Stryker77
@Stryker77
11 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 170 · Topics: 16
Sag male Sag female
Sorry just to add he is 25 no kids she is 36 with 3 kids, she said she will never have kids I guess he would want kids being the age he is at?? She told me it's casual but I see traits of when we got together
Posted by fnclassy
So much for a Virgo moving on once they make the cut.
I know, I just cant and I dont know why I cant because on the face of it I should
It won't last with the sag. At 25 he has noooo idea about what he wants apart from having a good time. Yes eventually he will want to settle down and have kids, but it won't be with your ex.
It appears that she is being selfish but maybe it's about her wanting some "me time" and this is her way of acting out.
She doesn't want to tell the kids because she is being a coward and avoiding the messiness that it will create. Don't let her have all her own way. If you have moved out you must tell her that either she tells the kids or you do; I don't know how old they are but either way there is a responsibility here otherwise they are going to assume you abandoned them.
It appears that she is being selfish but maybe it's about her wanting some "me time" and this is her way of acting out.
She doesn't want to tell the kids because she is being a coward and avoiding the messiness that it will create. Don't let her have all her own way. If you have moved out you must tell her that either she tells the kids or you do; I don't know how old they are but either way there is a responsibility here otherwise they are going to assume you abandoned them.
Posted by AriesGirl74
It won't last with the sag. At 25 he has noooo idea about what he wants apart from having a good time. Yes eventually he will want to settle down and have kids, but it won't be with your ex.
It appears that she is being selfish but maybe it's about her wanting some "me time" and this is her way of acting out.
She doesn't want to tell the kids because she is being a coward and avoiding the messiness that it will create. Don't let her have all her own way. If you have moved out you must tell her that either she tells the kids or you do; I don't know how old they are but either way there is a responsibility here otherwise they are going to assume you abandoned them.
HI Thanks, The kids situation is stressing me out, I dont want to take the responsibility of telling them without the sag's agreement or involvement, when I speak to her about it she loses the plot, I suggested a counselling or mediation session to help us with this but she blanked me.
I dont know why she is dealing with the kids situation like this because the older 2 who are 8 & 9 are already smelling a rat, they are asking where I am, when will they see me again etc, its really hard
They are both the parents. The responsibility shouldn't fall squarely on her shoulders. If I recall the separation is due to things that both parties did. If anything, both of them should sit down with the kids at the same time and explain the situation.
The x factor is how she truly feels and what may be going through her mind is freedom. She's been in this relationship, it didn't work so she's done the family thing and had three kids. Why go back when I could just live my life and have fun is probably what going through her mind...plus she's 36. That's a trend now. Older people are less inclined to get back into something serious after it failed. She may seek sonething serious down the line but this younger guy is just fun. She knows he doesn't want anything serious either. It will appear to have some elements of the OPs past relationship but honestly that's natural. Even in prostitution(not calling her that) there is always going to be personal bonding...thats unavoidable. But it doesn't mean they're serious or something will come of it. The OP is really upset at the intimacy being shared with someone else and he feels only he has that right...but they're separated and are not in a romantic relationship. Regardless of how we feel, we cant expect for others to put their lives on hold while making a decision. As long as the kids don't see it, he and her are free to see other people...as long as they're responsible to the kids, each other, and the people they date.
The x factor is how she truly feels and what may be going through her mind is freedom. She's been in this relationship, it didn't work so she's done the family thing and had three kids. Why go back when I could just live my life and have fun is probably what going through her mind...plus she's 36. That's a trend now. Older people are less inclined to get back into something serious after it failed. She may seek sonething serious down the line but this younger guy is just fun. She knows he doesn't want anything serious either. It will appear to have some elements of the OPs past relationship but honestly that's natural. Even in prostitution(not calling her that) there is always going to be personal bonding...thats unavoidable. But it doesn't mean they're serious or something will come of it. The OP is really upset at the intimacy being shared with someone else and he feels only he has that right...but they're separated and are not in a romantic relationship. Regardless of how we feel, we cant expect for others to put their lives on hold while making a decision. As long as the kids don't see it, he and her are free to see other people...as long as they're responsible to the kids, each other, and the people they date.
Posted by beautifulsoul74
They are both the parents. The responsibility shouldn't fall squarely on her shoulders. If I recall the separation is due to things that both parties did. If anything, both of them should sit down with the kids at the same time and explain the situation.
The x factor is how she truly feels and what may be going through her mind is freedom. She's been in this relationship, it didn't work so she's done the family thing and had three kids. Why go back when I could just live my life and have fun is probably what going through her mind...plus she's 36. That's a trend now. Older people are less inclined to get back into something serious after it failed. She may seek sonething serious down the line but this younger guy is just fun. She knows he doesn't want anything serious either. It will appear to have some elements of the OPs past relationship but honestly that's natural. Even in prostitution(not calling her that) there is always going to be personal bonding...thats unavoidable. But it doesn't mean they're serious or something will come of it. The OP is really upset at the intimacy being shared with someone else and he feels only he has that right...but they're separated and are not in a romantic relationship. Regardless of how we feel, we cant expect for others to put their lives on hold while making a decision. As long as the kids don't see it, he and her are free to see other people...as long as they're responsible to the kids, each other, and the people they date.
Thanks, your right, i'm going to raise the subject again with her when I see her next and yes its gut wrenching seeing her share intimacy with someone else, we will be close friends in the future I know, its just getting over her is my issue and we can both move on as parents.
Yeah, well of course they would do 😢
I've read a couple of your early posts on this subject and krysrenee7 has given some really good insight and advice. I have only taken a few snippets, but it appears that you have tried to address the money issues by "righting some wrongs" but I think she is taking advantage of this situation.
She seems to be "allowing" you access and contact with the kids, but it appears that she is using you as if you were still living there, putting them to bed, babysitting for them when she goes to the gym - she is using you and acting like a singleton - I hope she doesnt ask you to babysit when she goes on dates with that guy—??!
When you split with someone, life as a single parent - be it man or woman - is HARD, coz the lion-share of the responsibility of running around picking up kids and taking them here and there, bedtimes, bathtimes etc falls on that single parent as you cannot rely on the spouse anymore; not in the short term.
She is damn lucky to be even hitting the gym at a time SHE wants, and she knows that you are never going to say no because she could use it as emotional blackmail on you. As other people have said, she is manipulating you and the situation 😢
You HAVE to get a backbone here and get some control back. She has been used to getting her own way on things; she knows how to confuse you and press your buttons (I mean giving you a big kiss on the lips after you have split and she is seeing this guy plus her flirty texts— COME ONNNNN DUDE!!!!) but you have to stay strong. I understand that you love her, but has this not gone on too long for you?? Don't you find her behaviour towards you deeply unattractive? She does not respect you - I'm sorry to say that - and this shows in her behaviour.
You have to be clear to her with specific instructions so there is no hidden message: If she wants to try again then you must have counselling to talk through your issues. If she refuses then seek legal help to start divorce proceedings (if you are married) and/or get support in drafting up a formal access agreement for the children. This sends a clear message that its one way or another but otherwise you will both be in this no-mans land and neither of you will be able to move on.
I've read a couple of your early posts on this subject and krysrenee7 has given some really good insight and advice. I have only taken a few snippets, but it appears that you have tried to address the money issues by "righting some wrongs" but I think she is taking advantage of this situation.
She seems to be "allowing" you access and contact with the kids, but it appears that she is using you as if you were still living there, putting them to bed, babysitting for them when she goes to the gym - she is using you and acting like a singleton - I hope she doesnt ask you to babysit when she goes on dates with that guy—??!
When you split with someone, life as a single parent - be it man or woman - is HARD, coz the lion-share of the responsibility of running around picking up kids and taking them here and there, bedtimes, bathtimes etc falls on that single parent as you cannot rely on the spouse anymore; not in the short term.
She is damn lucky to be even hitting the gym at a time SHE wants, and she knows that you are never going to say no because she could use it as emotional blackmail on you. As other people have said, she is manipulating you and the situation 😢
You HAVE to get a backbone here and get some control back. She has been used to getting her own way on things; she knows how to confuse you and press your buttons (I mean giving you a big kiss on the lips after you have split and she is seeing this guy plus her flirty texts— COME ONNNNN DUDE!!!!) but you have to stay strong. I understand that you love her, but has this not gone on too long for you?? Don't you find her behaviour towards you deeply unattractive? She does not respect you - I'm sorry to say that - and this shows in her behaviour.
You have to be clear to her with specific instructions so there is no hidden message: If she wants to try again then you must have counselling to talk through your issues. If she refuses then seek legal help to start divorce proceedings (if you are married) and/or get support in drafting up a formal access agreement for the children. This sends a clear message that its one way or another but otherwise you will both be in this no-mans land and neither of you will be able to move on.
Posted by AriesGirl74
Yeah, well of course they would do 😢
I've read a couple of your early posts on this subject and krysrenee7 has given some really good insight and advice. I have only taken a few snippets, but it appears that you have tried to address the money issues by "righting some wrongs" but I think she is taking advantage of this situation.
She seems to be "allowing" you access and contact with the kids, but it appears that she is using you as if you were still living there, putting them to bed, babysitting for them when she goes to the gym - she is using you and acting like a singleton - I hope she doesnt ask you to babysit when she goes on dates with that guy—??!
When you split with someone, life as a single parent - be it man or woman - is HARD, coz the lion-share of the responsibility of running around picking up kids and taking them here and there, bedtimes, bathtimes etc falls on that single parent as you cannot rely on the spouse anymore; not in the short term.
She is damn lucky to be even hitting the gym at a time SHE wants, and she knows that you are never going to say no because she could use it as emotional blackmail on you. As other people have said, she is manipulating you and the situation 😢
You HAVE to get a backbone here and get some control back. She has been used to getting her own way on things; she knows how to confuse you and press your buttons (I mean giving you a big kiss on the lips after you have split and she is seeing this guy plus her flirty texts— COME ONNNNN DUDE!!!!) but you have to stay strong. I understand that you love her, but has this not gone on too long for you?? Don't you find her behaviour towards you deeply unattractive? She does not respect you - I'm sorry to say that - and this shows in her behaviour.
You have to be clear to her with specific instructions so there is no hidden message: If she wants to try again then you must have counselling to talk through your issues. If she refuses then seek legal help to start divorce proceedings (if you are married) and/or get support in drafting up a formal access agreement for the children. This sends a clear message that its one way or another but otherwise you will both be in this no-mans land and neither of you will be able to move on.
Ariesgirl74 I do normally find this behaviour deeply unattractive but she is riding on my guilt
Posted by AriesGirl74
Yeah, well of course they would do 😢
I've read a couple of your early posts on this subject and krysrenee7 has given some really good insight and advice. I have only taken a few snippets, but it appears that you have tried to address the money issues by "righting some wrongs" but I think she is taking advantage of this situation.
She seems to be "allowing" you access and contact with the kids, but it appears that she is using you as if you were still living there, putting them to bed, babysitting for them when she goes to the gym - she is using you and acting like a singleton - I hope she doesnt ask you to babysit when she goes on dates with that guy—??!
When you split with someone, life as a single parent - be it man or woman - is HARD, coz the lion-share of the responsibility of running around picking up kids and taking them here and there, bedtimes, bathtimes etc falls on that single parent as you cannot rely on the spouse anymore; not in the short term.
She is damn lucky to be even hitting the gym at a time SHE wants, and she knows that you are never going to say no because she could use it as emotional blackmail on you. As other people have said, she is manipulating you and the situation 😢
You HAVE to get a backbone here and get some control back. She has been used to getting her own way on things; she knows how to confuse you and press your buttons (I mean giving you a big kiss on the lips after you have split and she is seeing this guy plus her flirty texts— COME ONNNNN DUDE!!!!) but you have to stay strong. I understand that you love her, but has this not gone on too long for you?? Don't you find her behaviour towards you deeply unattractive? She does not respect you - I'm sorry to say that - and this shows in her behaviour.
You have to be clear to her with specific instructions so there is no hidden message: If she wants to try again then you must have counselling to talk through your issues. If she refuses then seek legal help to start divorce proceedings (if you are married) and/or get support in drafting up a formal access agreement for the children. This sends a clear message that its one way or another but otherwise you will both be in this no-mans land and neither of you will be able to move on.
Ariesgirl74 I do normally find this behaviour deeply unattractive but she is riding on my guilt
I wrote a huge message and its not appeared!!
Posted by Stryker77Posted by AriesGirl74
Yeah, well of course they would do 😢
I've read a couple of your early posts on this subject and krysrenee7 has given some really good insight and advice. I have only taken a few snippets, but it appears that you have tried to address the money issues by "righting some wrongs" but I think she is taking advantage of this situation.
She seems to be "allowing" you access and contact with the kids, but it appears that she is using you as if you were still living there, putting them to bed, babysitting for them when she goes to the gym - she is using you and acting like a singleton - I hope she doesnt ask you to babysit when she goes on dates with that guy—??!
When you split with someone, life as a single parent - be it man or woman - is HARD, coz the lion-share of the responsibility of running around picking up kids and taking them here and there, bedtimes, bathtimes etc falls on that single parent as you cannot rely on the spouse anymore; not in the short term.
She is damn lucky to be even hitting the gym at a time SHE wants, and she knows that you are never going to say no because she could use it as emotional blackmail on you. As other people have said, she is manipulating you and the situation 😢
You HAVE to get a backbone here and get some control back. She has been used to getting her own way on things; she knows how to confuse you and press your buttons (I mean giving you a big kiss on the lips after you have split and she is seeing this guy plus her flirty texts— COME ONNNNN DUDE!!!!) but you have to stay strong. I understand that you love her, but has this not gone on too long for you?? Don't you find her behaviour towards you deeply unattractive? She does not respect you - I'm sorry to say that - and this shows in her behaviour.
You have to be clear to her with specific instructions so there is no hidden message: If she wants to try again then you must have counselling to talk through your issues. If she refuses then seek legal help to start divorce proceedings (if you are married) and/or get support in drafting up a formal access agreement for the children. This sends a clear message that its one way or another but otherwise you will both be in this no-mans land and neither of you will be able to move on.
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She doesnt seem to go out dating this guy but she has him over the house so the kids are usually sent to their father and my boy comes to me or they go to her mothers, basically she used to tell me that there is no way they can stay out on a school night yet they have stayed out 3 times in the last week because she had her guy visiting.
I go there in the morning and evening but over the last week because of this new gym I have joined I told her I couldnt come over some nights, since I said this I am now being told that i'm never there!! this is when the convo about set times starting, its like she is not having her way so she is making it hard for me?! its harder for her gym time now, her mother has started complaining to me about the amount of times she is running around for the kids.
She asked me who I train with at the gym and I said it was a female friend of mine from years back and she honestly is a mate but she is super fit and sporty as is the sag, this got her back up and she started taking the piss and had a bit of a sting in her tail about it, reminded me of her possessive side when we were together.
I will take your advice and speak to her
I go there in the morning and evening but over the last week because of this new gym I have joined I told her I couldnt come over some nights, since I said this I am now being told that i'm never there!! this is when the convo about set times starting, its like she is not having her way so she is making it hard for me?! its harder for her gym time now, her mother has started complaining to me about the amount of times she is running around for the kids.
She asked me who I train with at the gym and I said it was a female friend of mine from years back and she honestly is a mate but she is super fit and sporty as is the sag, this got her back up and she started taking the piss and had a bit of a sting in her tail about it, reminded me of her possessive side when we were together.
I will take your advice and speak to her
Yeah... She wants it ALL her way... Just stay calm and focussed. Realise and remember what games she is playing here. Lots of double standards coz at the moment nothing is good enough for her and she is acting high and mighty for no reason other than attention. Don't give her any! 😉
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