Cancer (W) and Scorpio (M): He seems like he's moved on. any chance that could change?
This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by nimijd on Sunday, March 19, 2017 and has 4 replies.
So almost a year ago, I dated this guy for a few short months. we REALLY liked each other and everything was great until he started pulling away.
While we were dating/talking, He told me he never liked anyone like that before, how i was perfect to him, etc. then he got really cold and distant but even then he's friends would tell me that the way he talks about me is completely different to how distant he is toward me.
He traveled to Europe with friends during summer, but he would call/Facetime every week and regularly told me he missed me. He even bought me a gift from London.
We had a phone conversation before he left. He told me he has issues and tends to sabotage relationships. We talked about starting over when he returned. I joked that he would probably friend zone me when he comes back and he said he wouldn't and that "if i'm going to date anyone, i'm going to date you."
We had another conversation when he came back from Europe. I said i was upset because i didn't know what we were doing.. it seemed like we were in a limbo. He said he's just not ready to date because of issues he was dealing with. He wanted to be friends because he didn't want to lose me and I said no. I could tell from his voice that he was upset/hurt that i didn't want to be his friend or be there for him to deal with his issues. But i just couldn't.. I had already told him during another conversation that i had a hard time moving on if i stay friends with people I date.
during the next few months after that convo, things were tense between us. I didn't want to be friends with him but we had mutual friends so we all hang out a lot. I would usually just ignore him or be cold.
He was really mean/rude when we'd hang out. He made "jokes" about dropping/rejecting me and playing me like a fool. My guess is that this was his way of reacting to be hurt?
He told his friends that we only went out a couple of times and then he was done after that. But with all the things he said and did after our second date (some mentioned above), didn't seem like he was done.
this semester i decided to not be around them at all. Now we don't even say hi, sometimes make eye contact but rarely. He's dating someone now... i'm not sure if he genuinely likes her or if its just a casual thing. From what i've heard about her, she's more about the casual physical thing. but who knows? this could be different. They don't seem couple-y. from what i see, No PDA, no intimacy- not even hugging or just general closeness. I saw him hug her once and that was when i stood in front of him, facing them. and he hugged her while looking in my direction.
For the first time in 3 months, we spoke to each other. he made a comment about something i changed about my appearance and said that it looked good. his friends later joked about how bothered he was that i looked good (not sure if that's true).
Considering all this, is there any chance that he could still have any feelings for me? or has too much time passed? I think i screwed things up by cutting him off so quickly. Maybe things would have turned out different for us if i had just sucked it up and been his friend.
Everyone says when a scorpio is done, there's no going back. Is there any chance this Scorpio could come back?
While we were dating/talking, He told me he never liked anyone like that before, how i was perfect to him, etc. then he got really cold and distant but even then he's friends would tell me that the way he talks about me is completely different to how distant he is toward me.
He traveled to Europe with friends during summer, but he would call/Facetime every week and regularly told me he missed me. He even bought me a gift from London.
We had a phone conversation before he left. He told me he has issues and tends to sabotage relationships. We talked about starting over when he returned. I joked that he would probably friend zone me when he comes back and he said he wouldn't and that "if i'm going to date anyone, i'm going to date you."
We had another conversation when he came back from Europe. I said i was upset because i didn't know what we were doing.. it seemed like we were in a limbo. He said he's just not ready to date because of issues he was dealing with. He wanted to be friends because he didn't want to lose me and I said no. I could tell from his voice that he was upset/hurt that i didn't want to be his friend or be there for him to deal with his issues. But i just couldn't.. I had already told him during another conversation that i had a hard time moving on if i stay friends with people I date.
during the next few months after that convo, things were tense between us. I didn't want to be friends with him but we had mutual friends so we all hang out a lot. I would usually just ignore him or be cold.
He was really mean/rude when we'd hang out. He made "jokes" about dropping/rejecting me and playing me like a fool. My guess is that this was his way of reacting to be hurt?
He told his friends that we only went out a couple of times and then he was done after that. But with all the things he said and did after our second date (some mentioned above), didn't seem like he was done.
this semester i decided to not be around them at all. Now we don't even say hi, sometimes make eye contact but rarely. He's dating someone now... i'm not sure if he genuinely likes her or if its just a casual thing. From what i've heard about her, she's more about the casual physical thing. but who knows? this could be different. They don't seem couple-y. from what i see, No PDA, no intimacy- not even hugging or just general closeness. I saw him hug her once and that was when i stood in front of him, facing them. and he hugged her while looking in my direction.
For the first time in 3 months, we spoke to each other. he made a comment about something i changed about my appearance and said that it looked good. his friends later joked about how bothered he was that i looked good (not sure if that's true).
Considering all this, is there any chance that he could still have any feelings for me? or has too much time passed? I think i screwed things up by cutting him off so quickly. Maybe things would have turned out different for us if i had just sucked it up and been his friend.
Everyone says when a scorpio is done, there's no going back. Is there any chance this Scorpio could come back?
also during those past conversations, he told me secrets that according to him, he's never told anyone else. Isn't that usually an indication that a Scorpio really trusts and cares for a person?
Posted by Ellygant
He sounds like he wasn't in a position to offer you what you wanted at the time. So you shouldn't feel guilty for the way it panned out. If you can't be friends, you can't be friends. It was a bit selfish for him to keep asking that of you after you made it clear.
It sounds like there's definitely still an attraction there, maybe some feelings tied up as well. His reaction to downplaying y'all dating says as much. His pride was wounded. But that also shows he's still pretty immature. Granted, to be purposefully cold or rude to him in social settings was probably the harshest thing you could do lol. Scorpios, especially the less mature ones that haven't grown up enough, loathe being ignored and will lash out till they feel they have the upper hand again.
As long as he's seeing someone else and you remain at a distance he most likely won't come back, regardless of any lingering feelings or attraction. Especially since to him, you were the one who rejected him. If you still want a shot you would have to reach out in some way. Though that is high risk and you'd have to be ok with if he rejects you, which he very well might do if it's more serious with the new girl than it appears or if he takes it as an opportunity for payback. If you're ok with worst case though, the possibility he might want to genuinely pick up could still be there.
Thank you for your thorough response. I really appreciate it!
I don't think I have the courage to reach out to him. You're right that I was very harsh and i regret how I acted but I couldn't control it. It felt like he strung me along for months then just dropped me so I was angry and hurt. I didn't know how else to react.
I forgot to mention a couple of things. I was a virgin when we dated and he claimed that that was a lot of pressure for him and one of the reasons he started pulling away. Also I remember him saying that because he hadn't dated in a long time, he felt like he needs someone who has a lot of dating experience to lead him until he's used to dating again. and i didn't have that experience.
he hasn't had a girlfriend in 5 years and any girl he's dated only lasted about 3 months so I'm hoping that is the case with the new girl.
It's been frustrating because i replay every thing he's said to me to try to determine if he was telling the truth or if it was all a lie.
The downplaying happened a few months ago so maybe if he did have feelings then, he probably doesn't now. Assuming he no longer has any feelings for me, if we start talking and get closer at some point, could he develop those feelings again? If he feels like I rejected him then he must feel like I betrayed his trust and Scorpios have a hard time trusting people to begin with.
I say he was honest when he told you things but nothing is written in stone!
You had a chance to hold on to it and make it but you said no rondeiendship...
Like why if you like person to theropods so you posting about him after all these months...you couldn't be friends?
What did you want? Proposal?
You said no - so move on!
He is looking at you because he can SEE you are interested still but he is giving you a...sting probably!
First time I understood what Scorpio sting means just now. Thanks for the example and next time come to a party with someone. You will see! Lol
Good luck.
You had a chance to hold on to it and make it but you said no rondeiendship...
Like why if you like person to theropods so you posting about him after all these months...you couldn't be friends?
What did you want? Proposal?
You said no - so move on!
He is looking at you because he can SEE you are interested still but he is giving you a...sting probably!
First time I understood what Scorpio sting means just now. Thanks for the example and next time come to a party with someone. You will see! Lol
Good luck.
Related Topics
You can find a summary of my predicament and the composite/synastry charts here:
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=103689
Any help is appreciated
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