calling all my fellow scorps :)

Posted by Rays Heart
Yes but the fact that she said that she's afraid to break up, makes me wonder? Is it cheating, physical abuse ect?

Posted by scorpio24
hey guys,
i am currently in a relationship with a virgo who i love BUT, it needs to end cause it is just not working out. Just wondering, how do other scorps deal with a breakup that needs to happen even if they dont want it to? I am too scared to do it i know i'll be a complete mess to begin with, but will get over it eventually.
my plan is to:
1. break up, but have NO contact (even though he said he still wants to have contact, i told him this will be impossible to do at the begining.)
2. delete his number, delete and block him off facebook so i dont have to see anything he's doing/who he's talking to cause it will break my heart.
3. if he tries to contact me, to ignore him at all costs, and ignore going to social events thaty i know he will be at.

I am very capable of taking revenge but im not going to cause i believe in karma too much haha

Posted by CluelessCancer
He "thinks" but what does he "feel?"

Posted by scorpio24
this has been going on and off for the last 8-9 months. we have never broken up cause we both know that when we do thats IT. we have had good batches but then crap times like now aswell.
maybe it would help to read my most recent thread in virgo forum to understand what actually happened lastnight.
he said he doesnt want to break up with me cause he thinks he will regret it. :/

Posted by scorpio24
i dont think its the case of "finding someone better" some days everything i do irritates him but other days he seams to really enjoy my company. he is weird. and i think he doesnt know what he wants.
i am so sad i could just curl up in a ball right now and stay there forever

Posted by QUlETstorm

Posted by scorpio24

Maybe take a break from each other. You actually might find that you're a lot less stressed WITHOUT him around. Lol

well about a month ago he went away for 2 weeks inter state partying with his friends, i wanted him to have fun so i left him alone and let him do most of the iniating contact cause didnt want him to feel tied down! he ended up telling me how much he missed me and wished i was there too! which is BIG of him to do cause he never shows emotion much.
lastnight after our talk we decided to go on a "break" i have deactivated fb and even deleted his number for the time being. im going to try my absolute hardest to focus on myself for the next few days and be extremely productive! im so used to sleeping in his bed every night though so ill probably be very sad when bed time arrives. ohh. wish i could just get over him.

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Posted by tiziani
And others are right to point out that this isn't about what he wants. This should be about what you want. Throughout all your threads on this issue it's obvious what you want to believe in is that you are a loving person and a great girlfriend.
You may very well have many positive attributes about you and even how you write is quite adorable actually. But you disadvantage yourself by giving yourself way too much credit in the girlfriend and love department. So what if so far you have been a "great girlfriend" in other's eyes? You can take a break, be single and learn how to be a better one. That job is never done. You have found one form of love but are denying yourself the opportunity to find out an even greater plane of love through learning how to let go. The last stage of self-control is letting go. If you really want to be a caring person, doesn't that even tempt you (moreso than your fear of losing this relationship) to find out what that's all about? Think about it, because you need to stay true to your own personal individual motivations and what is important to you.

Posted by QUlETstorm
I understand. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years, have slept in his bed for 5 years, have shared meals and conversations for 5 years etc, so I am putting myself in your shoes right now and can practically FEEL that "achy" feeling that you feel, just imagining the disappointment & despair that you're feeling right now. It will definitely not be easy love, but you deserve more than that and you know this.
Just know that the sadness is only temporary. I know sometimes we can feel like he is the last man alive, and you might even feel like you'll never feel like this again. Sad to say, I have felt that A COUPLE times, LOL and that's why I say YOU WILL bounce back. I can't tell you how many times I felt like I could never replace someone, or I felt like I'd never find someone who could make me feel the way that man did.. which makes it all the harder to let go. But love has a way of always reappearing under new management! Lol Trust me when I say, you are young, and he won't be the last man to love you, in fact there will be someone who will love you better. We also hate "giving up" because when we want something or someone, we go hard and give it our all. When a relationship fails, we somehow feel like WE failed. Break-ups are ROUGH on a Scorp, but this is not the end.
I have gone through this before so I understand how tough it is on your heart. Just keep reminding yourself that it is only temporary anytime you feel yourself slipping into that panicky rut.

Posted by QUlETstorm
I also responded to your thread on the Virgo board with a personal story of my own that is similar to yours. Check that out when you get a chance, and best wishes to you, keep your head up.
I've got some reading to do before bed. Have a good night.

Posted by scorpio24
i dont think its the case of "finding someone better" some days everything i do irritates him but other days he seams to really enjoy my company. he is weird. and i think he doesnt know what he wants.
i am so sad i could just curl up in a ball right now and stay there forever

Posted by aNEWday

Posted by scorpio24
i dont think its the case of "finding someone better" some days everything i do irritates him but other days he seams to really enjoy my company. he is weird. and i think he doesnt know what he wants.
i am so sad i could just curl up in a ball right now and stay there forever

just saw this about finding someone better. It should not be all about what he wants, if he enjoys your company or if he is not weird one day and weird the other. It sounds like you want to prove that you could be good for him, but for what? Once that happens will you be happy, or will you be resentful and flip the switch on him?

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Posted by scorpio24
I agree with you RAYS HEART, but the thing is he is a virgo, alot of them are like this. they can and never will find someone PERFECT enough and will ALWAYS find something to critisize, but secretly they are even more critical of themselves although they dont show it, and hes exactly like that. 2 months ago he was critizing me about OTHER things.. like he "felt tied down" even though im so chill. so i chilled out even more, but now im "immature" lol. there is no winning with them they will always find something to pick on. but they dont necesarily do it to put people down, in their heads they are trying to help. it's really quite odd.
i said to him in our conversation that he will never find someone perfect, there will always be something negative, and thats why he should focus on the GOOD things, cause the ratio is about 10/2 on the positive and negative scale so why is he looking at the smaller things. it's not getting us anywhere. i also said he should focus on making himself better instead of constantly picking out my traits, cause although i too believe some work can be done on my behalf, overall i like the way i am. he didnt say anything...

Posted by MellyMel

Posted by AreTwoFour
It only applies to MALES in a romantic context, MM!
I have a virgo bestie since highschool, and I adore my virgo brother, but no way in hell would I want to be in his wife's shoes...

lol, I bet her shoes are elegant and kept immaculately clean, even if they are uncomfortable
and the females can be the same way. Just depends on the individual and the context. I'm quite comfortable with being a Virgo. I'm not complaining about them, and I know you aren't either. I just know how we can be sometimes, and it appears that you know too

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Posted by AreTwoFour
Without reading this ENTIRE thread, I will say as a scorp who was in a marriage with a virgo, it is impossible to articulate exactly why you feel you need to breakup. Virgos seem to have some kind of voodoo over scorps, maybe anyone who falls for them. They are hard to breakup with. All the flaws they point out, have a bit of truth in them, and a scorp has that desire to transform for the better. The problem is, that its never gonna be good enough. From my experience a virgo will turn you into another virgo. You will start worrying all the time. You spontaneity will disappear. You will lose your passion (because virgo thinks its illogical, and theyre correct) and you will become like they are. Then they get bored with you because you became boring to please them and they move on

Posted by AreTwoFour
Virgo logic is only logical to virgos...
And yes, everything that attracted them to you will be beaten out of you with a criticism whip.
Then I think they lose respect for you changing who you are to please them and it makes them feel sadistic toward you and want to tear you all the way down.
My taurus bestie handles her virguy by not giving a sh_it about pleasing him. It seems to work.. she doesn't care about being logical and she lets him know this. She SHUTS HIM DOWN with a quickness when he tries it. You cannot out-logic a virgo in any argument, they are in their element with that. She just doesn't go there with him, lol. So in hindsight, maybe I should have been that way?

Posted by MellyMel

Posted by AreTwoFour
Because she doesn't care about being logical, and she lets him know this. She SHUTS HIM DOWN with a quickness when he tries it. You cannot out-logic a virgo in any argument, they are in their element with that. She just doesn't go there with him, lol. So in hindsight, maybe I should have been that way?

When they(virgos) start in on the criticizing, just calmly put them in their place. Much in the manner described above.

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Posted by scorpio24

Posted by MellyMel

Posted by AreTwoFour
Because she doesn't care about being logical, and she lets him know this. She SHUTS HIM DOWN with a quickness when he tries it. You cannot out-logic a virgo in any argument, they are in their element with that. She just doesn't go there with him, lol. So in hindsight, maybe I should have been that way?

When they(virgos) start in on the criticizing, just calmly put them in their place. Much in the manner described above.

well the other night when he was saying the whole "you are immature because you dont know what u want to do with ur life career wise" i straight out said, "umm i dont know what i want to do yet, but it doesnt mean that i am not constantly stressing about it, i have been flat out looking into different career paths for the last 3 weeks on a daily basis and researching. just because i dont tell u every single thing i am doing in my life doesnt mean im not doing it" he then said "well how will u know what u like if u dont just do something, youve been researching for the last year" and i said "well i have done courses in the past which i didnt end up enjoying and it was a waste of thousands of dollars" he had nothing to say to this cause i think he knew i was right.
thats when i said "look, overall i am not perfect and i have things i personally need to work on, but so do you. i know that you are critical of youself even though you would NEVER admit it. but why dont u focus on yourself, and making yourself a better person coz the potential is there instead of constantly pointing out my negatives" again he had nothing to say.
it annoys me cause there is nothing really wrong with the relationship, we were the most PERFECT couple until he began being a WEIRDO and looking for things to critisize. seriously, i am 22. me not being sure what i want to do is the smallest issue ever, and thats all he has got. :/ apart from the fact that i cant "handle" him and get emotional easily.

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Posted by MellyMel

Posted by AreTwoFour
Because she doesn't care about being logical, and she lets him know this. She SHUTS HIM DOWN with a quickness when he tries it. You cannot out-logic a virgo in any argument, they are in their element with that. She just doesn't go there with him, lol. So in hindsight, maybe I should have been that way?

YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH with that whole "maybe I should have been that way?" Business!!! You shouldn't have been anything other than what you were because it made YOU who you are! Virgos reason and rationalize their way into and out of any given situation because that is how we are programmed (get it? Programmed? Like computers and such? ) Scorpios usually respond emotionally to situations because that's how THEY are programmed. There's no right way or wrong way, just different ways.
For me, as a Virgo, one of the biggest reasons for my "logical" approach and subsequent "criticism" is to try and get people to REALIZE what they are doing and why they are doing it. If I perceive someone I care about to be unconsciously stuck in a habitual, destructive behavior pattern, I will point it out. Not just point it out, but give specific examples of said behavior and interpretations of the same. Complete with dates, Times, and exact quotes of everything said and by whom it was said. Yes, it is incredibly obnoxious and comes across as completely critical and uncaring The thing is though, that a lot of people in my life ARE completely oblivious to their behavior patterns. Some of the more self absorbed, extroverted people/signs in my life genuinely have no idea what they are doing or how they are coming across until it's pointed out to them.
However, Scorpios as a rule do not fall into the "self absorbed, unaware" category. Because Scorpio motivations are primarily emotion based (as a general rule. Obviously not all of them), I can see how virgos might interpret their actions as "unconscious" and immediately begin "pointing them out" (aka criticizing them). When they(virgos) start in on the criticizing, just calmly put them in their place. Much in the manner described above.

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Posted by scorpio24
Also let me add... I work for the government which in aus is a VERY GOOD THING. I have been there for almost 3 years and am doing
Quite well, it's definetly not what I want to do for the rest of my life but the fact that I got into it without ANY formal qualifications is GOOD. So WHAT GIVES?!