the more i seem to want to micromanage the world around me, the more things seem to slip beyond my reach. especially emotionally, i always pay attention to how certain people or places make me feel, but the deeper i invest myself emotionally in things the deeper my attachments become, and then in the process of trying to control my environment i end up losing said attachments and become further alienated from myself because, for whatever reason, i believe it's my fault. and i have this big feeling i'm right, and you know scorps and their feelings.
sometimes i feel like a dam with so much water behind it that i should break twenty times over, but i don't. any other scorps out there share the dilemma?
i dig on your empathy 😉but expressing myself emotionally has always been difficult. as a kid i was taught by my dad to repress my emotions, although the times i felt most alive were those times when i was going through a breakdown, if that makes sense. not only this, but i have this strong fear of confronting myself emotionally - i've done a lot of running from myself and it's hard sometimes to catch up. i know that i'm a beautiful person but i know this in the way like i know gravity exists - it's a concept and you see proof of its existence on a daily basis, but you can never hold it in your hands.
i don't know. a lot of coincidental emotional issues conglomerating into this whole big alienating mess.
p.s. crab sensitivty is the sexiest thing ever, second only to piscean fragility. ;D
What you are going through now is a scorpio rite of passage. We are very introspective people. That's why in the end we know ourselves better than anyone else, and also why people find it hard to really get to know us (that's why we're seen as mysterious). This is just a phase, at the end of it you will have learned to completely accept your flaws and yourself and become a more confident man because of it. You'll learn that expressing yourself is not a sign of weakness (unfortunately, most men are thought this which is why your father taught it to you) but nowadays men realize that you just can't keep all of the butter bottled up inside. It has to be let out, be it to your partner or a friend you trust. Or you can just come here and vent because 9 times out of 10 someone here is going through/gone through what you have. This forum is actually really for that because we do find it so hard to express ourselves, it's nice to see other people who think/feel the same way. What you have to remember is that you always have to be true to yourself and that at the end of the day you are comfortable with all of your decisions. Also as Scorps we tend to be controlling but as we get older we get much better at managing that desire. So the mircomanaging thing will pass, especially once you realize that it takes way to much out of you. You'll just begin to look for people who you can trust (trust is a BIG deal to us). Depression is also a Scorp trait, of course I'm not saying we're the only ones who are but due to our constantly looking inward and then being so hard on ourselves, it seems to be a byproduct of it. But don't be hard on yourself right now, you are just figuring it all out.
sexyscorp, you're totally right...i had a long conversation with a gemini friend today who put things into perspective for me. i've always been so hard on myself that i've always tried to improve my unfavorable qualities, but in the process of supposed "improvement" i forgot about all of my good qualities...and this negative focus, coupled with my extreme sensitivity and driving ambition created a wreck.
thank you all for your responses, they're one step in aiding me regain the light which i lost ;D
Like I've preached in other post... Cancers are good for boiling, cutting, and eating. EAT THOSE CRABS! Of course it might take a while to open because of the sharp and hard shell but you better be aggressive and RIP IT TO PIECES!!!! ONCE YOU GET TO THAT SOFT MEAT IT LOOKS VERY TASTY
EAT IT! EAT IT AND THEN THROW THE REMAINING PARTS IN THE TRASH FOR YOU DO NOT NEED THAT CRAB ANYMORE, YOU HAVE GOTTEN WHAT YOU WERE LOOKING FOR.
That's a sad face! I mean an angry face, like a "you're in trouble! mthrfcker!!!" face. Maybe they don't have them. Okay then thanks for the help. You're welcome. Goodbye.
I'm still eating those crabs and frying those fish regardless! They're good! I wonder if people really eat scorpions and real life. They look like they taste horrid.
"good girl, Jamez. Sorry, was busy, but I see you have taken good care of this place. No nasty posts I see. they are all hidden except yours. Good job!"
Well after you take away layer upon layer of that hard shell, theres fuck all left, so pointless really if you ask me...Its like working for something so hard only to get there one day only to think "shit was this all the fuss was about"..damn...
Fish is nice when grilled or steamed..Mmmmm..soo healthy....Long live George Foreman!...
Where I come from Crab is considered dirty and fish is considered sacred...or something to that effect..
Scorpios well..my sagi friend ate a scorpio...eeeeek...I am actually shit scared of scorpions..they petrify me...such horrid looking things..they send shivers up ze spine...
Scorpio wreck disapopeared for ages.....bless him...last time we heard he had spotted a girl with red hair or smething and he was all loved up and mesmerised by the experience..hopeless romantic that he is...bless...he is pretty hot...like someone said earlier..he looks like he's off the set of Lost...lol
MM, that experience inspired me to move to san francisco where i currently reside - right now i'm living and performing with 9 other people in a circus downtown. i'm the resident fire spinner! i never did find the girl with the devil eyes ;D but i am currently seeing a sag who's giving me a run for my money.
shattered-dreamz, i understand ten-fold...not only as a fellow water sign but also as the best friend of a heavily influenced pisces. it sounds like you've found emotional clarity within your life, which as i'm sure you know is especially important for water signs in particular...the beautiful thing about being a water sign is that no matter how much emotional depravity we're capable of, we also possess just as much the potential to reach soaring heights of emotional ecstasy...
and yes, i am rather quiet-tempered - the gemini rising mixes things up though, i can be rather scatter-brained and easily swept if i'm caught off-guard. ;D
sometimes i feel like a dam with so much water behind it that i should break twenty times over, but i don't. any other scorps out there share the dilemma?