Sagittarian Insecurity

This topic was created in the Sagittarius forum by Cajunspirit on Thursday, January 9, 2014 and has 68 replies.
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Seems to be well hidden. Could just be the Saggies I have dealt with Moon in Scorpio and Moon in Taurus.
Couple this with the tendency to NOT communicate your feelings when disappointed or upset and let it build up til the supernova, makes things very interesting.
There is a confidence carried and an ease of passing over situations that generally concern you that leaves the man thinking all is well. However, it is at the point of the supernova that all is brought to light and the man I imagine would be oblivious.
Then there is the outright hypocrisy, of doing these same things that are "relationship testing" like going out with a guy your courting partner knows has a crush on you and making small of it. Yet, completely flipping out if your courting partner did the same. Seeing that Saggi women like to paint people in broad strokes, isolating any shady behaviour that they themselves engage in as unacceptable.
Am I to understand it is just simply the man's duty to reassure you, when you do not reassure him nor make it known your trust waivers?
For him to prod and prod and annoy you until you state what the problem is or is the Saggi Woman supernova argument event the preferred medium?
It seems treat others how you want to be treated is not a concept Saggi women follow.
Kindly, share your thoughts.
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Isn't there already a thread on this?...
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Aren't you married to a sag? You're a Virgo right?
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Maybe you should talk to them about their behavior.. Most of them appreciate honesty.. I'm sure if you brought it to their attention they wouldn't be such "hypocrites" anymore. They are friendly people and like to hangout with almost anyone who wants to. Including exes. I think you're reading too much into these girls' behavior.
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My ex is a Saggie (although male of course). Doesn't sound like he's much different from the female in your post though. Soooooo insecure, and he had a lot of Scorp in his chart, plus a Taurus moon. Nothing I said or did was enough to reassure him. And yes, it would take a lot of prodding to get him to tell me what was wrong & then the "supernova" as u've called it....u couldn't have picked a better term for that emotional display!
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Ironically, a thread such as this one is hypocritical coming from a Virgo. Are those the traits of some Sag women? Yes. But I have seen your sign, the males display the exact same traits. Did you ever stop to think while analyzing her that you were actually analyzing yourself? As in...she's mirroring you? What's equally amusing is your response to her behavior. "She did it so imma do it too." If you expect a certain pattern of behavior you should demonstrate it first instead of following. Sags are very observant. Most likely what has happened is that she observed you fraternizing with your exes in a subtlety romantic way and instead of taking your approach and criticizing to enforce hypocritical standards she kept silent and tolerated until she needed space to recharge. You on the other hand continually pointed out her flaws until she went supernova, which really isonly her finally telling you the truth about her seeing what you're pulling. You're ego gets bruised because you can't see the emotional aspect of your actions...what you did to her because in your mind you're actually afraid of commitment. Hence you still hanging with your exes but yet she can't.
I have several Virgo males as friends and this is their M.O. Smh _??
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Posted by AriesIntrovert16
Aren't you married to a sag? You're a Virgo right?


I am a virgo but I am not married, I am single.
Posted by AriesIntrovert16
Maybe you should talk to them about their behavior.. Most of them appreciate honesty.. I'm sure if you brought it to their attention they wouldn't be such "hypocrites" anymore. They are friendly people and like to hangout with almost anyone who wants to. Including exes. I think you're reading too much into these girls' behavior.
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I did, it was to no avail. I talked and talked, complained and complained, eschewed how it made me feel and still they did these things.
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Posted by RainDancer88
Hi CajunSpirit, I had to respond to this. I am literally the woman currently doing this in my relationship as we speak. Caught me red handed lol.
Best I can tell you is that if you're witnessing that behavior, it is due to the fact that she must be into you (a lot more than she is willing to put on Winking) I want to portray a certain air of myself when I'm attracted to my man. When I feel SECURE, I am funny, sweet, sexual and fun and it's because the man is making me feel good about myself. When I do not receive enough reassurance and feel INSECURE (like my heart could be threatened), I HAVE to verbally get it out! By that I mean.... could be I say, "hey, you know if you just want to be friends than you have to let me know" or "hey, you're giving mixed signals, and I felt neglected because of ... blah bah".
POINT BEING, if we feel like we are putting in some effort, we want it back ten fold until we feel deserving enough to love you back openly.
Not sure if this will help you, but eh. Got to be very specific when asking a sag a question Winking Chances are, we will answer bluntly.


In the beginning, she would try to break up with me every month. Always seemingly testing me and suggesting I should see other people. This was extremely tiring. I quickly noticed a great disparity between the amount of effort I was giving and the amount she gave.
She went out with a Libra man in July and left me to be with him by August. I confronted her directly and she lied about him. I caught her receiving a text from him " I want you more " and she lied and said it was the first time she ever got a text like that. After that was all downhill, she would argue every day that we were not compatible and that the relationship was going no where. She went out on a Friday and didn't tell me about it, which I hate, so that pissed me off. She then used that against me as an excuse to break up over IM. The next day I go to see her and as I pull up I notice the car she described he has pass by with her ducking her head down. I waited an hour seeing them circling several times for him to drop her off. I tried to ask him what was going on, but he would not lower his window. I confront her in her yard and she gives me the "What I do with my life is my business". The next day she denies he is the new boyfriend and that they simply went to the beach.
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I pointed out this is ludicrous and that obviously something is going on, she denies again.
Fast forward two months I take her and her cousin, visiting from abroad, out for ice cream. I drop them home and notice a man in a different car waiting on her. I find out the next day it is the same Libra, he is the boyfriend. He is wealthy and owns 2 cars.
I have never been lied to so much in my life.
Posted by Ulalume
This has nary a thing to do with insecrity lol.
Most Sags don't like broadcasting when they're
feeling not themselves or in a rough spot. Most
will go off and work shit out on their own. Why
"burden" someone else with their stuff? And this
is tenfold given the Moon placements of the Sags
you're speaking of.

Any guy that is gonna date a typical Sag needs to
set boundaries and draw your line in the sand from
jump. Other wise you'll get the taste of their double
standards. It sounds like you've dealt wirh Sags not
able to express themselves freely with you.


I broke many rules for her, compromised several times.
But she never saw the point in compromising, was very secretive and kept all her problems to herself.
This behaviour is not healthy for a relationship.
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Posted by beautifulsoul74
Ironically, a thread such as this one is hypocritical coming from a Virgo. Are those the traits of some Sag women? Yes. But I have seen your sign, the males display the exact same traits. Did you ever stop to think while analyzing her that you were actually analyzing yourself? As in...she's mirroring you? What's equally amusing is your response to her behavior. "She did it so imma do it too." If you expect a certain pattern of behavior you should demonstrate it first instead of following.


I did set the example. I was trusting, expressive, constantly communicating, always making an effort to solve problems, stating openly when something bothered me, did not see my exes nor go out with people who seemed to have crushes on me.
But she did, she set the stage. I would try to talk about it, but she would brush it off "Can we not talk about this now/at this location". She only discussed problems over IM which made it worse. No face to face contact. So after months of talking about it, me complaining, me saying how it made me feel, me pointing out the hypocrisy. I decided to do one of these things back to her and she could not handle it.
Sags are very observant. Most likely what has happened is that she observed you fraternizing with your exes in a subtlety romantic way and instead of taking your approach and criticizing to enforce hypocritical standards she kept silent and tolerated until she needed space to recharge.
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She has a habit of "fantasising" about what I "could" have done when I truthfully told her what I had been doing. I don't know if this is a Sagi thing, but it is one of the most masochistic self torture routines I have ever observed. It did'nt matter to her what I said, because she already had a preconceived notion of behaviour based on her "fantasies".
I caught her going out with a boy down the road who had a crush on her, I caught her sitting with her ex in the same chair at a coffee shop, I caught her playing pool with her other ex. I never saw any of mine for the length of the relationship, nor did I go out with any persons who seemed to have crushes on me.
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She always wanted to be the centre of my attention, for me to be the good boy while she does what ever the hell she wants. That seems to be the notion Sagittarius women have, a behaved man who will always welcome and support them, be happy to see them even when though they go out with other people at their whim. It's a one way street.
Do as I say, not as I do.
You on the other hand continually pointed out her flaws until she went supernova, which really isonly her finally telling you the truth about her seeing what you're pulling. You're ego gets bruised because you can't see the emotional aspect of your actions...what you did to her because in your mind you're actually afraid of commitment. Hence you still hanging with your exes but yet she can't.


I wish you were right, I wish I had such convicting guilt on my shoulder, but I do not.
Saggies can blow their mouths off whenever they feel like and say some harsh and cruel things, but criticise them and woah boy are you wrong.
I was always the one talking about marriage while she would freak out or skirt the issue.
I was always the one when she had her panic attacks to try and calm her, to find out how she felt while she just ran away. Run run run, run away from all your problems, the saggie solution.
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Posted by scorpgal76
My ex is a Saggie (although male of course). Doesn't sound like he's much different from the female in your post though. Soooooo insecure, and he had a lot of Scorp in his chart, plus a Taurus moon. Nothing I said or did was enough to reassure him. And yes, it would take a lot of prodding to get him to tell me what was wrong & then the "supernova" as u've called it....u couldn't have picked a better term for that emotional display!


I think RainDancer put it well. They want attention back 10 fold for what they give.
Which just isn't fair.
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Oh & the harem of female friends....I was supposed to be all accepting of that because of course nothing was going on there because he said so, yet I wasn't allowed to have any male friends without being accused of cheating. Total double standards.
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As a sag sun, scorp moon i dont feel like im insecure in alot of areas. there are some but few far n between.
Couple this with the tendency to NOT communicate your feelings when disappointed or upset and let it build up til the supernova, makes things very interestin
Fo Sho!
i dont and will not share my feelings if i dont think they will be perceived well. I also think that if your not a water moon, alot of what im going to say anyway will be lost on you anyway. water moons and water mercs understand intuitively whats going on inside me without me saying a thing.
secondly, if i shared an smig of my feelings on a prior occasion and it wasnt received or supported with the same degree i shared it, i am reluctant to share with you again. eventually i start to disrespect you because you dont respect me.
i feel you in that there are double standards in what i can do what you can do. other watery types understand the standards and put their foot down on what they will accept. after a while, there becomes an understanding between both parties and both parties loosen up.
reassurance comes from both sides. i dont think i ask too much of other parties. i hate to sound like a dead horse, but watery moons get it. long live the cancer moon!
what seems hard for you is effortless to them.
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In the beginning, she would try to break up with me every month. Always seemingly testing me and suggesting I should see other people. This was extremely tiring. I quickly noticed a great disparity between the amount of effort I was giving and the amount she gave
sounds like there was a breakdown in the beginning when she was first 100% invested. let me tell you, the minute im into you, im 100% into you. i may not fully show it, but Lord knows that i am. then as true colors start to show, my 100% dwindles down to disrespect. i.e. breaking up every month or couple of weeks. there is no consistency in either your emotions or actions (cough virgo) and how she is absorbing them.
once the respect starts dwindling, there will be little to no action on my side. alas, i live in the past. the past seems to repeat itself. if your past shows that you arent matching up. even more disrespect is around the corner.
as a scorp moon or taurus moon, she is the ultimate investigator of body language, voice levels, switchups, etc. something you did or didnt do spooked her early on. she probably wont talk about it. she will just watch to see if u do it again and if you do......u might as well just pack up and leave.
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It sounds like you've dealt wirh Sags not
able to express themselves freely with you.
my sag guy spoke of this. hes always telling me about dream killers. people who brush off what he has to say. people who dont get that hes different. it makes him feel closed off.
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But she did, she set the stage. I would try to talk about it, but she would brush it off "Can we not talk about this now/at this location". She only discussed problems over IM which made it worse. No face to face contact
i am impressed that youve picked up on this so much. im actually happy. i am the same way. i readily brush off things because i dont know how to respond. i either want to bitch you out on everything youve done since day 1. or i want to just cry my eyes out because I FEEL like my level of passion for you is not being met with the same degree.
im sensing a few squares in your synastry.
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She has a habit of "fantasising" about what I "could" have done when I truthfully told her what I had been doing. I don't know if this is a Sagi thing, but it is one of the most masochistic self torture routines I have ever observed. It did'nt matter to her what I said, because she already had a preconceived notion of behaviour based on her "fantasies".
im guilty as charged.

like i said, there was a breakdown MUCH earlier in the relationship. something she hasnt confessed or you havent.
i handt realized it comes off that way however. im sorry for that.
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She always wanted to be the centre of my attention, for me to be the good boy while she does what ever the hell she wants.
hmmm. were you once a bad boy?
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i would like to thank you for this thread. very insightful on my behavior.
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Posted by DMV

i dont and will not share my feelings if i dont think they will be perceived well. I also think that if your not a water moon, alot of what im going to say anyway will be lost on you anyway. water moons and water mercs understand intuitively whats going on inside me without me saying a thing.


Most men are not mind readers. You do realise this puts the majority of us at a distinct disadvantage that we are not even aware of.
secondly, if i shared an smig of my feelings on a prior occasion and it wasnt received or supported with the same degree i shared it, i am reluctant to share with you again. eventually i start to disrespect you because you dont respect me.


How do you equate that as disrespect?
I find that hilarious in the same way she called me judgmental. Yes I am critical but I always make my intentions, feelings and thoughts known and give people a chance to prove my critique wrong. She on the other hand would keep it ALL under locks, change how she behaved and only reveal what bothers her at a supernova event.
i feel you in that there are double standards in what i can do what you can do. other watery types understand the standards and put their foot down on what they will accept. after a while, there becomes an understanding between both parties and both parties loosen up.


I did put my foot down. But she still kept making the same aggrivating choices.
The most common of which was going out and not telling me about it. The breaking point was when I did this back to her. She spent the next week calling me every day to find out where I was. She then fantasised about me cheating until she lost all respect and began to entertain another man.
Funnily enough, I had pointed out to her how she now knows how I felt for the majority of the relationship. She would always complain I only call to find out where she was, I hope she understands why now.
reassurance comes from both sides. i dont think i ask too much of other parties. i hate to sound like a dead horse, but watery moons get it. long live the cancer moon!
what seems hard for you is effortless to them.
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I'm sorry but if you are a grown adult and choose not to communicate in a relationship, you hurt both parties involved. I find it utterly stupid.
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Posted by DMV

sounds like there was a breakdown in the beginning when she was first 100% invested. let me tell you, the minute im into you, im 100% into you. i may not fully show it, but Lord knows that i am. then as true colors start to show, my 100% dwindles down to disrespect. i.e. breaking up every month or couple of weeks. there is no consistency in either your emotions or actions (cough virgo) and how she is absorbing them.


Absorbing truly is the right word.
Saggis seem to reflect the mood of those around them, when they don't have their inner spark going.
Like the first Sag, she revealed she did not believe she could be herself around me after breaking up. She found me too serious. It is not to say she was her self and I would bog her down, to my knowledge, she just observed my behaviour and decided to not be herself.
Which.Makes.No.Facking.Sense.
once the respect starts dwindling, there will be little to no action on my side. alas, i live in the past. the past seems to repeat itself. if your past shows that you arent matching up. even more disrespect is around the corner.


She always wanted compliments, yet would never compliment me.
I always asked what she wanted to do, yet she would say "I don't know"
So we ended up doing what I wanted to do, and in the end, I am blamed for not listening to her and going into routine.
How maddening is that?
as a scorp moon or taurus moon, she is the ultimate investigator of body language, voice levels, switchups, etc. something you did or didnt do spooked her early on. she probably wont talk about it. she will just watch to see if u do it again and if you do......u might as well just pack up and leave.
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That's stupid. It sounds to me as though the insecurities are so well hidden and deep, that you can't possibly win as a man.
I caught her in so many compromising situations and forgave her, I made the mistake of bringing them up over again whenever she made the mistake again because talking doesn't seem to work. Yet I realise women just seem to want a man who will love, defend and fight for them even when the relationship is being tested or destroyed BY THEM.
It disgusts me.
How am I supposed to make a relationship successful with someone who expects a mind reader, is thoroughly skeptical of everything I do, pretends to be happy and brush
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brush off geniune problems and intentionally does and says things to hurt me?
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As a person with an Aries partner and a social circle comprised 80% of Aries and Sag..this thread is infuriating to me.
Will come back later and post like a bat out of hell.
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I have a leo moon and a sag sun so I will just yell in your face if I have a problem with you and address it the second I feel it.
As for the other stuff I usually mirror how people treat me.
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@Cajunspirit,
just reading the way you respond back kinda lets me know how the relationship went. She probably did say something to you very early on and you probably responded the way your responding here...
shit, i even feel discouraged giving you more feedback.
Like the first Sag, she revealed she did not believe she could be herself around me after breaking up. She found me too serious. It is not to say she was her self and I would bog her down, to my knowledge, she just observed my behaviour and decided to not be herself.
i do that as well. instead of just saying whats wrong because i dont know how it will be received, i just act accordingly. as i said earlier, very early on, this relationship was not going to turn out well. she didnt feel safe enough around you to express herself. your absolutely right, if you cant communicate effectively, then split up.
i dont think this is sag behavior. as a scorp moon, i dont do much talking. i EXPECT others to feel whats going on. if you ask me "whats wrong?" its the end for you and it marks the end of us.
when she exclaims that you arent listening and her fantasizing, alot goes on in our minds that we think are actually playing out in real life. to our dismay, there is a disconnect.
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i know she was a major bitch and drama queen but it wasnt always like this. something had to have happened for things to shift in her mind.
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I'm sorry you're relationship didn't work out Sad
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I'm sorry but if you are a grown adult and choose not to communicate in a relationship, you hurt both parties involved. I find it utterly stupid.
she is communicating. her style is much different than yours
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How am I supposed to make a relationship successful with someone who expects a mind reader, is thoroughly skeptical of everything I do, pretends to be happy and brush brush off geniune problems and intentionally does and says things to hurt me?
fair question. she has to learn how to communicate so you have a better understanding and vice versa.
she hurts you because she is hurt and feels that you are the cause of her hurt.
happy is facade.
she probably feels challenged by you every time you want to "talk" about things and she will go into defense mode instead of giving you an objective listening ear.
you have to find a way to communicate in a non threatening way. what is your moon sign?
but i will tell you, if your triggered a red flag that hurts like a knife to her, i wouldnt waste my time. she wont ever be nice to you. she will keep disrespecting you. she will keep toying with you. she will keep lying to you.
in her mind, as crazy as it may seem, you are the cause of her hurt way back when and this is all payback.
if u want her back, you will have to bare all! i do mean all.
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@CajunSpirit: my apologies...I jumped the gun and pretty much get what you're saying.
I will say this, the moment you sensed she was testing you is exactly when you should've cut her off and that moment came very early.
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I will say this, the moment you sensed she was testing you is exactly when you should've cut her off and that moment came very early.
yes! very early it came.
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Posted by Sag89
I have a leo moon and a sag sun so I will just yell in your face if I have a problem with you and address it the second I feel it.
As for the other stuff I usually mirror how people treat me.


Oh Sag89, I always knew you were the one for me, haha
Posted by beautifulsoul74
@CajunSpirit: my apologies...I jumped the gun and pretty much get what you're saying.
I will say this, the moment you sensed she was testing you is exactly when you should've cut her off and that moment came very early.
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S'all good homie
You have your own experiences and knowledge. In addition to which I am just a bizarre person.
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Posted by DMV

im guilty as charged.

like i said, there was a breakdown MUCH earlier in the relationship. something she hasnt confessed or you havent.
i handt realized it comes off that way however. im sorry for that.


She told me the problems she had after I bore all, with a letter.
I even knelt before her, and wished her the best. She later told me she thought I was going to propose.
It appears her mind is polluted by pop music (she loves GaGa) and romance novels and movies. She told me she wanted little reminders every day how special she is, she wants romance. Which to me is a far cry from reality and inherently prone to a deceitful statements that are not bound to realistic expectations.

hmmm. were you once a bad boy?
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I was upfront, as always, in the beginning, told her about the previous relationships I had and the one time I cheated ( a kiss ). Which I think she clung to.
Which brings me to the great dilemma and realisation I have had from this breakup. Women thrive on lies, they want to be lied to, so long as it meets their emotional needs.
I am always honest, and that has caused all the problems that lead to breakups. Something would happen and I would tell my girlfriend. She would then have a preconceived notion on what that event meant and become angry with me. Sometimes I knew it would upset them, sometimes I did not.
Which causes me to ask, if I know telling you (a) is the truth and will hurt you, should I still tell you?
Because it has not worked for me. I think women prefer to live in bubbles far gone from reality, where their emotional needs are met and lies abound.
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I was upfront, as always, in the beginning, told her about the previous relationships I had and the one time I cheated ( a kiss ). Which I think she clung to.
yeah me thinks she did.
im learning alot from this thread.
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Posted by DMV
i would like to thank you for this thread. very insightful on my behavior.


My pleasure.
Posted by DMV

just reading the way you respond back kinda lets me know how the relationship went. She probably did say something to you very early on and you probably responded the way your responding here...


I believe you remember my last posts, you know the kind of person I am.
If that did happen and it bothered her and she chose to say and do nothing about it, how am I to blame?
i do that as well. instead of just saying whats wrong because i dont know how it will be received, i just act accordingly. as i said earlier, very early on, this relationship was not going to turn out well. she didnt feel safe enough around you to express herself. your absolutely right, if you cant communicate effectively, then split up.


This was a key issue I had. Judging and acting without trying.
Never giving me a chance, always moving as though she was "one step ahead", when in reality she was just burying herself. This is like drinking poison.
i dont think this is sag behavior. as a scorp moon, i dont do much talking. i EXPECT others to feel whats going on. if you ask me "whats wrong?" its the end for you and it marks the end of us.


I can't even fathom how that works.
She had many mental blocks, which I pointed out to her. But it seems pride and stubborness prevent the Sagittarius from admitting to their own self destructive behaviour.
The only mental block she overcame was for the man she left me for. In the beginning she told me what she did'nt like in men, and he fit the bill perfectly for what she claimed she did'nt like.
You really can't take anything a Sag says seriously. Mighty hypocrisy.
when she exclaims that you arent listening and her fantasizing, alot goes on in our minds that we think are actually playing out in real life. to our dismay, there is a disconnect.
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Sounds like the battle of the relationship is fought and lost in your own minds. Expectations, judgments and fantasies that are all isolated and compounded upon by self imposed mental blocks.
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Sounds like the battle of the relationship is fought and lost in your own minds. Expectations, judgments and fantasies that are all isolated and compounded upon by self imposed mental blocks.
in a nutshell, yes.
This was a key issue I had. Judging and acting without trying.
Never giving me a chance, always moving as though she was "one step ahead", when in reality she was just burying herself. This is like drinking poison.

i totally agree. relationships are not a chess game. there are people with feelings.
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Posted by DMV

she is communicating. her style is much different than yours


This was a 2 year relationship. I harped and harped during year 1 about talking, about communication, about where my last ex Sag failed, I insisted on talking about the problems she had and reminded her I am a man and you need to tell a man verbally what problems you have. I set the example by being forthcoming, honest and direct in all my communication but it was all for naught and fell on deaf ears.
She revealed after we broke up, that it took the Libra man a month of convincing to get her to leave me. I saw the signs, I detected the emotional shift, I confronted directly, my moon is in Leo, but she denied denied denied.
I helped her with her new phone saw the text come from him " I want you more", she denied denied denied.
I catch him dropping her home after she broke up with me the very next day, she denied denied denied.
In stead of taking a month to just tell me what she wanted, that she didn't trust me, that there were problems to resolve and how she felt, she chose to pretend everything was fine and slowly frustrate me into an outburst to use as an excuse to break up.
How is this fair or justified?
Can you honestly tell me because I can't feel and have to ask, that her actions make sense?
That these actions reflect a responsible grown adult who told me she loved me for 2 years?
To me all I can not make sense of it. To me it was all a lie as she "did'nt feel comfortable around me". To me she was just taking me for a ride, and now that she has found a wealthy man, who takes her to dinner 5 times a week and out to see all the latest movies she is complete. He is the "better man".
I am a fool to have put my faith and trust in someone, who has deceived me over and over again. This is what love makes you do.
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@CajunSpirit: its cool_??_
As for your situation, its simple but finding it is difficult. You should look for an emotionally and generally mature woman but make sure you are that way first and I'm not saying you aren't. Realize that not everyone is going to be completely upfront and honest about everything especially their feelings. I kinda get where you're coming from. You'd expect a certain level of trust with deep feelings at a certain point especially when I love yous are exchanged. This may be old fashioned but tried and true and relieves you of any drama or issues...try the platonic friends first approach. Yeah it takes patience but keeps you out of the scenario you were just in.
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Ok, first of I cannot help but mentioning how this is the second time the same shit happened yet you never saw it coming.
This is the Virgo pride, coupled with the Virgo "Cry a wolf" attitude when a relationship fails, one where the Virgo should've never embarked on but chose to because we're gluttons for punishment.
I always said Virgo Men have a "Captain Save a Hoe" complex but reality keeps eluding them, as well as their partners. This is so textbook Virgo it's not even funny.
I will break it down for you, you can take anything with a grain of salt, maybe some of these things will knock you off your high horse.
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*mention
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Posted by Cajunspirit
Seems to be well hidden. Could just be the Saggies I have dealt with Moon in Scorpio and Moon in Taurus.
Couple this with the tendency to NOT communicate your feelings when disappointed or upset and let it build up til the supernova, makes things very interesting..


First, off the bat from the way you type and you describe interactions, you are not suited for a fire sign. I'd stay clear of them from now on.
A fire sign will not verbalize any negative emotion and there's some reasons for that:
1) They really have a "things will get better" attitude about it so they'll wait and see where things are going. It's obvious what their problems are, you can always rely on body language - they are EXTREMELY obvious about it.
They'll roll their eyes, avoid responding to topics and hope you'll get the hint.
2) They know WHO they are. Knowing this, and watching a relationship unfold naturally, they will understand if you are suited for them long before you will. They prize individuality, so they won't start getting into lectures with you, and hope you see where they come from without resorting to inquisition (which is how it feels like for most of them).
3) They understand you're an INDIVIDUAL and allow you to express yourself even if they are not on board with what you're talking about. By allowing you this, you (the partner) wrongly assume you're on the same page. If you were there will be no discussions about behaviors, about the relationship you're embarking on.
4) They understand everything in life is liable to change and if it's meant to be, you will spend your lives on this awesome path of growth..the fairytale dream is strongly embedded into their nature. If it's not meant to be, they will extricate themselves from the situation using whatever means they'll have. In their minds, and I completely agree with this, you should've left long ago if the situation wasn't good for you. If you chose to stay, you can't hold them responsible over your actions and thoughts.
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Posted by Cajunspirit
Then there is the outright hypocrisy, of doing these same things that are "relationship testing" like going out with a guy your courting partner knows has a crush on you and making small of it. Yet, completely flipping out if your courting partner did the same. Seeing that Saggi women like to paint people in broad strokes, isolating any shady behaviour that they themselves engage in as unacceptable


I spend time with people that have had a crush on me, and my boyfriend does the same. There is no insecurity in me in regards to this because if he chooses to step out, it is what it is. If he chooses to cheat, our relationship is cut short. At the same time you cannot bind a fire sign to his partner through strong boundaries. You have behavior for yourself and that's a good thing but they won't adhere to whatever behavior you deem as respectable to the relationship.
The only way they'll bind to you is through common experiences, nice moments. Give them a long rope and see what they do with it. I can bet my money they won't opt out of a relationship if you grant them this. Obviously I am not talking about cheating here.
Posted by Cajunspirit
It seems treat others how you want to be treated is not a concept Saggi women follow.


You're assuming everyone starts a relationship with a contract in their mind, of what is ok to do or what isn't. No one does that, because people are individuals and the path the relationship will take is not clear, it has a lot of turns and twists and if it doesn't get to forever after, they still cherish what they had along the way. This set of rules Earth signs think people follow blindlessly are void to a Fire Sign. They live to experiment, not to follow society's scripts.
Posted by Cajunspirit
I talked and talked, complained and complained, eschewed how it made me feel and still they did these things.

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In your Virgo mind, discussions help clear the air between partners and understand where each is coming from. In the Fire Sign mind, there is no need for any type of talk if people are in sync with each other on an emotional level. They'll let you talk away for hours, but it doesn't mean anything to them.
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Posted by Cajunspirit
Posted by Sag89
I have a leo moon and a sag sun so I will just yell in your face if I have a problem with you and address it the second I feel it.
As for the other stuff I usually mirror how people treat me.


Oh Sag89, I always knew you were the one for me, haha
Posted by beautifulsoul74
@CajunSpirit: my apologies...I jumped the gun and pretty much get what you're saying.
I will say this, the moment you sensed she was testing you is exactly when you should've cut her off and that moment came very early.


S'all good homie
You have your own experiences and knowledge. In addition to which I am just a bizarre person.
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I get you, just wanna to keep it real. I'd bet her moon blocks her from doing that.
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@ Damnata: spot on
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Caj you still on this girl I told you years ago sag women under 30 are only good for FWB AND that's it straight side peace real talk. Plus she disrespected you once you let that slide any women won't have respect for you. You should have drop her the first time she did that bs and cus her the fuck out.
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Posted by Cajunspirit
In the beginning, she would try to break up with me every month. Always seemingly testing me and suggesting I should see other people.


This was your hint to get the fuck out. It was obvious she wasn't interested in a long term relationship. If you decided to stay, she must've assumed you either like the drama or you see this a fwb, which is what I think she went for, going by her behavior.
Posted by Cajunspirit
I pointed out this is ludicrous and that obviously something is going on, she denies again.


Ofc something was going on. It is up to you to LEAVE when shit like this happens. What are you trying to accomplish with all the conversation? Set her on the right course? Convince someone that is not into you at that level to get into you and make it work?
That's like me going to the desert and praying for rain. It won't happen and I will die of thirst.
Posted by Cajunspirit
I have never been lied to so much in my life.


No one lied, you blinded yourself to the truth of the matter.
Posted by Cajunspirit
I broke many rules for her, compromised several times.


This is all on YOU.

Posted by Cajunspirit
This behaviour is not healthy for a relationship


She clearly didn't see this as a relationship the way you did.
Posted by Cajunspirit
She always wanted to be the centre of my attention, for me to be the good boy while she does what ever the hell she wants.


She wanted you to be yourself and if you stuck around for her poor behavior, it's not her fault. It was obvious she wasn't into you. You stroke her ego.
Posted by Cajunspirit
Saggies can blow their mouths off whenever they feel like and say some harsh and cruel things, but criticise them and woah boy are you wrong.
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Posted by Cajunspirit
Saggies can blow their mouths off whenever they feel like and say some harsh and cruel things, but criticise them and woah boy are you wrong.


This is a double standard with all fire signs. I've asked some Sag friends about this once and they told me they're really tolerant with limits but don't trust other people to be the same way.
Posted by Cajunspirit
I was always the one talking about marriage while she would freak out or skirt the issue.


This would freak anyone that acts like her. She wasn't interested in the fantasy you had for you two so ofc it freaked her out. "Damn, is this guy delusional? Can't he see we're just passing the time here?
Posted by Cajunspirit
Most men are not mind readers. You do realise this puts the majority of us at a distinct disadvantage that we are not even aware of.


No, it's just fire signs basing everything off genuine natural chemistry. If you don't have it, all the mind reading in the world will do you no good.

Posted by Cajunspirit
I find that hilarious in the same way she called me judgmental. Yes I am critical but I always make my intentions, feelings and thoughts known and give people a chance to prove my critique wrong..


You are extremely judgemental. If it's a bad thing or a good thing it's not for me to find out. People don't need a chance to prove you wrong, you need to prove yourself right on wrong, going by their actions. Con artists make a living by tricking people with this shit. The victims always believe there was a chance they'd be proven wrong so they participate in the mass delusion.
Posted by Cajunspirit
I did put my foot down.


Pur your foot down = Walk the fuck away and don't come back

Posted by Cajunspirit
I'm sorry but if you are a grown adult and choose not to communicate in a relationship, you hurt both parties involved. I find it utterly stupid.
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It was not a relationship in her mind. And she never hurt anyone, because only you can hurt yourself with this shit.
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Posted by beautifulsoul74
@ Damnata: spot on


Thank you kind Sir, I aim to please. Or at least guess Big Grin
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Posted by Cajunspirit
That's stupid. It sounds to me as though the insecurities are so well hidden and deep, that you can't possibly win as a man.


I don't see any insecurity on her part. She simply didn't give a fuck and entertained you for a while. Maybe she truly believed things might work out for you two as a casual relationship but I'm sure she caught on early on that you were writing scripts for her life and bolted. It's not how she wanted to experience things with you and your incessant questioning probably had her see you as weak, hence trying to shield you from the truth.
The truth = I am not seriously involved with you dude. Hope you catch on to that.

Posted by Cajunspirit
I caught her in so many compromising situations and forgave her, I made the mistake of bringing them up over again whenever she made the mistake again because talking doesn't seem to work. Yet I realise women just seem to want a man who will love, defend and fight for them even when the relationship is being tested or destroyed BY THEM.
It disgusts me.


First time you caught her, you should've walked. Not only do you not walk but keep bringing things again, as if she'd have a change of mind because you somehow try to guilt trip her. A person who doesn't give a fuck about you cannot be reasoned with. Women want a men who will love them and cater to the relationship IF THEY LOVE YOU TOO. If they don't, most will walk all over you.
Posted by Cajunspirit
It appears her mind is polluted by pop music (she loves GaGa) and romance novels and movies.


What are you, the catholic church?
Posted by Cajunspirit
I think women prefer to live in bubbles far gone from reality, where their emotional needs are met and lies abound.


This is mostly true.
Posted by Cajunspirit
That these actions reflect a responsible grown adult who told me she loved me for 2 years?
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Words are meaningless. I can tell you I love you all day long, does this make it true?
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