Sag keeps me hanging

I met this guy online a year ago. We instantly clicked, went on a few dates, had a steamy night together and then I had to go back to my country. We remained in touch for months and months calling every single day, getting to know each other, providing comfort and support during the lockdown. It happened to become a beautiful and powerful connection both intellectually, emotionally and physically. After all I came to visit him after 9 months apart and stayed in his apartment at first. I was eager to catch up on everything we’ve missed out, and we happened to perfectly cohabitate together in one space keeping it flirty and fun. He introduced me to all his friends, they kept complementing me and he liked it a lot. But he kept calling me a friend, so I brought up a conversation about our relationship status. He explained he was crazy about me and we truly have a connection / chemistry but he needs emotions. To me our foundation is enough to build something upon it, and the more experiences we would go through together, would create more emotions. Also we decided that I move out and live on my own. It’s going well so far, we see each other regularly, he’s taken me on a holiday, we are affectionate and caring towards each other (some fights occur though). Sometimes he refuses to have sex (and sometimes its the opposite and crazy) and in his own words it’s him trying to be cautious, so we won’t fall into a path of just being physical. So 2,5 months later (and a year in total since we met) we are still “friends”. He seems to be cool on his own, having his freedom, following his routine, meeting with friends and etc. So my question is if it’s a done deal and he just keeps me hanging? Or he for real needs more time to make a decision to be serious and needs to develop more feelings first?

We’ve been on so many adventures together so far, I surprise him, He sends me texts calling me the best and thanking for my patience and love. But I want to progress and to become his girlfriend. And if not, then won’t waste my time because I already got attached to him. What also bothers me is that he’s in his early 40 and is supposed to be ready for marriage, he keeps telling me he wants a family but then here’s me right in front of him and I feel like he doesn’t see this with me. Also he likes to brag how popular he is among ladies, and he has all these women liking him on Instagram and I secretly hate it.

Any tips what I can do about this situation? Is there any potential or he’s just keeping me close because I’m hot / fun / smart / his friends like me?

Posted by BrookeDavis

"He explained he was crazy about me and we truly have a connection / chemistry but he needs emotions.

That line stands out. He's missing emotions, unless you provide them somehow I wouldn't think of getting too far with this..

Posted by pisceanloves

Posted by BrookeDavis

"He explained he was crazy about me and we truly have a connection / chemistry but he needs emotions.

That line stands out. He's missing emotions, unless you provide them somehow I wouldn't think of getting too far with this..

click to expand

Agreed

Take him at his word.

Posted by DMV

Posted by pisceanloves

Posted by BrookeDavis

"He explained he was crazy about me and we truly have a connection / chemistry but he needs emotions.

That line stands out. He's missing emotions, unless you provide them somehow I wouldn't think of getting too far with this..

Agreed

Take him at his word.

click to expand

For me being an Aquarius emotions come from time and experiences together. It’s something you both create.

I have a feeling he confuses emotions with passion or something else. Something grand and blinding that will not matter in a few months.

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by DMV

Posted by pisceanloves

Posted by BrookeDavis

"He explained he was crazy about me and we truly have a connection / chemistry but he needs emotions.

That line stands out. He's missing emotions, unless you provide them somehow I wouldn't think of getting too far with this..

Agreed

Take him at his word.

For me being an Aquarius emotions come from time and experiences together. It’s something you both create.

I have a feeling he confuses emotions with passion or something else. Something grand and blinding that will not matter in a few months.

click to expand

He’s not confused.

You’re the one confused.

Sagittarius treat friends like lovers and lovers like friends. It’s all a good time.

Read the other sag posts. Same story

This man told you his boundaries and got his way 100%

His needs are being met

Are yours?

Posted by DMV

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by DMV

Posted by pisceanloves

Posted by BrookeDavis

"He explained he was crazy about me and we truly have a connection / chemistry but he needs emotions.

That line stands out. He's missing emotions, unless you provide them somehow I wouldn't think of getting too far with this..

Agreed

Take him at his word.

For me being an Aquarius emotions come from time and experiences together. It’s something you both create.

I have a feeling he confuses emotions with passion or something else. Something grand and blinding that will not matter in a few months.

He’s not confused.

You’re the one confused.

Sagittarius treat friends like lovers and lovers like friends. It’s all a good time.

Read the other sag posts. Same story

This man told you his boundaries and got his way 100%

His needs are being met

Are yours?

click to expand

No, my needs are not met. That’s why I’m trying to figure out what I can do about it. Either move on (though it’s hard) or there’s some tactic I can use to turn this situation around?

You don’t come across people who you connect on such a deep level with that often, so I don’t want to lose this connection. But I’m not interested in being friends

Posted by DMV

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by DMV

Posted by pisceanloves

Posted by BrookeDavis

"He explained he was crazy about me and we truly have a connection / chemistry but he needs emotions.

That line stands out. He's missing emotions, unless you provide them somehow I wouldn't think of getting too far with this..

Agreed

Take him at his word.

For me being an Aquarius emotions come from time and experiences together. It’s something you both create.

I have a feeling he confuses emotions with passion or something else. Something grand and blinding that will not matter in a few months.

He’s not confused.

You’re the one confused.

Sagittarius treat friends like lovers and lovers like friends. It’s all a good time.

Read the other sag posts. Same story

This man told you his boundaries and got his way 100%

His needs are being met

Are yours?

click to expand

Thank you

Do you guys still live a long distance from each other?

When he says he needs emotions, is it that he needs you to show them?

I think a Sag needs consistency, communication, and attention. You seem to be showing and giving that.

I’m a woman and can date a man for years, because I’m just slow like that. Half the time I don’t even realize my emotions, I just know I like spending time with a person.

I think as long as you two are enjoying yourselves, spending quality time together, having adventures together, things are going in the right direction.

He thanks you for your patience and love.

This says a lot.

Sometimes titles don’t mean much. It’s just been a year, which is usually a good time to see where you stand with a person, but it’s up to you on if you want to continue to get closer to him or stop what you two are doing.

It’s hard to hold a Sag’s attention and you have it, as well as good times with him. It seems like it’s going somewhere, in my opinion.

Do you two tell each other “I love you”?

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by DMV

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by DMV

Posted by pisceanloves

Posted by BrookeDavis

"He explained he was crazy about me and we truly have a connection / chemistry but he needs emotions.

That line stands out. He's missing emotions, unless you provide them somehow I wouldn't think of getting too far with this..

Agreed

Take him at his word.

For me being an Aquarius emotions come from time and experiences together. It’s something you both create.

I have a feeling he confuses emotions with passion or something else. Something grand and blinding that will not matter in a few months.

He’s not confused.

You’re the one confused.

Sagittarius treat friends like lovers and lovers like friends. It’s all a good time.

Read the other sag posts. Same story

This man told you his boundaries and got his way 100%

His needs are being met

Are yours?

No, my needs are not met. That’s why I’m trying to figure out what I can do about it. Either move on (though it’s hard) or there’s some tactic I can use to turn this situation around?

You don’t come across people who you connect on such a deep level with that often, so I don’t want to lose this connection. But I’m not interested in being friends

click to expand

But if he is not feeling emotions then what is the point of staying? You don't need to stop contact but can back away a bit. What if he moves on to someone he feels emotional connection with and then doesn't have time for you? He does not know what he feels for you since you are already there for him without him investing emotionally.

I’d move on and keep it movin

You’re falling for someone who isn’t willing to fall with you

He will probably kick and scream because his routine is changing against his will

But at least you’ve stopped wasting your time

Posted by saggurl88

Do you guys still live a long distance from each other?

When he says he needs emotions, is it that he needs you to show them?

I think a Sag needs consistency, communication, and attention. You seem to be showing and giving that.

I’m a woman and can date a man for years, because I’m just slow like that. Half the time I don’t even realize my emotions, I just know I like spending time with a person.

I think as long as you two are enjoying yourselves, spending quality time together, having adventures together, things are going in the right direction.

He thanks you for your patience and love.

This says a lot.

Sometimes titles don’t mean much. It’s just been a year, which is usually a good time to see where you stand with a person, but it’s up to you on if you want to continue to get closer to him or stop what you two are doing.

It’s hard to hold a Sag’s attention and you have it, as well as good times with him. It seems like it’s going somewhere, in my opinion.

Do you two tell each other “I love you”?

THere you have it in the flesh.

Saggis are okay and will stick around if the times are good

Much like the other mutables if the gray area is fun...why change

Am I reading this correctly? You moved to his area to be closer to him and are stuck in the friend zone 🤕

Posted by saggurl88

Do you guys still live a long distance from each other?

When he says he needs emotions, is it that he needs you to show them?

I think a Sag needs consistency, communication, and attention. You seem to be showing and giving that.

I’m a woman and can date a man for years, because I’m just slow like that. Half the time I don’t even realize my emotions, I just know I like spending time with a person.

I think as long as you two are enjoying yourselves, spending quality time together, having adventures together, things are going in the right direction.

He thanks you for your patience and love.

This says a lot.

Sometimes titles don’t mean much. It’s just been a year, which is usually a good time to see where you stand with a person, but it’s up to you on if you want to continue to get closer to him or stop what you two are doing.

It’s hard to hold a Sag’s attention and you have it, as well as good times with him. It seems like it’s going somewhere, in my opinion.

Do you two tell each other “I love you”?

We live in the same city now, but apart.

I asked him what was his love language once, and it was “quality time together”. So I also assumed as he’s taking me on hikes / holidays / sport activities, it means something. And we truly enjoy that time together. At least so it seems.

No, he doesn’t say “I love u”, me neither. I am ready to but I don’t want to have my heart broken. He only tells me that he likes me, complements me on being smart and sexy. He can be moody as hell though, and get mad at me over stupid things. It never affects his friends, he never shows this dark side of his to them, but he revealed it to me.

Status doesn’t matter but I feel like we’re friends with benefits, and fear it may get stuck at this very point. I want more certainty, to understand where we stand. If there’s any potential (I’m not asking to marry me right away, just to be bf/gf) and perspective or I’m just wasting my time investing into someone who’ll never be ready for me.

Posted by saggurl88

When he says he needs emotions, is it that he needs you to show them?

From what I understand he’s lacking emotions himself. Cos I’ve been showing my feelings in so many ways and also was telling him that I feel for him (which also maybe the core of the problem as he now knows I’m his).

I just don’t understand how can you connect with someone Intellectually and sexually but still lack emotions.

Posted by colors

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by DMV

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by DMV

Posted by pisceanloves

Posted by BrookeDavis

"He explained he was crazy about me and we truly have a connection / chemistry but he needs emotions.

That line stands out. He's missing emotions, unless you provide them somehow I wouldn't think of getting too far with this..

Agreed

Take him at his word.

For me being an Aquarius emotions come from time and experiences together. It’s something you both create.

I have a feeling he confuses emotions with passion or something else. Something grand and blinding that will not matter in a few months.

He’s not confused.

You’re the one confused.

Sagittarius treat friends like lovers and lovers like friends. It’s all a good time.

Read the other sag posts. Same story

This man told you his boundaries and got his way 100%

His needs are being met

Are yours?

No, my needs are not met. That’s why I’m trying to figure out what I can do about it. Either move on (though it’s hard) or there’s some tactic I can use to turn this situation around?

You don’t come across people who you connect on such a deep level with that often, so I don’t want to lose this connection. But I’m not interested in being friends

But if he is not feeling emotions then what is the point of staying? You don't need to stop contact but can back away a bit. What if he moves on to someone he feels emotional connection with and then doesn't have time for you? He does not know what he feels for you since you are already there for him without him investing emotionally.

click to expand

I guess the problem is that I don’t understand what he means by not having emotions.

We spend time together, chat for hours, hold hands/cuddle, feel insanely attracted to each other. What else is needed to develop emotions? And if none of that is an indication of emotions, then I’m really confused or dumb.

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by saggurl88

When he says he needs emotions, is it that he needs you to show them?

From what I understand he’s lacking emotions himself. Cos I’ve been showing my feelings in so many ways and also was telling him that I feel for him (which also maybe the core of the problem as he now knows I’m his).

I just don’t understand how can you connect with someone Intellectually and sexually but still lack emotions.

click to expand

I went through the same thing with many men, sag included. I used to wonder what I was doing wrong

I kept being open and vulnerable, thinking if I just stick with it this man will eventually get on the same page.

It never happened and I wasted years of proving myself to men who actually hadn’t proven themselves to me. I never noticed because I was too busy showing my self worth and value to them

Men are wired differently.

I drew back all my energy to see if I would even get an inch of what I gave.

Never happened

I was another name not worth serious investment

Posted by LadyNeptune

Am I reading this correctly? You moved to his area to be closer to him and are stuck in the friend zone 🤕

Yup! As pathetic as it is!

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by colors

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by DMV

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by DMV

Posted by pisceanloves

Posted by BrookeDavis

"He explained he was crazy about me and we truly have a connection / chemistry but he needs emotions.

That line stands out. He's missing emotions, unless you provide them somehow I wouldn't think of getting too far with this..

Agreed

Take him at his word.

For me being an Aquarius emotions come from time and experiences together. It’s something you both create.

I have a feeling he confuses emotions with passion or something else. Something grand and blinding that will not matter in a few months.

He’s not confused.

You’re the one confused.

Sagittarius treat friends like lovers and lovers like friends. It’s all a good time.

Read the other sag posts. Same story

This man told you his boundaries and got his way 100%

His needs are being met

Are yours?

No, my needs are not met. That’s why I’m trying to figure out what I can do about it. Either move on (though it’s hard) or there’s some tactic I can use to turn this situation around?

You don’t come across people who you connect on such a deep level with that often, so I don’t want to lose this connection. But I’m not interested in being friends

But if he is not feeling emotions then what is the point of staying? You don't need to stop contact but can back away a bit. What if he moves on to someone he feels emotional connection with and then doesn't have time for you? He does not know what he feels for you since you are already there for him without him investing emotionally.

I guess the problem is that I don’t understand what he means by not having emotions.

We spend time together, chat for hours, hold hands/cuddle, feel insanely attracted to each other. What else is needed to develop emotions? And if none of that is an indication of emotions, then I’m really confused or dumb.

click to expand

Loving emotions. He’s blocked from real intimacy

Sexual intimacy is EASY to feel. Just need an emotion to raise the penis

Im telling you that some people can make you feel super special but nothing to back it up

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by LadyNeptune

Am I reading this correctly? You moved to his area to be closer to him and are stuck in the friend zone 🤕

Yup! As pathetic as it is!

click to expand

I moved to be with a Leo and even tho we were in a relationship I never felt more alone and abandoned. I was pretty much a housekeeper and punching bag

Posted by DMV

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by colors

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by DMV

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by DMV

Posted by pisceanloves

Posted by BrookeDavis

"He explained he was crazy about me and we truly have a connection / chemistry but he needs emotions.

That line stands out. He's missing emotions, unless you provide them somehow I wouldn't think of getting too far with this..

Agreed

Take him at his word.

For me being an Aquarius emotions come from time and experiences together. It’s something you both create.

I have a feeling he confuses emotions with passion or something else. Something grand and blinding that will not matter in a few months.

He’s not confused.

You’re the one confused.

Sagittarius treat friends like lovers and lovers like friends. It’s all a good time.

Read the other sag posts. Same story

This man told you his boundaries and got his way 100%

His needs are being met

Are yours?

No, my needs are not met. That’s why I’m trying to figure out what I can do about it. Either move on (though it’s hard) or there’s some tactic I can use to turn this situation around?

You don’t come across people who you connect on such a deep level with that often, so I don’t want to lose this connection. But I’m not interested in being friends

But if he is not feeling emotions then what is the point of staying? You don't need to stop contact but can back away a bit. What if he moves on to someone he feels emotional connection with and then doesn't have time for you? He does not know what he feels for you since you are already there for him without him investing emotionally.

I guess the problem is that I don’t understand what he means by not having emotions.

We spend time together, chat for hours, hold hands/cuddle, feel insanely attracted to each other. What else is needed to develop emotions? And if none of that is an indication of emotions, then I’m really confused or dumb.

Loving emotions. He’s blocked from real intimacy

Sexual intimacy is EASY to feel. Just need an emotion to raise the penis

Im telling you that some people can make you feel super special but nothing to back it up

click to expand

My life sucks 😢(

I guess I’m wired differently. For me love comes after I develop intellectual and sexual connection with someone. It’s built upon this foundation and my relationships definitely don’t start with loving emotions. It starts with other code components and then love grows within this union.

Posted by DMV

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by LadyNeptune

Am I reading this correctly? You moved to his area to be closer to him and are stuck in the friend zone 🤕

Yup! As pathetic as it is!

I moved to be with a Leo and even tho we were in a relationship I never felt more alone and abandoned. I was pretty much a housekeeper and punching bag

click to expand

Sorry to hear that! Men are good at creating illusions

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by LadyNeptune

Am I reading this correctly? You moved to his area to be closer to him and are stuck in the friend zone 🤕

Yup! As pathetic as it is!

click to expand

Ooof gurl. But why?

Tell me you had a job opportunity or something else also motivating the move?

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by saggurl88

Do you guys still live a long distance from each other?

When he says he needs emotions, is it that he needs you to show them?

I think a Sag needs consistency, communication, and attention. You seem to be showing and giving that.

I’m a woman and can date a man for years, because I’m just slow like that. Half the time I don’t even realize my emotions, I just know I like spending time with a person.

I think as long as you two are enjoying yourselves, spending quality time together, having adventures together, things are going in the right direction.

He thanks you for your patience and love.

This says a lot.

Sometimes titles don’t mean much. It’s just been a year, which is usually a good time to see where you stand with a person, but it’s up to you on if you want to continue to get closer to him or stop what you two are doing.

It’s hard to hold a Sag’s attention and you have it, as well as good times with him. It seems like it’s going somewhere, in my opinion.

Do you two tell each other “I love you”?

We live in the same city now, but apart.

I asked him what was his love language once, and it was “quality time together”. So I also assumed as he’s taking me on hikes / holidays / sport activities, it means something. And we truly enjoy that time together. At least so it seems.

No, he doesn’t say “I love u”, me neither. I am ready to but I don’t want to have my heart broken. He only tells me that he likes me, complements me on being smart and sexy. He can be moody as hell though, and get mad at me over stupid things. It never affects his friends, he never shows this dark side of his to them, but he revealed it to me.

Status doesn’t matter but I feel like we’re friends with benefits, and fear it may get stuck at this very point. I want more certainty, to understand where we stand. If there’s any potential (I’m not asking to marry me right away, just to be bf/gf) and perspective or I’m just wasting my time investing into someone who’ll never be ready for me.

click to expand

I don’t think you’re wasting your time with him.

My love language is quality time and touch.

If he’s showing you all sides to himself, that’s a good thing.

If you guys see each other a lot, it’s a good thing. He’s making time for you because he enjoys seeing you.

If you’re ready to say I love you, then you should.

The way to a mans heart is through a womans heart. Maybe that’s what he meant by saying he needs emotions.

It’s been a year, he spends time with you, so he must care for you. “I love you” would be the next step and then if it’s well received and you guys say it often, I think a relationship is bound to follow. You will practically be in one already. Then it would be ideal to bring up the subject after a couple of months of being open with the “I love you’s” .

But he might not say it first. Most Sag don’t, IMO. We are the worst sign of wait and see. Or move on.

I’m not sure why they say “if a man isn’t ready for a relationship then believe him.”

Yes sometimes it’s true, but if you ask most men, they will tell you, it was a women that practically forced them into one, by being open with their emotions and then wanting more.

You can go on forever like this and he won’t know where you stand or you can say something to him.

Sag are loyal when they love you and you’ve been in his life long enough for him to not want you to go anywhere.

I don’t think there is anything to worry about.

He’s probably just as confused as you are about if you care and how much. He hasn’t heard it on your side after a year either. You want a relationship but he can’t tell if you love him.

Friends are easier to be and a little bit of a cop out for both of you.

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by saggurl88

When he says he needs emotions, is it that he needs you to show them?

From what I understand he’s lacking emotions himself. Cos I’ve been showing my feelings in so many ways and also was telling him that I feel for him (which also maybe the core of the problem as he now knows I’m his).

I just don’t understand how can you connect with someone Intellectually and sexually but still lack emotions.

click to expand

I get it. He could just not understand them fully. I understand mine in hindsight, once the person leaves or after a long time. I fall in and out of love, with the same person, depending on my moods. But loyalty will prevail and I still don’t want to lose the person.

I have emotions but choose to keep them to myself when things are uncertain.

You say he knows you’re his, but in the previous post said you haven’t told him that you love him.

So you’re his what? Friend? FWB?

Sag can be overthinkers and not want to put themselves out there. We can be some cowards for real when it comes to emotions.

As you can see from the different Sag answering, it’s based on their charts and life experience in general. One told you she’s open with her emotions, I am not.

So you have to figure out for yourself how your man is. He will show his intentions clearly once you show yours. Either he will stay or leave or keep bullshitting.

And then you can make the choice that’s best for you.

Keep a boundary for how long you will accept the in between stage without a commitment.

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by saggurl88

Do you guys still live a long distance from each other?

When he says he needs emotions, is it that he needs you to show them?

I think a Sag needs consistency, communication, and attention. You seem to be showing and giving that.

I’m a woman and can date a man for years, because I’m just slow like that. Half the time I don’t even realize my emotions, I just know I like spending time with a person.

I think as long as you two are enjoying yourselves, spending quality time together, having adventures together, things are going in the right direction.

He thanks you for your patience and love.

This says a lot.

Sometimes titles don’t mean much. It’s just been a year, which is usually a good time to see where you stand with a person, but it’s up to you on if you want to continue to get closer to him or stop what you two are doing.

It’s hard to hold a Sag’s attention and you have it, as well as good times with him. It seems like it’s going somewhere, in my opinion.

Do you two tell each other “I love you”?

We live in the same city now, but apart.

I asked him what was his love language once, and it was “quality time together”. So I also assumed as he’s taking me on hikes / holidays / sport activities, it means something. And we truly enjoy that time together. At least so it seems.

No, he doesn’t say “I love u”, me neither. I am ready to but I don’t want to have my heart broken. He only tells me that he likes me, complements me on being smart and sexy. He can be moody as hell though, and get mad at me over stupid things. It never affects his friends, he never shows this dark side of his to them, but he revealed it to me.

Status doesn’t matter but I feel like we’re friends with benefits, and fear it may get stuck at this very point. I want more certainty, to understand where we stand. If there’s any potential (I’m not asking to marry me right away, just to be bf/gf) and perspective or I’m just wasting my time investing into someone who’ll never be ready for me.

I don’t think you’re wasting your time with him.

My love language is quality time and touch.

If he’s showing you all sides to himself, that’s a good thing.

If you guys see each other a lot, it’s a good thing. He’s making time for you because he enjoys seeing you.

If you’re ready to say I love you, then you should.

The way to a mans heart is through a womans heart. Maybe that’s what he meant by saying he needs emotions.

It’s been a year, he spends time with you, so he must care for you. “I love you” would be the next step and then if it’s well received and you guys say it often, I think a relationship is bound to follow. You will practically be in one already. Then it would be ideal to bring up the subject after a couple of months of being open with the “I love you’s” .

But he might not say it first. Most Sag don’t, IMO. We are the worst sign of wait and see. Or move on.

I’m not sure why they say “if a man isn’t ready for a relationship then believe him.”

Yes sometimes it’s true, but if you ask most men, they will tell you, it was a women that practically forced them into one, by being open with their emotions and then wanting more.

You can go on forever like this and he won’t know where you stand or you can say something to him.

Sag are loyal when they love you and you’ve been in his life long enough for him to not want you to go anywhere.

I don’t think there is anything to worry about.

He’s probably just as confused as you are about if you care and how much. He hasn’t heard it on your side after a year either. You want a relationship but he can’t tell if you love him.

Friends are easier to be and a little bit of a cop out for both of you.

click to expand

He tells me he deeply cares about me. But I actually showed him how much I care by being next to him through his Covid, through his surgery and some tough times (which occurred right when I arrived). I gathered his friends for his birthday, I arranged a surprise trip, I plan dates and cook him dinners, so he can see that he means a lot to me. I told him I had feelings for him. He said he knows and nothing followed. So I blame myself for being vulnerable and sincere, so now he knows how much I’m attached to him and can manipulate me and keep me as his plan B (if he has no serious intentions).

His actions and words are giving me mixed signals. He holds my hand but then calls me a friend, he cuddles me and kisses me but then can easily stay at home alone on his own without suggesting anything to do together. So sometimes it feels he’s totally cool being single and doesn’t really want to change anything.

Yeah, I witnessed a lot of Relationships where men were forced into them and they ended up being happy. I’m not sure why I can’t be that woman who make things happen the way she wants it, with whom she wants it.

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by saggurl88

When he says he needs emotions, is it that he needs you to show them?

From what I understand he’s lacking emotions himself. Cos I’ve been showing my feelings in so many ways and also was telling him that I feel for him (which also maybe the core of the problem as he now knows I’m his).

I just don’t understand how can you connect with someone Intellectually and sexually but still lack emotions.

I get it. He could just not understand them fully. I understand mine in hindsight, once the person leaves or after a long time. I fall in and out of love, with the same person, depending on my moods. But loyalty will prevail and I still don’t want to lose the person.

I have emotions but choose to keep them to myself when things are uncertain.

You say he knows you’re his, but in the previous post said you haven’t told him that you love him.

So you’re his what? Friend? FWB?

Sag can be overthinkers and not want to put themselves out there. We can be some cowards for real when it comes to emotions.

click to expand

He knows I got feelings for him. He knows I support him and stand by him. And he also knows I’m not seeing any other men. He also likes to mention that I’m his, which to me is his sexual game of dominance (like other men may desire me, but I’m with him even though we are not a couple). And btw he told me a couple times that we’re not a couple, which sucks to hear.

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by colors

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by DMV

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by DMV

Posted by pisceanloves

Posted by BrookeDavis

"He explained he was crazy about me and we truly have a connection / chemistry but he needs emotions.

That line stands out. He's missing emotions, unless you provide them somehow I wouldn't think of getting too far with this..

Agreed

Take him at his word.

For me being an Aquarius emotions come from time and experiences together. It’s something you both create.

I have a feeling he confuses emotions with passion or something else. Something grand and blinding that will not matter in a few months.

He’s not confused.

You’re the one confused.

Sagittarius treat friends like lovers and lovers like friends. It’s all a good time.

Read the other sag posts. Same story

This man told you his boundaries and got his way 100%

His needs are being met

Are yours?

No, my needs are not met. That’s why I’m trying to figure out what I can do about it. Either move on (though it’s hard) or there’s some tactic I can use to turn this situation around?

You don’t come across people who you connect on such a deep level with that often, so I don’t want to lose this connection. But I’m not interested in being friends

But if he is not feeling emotions then what is the point of staying? You don't need to stop contact but can back away a bit. What if he moves on to someone he feels emotional connection with and then doesn't have time for you? He does not know what he feels for you since you are already there for him without him investing emotionally.

I guess the problem is that I don’t understand what he means by not having emotions.

We spend time together, chat for hours, hold hands/cuddle, feel insanely attracted to each other. What else is needed to develop emotions? And if none of that is an indication of emotions, then I’m really confused or dumb.

click to expand

If he had emotions, he would want to make the relationship exclusive so he would not lose you to another man. He might still have emotions, seems to enjoy your company, is attracted to you, but does not have enough emotions to become exclusive with you. Maybe he is not seeing anyone at this point, but he has kept that door open by not committing to you. This may grow into something more with time, who knows, but are you ready to go with the flow and see where this goes? Are you willing to be exclusive with him even if he is not? I guess the important question is what do you want from him. If it is just hanging out with him and enjoying what you have, that needs to be your decision.

Posted by colors

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by colors

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by DMV

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by DMV

Posted by pisceanloves

Posted by BrookeDavis

"He explained he was crazy about me and we truly have a connection / chemistry but he needs emotions.

That line stands out. He's missing emotions, unless you provide them somehow I wouldn't think of getting too far with this..

Agreed

Take him at his word.

For me being an Aquarius emotions come from time and experiences together. It’s something you both create.

I have a feeling he confuses emotions with passion or something else. Something grand and blinding that will not matter in a few months.

He’s not confused.

You’re the one confused.

Sagittarius treat friends like lovers and lovers like friends. It’s all a good time.

Read the other sag posts. Same story

This man told you his boundaries and got his way 100%

His needs are being met

Are yours?

No, my needs are not met. That’s why I’m trying to figure out what I can do about it. Either move on (though it’s hard) or there’s some tactic I can use to turn this situation around?

You don’t come across people who you connect on such a deep level with that often, so I don’t want to lose this connection. But I’m not interested in being friends

But if he is not feeling emotions then what is the point of staying? You don't need to stop contact but can back away a bit. What if he moves on to someone he feels emotional connection with and then doesn't have time for you? He does not know what he feels for you since you are already there for him without him investing emotionally.

I guess the problem is that I don’t understand what he means by not having emotions.

We spend time together, chat for hours, hold hands/cuddle, feel insanely attracted to each other. What else is needed to develop emotions? And if none of that is an indication of emotions, then I’m really confused or dumb.

If he had emotions, he would want to make the relationship exclusive so he would not lose you to another man. He might still have emotions, seems to enjoy your company, is attracted to you, but does not have enough emotions to become exclusive with you. Maybe he is not seeing anyone at this point, but he has kept that door open by not committing to you. This may grow into something more with time, who knows, but are you ready to go with the flow and see where this goes? Are you willing to be exclusive with him even if he is not? I guess the important question is what do you want from him. If it is just hanging out with him and enjoying what you have, that needs to be your decision.

click to expand

You’re absolutely right. I can’t afford to wait and waste my time. He perfectly knows what I want and I guess I want more than he’s willing to give. It just sucks to let go of a man who seems to check all the boxes. And even harder to acknowledge the fact that I’m not wanted

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by colors

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by colors

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by DMV

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by DMV

Posted by pisceanloves

Posted by BrookeDavis

"He explained he was crazy about me and we truly have a connection / chemistry but he needs emotions.

That line stands out. He's missing emotions, unless you provide them somehow I wouldn't think of getting too far with this..

Agreed

Take him at his word.

For me being an Aquarius emotions come from time and experiences together. It’s something you both create.

I have a feeling he confuses emotions with passion or something else. Something grand and blinding that will not matter in a few months.

He’s not confused.

You’re the one confused.

Sagittarius treat friends like lovers and lovers like friends. It’s all a good time.

Read the other sag posts. Same story

This man told you his boundaries and got his way 100%

His needs are being met

Are yours?

No, my needs are not met. That’s why I’m trying to figure out what I can do about it. Either move on (though it’s hard) or there’s some tactic I can use to turn this situation around?

You don’t come across people who you connect on such a deep level with that often, so I don’t want to lose this connection. But I’m not interested in being friends

But if he is not feeling emotions then what is the point of staying? You don't need to stop contact but can back away a bit. What if he moves on to someone he feels emotional connection with and then doesn't have time for you? He does not know what he feels for you since you are already there for him without him investing emotionally.

I guess the problem is that I don’t understand what he means by not having emotions.

We spend time together, chat for hours, hold hands/cuddle, feel insanely attracted to each other. What else is needed to develop emotions? And if none of that is an indication of emotions, then I’m really confused or dumb.

If he had emotions, he would want to make the relationship exclusive so he would not lose you to another man. He might still have emotions, seems to enjoy your company, is attracted to you, but does not have enough emotions to become exclusive with you. Maybe he is not seeing anyone at this point, but he has kept that door open by not committing to you. This may grow into something more with time, who knows, but are you ready to go with the flow and see where this goes? Are you willing to be exclusive with him even if he is not? I guess the important question is what do you want from him. If it is just hanging out with him and enjoying what you have, that needs to be your decision.

You’re absolutely right. I can’t afford to wait and waste my time. He perfectly knows what I want and I guess I want more than he’s willing to give. It just sucks to let go of a man who seems to check all the boxes. And even harder to acknowledge the fact that I’m not wanted

click to expand

He does not check the emotionally available box. It is hard to accept, but with time you will get over him. You need some space from him. If you want you could say that to him. It will be easy to move on when your emotions for him are gone. Hard part will be creating a distance between you two. You could slowly do that by not initiating anything, letting him initiate. Not asking to hang etc. really how you feel makes sense to you. For me personally, I can go cold if the person in front does something that is hurtful to me, otherwise it can be tough if he is still nice. But even then if I sense he is not into me, I can try and take a step back and let him initiate if he wants. If he does not, over time I will get over him, especially if someone else who shows interest comes along 😄

Posted by colors

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by colors

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by colors

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by DMV

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by DMV

Posted by pisceanloves

Posted by BrookeDavis

"He explained he was crazy about me and we truly have a connection / chemistry but he needs emotions.

That line stands out. He's missing emotions, unless you provide them somehow I wouldn't think of getting too far with this..

Agreed

Take him at his word.

For me being an Aquarius emotions come from time and experiences together. It’s something you both create.

I have a feeling he confuses emotions with passion or something else. Something grand and blinding that will not matter in a few months.

He’s not confused.

You’re the one confused.

Sagittarius treat friends like lovers and lovers like friends. It’s all a good time.

Read the other sag posts. Same story

This man told you his boundaries and got his way 100%

His needs are being met

Are yours?

No, my needs are not met. That’s why I’m trying to figure out what I can do about it. Either move on (though it’s hard) or there’s some tactic I can use to turn this situation around?

You don’t come across people who you connect on such a deep level with that often, so I don’t want to lose this connection. But I’m not interested in being friends

But if he is not feeling emotions then what is the point of staying? You don't need to stop contact but can back away a bit. What if he moves on to someone he feels emotional connection with and then doesn't have time for you? He does not know what he feels for you since you are already there for him without him investing emotionally.

I guess the problem is that I don’t understand what he means by not having emotions.

We spend time together, chat for hours, hold hands/cuddle, feel insanely attracted to each other. What else is needed to develop emotions? And if none of that is an indication of emotions, then I’m really confused or dumb.

If he had emotions, he would want to make the relationship exclusive so he would not lose you to another man. He might still have emotions, seems to enjoy your company, is attracted to you, but does not have enough emotions to become exclusive with you. Maybe he is not seeing anyone at this point, but he has kept that door open by not committing to you. This may grow into something more with time, who knows, but are you ready to go with the flow and see where this goes? Are you willing to be exclusive with him even if he is not? I guess the important question is what do you want from him. If it is just hanging out with him and enjoying what you have, that needs to be your decision.

You’re absolutely right. I can’t afford to wait and waste my time. He perfectly knows what I want and I guess I want more than he’s willing to give. It just sucks to let go of a man who seems to check all the boxes. And even harder to acknowledge the fact that I’m not wanted

He does not check the emotionally available box. It is hard to accept, but with time you will get over him. You need some space from him. If you want you could say that to him. It will be easy to move on when your emotions for him are gone. Hard part will be creating a distance between you two. You could slowly do that by not initiating anything, letting him initiate. Not asking to hang etc. really how you feel makes sense to you. For me personally, I can go cold if the person in front does something that is hurtful to me, otherwise it can be tough if he is still nice. But even then if I sense he is not into me, I can try and take a step back and let him initiate if he wants. If he does not, over time I will get over him, especially if someone else who shows interest comes along 😄

click to expand

Makes perfect sense.

The distance brought us together, now the same distance has to take us apart.

As a general rule of thumb only invest your time, energy, body and emotions in a man who is matching or upping that investment.

The fact that you were always the one to travel to him set the tone for the situation-ship.

I have a feeling that he enjoyed that it was long distance because he didn’t have to commit to a full blown relationship. When you moved to his city you called his hand and forced him to define that he doesn’t want a relationship from you. So in a way it’s a blessing you don’t need to live in the grey wondering where he stands.

Posted by colors

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by colors

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by colors

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by DMV

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by DMV

Posted by pisceanloves

Posted by BrookeDavis

"He explained he was crazy about me and we truly have a connection / chemistry but he needs emotions.

That line stands out. He's missing emotions, unless you provide them somehow I wouldn't think of getting too far with this..

Agreed

Take him at his word.

For me being an Aquarius emotions come from time and experiences together. It’s something you both create.

I have a feeling he confuses emotions with passion or something else. Something grand and blinding that will not matter in a few months.

He’s not confused.

You’re the one confused.

Sagittarius treat friends like lovers and lovers like friends. It’s all a good time.

Read the other sag posts. Same story

This man told you his boundaries and got his way 100%

His needs are being met

Are yours?

No, my needs are not met. That’s why I’m trying to figure out what I can do about it. Either move on (though it’s hard) or there’s some tactic I can use to turn this situation around?

You don’t come across people who you connect on such a deep level with that often, so I don’t want to lose this connection. But I’m not interested in being friends

But if he is not feeling emotions then what is the point of staying? You don't need to stop contact but can back away a bit. What if he moves on to someone he feels emotional connection with and then doesn't have time for you? He does not know what he feels for you since you are already there for him without him investing emotionally.

I guess the problem is that I don’t understand what he means by not having emotions.

We spend time together, chat for hours, hold hands/cuddle, feel insanely attracted to each other. What else is needed to develop emotions? And if none of that is an indication of emotions, then I’m really confused or dumb.

If he had emotions, he would want to make the relationship exclusive so he would not lose you to another man. He might still have emotions, seems to enjoy your company, is attracted to you, but does not have enough emotions to become exclusive with you. Maybe he is not seeing anyone at this point, but he has kept that door open by not committing to you. This may grow into something more with time, who knows, but are you ready to go with the flow and see where this goes? Are you willing to be exclusive with him even if he is not? I guess the important question is what do you want from him. If it is just hanging out with him and enjoying what you have, that needs to be your decision.

You’re absolutely right. I can’t afford to wait and waste my time. He perfectly knows what I want and I guess I want more than he’s willing to give. It just sucks to let go of a man who seems to check all the boxes. And even harder to acknowledge the fact that I’m not wanted

He does not check the emotionally available box. It is hard to accept, but with time you will get over him. You need some space from him. If you want you could say that to him. It will be easy to move on when your emotions for him are gone. Hard part will be creating a distance between you two. You could slowly do that by not initiating anything, letting him initiate. Not asking to hang etc. really how you feel makes sense to you. For me personally, I can go cold if the person in front does something that is hurtful to me, otherwise it can be tough if he is still nice. But even then if I sense he is not into me, I can try and take a step back and let him initiate if he wants. If he does not, over time I will get over him, especially if someone else who shows interest comes along 😄

click to expand

We actually discussed it today. He admitted he might be emotionally unavailable. Cos he can’t think of any other explanation why he’s not ready to take it to the next level.

I now wonder if it will be different if a new woman comes his way or it is just with me

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by colors

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by colors

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by colors

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by DMV

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by DMV

Posted by pisceanloves

Posted by BrookeDavis

"He explained he was crazy about me and we truly have a connection / chemistry but he needs emotions.

That line stands out. He's missing emotions, unless you provide them somehow I wouldn't think of getting too far with this..

Agreed

Take him at his word.

For me being an Aquarius emotions come from time and experiences together. It’s something you both create.

I have a feeling he confuses emotions with passion or something else. Something grand and blinding that will not matter in a few months.

He’s not confused.

You’re the one confused.

Sagittarius treat friends like lovers and lovers like friends. It’s all a good time.

Read the other sag posts. Same story

This man told you his boundaries and got his way 100%

His needs are being met

Are yours?

No, my needs are not met. That’s why I’m trying to figure out what I can do about it. Either move on (though it’s hard) or there’s some tactic I can use to turn this situation around?

You don’t come across people who you connect on such a deep level with that often, so I don’t want to lose this connection. But I’m not interested in being friends

But if he is not feeling emotions then what is the point of staying? You don't need to stop contact but can back away a bit. What if he moves on to someone he feels emotional connection with and then doesn't have time for you? He does not know what he feels for you since you are already there for him without him investing emotionally.

I guess the problem is that I don’t understand what he means by not having emotions.

We spend time together, chat for hours, hold hands/cuddle, feel insanely attracted to each other. What else is needed to develop emotions? And if none of that is an indication of emotions, then I’m really confused or dumb.

If he had emotions, he would want to make the relationship exclusive so he would not lose you to another man. He might still have emotions, seems to enjoy your company, is attracted to you, but does not have enough emotions to become exclusive with you. Maybe he is not seeing anyone at this point, but he has kept that door open by not committing to you. This may grow into something more with time, who knows, but are you ready to go with the flow and see where this goes? Are you willing to be exclusive with him even if he is not? I guess the important question is what do you want from him. If it is just hanging out with him and enjoying what you have, that needs to be your decision.

You’re absolutely right. I can’t afford to wait and waste my time. He perfectly knows what I want and I guess I want more than he’s willing to give. It just sucks to let go of a man who seems to check all the boxes. And even harder to acknowledge the fact that I’m not wanted

He does not check the emotionally available box. It is hard to accept, but with time you will get over him. You need some space from him. If you want you could say that to him. It will be easy to move on when your emotions for him are gone. Hard part will be creating a distance between you two. You could slowly do that by not initiating anything, letting him initiate. Not asking to hang etc. really how you feel makes sense to you. For me personally, I can go cold if the person in front does something that is hurtful to me, otherwise it can be tough if he is still nice. But even then if I sense he is not into me, I can try and take a step back and let him initiate if he wants. If he does not, over time I will get over him, especially if someone else who shows interest comes along 😄

We actually discussed it today. He admitted he might be emotionally unavailable. Cos he can’t think of any other explanation why he’s not ready to take it to the next level.

I now wonder if it will be different if a new woman comes his way or it is just with me

click to expand

Sorry you have to go through this. I think since he already has you he just does not feel like he has to put in the work, or does not have a chance to miss you, grow his feelings for you. It is not your fault at all. But if he says he is not emotionally available, it is up to you if you want to keep seeing him. It may happen he may develop feelings for you if you are not available/around, or not around all the time. You need to know what your boundary is. If you keep giving him your time and company without any expectation from him, he will take it. A new woman might present a challenge and excite him, does not mean he will commit to her. But you need to make yourself less available or even backout completely if that is possible. At least maybe not initiate contact first, let him work to get your time. If it is hard for you to ignore him, maybe tell him you need space so you don't hurt yourself. But also be prepared if he backs away too. This can be very hard. But at least that will give him time to think and see if he wants more. If possible find things to keep yourself busy, that way you won't be making excuses but focusing on something else.

Posted by colors

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by colors

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by colors

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by colors

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by DMV

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by DMV

Posted by pisceanloves

Posted by BrookeDavis

"He explained he was crazy about me and we truly have a connection / chemistry but he needs emotions.

That line stands out. He's missing emotions, unless you provide them somehow I wouldn't think of getting too far with this..

Agreed

Take him at his word.

For me being an Aquarius emotions come from time and experiences together. It’s something you both create.

I have a feeling he confuses emotions with passion or something else. Something grand and blinding that will not matter in a few months.

He’s not confused.

You’re the one confused.

Sagittarius treat friends like lovers and lovers like friends. It’s all a good time.

Read the other sag posts. Same story

This man told you his boundaries and got his way 100%

His needs are being met

Are yours?

No, my needs are not met. That’s why I’m trying to figure out what I can do about it. Either move on (though it’s hard) or there’s some tactic I can use to turn this situation around?

You don’t come across people who you connect on such a deep level with that often, so I don’t want to lose this connection. But I’m not interested in being friends

But if he is not feeling emotions then what is the point of staying? You don't need to stop contact but can back away a bit. What if he moves on to someone he feels emotional connection with and then doesn't have time for you? He does not know what he feels for you since you are already there for him without him investing emotionally.

I guess the problem is that I don’t understand what he means by not having emotions.

We spend time together, chat for hours, hold hands/cuddle, feel insanely attracted to each other. What else is needed to develop emotions? And if none of that is an indication of emotions, then I’m really confused or dumb.

If he had emotions, he would want to make the relationship exclusive so he would not lose you to another man. He might still have emotions, seems to enjoy your company, is attracted to you, but does not have enough emotions to become exclusive with you. Maybe he is not seeing anyone at this point, but he has kept that door open by not committing to you. This may grow into something more with time, who knows, but are you ready to go with the flow and see where this goes? Are you willing to be exclusive with him even if he is not? I guess the important question is what do you want from him. If it is just hanging out with him and enjoying what you have, that needs to be your decision.

You’re absolutely right. I can’t afford to wait and waste my time. He perfectly knows what I want and I guess I want more than he’s willing to give. It just sucks to let go of a man who seems to check all the boxes. And even harder to acknowledge the fact that I’m not wanted

He does not check the emotionally available box. It is hard to accept, but with time you will get over him. You need some space from him. If you want you could say that to him. It will be easy to move on when your emotions for him are gone. Hard part will be creating a distance between you two. You could slowly do that by not initiating anything, letting him initiate. Not asking to hang etc. really how you feel makes sense to you. For me personally, I can go cold if the person in front does something that is hurtful to me, otherwise it can be tough if he is still nice. But even then if I sense he is not into me, I can try and take a step back and let him initiate if he wants. If he does not, over time I will get over him, especially if someone else who shows interest comes along 😄

We actually discussed it today. He admitted he might be emotionally unavailable. Cos he can’t think of any other explanation why he’s not ready to take it to the next level.

I now wonder if it will be different if a new woman comes his way or it is just with me

Sorry you have to go through this. I think since he already has you he just does not feel like he has to put in the work, or does not have a chance to miss you, grow his feelings for you. It is not your fault at all. But if he says he is not emotionally available, it is up to you if you want to keep seeing him. It may happen he may develop feelings for you if you are not available/around, or not around all the time. You need to know what your boundary is. If you keep giving him your time and company without any expectation from him, he will take it. A new woman might present a challenge and excite him, does not mean he will commit to her. But you need to make yourself less available or even backout completely if that is possible. At least maybe not initiate contact first, let him work to get your time. If it is hard for you to ignore him, maybe tell him you need space so you don't hurt yourself. But also be prepared if he backs away too. This can be very hard. But at least that will give him time to think and see if he wants more. If possible find things to keep yourself busy, that way you won't be making excuses but focusing on something else.

click to expand

Great advice, thank you for all your support!

I was so eager to begin our life together since most of our relationship was happening long-distance (and I thought since we stood the test of time and distance, it would be something real) and I thought it was enough of distance and time to realize how we feel about each other.

He told me today that he made the right decision by choosing me back when it all started and that I exceeded his expectations. And that he can’t ask me to wait for him or give me any reassurance that things will move into the direction I want. In his words the time we spend together brings us closer, he truly enjoys our moments and I add value to his life and make it more interesting. But he can’t know for sure or guarantee that at some point we’ll become a couple.

It sucks to know, especially after all his stories that he dated so many girls before me, and was in 2 long-term relationships (about 6 years each) and I’m the only one who couldn’t even become his girlfriend.

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by colors

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by colors

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by colors

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by colors

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by DMV

Posted by BrookeDavis

Posted by DMV

Posted by pisceanloves

Posted by BrookeDavis

"He explained he was crazy about me and we truly have a connection / chemistry but he needs emotions.

That line stands out. He's missing emotions, unless you provide them somehow I wouldn't think of getting too far with this..

Agreed

Take him at his word.

For me being an Aquarius emotions come from time and experiences together. It’s something you both create.

I have a feeling he confuses emotions with passion or something else. Something grand and blinding that will not matter in a few months.

He’s not confused.

You’re the one confused.

Sagittarius treat friends like lovers and lovers like friends. It’s all a good time.

Read the other sag posts. Same story

This man told you his boundaries and got his way 100%

His needs are being met

Are yours?

No, my needs are not met. That’s why I’m trying to figure out what I can do about it. Either move on (though it’s hard) or there’s some tactic I can use to turn this situation around?

You don’t come across people who you connect on such a deep level with that often, so I don’t want to lose this connection. But I’m not interested in being friends

But if he is not feeling emotions then what is the point of staying? You don't need to stop contact but can back away a bit. What if he moves on to someone he feels emotional connection with and then doesn't have time for you? He does not know what he feels for you since you are already there for him without him investing emotionally.

I guess the problem is that I don’t understand what he means by not having emotions.

We spend time together, chat for hours, hold hands/cuddle, feel insanely attracted to each other. What else is needed to develop emotions? And if none of that is an indication of emotions, then I’m really confused or dumb.

If he had emotions, he would want to make the relationship exclusive so he would not lose you to another man. He might still have emotions, seems to enjoy your company, is attracted to you, but does not have enough emotions to become exclusive with you. Maybe he is not seeing anyone at this point, but he has kept that door open by not committing to you. This may grow into something more with time, who knows, but are you ready to go with the flow and see where this goes? Are you willing to be exclusive with him even if he is not? I guess the important question is what do you want from him. If it is just hanging out with him and enjoying what you have, that needs to be your decision.

You’re absolutely right. I can’t afford to wait and waste my time. He perfectly knows what I want and I guess I want more than he’s willing to give. It just sucks to let go of a man who seems to check all the boxes. And even harder to acknowledge the fact that I’m not wanted

He does not check the emotionally available box. It is hard to accept, but with time you will get over him. You need some space from him. If you want you could say that to him. It will be easy to move on when your emotions for him are gone. Hard part will be creating a distance between you two. You could slowly do that by not initiating anything, letting him initiate. Not asking to hang etc. really how you feel makes sense to you. For me personally, I can go cold if the person in front does something that is hurtful to me, otherwise it can be tough if he is still nice. But even then if I sense he is not into me, I can try and take a step back and let him initiate if he wants. If he does not, over time I will get over him, especially if someone else who shows interest comes along 😄

We actually discussed it today. He admitted he might be emotionally unavailable. Cos he can’t think of any other explanation why he’s not ready to take it to the next level.

I now wonder if it will be different if a new woman comes his way or it is just with me

Sorry you have to go through this. I think since he already has you he just does not feel like he has to put in the work, or does not have a chance to miss you, grow his feelings for you. It is not your fault at all. But if he says he is not emotionally available, it is up to you if you want to keep seeing him. It may happen he may develop feelings for you if you are not available/around, or not around all the time. You need to know what your boundary is. If you keep giving him your time and company without any expectation from him, he will take it. A new woman might present a challenge and excite him, does not mean he will commit to her. But you need to make yourself less available or even backout completely if that is possible. At least maybe not initiate contact first, let him work to get your time. If it is hard for you to ignore him, maybe tell him you need space so you don't hurt yourself. But also be prepared if he backs away too. This can be very hard. But at least that will give him time to think and see if he wants more. If possible find things to keep yourself busy, that way you won't be making excuses but focusing on something else.

Great advice, thank you for all your support!

I was so eager to begin our life together since most of our relationship was happening long-distance (and I thought since we stood the test of time and distance, it would be something real) and I thought it was enough of distance and time to realize how we feel about each other.

He told me today that he made the right decision by choosing me back when it all started and that I exceeded his expectations. And that he can’t ask me to wait for him or give me any reassurance that things will move into the direction I want. In his words the time we spend together brings us closer, he truly enjoys our moments and I add value to his life and make it more interesting. But he can’t know for sure or guarantee that at some point we’ll become a couple.

It sucks to know, especially after all his stories that he dated so many girls before me, and was in 2 long-term relationships (about 6 years each) and I’m the only one who couldn’t even become his girlfriend.

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Don't give him anymore validation or reaction. Act like things are cool if you must see him, like you don't want anything, like he is just a friend/acquaintance, but also create distance. He needs to feel like he can't keep getting from you without giving. Your emotions are valuable and he needs to earn your commitment. Give your emotions to someone who wants them and gives them to you in return.

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"He explained he was crazy about me and we truly have a connection / chemistry but he needs emotions.

That line stands out. He's missing emotions, unless you provide them somehow I wouldn't think of getting too far with this..

Agreed

Take him at his word.

For me being an Aquarius emotions come from time and experiences together. It’s something you both create.

I have a feeling he confuses emotions with passion or something else. Something grand and blinding that will not matter in a few months.

He’s not confused.

You’re the one confused.

Sagittarius treat friends like lovers and lovers like friends. It’s all a good time.

Read the other sag posts. Same story

This man told you his boundaries and got his way 100%

His needs are being met

Are yours?

No, my needs are not met. That’s why I’m trying to figure out what I can do about it. Either move on (though it’s hard) or there’s some tactic I can use to turn this situation around?

You don’t come across people who you connect on such a deep level with that often, so I don’t want to lose this connection. But I’m not interested in being friends

But if he is not feeling emotions then what is the point of staying? You don't need to stop contact but can back away a bit. What if he moves on to someone he feels emotional connection with and then doesn't have time for you? He does not know what he feels for you since you are already there for him without him investing emotionally.

I guess the problem is that I don’t understand what he means by not having emotions.

We spend time together, chat for hours, hold hands/cuddle, feel insanely attracted to each other. What else is needed to develop emotions? And if none of that is an indication of emotions, then I’m really confused or dumb.

If he had emotions, he would want to make the relationship exclusive so he would not lose you to another man. He might still have emotions, seems to enjoy your company, is attracted to you, but does not have enough emotions to become exclusive with you. Maybe he is not seeing anyone at this point, but he has kept that door open by not committing to you. This may grow into something more with time, who knows, but are you ready to go with the flow and see where this goes? Are you willing to be exclusive with him even if he is not? I guess the important question is what do you want from him. If it is just hanging out with him and enjoying what you have, that needs to be your decision.

You’re absolutely right. I can’t afford to wait and waste my time. He perfectly knows what I want and I guess I want more than he’s willing to give. It just sucks to let go of a man who seems to check all the boxes. And even harder to acknowledge the fact that I’m not wanted

He does not check the emotionally available box. It is hard to accept, but with time you will get over him. You need some space from him. If you want you could say that to him. It will be easy to move on when your emotions for him are gone. Hard part will be creating a distance between you two. You could slowly do that by not initiating anything, letting him initiate. Not asking to hang etc. really how you feel makes sense to you. For me personally, I can go cold if the person in front does something that is hurtful to me, otherwise it can be tough if he is still nice. But even then if I sense he is not into me, I can try and take a step back and let him initiate if he wants. If he does not, over time I will get over him, especially if someone else who shows interest comes along 😄

We actually discussed it today. He admitted he might be emotionally unavailable. Cos he can’t think of any other explanation why he’s not ready to take it to the next level.

I now wonder if it will be different if a new woman comes his way or it is just with me

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You know what might help move on, being angry of the situation, proving to yourself that you are not weak, you value respect more than his company. It will hurt to see him not being affected by it, but trust me over time when you have become used to the distance, it will get easier. He may keep coming back and seek your validation, but now the power is in your hands whether to give that to him. Do not become weak and give in. He will make an effort and commit if it is important to him.