Think I've F'ed Things Up!!
This topic was created in the Sagittarius forum by copperhead on Thursday, July 2, 2009 and has 8 replies.
A new record, 1 month!!! I've posted this on the Taurus board, but I thought some Saggy input might help me too 
Here's the short version of the story: Last Friday he mentioned that a girl he knows likes him, I was a bit puzzled by why he told me. That Sunday I asked him why he said something and he apologised and said he should have finished off the story which was he used to work with her, he still goes on work do's and on the next one he wants to take me, and he knows his workmates will try and create some drama by mentioning this girl liking him to me, so he wanted me to be prepared. I accepted this and he said he was a little upset with himself for causing me any worry. So, I mentioned it casually to my friends and they were like, 'he slept with her, no doubt about it'. While this in itself doesn't upset me, the fact that on the Sunday he was chattering on about wanting to be honest with me, does.
So last night I asked him if he'd slept with her and he said yes. I tried to explain that I was upset that he had been all 'pro-honesty' but had neglected to tell me the crux of the story and why he couldn't have just said, 'I slept with this girl, she's still interested but I'm not, just wanted to give you a heads-up in case anything was said' in the first place. I was upset only by the fact that he didn't tell me the whole truth, when he was the one who brought it up in the first place. We had a long chat that was pretty fraught (no shouting though) and in the end he went quiet and I asked him where he wanted to go from here. He said we were too special to finish. And then we went to bed.
I texted him when I got to work, just reiterating that I hoped I hadn't f'ed things up by bringing it up (again)and that to me, it's over and forgotten about but he hasn't replied, which is unlike him. Basically, I would be grateful for any advice on how to handle this and maybe some insight into whether he'll be really upset or if this is his way of dumping me!
Lesson learned #563 - Don't get involved in conversations about partner's ex's (should have learnt that one a loooong time ago!)
Just in case it helps any:
Me - Taurus Sun/Gem Moon/Saggy Rising
Him - Saggy Sun/Aries Moon/Pisces Rising
Here's the short version of the story: Last Friday he mentioned that a girl he knows likes him, I was a bit puzzled by why he told me. That Sunday I asked him why he said something and he apologised and said he should have finished off the story which was he used to work with her, he still goes on work do's and on the next one he wants to take me, and he knows his workmates will try and create some drama by mentioning this girl liking him to me, so he wanted me to be prepared. I accepted this and he said he was a little upset with himself for causing me any worry. So, I mentioned it casually to my friends and they were like, 'he slept with her, no doubt about it'. While this in itself doesn't upset me, the fact that on the Sunday he was chattering on about wanting to be honest with me, does.
So last night I asked him if he'd slept with her and he said yes. I tried to explain that I was upset that he had been all 'pro-honesty' but had neglected to tell me the crux of the story and why he couldn't have just said, 'I slept with this girl, she's still interested but I'm not, just wanted to give you a heads-up in case anything was said' in the first place. I was upset only by the fact that he didn't tell me the whole truth, when he was the one who brought it up in the first place. We had a long chat that was pretty fraught (no shouting though) and in the end he went quiet and I asked him where he wanted to go from here. He said we were too special to finish. And then we went to bed.
I texted him when I got to work, just reiterating that I hoped I hadn't f'ed things up by bringing it up (again)and that to me, it's over and forgotten about but he hasn't replied, which is unlike him. Basically, I would be grateful for any advice on how to handle this and maybe some insight into whether he'll be really upset or if this is his way of dumping me!
Lesson learned #563 - Don't get involved in conversations about partner's ex's (should have learnt that one a loooong time ago!)
Just in case it helps any:
Me - Taurus Sun/Gem Moon/Saggy Rising
Him - Saggy Sun/Aries Moon/Pisces Rising
"I was upset only by the fact that he didn't tell me the whole truth" Yeah, sag men like to tell the half verison of their truth lol
Thanks for your comments
Archer - he instigated a talk about 2 weeks ago asking if I would mind him calling me his gf. I said yes, as we'd already said that we wouldn't see other people. This is not something he does a lot it seems, he hasn't had a gf in years, he says he's just had casual flings and the occasional girl he has liked a lot has not been interested in taking it further. This girl...he says it was years ago that they slept together and to be honest it's none of my business anyway, I don't need or want to know the details, as long as it's not been when he's with me. Which from his actions, I'm positive it hasn't.
What got me so prickled about the whole situation was his constant nagging about being honest and then he does the exact opposite. In my opinion, he should never have mentioned it, I wouldn't bring up about people that like me as it only upsets your partner and can bring on bouts of jealousy.
He definitely doesn't like confrontations, that was apparent when I was talking to him. He finally rang me last night and said that he was upset because he's put in so much effort (which he has) to show how much he likes me and that by me questioning him about this girl it made him feel unappreciated.
Archer - he instigated a talk about 2 weeks ago asking if I would mind him calling me his gf. I said yes, as we'd already said that we wouldn't see other people. This is not something he does a lot it seems, he hasn't had a gf in years, he says he's just had casual flings and the occasional girl he has liked a lot has not been interested in taking it further. This girl...he says it was years ago that they slept together and to be honest it's none of my business anyway, I don't need or want to know the details, as long as it's not been when he's with me. Which from his actions, I'm positive it hasn't.
What got me so prickled about the whole situation was his constant nagging about being honest and then he does the exact opposite. In my opinion, he should never have mentioned it, I wouldn't bring up about people that like me as it only upsets your partner and can bring on bouts of jealousy.
He definitely doesn't like confrontations, that was apparent when I was talking to him. He finally rang me last night and said that he was upset because he's put in so much effort (which he has) to show how much he likes me and that by me questioning him about this girl it made him feel unappreciated.
Ha ha!!! I will Archer! I've had my questions answered and there's no point holding on to it, doesn't do either of us any good
Posted by Sagittarius89
"I was upset only by the fact that he didn't tell me the whole truth" Yeah, sag men like to tell the half verison of their truth lol
Not true... I tell the whole Truth because for some reason I just can't make myself give a f**k. If it's to be it's to be, if it aint it aint. :-/
Posted by PublicEnemy#1Posted by Sagittarius89
"I was upset only by the fact that he didn't tell me the whole truth" Yeah, sag men like to tell the half verison of their truth lol
Not true... I tell the whole Truth because for some reason I just can't make myself give a f**k. If it's to be it's to be, if it aint it aint. :-/click to expand
But also if a person doesn't ask, there's a 50/50 chance that I will or will not volunteer to come out and tell. If it's something I doesn't think make a difference or "should" affect things then I keep it to myself until asked. If I think it would, I hate prolonging judgment so I rather just get it out of the way and sit back calmly as people go through their "chain of emotions".
Posted by PublicEnemy#1Posted by PublicEnemy#1Posted by Sagittarius89
"I was upset only by the fact that he didn't tell me the whole truth" Yeah, sag men like to tell the half verison of their truth lol
Not true... I tell the whole Truth because for some reason I just can't make myself give a f**k. If it's to be it's to be, if it aint it aint. :-/
But also if a person doesn't ask, there's a 50/50 chance that I will or will not volunteer to come out and tell. If it's something I doesn't think make a difference or "should" affect things then I keep it to myself until asked. If I think it would, I hate prolonging judgment so I rather just get it out of the way and sit back calmly as people go through their "chain of emotions".click to expand
...then it's back to the fun, if they want to dwell on the bullsh*t then I'll ditch them QUICK!
Oh okay
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