2016

It's not boding me well at all. Pitfall after pitfall. Pretty soon it'll just be one giant abyss. Despite this, I'm trying to be positive. I am borderline depressed, but I refuse to let it fall down that hard. I'm miserable but refuse to be miserable. If that even makes sense...but everything makes me sad when I think about events and occurrences in my life recently. I want to be happy but I don't even know what that feels like. It's pathetic, but the only emotions, even as a child, I have ever been able to feel are negative ones such as anger or sadness. It's strange and I know it doesnt make sense, but even at jokes or when others are laughing, I just try to follow along or just smile. It's like living in a glass bubble... (I once posted something similar when I posted about having Virgo Moon). The only time I've felt raw, yet artificially created happiness was on MDMA. Judge me, whatever. I don't care. But it's the only time I really know what it's like to feel "alive". I try to do it maybe once a month to regulate my moods. Haven't had it since Nov. A "friend" of mine had me buy off her friend. Turns out it was cut with meth and some type of psychedelic. I almost died. This was last week actually. Fun stuff. I'm keeping that one for the books. Lol.

I'm just here to rant. I stay strong for my friends and keep my head high. I would never want to drag them down with me, but I feel very hopeless. Nothing seems to be going right and it feels like the world as of right now is against me, and I don't know why. Sometimes I'm just tired of being alive. I'm being dramatic. Nobody needs to come say "ooo feel better feel better". I don't expect that, because I know I need to snap out of it. I just wanted to rant about my year so far. It's been a train wreck. A complete train wreck. The whole beginning of 2016 has revolved around death (literally- lots of death so far) and misery. Waiting for that rebirth period LOL. Where's it at tho.

Rant over. You don't even really need to read this. It just feels nice to vent about it somewhere. I would never want to rant about something like this to my friends and drown them in my own misery.

I hope everyone else is having a much better 2016 than me. Spreading hope to you all even from the little that I have left for myself. I honestly hope no one ever has to feel like I do.

Not going to do the feel better shpeel. Just please take care of yourself and know coming from someone who has dealt with depression, drug use, and is old enough to be your mom (so I have years of life experience to back this up) 😛 it DOES get better,

Oh sweetheart stay strong...... 😢

Since Life is giving you a lot to deal with, you must be a strong person who can carry this. One day you discover that this period made you stronger..


For some reason you need this kind of life experience.

I hope that you'll start to feel better!

I've had a rocky start to this year too, with many unexpected problems coming out of nowhere. So now I can be hypervigilant. Maybe you relate? Shitty state to endure.

Keep your head up, you have to so you can see that there are brighter days ahead.

Go on you tube and look for June Lodge's song---Someone love you honey. That's my dedication to you.

Sorry I don't know how to post you tube videos.

Stay strong girl, it's hard I know. Thinking of you and hoping things get better for you.

So why is it Scorpio women suffer from depression or mental illness? I'm working with another Scorpio woman for the last 7 months I've known her for 2 decades, working with her thou I've seen the other side of her. Scorpios never really see the positive in life if they do its short lived everything is negative its always one step away from disaster. When you are with a Scorpio alone and they feel comfortable they give you that look of they want to talk but they don't want to.

It really wears a guy down trying to make a Scorpio feel positive when she reverts being negative, makes you think really don't you ever see the positive in life I know I can be negative Scorpio women are more so life isn't that bad to be immersed in constant negativity. Now that I'm working with another Scorp and I'm around her a lot it reminds of dealing with the first Scorpio it makes you feel depressed when you are with them.

Remember, life hits like a bitch, YOU hit back like a freight train. Unless you are like a serial killer or abuse small children, there is nothing in this life that you have done to accept laying at the bottom of the pit. Climb out and reward yourself with a war dance on the bones of your enemies.

As an aside, see if you can take some time out for yourself and do some running, cardio, kickboxing, chemically speaking, you can trick your body into giving you happy hormones to get the edge off.

Posted by starlover
....look at Saturn

this.

i was also thinking of it being saturn in Sagittarius, and it's supposed to effect heavily mutable folks in the chart. or with anyone with rising, moon, sun mars venus mercury ect.

you're not alone, degenerate.