Not too serious but...

First... the story: I met a Scorpio chick in the second half of 2011... for me, it was one of those sudden attraction...

This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by David13 on Monday, April 1, 2013 and has 207 replies.
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Posted by ellessque
Posted by IntriguedScorp
She's got that Leeb venus doesn't she? We can go back and forth, hot and cold for ages while getting situated into a relationship. In fact, that's where we feel the most safe--not making a decision. Its safe there. Big Grin
Secretly, however, we want someone to force us into a decision because Lord knows every angle looks good to us while we are mulling it over. Should I stay or should I go? Yep. That sounds good. Wait, let me think about it some more. Seriously. Once the bluff is called, then its decision making time. OMG a leeb having to make a decision--her head is probably spinning. Not kidding.
But her Scorp will soon rein that in and she'll come up with a position soon enough and then let you know. She'll lay it all on the line so you will have absolutely no doubt. Good luck


lol
not that attractive to others.....but certainly true Big Grin
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PS Ellessque... did you change your hair ?! I LIKE it !!! Winking
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Posted by LunarMaiden
Posted by David13
Posted by LunarMaiden
Posted by David13
Six days have passed... no news... and I just miss her today. How did THAT happen ?!

Was it not suppose to happen?


NOOO ! Not yet anyway... I am supposed to be able to wait longer than SHE !
Today is 'La f?te des M?res' here... 'Mother's Day'. I've been thinking about sending her a message to acknowledge it since yesterday... weighing whether or not it would strengthen or weaken my position. I feel if I send a message... it would show that I care... which I don't know if it would be good thing. I feel if I don't send one... then she would think that I am just getting even for her canceling my birthday... but then again... it is no longer an 'obligation' right ?
Sad


Hmm, depends on what you are trying to do here.
My last impression was that you are trying to end it and she was trying to let you down easy.
Are you trying to end it?
Or are you just mad that she forgot your birthday and isn't showing strong interest and uncomplicated behavior?
Is she really interested in pursuing this with you?
Relationships are just too complicated these days.
Or do we make them complicated?
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I wasn't trying to end it... it just ended up that way. I'm not angry anymore... but frankly I have no idea if she wants to pursue anything with me or not... she has never been one to be completely clear... her actions are not the same as her words.
I agree with your latter... 'we make relationships complicated'.
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Posted by piggytoo240
^^^
Hey Lunar! ( waves )
Relationships are just too complicated these days.
Or do we make them complicated?
^^^ I wonder about this one too.
Hello David! I've read your story and just want to wish you luck with your situation smile

Thank you ! And HELLO ! Winking
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So... the latest:
I wrote:
Si j'ai compris bien, c???tait TA journ?e aujourd'hui. Bonne f?te des m?res... j??esp?re que t'a pass?e un bon moment avec ta famille... Happy Mother's Day. Winking
[if I have understood correctly, today is YOUR day. Happy Mother's Day... I hope that you had a nice time with your family]
She answered 15 minutes later:
Merci, ca me fait plaisier que tu m'envoies ce message.
[Thank you, it made me happy that you sent me a message.]
She went on to say that she spent her day alone... because her daughter wasn't there for the weekend.
I answered saying that it was too bad... that I was sure that her daughter would have come home early for HER day.
She didn't answer... I didn't expect her to... I figured she fell asleep... it was about the time she usually goes to bed. I have heard nothing else since. Voila !
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Posted by 87scorpio
Posted by David13
So... the latest:
I wrote:
Si j'ai compris bien, c???tait TA journ?e aujourd'hui. Bonne f?te des m?res... j??esp?re que t'a pass?e un bon moment avec ta famille... Happy Mother's Day. Winking
[if I have understood correctly, today is YOUR day. Happy Mother's Day... I hope that you had a nice time with your family]
She answered 15 minutes later:
Merci, ca me fait plaisier que tu m'envoies ce message.
[Thank you, it made me happy that you sent me a message.]
She went on to say that she spent her day alone... because her daughter wasn't there for the weekend.
I answered saying that it was too bad... that I was sure that her daughter would have come home early for HER day.
She didn't answer... I didn't expect her to... I figured she fell asleep... it was about the time she usually goes to bed. I have heard nothing else since. Voila !


I wish this woman would get her shit together. You've reached out to her here and I would say the ball is in her court now. The only thing I would say is that your message didn't ask a question. I have noticed sometimes (with myself as well as others) if you don't ask a question, you wont always get a continuation of a conversation. I would have thought she would have commented on the situation from the other weekend.
I don't think I have anything to suggest.
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You're right... I didn't ask a question... but a question imposes on another to answer... I want her to WANT to say something... not feel the NEED to. However... I did let her have her ball... she can feel empowered now... what she does with it is entirely up to her.
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David13: I did let her have her ball... she can feel empowered now...
Scorpios veulent exercer le pouvoir, bien qu'ils ne sachent pas exactement quoi faire avec elle. Ma femme est attir?e sur les taureaux, parce qu'elle sent l'?nergie potentielle en signes de terre, mais je pense qu'elle est souvent d?chir?e entre partager le pouvoir et maniant la puissance. Je me suis demand? si ma lune taurus est ce qui lui attire d'abord pour moi. Je n'envie pas votre situation, mais j'ai certainement sympathiser!!
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David, take from this what you will but for me when I was younger I struggled to let anyone get too close to me, even the good ones (there are far to many I let slip/ pushed away)... There was this inherent fear of people always leaving so I'd push and push and push to get them to prove they'd stick around but I never knew where the line was and so kept on pushing and pushing to make myself right - they would eventually leave because really, who would stick around.
When the guy would just disappear a little on me I'd have to jump back out for the attention/ relationship which is ultimately what I really wanted but never knew what to do with. I remember reading someone say that scorps yearn for love but have no idea what to do when they get it.
Another aspect for me was sex vs someone knowing me. It was easy to just have sex and easy to let people see the real me deep inside but combine the two, no way. I couldn't handle that - that was way too revealing and soul destroying should it disappear.
I'd love to have answers for you on what/ how I was able to change but ultimately it was learning to love myself and realizing that my fear of people always leaving was only coming true so often because I was making it so based on a deep seeded story I made up in early childhood when my biological father gave me up for adoption.
I'm not saying your scorp is the same by any means but perhaps this might reveal a little more of my scorp tendancies (as they were).
You deserve someone who is going to see you as you are now and not play games... you deserve all the love in the world from what I've seen of your beauty on this forum.
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Now Elle Ma Belle, giggle away - but you know Virgos speak some version of the Truth...
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I haven't had time to follow all of David's adventures, but I had hopes it would work out!
Elle: Your current picture reminds me of my Scorpio Daughter -- almost exact same hair style , and expression in a photo I have from her...
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Posted by ellessque
Posted by David13
Posted by ellessque
if it were me, I wouldn't send her a message for 'La f?te des M?res'. Why? Because she's probably anticipating one.
if anything, NOT sending the message will help evaluate what she's done to you and the impact it had on your feelings.

I thought about what you said... um... that's not what I did... don't be mad K ?


bad Taurus....BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
make her do a little bit of work here!
got damn stoic beasts, what the hell are we going to do with you? Tongue
(thanks for the compliment smile)
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Yup... I was bad... but is was the only excuse I thought I would be able to use for awhile so I took it ! It didn't pay off... no doors were opened... and 3 days have passed without hearing another word. So the answer to your question: "what are we going to do with you" (if 'we' meant your sister Scorpios)... the answer seems to be NOTHING.
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Posted by ShakenNotStirred

David13: I did let her have her ball... she can feel empowered now...
Scorpios veulent exercer le pouvoir, bien qu'ils ne sachent pas exactement quoi faire avec elle. Ma femme est attir?e sur les taureaux, parce qu'elle sent l'?nergie potentielle en signes de terre, mais je pense qu'elle est souvent d?chir?e entre partager le pouvoir et maniant la puissance. Je me suis demand? si ma lune taurus est ce qui lui attire d'abord pour moi. Je n'envie pas votre situation, mais j'ai certainement sympathiser!!

Ouais... peut-?tre... mais c'est chiant ?a... et ?a m??innerve ! :\
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Posted by scorpchick76
David, take from this what you will but for me when I was younger I struggled to let anyone get too close to me, even the good ones (there are far to many I let slip/ pushed away)... There was this inherent fear of people always leaving so I'd push and push and push to get them to prove they'd stick around but I never knew where the line was and so kept on pushing and pushing to make myself right - they would eventually leave because really, who would stick around.
When the guy would just disappear a little on me I'd have to jump back out for the attention/ relationship which is ultimately what I really wanted but never knew what to do with. I remember reading someone say that scorps yearn for love but have no idea what to do when they get it.
Another aspect for me was sex vs someone knowing me. It was easy to just have sex and easy to let people see the real me deep inside but combine the two, no way. I couldn't handle that - that was way too revealing and soul destroying should it disappear.
I'd love to have answers for you on what/ how I was able to change but ultimately it was learning to love myself and realizing that my fear of people always leaving was only coming true so often because I was making it so based on a deep seeded story I made up in early childhood when my biological father gave me up for adoption.
I'm not saying your scorp is the same by any means but perhaps this might reveal a little more of my scorp tendancies (as they were).
You deserve someone who is going to see you as you are now and not play games... you deserve all the love in the world from what I've seen of your beauty on this forum.

THAT was nice of you to say.
I guess I can see this in her... but her trend seems more permanent than this... the last guy got a year and a half out of her... and the ones before 5 or 6 years. We hadn't even really begun yet.
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Posted by 87scorpio
Posted by scorpchick76
David, take from this what you will but for me when I was younger I struggled to let anyone get too close to me, even the good ones (there are far to many I let slip/ pushed away)... There was this inherent fear of people always leaving so I'd push and push and push to get them to prove they'd stick around but I never knew where the line was and so kept on pushing and pushing to make myself right - they would eventually leave because really, who would stick around.
When the guy would just disappear a little on me I'd have to jump back out for the attention/ relationship which is ultimately what I really wanted but never knew what to do with. I remember reading someone say that scorps yearn for love but have no idea what to do when they get it.
Another aspect for me was sex vs someone knowing me. It was easy to just have sex and easy to let people see the real me deep inside but combine the two, no way. I couldn't handle that - that was way too revealing and soul destroying should it disappear.
I'd love to have answers for you on what/ how I was able to change but ultimately it was learning to love myself and realizing that my fear of people always leaving was only coming true so often because I was making it so based on a deep seeded story I made up in early childhood when my biological father gave me up for adoption.
I'm not saying your scorp is the same by any means but perhaps this might reveal a little more of my scorp tendancies (as they were).
You deserve someone who is going to see you as you are now and not play games... you deserve all the love in the world from what I've seen of your beauty on this forum.


Same for me, I second this (probably said similar already)
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Yes... I'm quite sure you have !
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So all you Scorpio chicks... especially the ones with moons in Libra... what would YOU suggest I do ?
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Get over it and move on!!!
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<#ppbnf&0
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Oh FFS if David was a woman you, most of you say 90+ % would have told her to move on, he's treating you like a slut blah blah blah...but for some strange reason because he is a man all of a sudden....she's in denial, she doesn't know where she is at, she's confused....
Stop giving this guy false hope! Actions speak way louder than words whether you are male or female and he needs to know without a doubt to DO HIM!!!!!
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<"`dbk`e.
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^^ Why is post in bold face?
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Thank you Nic Winking
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<"`dbk`e.
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Posted by 87scorpio
Maybe they are right David, maybe she is a bitch (and you do deserve better!)
But, I have so much sympathy for that cancer moon. (purely based on what I have read online)-I couldn't even get my cancer moon (close) friend to open up to me about any of it. Read up and see if the shoe fits. Especially if she has a 12th house moon placement. Then you have got problems.


Yeah... I think you might be right. Her Cancer moon placement is in her 9th house.
I was with a Cancer-mooned Taurus some years ago whom I absolutely adored... it was off and on for quite some time. She still contacts me every now and again. Incidentally, SHE was the first person to contact me on my birthday.
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Posted by ellessque
wait. she has a moon in libra too? or just venus.

My mistake... that is what happens when one thinks of Venus and the Moon at that same time. Her moon is in Cancer... her venus in Libra... as YOU said.
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Posted by Nicrobliz
I've only read pages 1, 19 and 20. My opinion? Dump the selfish cold-hearted bitch - you deserve better. She'll just continue dishing out this shit on you.
Sorry for being so frank.

You might be right. Point noted.
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Posted by ellessque
enough is ENOUGH, David.
She's a JERK!!!

How do you REALLY feel Ellessque ma belle ? (I thought that was clever) Winking
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Posted by IntriguedScorp
Maybe she was really close to her dad--who died only a month ago and she is grieving. Maybe all the dramatics are too much for her to take. I read through this entire thread and if she didn't call or write within a day or so, David got mad. He got mad at her a lot. Her disappearing didn't help either.
Maybe they aren't meant to be. So be it.
No one in this scenario has to be the bad guy. Life doesn't always turn out the way we want it to--unfortunately.
When this thread started, the Scorp was trying to get David to say he loved her--maybe only playfully, but it suggested she had feelings. It appears that this relationship never got a grip on its flow--or maybe it never had a flow. *shrugs*

No... she was mever close to her father... she feels he is to blame for her Mother's early death... almost 10 years ago.
STill... you point out well that no one can possibly know what is really going on with her... and it is only from MY perspectives that one can form a conclusion on... which is not really conclusive.
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Posted by 87scorpio
^^I started new threads on both boards about these crazy scorp/bull relationships to see if any of them have been straight forward. I don't know about opposite signs, we're too damn similar if you ask me!

You have a valid point here. But... would I ever try it again in the future ? OH YEAH !
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Posted by 87scorpio
Wouldn't expect a non scorpio or taurus to get this at all.

It is a sort undeniable meeting of souls... isn't it. Something just seems to come to life in the pairing... always something mystical in the attraction.
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Posted by David13
... It can only get better OR worse from here... either we never speak again OR she gives me some sort of indication that I have some importance in her life.


I thought this was a good stand to take, David. I could do without the "some sort of indication" plea, though, it's sounds weak, right?
I read your entire thread and I thought that you would come to this. When you did, I was hoping you would stick to it. I'm sure it's a man thing to pursue the woman he wants, so I'm not knocking you for reaching out to her again after you posted this stance. If I were you, though, I wouldn't second guess her, even if her behavior contradicts what she says or vice versa. You have to let her be accountable for her behavior to you. You are not doing that.
Scorpios in love are very sentimental and mushy. Birthdays are PERSONAL. FOR YOU ONLY. No way a scorpio would have treated it like just another day for someone special in their lives.
Let this one go. You are keeping her in the way of your getting someone you DESERVE.
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I think I received 'some sort of indication'... though I will not be exactly sure until tomorrow.
Tonight... she is at a Birthday Party. I know this because she has been drunk SMSing me. I entertained it of course... her telling me that she has been quiet to avoid giving me false hope... and then almost in the same sentence sending 'tender' kisses. A little later in the evening... she sent more kisses 'just because' she 'really loves' my kisses. I am thinking that she may be insane !
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Here we go again!
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Posted by David13
I think I received 'some sort of indication'... though I will not be exactly sure until tomorrow.
Tonight... she is at a Birthday Party. I know this because she has been drunk SMSing me. I entertained it of course... her telling me that she has been quiet to avoid giving me false hope... and then almost in the same sentence sending 'tender' kisses. A little later in the evening... she sent more kisses 'just because' she 'really loves' my kisses. I am thinking that she may be insane !



She doesn't want to give you false hope.. because she doesn't like you but will keep you as her fuck toy. And of course, you entertained it? you're right... it maybe her Cancer moon that's the problem.
you're too easy... and she's known this from the jump. She told you exactly what she was about. You didn't care... She showed you with her actions what she's about... (including trying to seduce you when you showed up at her house) and you don't care
She messes with you without apology, just excuses because she can... and you call HER crazy?
wow. oh David... you should stay away from water signs Sad
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idk, I find Scorpios and Taurus to be a lot alike. Imho, both signs can tend to string along, and thats what she's doing imho. She's being somewhat honest, yet she is sending mixed signlas, and I personally think taurus occasionally enjoy a little torture, which is why it appears you are being a willing participant here.
scorpios, especially, I find are notorious for that grey area. give just enough to keep you wondering about what could be, but heck...taurus do the same.
again, imho, opposites are more alike than anything. if youve ever given a woman mixed signals in the past think of the reasons why.
I have a scorpio venus, and I only have that desire to torture a person I like but cant completely trust for whatever reason.
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Posted by shellshocker
Posted by David13
I think I received 'some sort of indication'... though I will not be exactly sure until tomorrow.
Tonight... she is at a Birthday Party. I know this because she has been drunk SMSing me. I entertained it of course... her telling me that she has been quiet to avoid giving me false hope... and then almost in the same sentence sending 'tender' kisses. A little later in the evening... she sent more kisses 'just because' she 'really loves' my kisses. I am thinking that she may be insane !



She doesn't want to give you false hope.. because she doesn't like you but will keep you as her fuck toy. And of course, you entertained it? you're right... it maybe her Cancer moon that's the problem.
you're too easy... and she's known this from the jump. She told you exactly what she was about. You didn't care... She showed you with her actions what she's about... (including trying to seduce you when you showed up at her house) and you don't care
She messes with you without apology, just excuses because she can... and you call HER crazy?
wow. oh David... you should stay away from water signs Sad
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I have nothing that I can debate with you here.
YOU're right... I don't care. If her only intention was 'to play'... she should have made it clear in the beginning... I just do better when the rules have been clearly defined... I think that I know them now.
YES. I am easy... but I am ALSO quite selective. I follow chemical attraction first... and REAL chemical attraction is seldom found... so when it comes... I don't question it... I just take it. So in a sense, this is what I signed up for.
I have actually told her never to apologize for the way she feels... maybe it is just my way not to expect apologies.
I didn't say she was 'crazy'... the word I used was 'insane'... I attach a slightly different meaning to these words. But... as the clich? goes... it takes one to know one... which I have never proclaimed that I was not. With that in mind... I would rather be in THIS place... where SOMETHING is happening... then be lost in the many lonely months or years in-between 'serious' relationships... when life seems to have lost its sheen.
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Posted by IntriguedScorp
David, have you ever come out and asked her what "false hope" means? I have to admit--i have no clue what this scorp is on about with that. Just a thought.

No... I think I know what it means... though I lack the details. It has something to with how she has said that I am not the usual kind of guy she chooses to be with. She has her schema for what HER man should be like... I suppose many do. We are never really with whom we had always expected to be with, are we.
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Posted by lnana04
idk, I find Scorpios and Taurus to be a lot alike. Imho, both signs can tend to string along, and thats what she's doing imho. She's being somewhat honest, yet she is sending mixed signlas, and I personally think taurus occasionally enjoy a little torture, which is why it appears you are being a willing participant here.
scorpios, especially, I find are notorious for that grey area. give just enough to keep you wondering about what could be, but heck...taurus do the same.
again, imho, opposites are more alike than anything. if youve ever given a woman mixed signals in the past think of the reasons why.
I have a scorpio venus, and I only have that desire to torture a person I like but cant completely trust for whatever reason.

I don't know... I think anyone is capable of 'stringing someone along'... but that is just what we label it as... the perspective of the one feeling 'strung'. It is rare that people really know what they want. Mixed signals are very much the same... a perception... as not everyone went to the same 'signal' school.
If a person is not meeting any of another's wants and/or needs... there is no reason to keep them around... I fulfill something in her... as does she in me. Until it becomes completely one-sided... we are here.
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Posted by IntriguedScorp
Hmm, yeah. "False hope" is so ambiguous and can mean so many things. Maybe you should get a definition from this lady.
For instance, just thinking about the definition of false hope, I can come up with so many possibilities.
1. I don't want to give you false hope because right now my life is so effed up that I am a complete mess and I'm not ready to bring anyone into it.
or
2. I don't want to give you false hope because you came into my life when I wasn't expecting it and I had this wonderful plan going and you have disrupted it and now my life is in chaos trying to figure out if you fit into it or not.
or
3. I don't want to give you false hope because I don't really like you, but the sex is great, let's just have fun.
or
4. I don't want to give you false hope because I don't know what I want.

So many possibilities with "false hope." :/ Its too ambiguous to assume anything, imho.

Could even be a mix of ALL of THAT ! Winking
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Posted by IntriguedScorp
I have always found that the best relationships come when you are least expecting them and sometimes they don't take the form of anything you have ever experienced before.


Gah! This couldn't ring more true... I met my recently ex-taurus when I was over looking for anything and even upon first meeting thought he was a little odd but he won me over, stole my heart and well... anyway, here we are. I'm completely of the belief that we can manifest what we want in life in our thoughts/ actions but when it comes along is anyone's guess. Life is funny that way. And true, as David said, it usually isn't what we expected it to look like either.
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Posted by IntriguedScorp
Nicro you make a lot of sense.
On the other hand, sticking too closely to a formula might end up costing you the love of your life. I have always found that the best relationships come when you are least expecting them and sometimes they don't take the form of anything you have ever experienced before.


I completely agree with this. I guess my whole thing with David's situation is that I really didn't understand what was the purpose of his thread through it's progression. If he wanted insight/advise/wanted to know what to expect. But he has made it pretty obvious that he knows what he signed up for and likes this kind of treatment because it is "something" that makes him feel and better than nothing... ( a water sign specialty)
NOW I understand. He likes it and as Nicro said he doesn't seem to mind the absences of consideration, manners and basic human respect. I would have the same observations/opinion on this situation if David was a man or a woman... but I have found the gender bias in this overall thread fascinating.
You seem fine, David.... enjoy smile

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I saw her today... she asked me if she could come over. I have to say that she seemed rather different than the last time I saw her. She was very affectionate. We didn't really speak until it was time for pillow talk.
"I hope that it isn't just about the sex for you" She said. I asked her why she would think that... which she didn't really have an answer for. She added that she hopes I like her for more than just for the sex. What I found amusing here, was that SHE was the one that suggested we go to the bedroom in the first place... because SHE wanted to feel me against her. I told her that I have tried to get closer to her but that she disappears. She actually seemed confused. I told her that just now, we had shared a good moment... then I told her that she will feel good the rest of the day... that she would feel good tomorrow... and that something would happen inside her that makes her want to be left alone.
She started opening more than I have ever seen her do... saying that THIS was not HER... that she feels good when she is at my place... but sometimes at her place she remembers the last guy... admitting that it was in her own head. Now... I could understand THIS... I had a house I bought in the US many years ago... it was very difficult to start something with someone else... as I had only been with one person in that house. She is changing her place... painting et cetera... but she only bought it 2 years ago... the life that she thought she would have in it didn't happen.
I asked her about her other relationships... if there was someone whom she thought was only interested in sex from her... she didn't think so. I told her that I really enjoy sharing my time with her... I assured that it was NOT just about the sex, though I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy that too. I said that in our little 'something', whatever it is, it is OURS... why question it.
She told me that she often hears songs that remind her of me... she even admitted to me (without persuasion) that she cried a lot after I left her place 3 weeks ago... but that she understood why I would go like I did.
I think it important to note here that she did the 'I love you' thing... in English and then a little later in French during the 'session' that followed. Perhaps the way to a Scorpio woman's heart is through her... well... nevermind that... but it does startle me how moved she can become during these moments.
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Posted by ellessque
it's not until both parties have been beat down emotionally that some real communication can even possibly occur. it's a weird dance, for sure.


SO VERY TRUE!!
Things are definitely over with the Taurus I was with but we have never had such open conversations... sad really that it took this point to get there but I'm happy for David that things are still on with his scorp and he's at this point.
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Hmmmmm...
So... she wanted me to come to her house this evening to stay the night... I didn't because I have a very early train in the morning. It was very nice of her to invite me... it has only been two days since I saw her... not exactly the pattern that she had before... I hope it sticks ! Winking It WILL stick, won't it ?
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YAY DAVID!!! IM HAPPY FOR YOU! HOPE ALL GOES WELL AND STAYS WELL!
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OMG Im glad that its just not me David is ignoring!!! Where are David?????? We miss you!
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..He's just being a typical Taurus..smile
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Posted by saweetz1988
..He's just being a typical Taurus..smile


BAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!
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Posted by scorpchick76
Posted by saweetz1988
..He's just being a typical Taurus..smile

BAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!
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What did you mean by that ?!! Don't get all bent out of shape... it's only been a couple of days !!! Winking
Anyway... I GUESS we are still an item. We spent a weekend at the beach in July... we went to Corsica together in August... after which, I even met most of her immediate family... as just a FRIEND I might add. I have also helped her with a lot of her house projects... we seem able to work well together in this way.
BUT... as of now I haven't seen her for a week and a half. She returned from a 4-day conference last Thursday relating to her job... which I can understand. She returned that evening very late and still had to go to work the next day... sending me a message that she was glad to be home. Since Friday... for a reason that I have not managed to uncover... she has NOT been so content... and the only times I have heard from her is at night... when I send her a 'good night' via sms.
On Saturday evening, vaguely answering my questions, she admitted that she has been very sad. She wouldn't share the reason with me saying that she has 'to solve her own problems... and that she was feeling alone and can't stand her loneliness anymore.' On Sunday I wished her a 'good night' as usual... but her 'you too' like response bothered me a bit. While on her trip, she sent me nice little messages always with 'kiss' icons or something of the like... but none such as these since Thursday. Thinking about all of this... I decided NOT to send her a 'good night' on Monday... and again on Tuesday (last night). This has not prompted a response on her part... but I didn't really expect it to.
She feels ALONE ?!! I suspect this has to do with her last boyfriend of a year and a half that ended at the end of last year... I COULD be wrong. I don't think she has completely turned THAT page yet completely... she keeps looking back at it. I am sure that it is more difficult to do when he still lives rather close to her... and their daughters remain friends while attending the same school. It appears as though his ghost is still haunting her... and that I am losing the imaginary competition for the moment. So I wait... for now.

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We have been seeing each other for close to 8 glorious, fun-filled, on-and-off months now. I have learned from her, that the only way to compete with her phantom... is to become ethereal as well. I don't know her triggers for taking her back to her past... but she goes to live there often... seemingly preferring to be buried by her hurt... not content to just living her life as it is now. I know that I have stepped on those mines a few times... as her ghost's name will periodically come up from the deep... me unexpecting... at which times I simply listen... gently.
I will admit that I am getting tired. She has a certain selfishness about her that I cannot completely identify... though I cannot say she is selfish. I have noticed it when we speak... in her messages... in the bedroom... always taking in some way... without reciprocal giving. I am not sure if that makes any sense.
Just when I think we are going somewhere... she derails the train... creating an issue from mere air... I fail to understand this part of her nature.
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David you're back...oh how I missed you my friend!! I am sorry for your update. I don??t really have any input except I am going through the same thing with the Scorp I have been seeing for a little over 8 mo. The on and off is gettin old. We just had a great few weeks spending a lot of time together and what I thought getting closer and then this week it appears to be off again. I am not sure why they pull back once they start getting closer. It is funny you mention the selfish thing because my girlfriend and I were just talking today and she said that the Scorp I am seeing is very selfish. For know I am just going to go stone cold quite and give him all the space he needs...because I said all I needed to say last night. I don??t know about yours but mine keeps saying that he isn??t good enough for me and I deserve better. I don??t know why they won??t just let us love on them and why we can??t just enjoy the time we have together and be happy. I feel like I should walk away but I am drawn to him and him me...it sucks cause I just want us to be happy! I'm sharing this with you so you know that you are not the only one going through it...we are doing it together. Kisses to my friend and I hope things turn around.
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@ Nicrobliz
Been there, done that, have you ? It seems I have seen the link that you posted quite some time ago... maybe P-Angel posted it again ? No matter. She often makes good points... I just struggle with her delivery as it always seems to lack any and all sense of compassion.
I cannot hold it all against women... there are men out there too that do the same sort of thing... just a little more 'manly' about it. I have had friends that wore me out with their self-pity trips... it CAN get rather tiring... in either way.
In my 'special' case, she will tell me just enough to know that something is wrong inside of her... but refuses to tell me anything more... always leaving me with my guessing. Perhaps she found herself to be happy for too long... now feeling the need to sabotage what has been built... it has been due for awhile... as I have realized that THIS is just how she is... what can I say... she's French !
I read John Gray's book 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' years ago. As men... we are wired to fix problems... but women don't actually want them fixed... but rather they must sink all the way to the bottom before they can come back up. WE try to prevent it... but it only slows the process... which process is long enough as it is.
I should just be grateful that she doesn't want me around to see her this way... as you and I both know... THAT can often lead to worse. There is no reason to subject myself to any of her wrath that doesn't actually belong to me. It's all on her... I have done nothing wrong.
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