone. When not every question has to be answered or it will answer itself. Not everything sought or fixed. When you learn that you can expand yourself through a committed relationship with another...then you will settle down and not be bored.click to expand
Posted by Sag89Hang in there! It's a bit of a sensitive issue. One is all alone with relationship boredom, because it's not what you're supposed to feel and it's a topic that is hard to discuss with your partner or loved ones. It's a selfish thing but still so painful. Usually rather than receiving support, one would be frowned upon and receive the kind of advice "you don't deserve him, break up already!".
OMG!!! thank you for not making me feel crazy!! I'm exactly in the same boat w my leo! 😢 help?!
Posted by DMVMade it to three years twice, but that's in the past. I've become rather anxious of the three year mark. I hope the third time will be the charm 🙂 I notice it too. I need to take breaks from DXP because the site makes me feel uneasy and not like myself when I'm exposed to the comments here too much.
Wow you made it 3 years? Thats pretty damn good.
Ive noticed the more time I spend on dxp, the more bossy I get.
Posted by DwellingOnMoveOh you bet I've tried. It's been one of my main goals for the past few years to develop routines and discipline. I have seen minor success but none of the routines remain to this day. I take good care of everything I need to. I don't think I'm ready to be a parent yet, I realize I am still enjoying a self centered life way too much. Rather, I feel like there's so much I love to be doing and to pursue, a child would not fit in the picture. One day, though. I hope it won't be too late then. I have all the other planets in the 5th house except for jupiter, mars and pluto. Maybe that's why.
For your goals it is good to have some exercise in commitment. Ideas in the head can do it only so much.
Check also your chart. I have empty 5th, 7th and 11th houses.click to expand
Posted by PhoenixRisingHmm I don't think I had any motives behind pursuing a relationship. He happened to be there, I happened to be there, we were good friends and things just kind of happened. A fair and valid point though, but neither one was pushing for it, it just kind of organically came to be. I love being by myself, I should have been more specific 🙂Posted by safireThis may have already been written, but perhaps start here. It give the impression you pursued a relationship to escape something you hated vs being ready to share your life with another. Two very different feelings.
... I don't miss being single one bit. In fact I hated it.
Being with yourself should make you equally as happy.click to expand
"Oh you bet I've tried. It's been one of my main goals for the past few years to develop routines and discipline."
I don't talk about routines themselves.
Commit to people or animals or plants or clubs.
Try to commit anyway.
But invent games to make it fun.
During my school time I went to the school each day via another path.
I don't talk about routines themselves.
Commit to people or animals or plants or clubs.
Try to commit anyway.
But invent games to make it fun.
During my school time I went to the school each day via another path.
Posted by DwellingOnMoveNow you're talking me right into it, I'm starting to feel excited 😄 That actually sounds like something I might enjoy doing. If there is fun and variety, I think I could live with it ultimately being a commitment. Excellent suggestion, much appreciated.
"Oh you bet I've tried. It's been one of my main goals for the past few years to develop routines and discipline."
I don't talk about routines themselves.
Commit to people or animals or plants or clubs.
Try to commit anyway.
But invent games to make it fun.
During my school time I went to the school each day via another path.
I'm so glad to hear this.
Feel no pressure. Just do it and come back to tell us in a few months. positive or negative will be useful.
Feel no pressure. Just do it and come back to tell us in a few months. positive or negative will be useful.
Posted by DwellingOnMoveWill do, I'll certainly try to implement this suggestion into my life. My mind is in a knot right now thinking how I could also apply it to my relationship, so interesting to think about it 🙂
I'm so glad to hear this.
Feel no pressure. Just do it and come back to tell us in a few months. positive or negative will be useful.
lol
Dwelling 😉
From the astrological point of view, my relationship anxiety could be stemming form mercury squaring my natal moon and jupiter. I started to feel this way exactly when those squares came to be. The downside of having most of my planets packed together.. When the squares hit, they really hit hard for a while, quite the paralyzing effect and it's those times when I just want to cry and stay in bed for a week or two - which is normally very unlike me.
From the astrological point of view, my relationship anxiety could be stemming form mercury squaring my natal moon and jupiter. I started to feel this way exactly when those squares came to be. The downside of having most of my planets packed together.. When the squares hit, they really hit hard for a while, quite the paralyzing effect and it's those times when I just want to cry and stay in bed for a week or two - which is normally very unlike me.
ah I understand. moon and jup. ja
Last years I learned to be prepared for September time. Virgo squaring multiple planets of mine. plus jupiter this year. I got thick skin.
Last years I learned to be prepared for September time. Virgo squaring multiple planets of mine. plus jupiter this year. I got thick skin.
Yeah well next year I'm gonna plan my vacations around astrological events and when the square times come I will just go hike by myself in the mountains for a month or something 😄
lol..... lessons learned
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