Well..it was fun while it lasted..

This topic was created in the Sagittarius forum by BoomShakalakaBoom on Friday, October 19, 2012 and has 61 replies.
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We're done. Looks like her Saginess overtook everything else in the end. She wanted her "freedom", Im not one to make dramatic scenes so I'll just take what she said for what it is and move on. Im glad it was only 5 weeks and not 5 years or 5 children involved lol. Funny how it all took place at a party.
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alcohol involved?
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Haha yeah how would you figure? Tongue
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Yeah well, I think she was tipsy, or slightly drunk but still she was very adamant in what she wanted so I guess there is no reason for me to doubt her words.
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Im fine kunoichi smile Im really glad youre around right now, like for real..
Let me give you the details, wait..
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Posted by HonneTatemae
She'll probably regret her actions. Sad
If she apologized to you in the near future, would you take her back?
BTW, what was the precipitating event?


You know, I had a real strange feeling from a few days ago, I think it was probably ESP but I sensed something was wrong but I couldnt quite put my finger on it. She basically told me that she didnt want where this "relationship" was heading for, because she was going to have to go back to the US anyway after some time so how I understood, she basically was afraid of things getting more serious..to the point she would have a really hard time the moment she had to leave for the US, I totally understand that though, from the very beginning the whole basis of this "relationship" was an inexplicable bond where we werent thinking of what were doing, we were just following our insitincts because it somehow felt right. Now that she has had more time to take logic a lot more into the equation, she started thinking and thinking and she said she felt the best thing for her right now was to be single (she was pretty adamant in that it wasnt to date other guys, she said she didnt give a fuck about that..) because she felt she had to work on herself, learn to rely on herself again.
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I guess just textbook Sag needs..to be "free"
One thing she was also adamant about was that she didnt find me to be clingy AT ALL, in fact she appreciated how I gave her her space, she just...didnt want to see anyone right now in a serious way I guess :S
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Well if you think we have no filter sober....when drunk we REALLY have no filter.
I think you already understand that these are feelings she probably had from the beginning but got caught up in how she felt about you.
Obviously it will be easier on both of you if you don't get too attached.
You both already knew that, like you said...she just has a little extra honesty with herself and you while drunk.
She'll probably regret this tommorrow.
but that doesn't change the fact that she really does feel this way, and she's right to feel that way.
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lots of hugs and kisses btw! smile
you have the best attitude
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Posted by brianafay
Well if you think we have no filter sober....when drunk we REALLY have no filter.
I think you already understand that these are feelings she probably had from the beginning but got caught up in how she felt about you.
Obviously it will be easier on both of you if you don't get too attached.
You both already knew that, like you said...she just has a little extra honesty with herself and you while drunk.
She'll probably regret this tommorrow.
but that doesn't change the fact that she really does feel this way, and she's right to feel that way.



Yeah, I mean..I know shes going to be be feeling about it all the same way tomorrow, Im not hoping for anything, it was pretty straightforward, though I did tell her she should have told me some things before rather than waiting till everything piled up and she had a big explosion, she's someone who has a hard time saying no to people (moon in Pisces I think?) but it was not like I was lecturing her, I was just saying what I had perceived in her.
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Posted by brianafay
lots of hugs and kisses btw! smile
you have the best attitude



Thank you Bri, I really reallly appreciate your feedback and your positive energy smile I'll be fine..
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Posted by HonneTatemae
Hmmmm....my gut instinct is telling me that she speaks the truth.
It's hard to be falling for someone when you know there could be a definite ending in sight. And even if you tell yourself that love can conquer all, the fact remains that there will be a physical gap of 1000s of miles between you guys. I mean, it COULD be done, but let's be honest- it would be difficult. Did you guys discuss LDR at all?
If you don't mind me asking, what went down in the minutes leading up to this event? Were you guys fighting about something else? OMG, did this just happen tonight? Sad
When does she return to the US?


Yeah, the way I read her body language and how convincing she sounded, it didnt take long for me to figure out she was being totally serious about it.
The thing that I kept hammering on during the conversation was that it was truly a shame that in this way she was allowing fear to rule her life, because lets be honest here..shes just fearful of "what could happen in some time" "the if if" instead of enjoying what she has right now at this moment in time (this was what defined our bond) but I guess I understand that, the way we had grown into each other the last few weeks, it was probably headed for something more and more serious.
YOu know..the whole thing happened at a party tonight, so Im so glad I had so much support from my female friends who were also there, like soooo glad.
Also a Gemini friend gave me a totally different perspective of things (than the ones my female friends had given me..) it really made me think for a moment..
I'll tell you what he told me..
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Posted by bubblyaquarius
I'm actually just starting up with a Sag right now...hmmm. They are sooo eager and pushy at the start, aren't they?!


They are, the horse part dominates the early stages..the human part does take over later on though Winking exactly what happened in my case.
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Whilst all of my female friends were like "oh, dont worry, you'll be fine..girls are everywhere and you can get another one pretty easily" the Gemini guy was like "you know..Im going to tell you something that I often tell people and it works for them but somehow I cant apply on my own life" "Forget about what everybody else told you and what Sag told you, if you really want her, you should just persist because thats what women expect and secretly want from you" "fuck what others say"
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Posted by HonneTatemae
It sounds like she went into self-sabotage mode in order to protect her heart/feelings.
I'm ashamed to say it, but I've done the exact same thing.
Sad
I blame the Pisces moon. It makes us super sappy/ sentimental/ nostalgic when it comes to love.


You may be right, the thing is that, you have no idea how much she had opened up to me about her life, her family, her fucked up mother and sisters who are pretty much drug/alcohol addicts (except her cool aries dad) and she was always telling me how she normally didnt tell these things to other people, but felt safe telling them to me. We really grew a lot into each other the last 2 or 3 weeks.
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Posted by capgirl75
Whaaat?!!
Sorry Boomboom! Hugs.


Thanks capgirl smile I really appreciate your words, you too Satori!! smile
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Posted by HonneTatemae
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
Whilst all of my female friends were like "oh, dont worry, you'll be fine..girls are everywhere and you can get another one pretty easily" the Gemini guy was like "you know..Im going to tell you something that I often tell people and it works for them but somehow I cant apply on my own life" "Forget about what everybody else told you and what Sag told you, if you really want her, you should just persist because thats what women expect and secretly want from you" "fuck what others say"


As much as I hate to say it, your Gemini friend may be onto something...
Winking
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Hahaha I had feeling you would agree with that, though I kinda feel you're also saying it to make me feel better which I dont blame you for at all Winking
But really, the Gemini stunned me right there, like he touched my soul directly when he said that.
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Posted by HonneTatemae
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
Posted by HonneTatemae
It sounds like she went into self-sabotage mode in order to protect her heart/feelings.
I'm ashamed to say it, but I've done the exact same thing.
Sad
I blame the Pisces moon. It makes us super sappy/ sentimental/ nostalgic when it comes to love.


You may be right, the thing is that, you have no idea how much she had opened up to me about her life, her family, her fucked up mother and sisters who are pretty much drug/alcohol addicts (except her cool aries dad) and she was always telling me how she normally didnt tell these things to other people, but felt safe telling them to me. We really grew a lot into each other the last 2 or 3 weeks.


Well, she obviously trusted you a lot to disclose that kind of stuff. I just can't help but feel there must have been something that triggered this event tonight. The alcohol definitely factors in, but something must have set her off.
Did it just come out of nowhere, or were you fighting about something else?
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Oh, I forgot to mention that yeah..
It was basically what I also posted yesterday on the other thread, I texted her asking if she wanted to come over for dinner I had cooked, she normally answers messages within half an hour, so 2 hours passed and she didnt answer so I got a bit worried and called her twice...no answer so as we live pretty close to each other I just decided to check if she was ok, she was just getting stoned with friends and hadnt checked her phone, totally understandable! and I left right after I knew she was ok and stuff, but tonight she did tell me she felt like she didnt want that responsibility of having to explain herself, etc etc. I wasnt being controlling at all, I was just concerned about her as a friend, a human, not as boyfriend/girlfriend. I guess that was the thing that made her feel limited in her freedom (?) for some reason, even though she was insistent in saying I wasnt clingy and I always gave her enough space :S so thats whats still confusing me.
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Posted by HonneTatemae
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
Posted by HonneTatemae
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
Whilst all of my female friends were like "oh, dont worry, you'll be fine..girls are everywhere and you can get another one pretty easily" the Gemini guy was like "you know..Im going to tell you something that I often tell people and it works for them but somehow I cant apply on my own life" "Forget about what everybody else told you and what Sag told you, if you really want her, you should just persist because thats what women expect and secretly want from you" "fuck what others say"


As much as I hate to say it, your Gemini friend may be onto something...
Winking



Hahaha I had feeling you would agree with that, though I kinda feel you're also saying it to make me feel better which I dont blame you for at all Winking
But really, the Gemini stunned me right there, like he touched my soul directly when he said that.


Shaka, I can HONESTLY say that I'm not pandering to you. I meant what I said.
Pisces mooners are romantic, idealistic dreamers, and the idea of fairytale endings out of rom-coms appeals to us, even though we usually wouldn't admit it and often hate ourselves for it. Big Grin
Maybe give her a bit of time to cool down and process what happened, and then maybe reach out to her?
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Yeah I can totally see her being that way too, as I know her. I just dont want to live in false hope, I dont want that to prevent me from moving on and turning the page..and going on to better things, whats also tricky is that we have a lot of common friends (basically her housemate) and they told me I could still go to the house and hang out with them any time I wanted, that was really cool of them and Im sure I will do that too, even if I run into Sag in the process.
A part of me still feels like I should keep fighting for it though..I have to wait and see if its not short-lived feeling but actually something I truly want, I have to give it some time before I proceed with whatever I want to do next.
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Posted by bubblyaquarius
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
Posted by HonneTatemae
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
Posted by HonneTatemae
It sounds like she went into self-sabotage mode in order to protect her heart/feelings.
I'm ashamed to say it, but I've done the exact same thing.
Sad
I blame the Pisces moon. It makes us super sappy/ sentimental/ nostalgic when it comes to love.


You may be right, the thing is that, you have no idea how much she had opened up to me about her life, her family, her fucked up mother and sisters who are pretty much drug/alcohol addicts (except her cool aries dad) and she was always telling me how she normally didnt tell these things to other people, but felt safe telling them to me. We really grew a lot into each other the last 2 or 3 weeks.


Well, she obviously trusted you a lot to disclose that kind of stuff. I just can't help but feel there must have been something that triggered this event tonight. The alcohol definitely factors in, but something must have set her off.
Did it just come out of nowhere, or were you fighting about something else?


Oh, I forgot to mention that yeah..
It was basically what I also posted yesterday on the other thread, I texted her asking if she wanted to come over for dinner I had cooked, she normally answers messages within half an hour, so 2 hours passed and she didnt answer so I got a bit worried and called her twice...no answer so as we live pretty close to each other I just decided to check if she was ok, she was just getting stoned with friends and hadnt checked her phone, totally understandable! and I left right after I knew she was ok and stuff, but tonight she did tell me she felt like she didnt want that responsibility of having to explain herself, etc etc. I wasnt being controlling at all, I was just concerned about her as a friend, a human, not as boyfriend/girlfriend. I guess that was the thing that made her feel limited in her freedom (?) for some reason, even though she was insistent in saying I wasnt clingy and I always gave her enough space :S so thats whats still confusing me.
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"She's going to change her mind.
If she's smart. The drinking is prob imparing her judgement"
I guess I dont wanna live in false hope, even though I can not outright say you are wrong! I guess at this moment anything is possible though I have no reason to think she would, and Im not even sure I would take her back if she asked me to. Shes pretty smart even when drunk btw lol
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Posted by HonneTatemae
Shaka, I think you hit the nail on the head. Wait a few days (or longer, if you need), process your thoughts and feelings, and then make a decision and/or take action.
BTW, when does she return to the US?


Yeah, youre totally right smile Im feeling pretty peaceful right now actually, the anxiety I had in me (which I couldnt explain) from a few days ago is gone, I guess in a way its liberating.
Shes going back in January of 2013 but I think coming back later on for her Masters..
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Yeah thank you so much ninja girl, you have a special place in my e-heart smile I'll keep you updated and take care of yourself!
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Big hugs to you too! smile
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Posted by bubblyaquarius
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
"She's going to change her mind.
If she's smart. The drinking is prob imparing her judgement"
I guess I dont wanna live in false hope, even though I can not outright say you are wrong! I guess at this moment anything is possible though I have no reason to think she would, and Im not even sure I would take her back if she asked me to. Shes pretty smart even when drunk btw lol




You wouldn't take her back if she asked you to? Hmm...maybe this was meant to be then, and you should move on. I would hate to hear my man say that. o.0
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No, I just dont know right now if I would take her back, my feeling says yeah sure..but my head says.."you dont desrve this crap, youve been too good to her to deserve any of this"
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You know, Im talking to another good friend of mine about it (a guy) and I told him what the Gemini guy said to me and I told him I didnt know why it had made such an impact on me in comparison to what my female friends said..
My friend said: "IT IMPACTED YOU BECASUE YOU FUCKING KNOW ITS TRUE"
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Posted by bubblyaquarius
That's very true. My sag hasn't been flaky thus far but we shall see. Is there anybody else? Any other girls you like a lot? I mean no need to rush though either way. I just hope you figure things out.


Well, theres a few girls here and there that I find quite attractive and would probably go after (most probably lol) but its nothing really compelling.
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Posted by Theultra79
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
You know, Im talking to another good friend of mine about it (a guy) and I told him what the Gemini guy said to me and I told him I didnt know why it had made such an impact on me in comparison to what my female friends said..
My friend said: "IT IMPACTED YOU BECASUE YOU FUCKING KNOW ITS TRUE"


It is true. If you still want her after a week or two, go back and see what happens. It'll give her time to miss your presence.
What's the worst that could happen?
I don't know any girl who doesn't like when a guy tries to get her back. Even if I'm not interested, it makes me feel like he really cared about me and our relationship. maybe it sounds silly, but the Gemini kinda knew what he was talking about on that one.
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It may sound silly to say this, but this is like a complete revelation for me, Im always the type to be too prideful to persist in this way, I usually call it "keeping my dignity" and just moving on without looking back, Im open to a new approach this time around though, like you said..whats the worst thing that could happen?
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Posted by MzSag
See Shaks...
No Saggi is gonna love you like this Saggi will.
You need my Capness.



















You need it.









Too soon?
Sorry.
Ah well... Wanna know my motto?
"MMMAAAAANNNNN FTB!"
(FUCK THAT BITCH!)
The bitch can be swapped with asshole, douchebag, cuntbag, piece of shit... You get the point. Tongue


Hahahaha you have given me the best laugh so far, and trust me I can really use it right now smile so Im thankful for that. I dont hold any resentment towards her for some reason, I respect people I cared about too much for me to even consider that.
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Posted by brianafay
lots of hugs and kisses btw! smile
you have the best attitude



definite +1 on the attitude. Refreshing.
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Im here my goddesses smile..kinda falling asleep but getting all kinds of images in my head.
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I feel compelled to stay awake for some reason, Im enjoying this total silence Im in right now, like..its the perfect moment to hear what my soul has to say..without the normal noises of daytime.
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LOL night pretty aqua Winking
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Posted by MzSag
Posted by bubblyaquarius
Posted by MzSag
Posted by bubblyaquarius
My sag wants to "drink me". =p MzSag, do you like fellatio as much as mine does? Is this a sag thing? He talks about it alll the tiiime!


...
Hahahahaha


...MzSag what kinda laugh is that?! Anyway, I sware sometimes I think this sag is just tryna get booty. -_-


Are you hijacking Shaka's thread, dearest Aqua?!
To answer your question, I have Venus and Mars in Capricorn... earth signs like pleasures of the body...
Saggis are a bunch of horndogs.

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mmm earth sex
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i dont think you 2 are done. she's a venus in scorpio right? dont know too much about them but as a venus sq pluto, i can say things like that to save myself from potential harm i.e heartbreak.
you must have made quite an impression
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Posted by DMV
i dont think you 2 are done. she's a venus in scorpio right? dont know too much about them but as a venus sq pluto, i can say things like that to save myself from potential harm i.e heartbreak.
you must have made quite an impression


She kept repeating how she "had been there" already a few times in the past with other guys and she didnt want this to happen again right now, so I do agree that it is mostly just her trying to protect her heart. I dont know if there is a way to bypass something like that, as a guy. Like I said before Im usually pretty black/white when it comes to breakups, I usually just disappear and keep my dignity. Even though I could have reasons to be confused right now, Im not, though I still wanna give this a few weeks before I decide what the next step is.
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Posted by DMV

you must have made quite an impression



Im pretty sure thats what got her scared, when we were in Italy she said she hadnt counted on anything like this to happen (meaning meeting someone like me and dating) because she was at a point in her life where she was enjoying her freedom. She was coming out of another long term relationship I think only a few months ago. In a way we were at exactly the same emotional stage, both enjoying single life, partying a lot, drinking a lot, etc then we met and it seems that changed everything for both..
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Before I met her I wasnt even looking for anything serious with anyone, and I think that was also the case with her..
Funny how when you're not looking for something it just finds a way to find you lol
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I think she just sent me a facebook message, I'm kinda hurting right now a lot so I don't wanna read it. Luckily I have some awesome friends I'm going to be partying with tonight, seems like a good way.for me to deal with all of this
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sometimes i as a vsp, lunar scorp, and venus in cap, i want someone to sweat me just to validate my feelings you know. so i will pull back in hopes that the other person will fight to break down my walls and wont let me walk away.
i dont want a sucka, but i need someone who i can in effect, bitch out and walk away from and have them grovel to get me back. but once i know your love is true, you wont have to go through that anymore and i will work overtime to love you better than anyone.
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Posted by HonneTatemae
Hey, Shaka!
How are things? smile
Any updates?



Hey smile Im ok I guess, been out partying tonight again, but obviously I'm still trying to get used to the new reality, alternating between.cultivating toughness and shedding a few tears. Like I mentioned earlier, sag sent me a facebook message tonight, haven't really read it, but I did see its a pretty long ass message so I"ll just take the time to read it carefully when I get back home. I will keep you updated!
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Posted by HonneTatemae
Hey! Sorry about the delay- I was eating/showering. smile
Well, I hope the message has good news! Keep me updated, ok?
I'm pretty beat from a long day at work, but I'll be around tomorrow....
smile



I just PMed you!
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Posted by Ellybean
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
Before I met her I wasnt even looking for anything serious with anyone, and I think that was also the case with her..
Funny how when you're not looking for something it just finds a way to find you lol


I noticed this just from dxp posts. It read like some deep soul-reaching experience in love.
She may be a sag, but the Pisces moon paired with a Scorpio Venus? There's a damn good chance she will float around for a while since this experience was as far reaching for her as it was for you most likely. Unless she has really strong personal boundaries I imagine its be hard for her to finally cut the cord. Example: long fb message. I can't tell you how many long letters and fb messages I wrote to exes, a lot of time when I was at war between fear and heart and logic and I was moreso trying to convince myself of a point and projecting it into the ex. That's what an undone Scorpio Venus can do. (I also have cancer moon though, so my motivation emotionally might have a slight variation from a dreamy and flowy Pisces moon prone to tide shifts)
She has a VERY ethereal chart especially next to yours as well. It's no question of the impact you two will have on each other, fingers crossed it has a peaceful ending though, whether together or not. Strong bonds like this run the danger of going from smooth sailing to tsunami in seconds before either can see because its easy to get caught up in it.
*bigs hugs* I hope you two find what you both need Shaka. Keeping you in my thoughts. I know the saggies here gotcha back too.
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I will always be particularly trusting of the advice given by a water sign in these type of emotional matters..so I'd like to show you my appreciation for taking the time to give me your perspective of things smile
You touched a key part of her..she REALLY is someone who does not have the same sense of boundaries as most people and I love her for it, doesnt mean she is a loose cannon with no common sense, she just seems to *know* when to be truly sensible and when to let things happen without thinking too much.
"A lot of time when I was at war between fear and heart and logic and I was moreso trying to convince myself of a point and projecting it into the ex. That's what an undone Scorpio Venus can do."
^This particular
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^This particular quote also grabbed my attention a lot^ and one of the reasons I feel I should not give up just yet, I havent responded to her facebook message, I'll take a few days I think..but when I do, I want to be 200% sure that what Im going to say to her is in line with how Im planning to proceed next..
Thanks so much for your kind words, hugs to you too smile
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Posted by HonneTatemae
Message sent!
smile


And responded.. Winking
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Posted by bubblyaquarius
Have you read the message yet? And thank you, I am a pretty Aqua! I blame it on the Pisces. Anyway, you are soo different from me. I would have totally read the message! Ha, I can't help myself. But I'm glad your taking things slow and hanging out with friends who love and care about you. It's not the end of the world. I wish I was as clam as you...Anyway. please update us!


Yes I did read the message, if you want I can PM it to you smile
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Posted by DMV
sometimes i as a vsp, lunar scorp, and venus in cap, i want someone to sweat me just to validate my feelings you know. so i will pull back in hopes that the other person will fight to break down my walls and wont let me walk away.
i dont want a sucka, but i need someone who i can in effect, bitch out and walk away from and have them grovel to get me back. but once i know your love is true, you wont have to go through that anymore and i will work overtime to love you better than anyone.


I know exactly what you mean and secretly here's me hoping Sag feels the same way about it Winking
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This is so funny because this is exactly what happened with me and the virgo guy I dated.
We only dated for about a month and than I moved away.
We had this whirlwind short lived relationship that pretty much consisted of hot sex , parties, listening to doors records naked holding eachother and smoking on roofs. lol

Good times smile you hang in there shaka!
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Posted by bubblyaquarius
Posted by PotHeadVirgo22
.........-_-.....okayyyyy, didn't know it meant that much to you. You still look beautiful so stop fucking complaining, geesh.-_-


lol I don't think I'm ugly, but Virgos look so much more feminine than Aquas and well, I just don't look like a virgo. My sis is a virgo.
Anyway, things with my sag are feeling kinda boring now. *sighs* But its better than drama and fighting. Shaka????
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I PMed you!
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Posted by xygeneration
My cousin is a Sag, she was born Dec. 12. She was going to break up with her Pisces guy about 3 years ago, because she felt like it was slowing her down from her goals. Now they are married.
You have to fight fire with fire, you can't be passive if you want them. Well, from what it seems like with my cousin and her now husband that's what happened. Oh and they have the cutest baby who shares the same birthday as her.


Thanks a lot for your advice! the sag Im dealing with was also born Dec 12th.
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