ive lost that loving feeling

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DMV
@DMV
15 Years25,000+ PostsSagittarius

Comments: 295 · Posts: 28989 · Topics: 654
you ever missed someone sooo much and then finally saw them and there was nothing. no sparks, no nothing. where did the sparks go? where did the electrifying feeling go?

i missed him badly. i journaled everyday that i wanted him back. life was just not the same. i finally saw him, i even had sex and still, nothing. i noticed during sex that i didnt feel the same way anymore. im kinda bummed lol i almost stopped having sex, but what the hell, why not finish.

this also happened with my ex leo. he was all that and i made him my world. then one day he dumped me but came back 2 weeks later. at first i missed and used to cry in the shower alot. couldnt work, eat, and just wanted to die. then he called 2 weeks later and we met up.i wanted him back so badly, but when he came back..i was the opposite of smitten, i was indifferent. i admit, i didnt have those same "i want all of you" feeling anymore. but, i faked the funk and carried on with a 3 year relationship.

i wonder why my feelings changed so..when i was with the persons above, i wanted all of them. i was obsessed. lose my job kind of obsessed. they leave, im heartbroken, i miss them, want them, they come back and i dont feel the same way.

sigh
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beautifulsoul74
@beautifulsoul74
13 Years5,000+ Posts

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Posted by tauruscancerdelight
DMV, this is a great subject!

I think that all of us have been there at some point...it's like saving money to buy that beautiful pair of shoes forever, and then once you have them, meh, maybe you wear them once and they lost it's appeal.

It's such a bitter-sweet feeling to go through that, to lose that loving feelings. So empty, yet so liberating too...
My ex did that to me once, I have all but forgotten him, but then he came back and charmed and begged and it took a long time to warm up again, so after a while I gave in, and ofcourse after a while it was back to same old drama with him. I regretted taking him back, and I hated that I did.

It's sad, very sad and very difficult. They say opposite of love is hate, I say it's indifference:/



Is it perhaps because we as a society are becoming too superficial...especially when it comes to love? I think that we get so caught up in the chase and romance, the back and forth that we've forgotten that love at its depths is peaceful and beautiful. You're analogy of the shoes is perfect. We wear them out and go get a new pair only to do the same.
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MrFirebird
@MrFirebird
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 13 · Posts: 10188 · Topics: 699
The truth of the matter, here, DMV is that you do NOT value people as much as you should. IF you had, the feeling wouldn't be lost so easily. To draw an analogy, I want a doughnut. I eat the doughnut. Once satisfied, I crave the doughnut no more.
You value your lovers like I value a doughnut. In other words, short and sweet, you use people as if they were nothing
more than a doughnut. I have used a doughnut to illustrate what I have observed in what you've said.
The difference is, doughnuts..... do NOT have feelings. People do. Most of them, anyway.
Just how many doughnuts you have eaten, by the way?


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TheLadySagittarius
@TheLadySagittarius
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 5 · Posts: 1363 · Topics: 21
I do not want someone who doesn't want me. I stayed in a long marriage feeling dead inside but young kids were involved. Back into dating after 22 years, times have sure changed. The 2 lessons I've learned already: men are not always honest and upfront & if he doesn't want me, I'm gone. No begging, calling, texting in the world will bring that loving feeling back for him.
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lnana04
@lnana04
15 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 2 · Posts: 8822 · Topics: 132
Posted by MrFirebird
The truth of the matter, here, DMV is that you do NOT value people as much as you should. IF you had, the feeling wouldn't be lost so easily. To draw an analogy, I want a doughnut. I eat the doughnut. Once satisfied, I crave the doughnut no more.
You value your lovers like I value a doughnut. In other words, short and sweet, you use people as if they were nothing
more than a doughnut. I have used a doughnut to illustrate what I have observed in what you've said.
The difference is, doughnuts..... do NOT have feelings. People do. Most of them, anyway.
Just how many doughnuts you have eaten, by the way?






I think there's a point in here. Stupid question, but how do you value a person? I think what many of us probably did experience when good was being addicted to the way that person made us feel, or the literal chemistry created in that relationship, but you are right...maybe it never was the value of that person.

Its funny because Ive thought before how Id never want to be in a type of relationship where its more about how I make someone feel than about me as a person, but still, I dont know how to tell the difference between the two, if that makes any sense.
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DMV
@DMV
15 Years25,000+ PostsSagittarius

Comments: 295 · Posts: 28989 · Topics: 654
Posted by cheekyfaerie
She doesn't value others? She only wants what she can't have?

Whatever.

She puts a high value on herself and there's nothing wrong with that. There's a reason they give you that schpeel on the airplane about putting your own mask on first.

When trust is gone, it's gone. I've been there. And I think it's worse with our moon. Kudos for trying and ultimately going with your gut. Not everything's fake it till ya make it.



thats all i can do right. i mean you know what it feels like to not feel something for someone anymore, especially when u felt so much so strongly.
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DMV
@DMV
15 Years25,000+ PostsSagittarius

Comments: 295 · Posts: 28989 · Topics: 654
Posted by tiziani
Posted by cheekyfaerie
She doesn't value others? She only wants what she can't have?

Whatever.

She puts a high value on herself and there's nothing wrong with that.



Well there obviously is something wrong with that if it causes enough thought to make this thread.

There is such a thing as having too high standards. I've been there. And the end result is that it only leaves you empty and dissatisfied.

click to expand




its not about having high standards. i know people fuck up. hell, i fuck up.
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DMV
@DMV
15 Years25,000+ PostsSagittarius

Comments: 295 · Posts: 28989 · Topics: 654
Posted by LIBRA1234
Posted by DMV
where did my passion for the other person go?



I believe that you idolized him before. Probably u knew his faults but ignored them because of being in love. When he left you, u opened your eyes and saw him in a more realistic way. You saw the guy who hurt you, who is not perfect and who is not your shalter to go to anymore when you need comfort. I think it is also an instict to protect yourself since you were hurt by him.
click to expand





yes. i can agree with this. it is hard for me to be objective in a situation.
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DMV
@DMV
15 Years25,000+ PostsSagittarius

Comments: 295 · Posts: 28989 · Topics: 654
Posted by Sag89
Dude this happens with every guy that dumped/left. You get so upset. I mean SO upset. Than I feel like you end up just crying it all out.

Than by the time they come around your excited but never as existing as you think.


Like your body shuts off from them cause they rejected you and even your like i'll give it another chance. Its just not the same. I feel you




uh huh. i take rejection seriously and deeply. even though i know that once im rejected there really is no going back, like a dumbass i try again. oh so hoping to rekindle that "i cant live without you" passion but its never there.

its like a switch turned off.
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DMV
@DMV
15 Years25,000+ PostsSagittarius

Comments: 295 · Posts: 28989 · Topics: 654
Posted by Sagtastic
This has happened to me often. I spent years missing my ex Gemini but now I'm like, and been there done that. He still looks the same plus a couple pounds but that spark is gone. I think is because us sag aim towards the future and don't look back.



speaking of the future,

have u ever met someone and saw your whole future planned out like a flash of light...a future, for better or for worse.

almost psychic like.
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DMV
@DMV
15 Years25,000+ PostsSagittarius

Comments: 295 · Posts: 28989 · Topics: 654
Posted by lnana04
Posted by MrFirebird
The truth of the matter, here, DMV is that you do NOT value people as much as you should. IF you had, the feeling wouldn't be lost so easily. To draw an analogy, I want a doughnut. I eat the doughnut. Once satisfied, I crave the doughnut no more.
You value your lovers like I value a doughnut. In other words, short and sweet, you use people as if they were nothing
more than a doughnut. I have used a doughnut to illustrate what I have observed in what you've said.
The difference is, doughnuts..... do NOT have feelings. People do. Most of them, anyway.
Just how many doughnuts you have eaten, by the way?






I think there's a point in here. Stupid question, but how do you value a person? I think what many of us probably did experience when good was being addicted to the way that person made us feel, or the literal chemistry created in that relationship, but you are right...maybe it never was the value of that person.

Its funny because Ive thought before how Id never want to be in a type of relationship where its more about how I make someone feel than about me as a person, but still, I dont know how to tell the difference between the two, if that makes any sense.
click to expand




my value may not always relate to the spoken word. but this girl right here goes hard for someone that i want.

i think your talking about emotional blackmail. i dont want to stay with someone because of the high and security they get from my love. what about my emotional needs? shyt, we should be emotionally blackmailing each other. its only fair 😛

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LittlePisces
@LittlePisces
13 Years

Comments: 1 · Posts: 79 · Topics: 6
Posted by DMV
Posted by LittlePisces
yeeuppp
I'm all about that.
You probably know that very well now, girl 🙂
I feel you.



how goes the sag?
click to expand





It's over and I'm glad it ended.
I saw your post about seeing your future in a flash~
I heard about that but never experienced it myself.
It's call... THAT'S MY FUTURE HUSBAND, DAYYYUMMMM
Apparently, all my friends have that feeling about their husband when they first started dating.
We just have to meet the right one ....