Yama
@Yama
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As such, through this magnanimous approach the erudite English prohibited the corrupt Welsh from their propensity towards depravity. For centuries undisturbed sheep grazed and prospered, producing fine wool and succulent lamb. Unfortunately, their peace has been broken in the last 20 years as the feasibility of mining in Wales became unpractical. Government crimes statistics have revealed a clear correlation between the rise in structurally unemployed former miners and the increase in sheep penetration incidents. The problem has become such a serious affliction that Tony Blair regularly delights his ennobled English audiences with his axiom, "I am going to get tough on sheep shagging, and tough on the causes of sheep shagging." Thus far efforts to ameliorate this dire predicament have proved relatively unsuccessful. These have included an eclectic array of policies, including such replacement job creation as paying Welshmen to lick windows clean and un-tooled cesspit cleansing. Out of desperation and in an attempt to couch itself in a democratic pretence the government has launched a major public consultation. Suggestions to www.labour.co.uk
Dr. Ivor Kitten, Bangkok School of Bestiality studies
Dr. Ivor Kitten, Bangkok School of Bestiality studies
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Tyranny of King John
The tyranny of the Union's most ignominious monarch, King John was tarred by an inherent division between the Principality of Wales, and England. His monarchy saw dangerous factions form as well as the grave prospect of collapse of English/Welsh solidarity.
The cause of this discontent is slightly bizarre. English high society and gentry stood aghast as King John presided over a highly controversial agricultural policy. It was upon his edict that a popular Welsh assertion was legalised and therefore to an extent, legitimised. James Sperike, a member of the King's court is recorded as commenting "ye is somewhat perturbed and chagrined by the insouciant, immoral and, I hazard to say injudicious pronouncements upon the King's conscience." Indeed to this day, this Welsh postulation remains a significant problem in the Welsh valleys. This prosaic myth was that having sexual intercourse with livestock, in particular sheep, would improve their yield. Unsurprisingly, the English stood in moral outrage, and launched against their monarch's will a vast campaign against the unethical Welsh.
The wise English leaders showed great sagacity in cognizing that the most efficacious way to subjugate Welsh society was through job creation, rather then the brutal, unforgiving wholesale slaughtering of Welsh men (not women and children of course). To this end they built mines to employ the misguided Welsh man. This was based on the assumption that the less than industrious Welshman was, whilst under ground for 23 hours each day, unlikely to have the opportunity to commit such misdemeanours.
As such, through this magnanimous approach the erudite English prohibited the corrupt Welsh from their propensity towards depravity. For centuries undisturbed sheep grazed and prospered, producing fine wool and succulent lamb. Unfortunately, their peace has been broken in the last 20 years as the feasibility of mining in Wales became unpractical. Government crimes statistics have revealed a clear correlation between the rise in structurally unemployed former miners and the increase in sheep penetration incidents. The problem has become such a serious affliction that Tony Blair regularly delights his ennobled English audiences with his axiom, "I am going to get tough on sheep shagging, and tough on the causes of sheep shagging." Thus far efforts to ameliorate this dire predicament have proved rela