Confused and should I trust

So I was seeing a Scorpio earlier this year for 5 months who eventually told me he didn't want a relationship with me. When he told me this I accused him of trying to be fwb. He let me believe he rejected me so I left him alone. I've spent the last month trying to get over the situation. Once a week he would text asking me how I was or tell me he was reaching out. The last text was Sunday when I told him to stop and stick by his decision. I didn't want the confusion. Tonight he called me to tell me the truth.
He couldn't handle a relationship because of his finances. He said he loved me and he regret letting me go. He said he doesn't know how he let go of a good thing. He asked me to dinner tomorrow and I told him I'd think about it.

Truth is I'm scared. I don't want to be naive. I want to believe him because he hasn't lied to me yet but I'm afraid. I want to set boundaries if anything to restart our friendship then see what happens. Any thoughts?

If you like him then go but be clear with yourself and have boundaries you're comfortable with.

Everyone fucks up from time to time. Hear him out and judge what you see and hear. Remember to watch his actions and not listen so much to his words.

What's the worst that can happen? You have a dinner then he tries it on. You haven't lost anything. Oh and he can pay for dinner ‰

^^^ true.

The good things with these boards is it can offer a different perspective for you to consider. Only listening to yourself and your own view can be tunnel visioned and narrow minded. You don't need to accept everything that everyone says but being open minded and objective can be helpful. It's an extra tool that can be utilised along with talking to family or friends or a shrink. I've had some great discussions and learnt loads from some of the people on here. Equally, some people on here are just knob heads!

Liv, go to dinner, have a good time. Trust your gut and settle your thoughts. Don't assume it's going to go one way or the other.

Just have fun

Posted by livictori
So I was seeing a Scorpio earlier this year for 5 months who eventually told me he didn't want a relationship with me. When he told me this I accused him of trying to be fwb. He let me believe he rejected me so I left him alone. I've spent the last month trying to get over the situation. Once a week he would text asking me how I was or tell me he was reaching out. The last text was Sunday when I told him to stop and stick by his decision. I didn't want the confusion. Tonight he called me to tell me the truth.
He couldn't handle a relationship because of his finances. He said he loved me and he regret letting me go. He said he doesn't know how he let go of a good thing. He asked me to dinner tomorrow and I told him I'd think about it.

Truth is I'm scared. I don't want to be naive. I want to believe him because he hasn't lied to me yet but I'm afraid. I want to set boundaries if anything to restart our friendship then see what happens. Any thoughts?

See you with the "woe is me" b.s. next week. Like clockwork.

Posted by Rabbit
The only reason I ask is that this seems to be a common excuse given here for dudes not wanting relationships.

I was aware of part of it. He actually showed me stubs but as it got worse, he pulled away more. I didn't know the depth of it. AND I make more money than him. It bothered him a lot more than it bothered me.

Posted by LetltB

Posted by livictori
So I was seeing a Scorpio earlier this year for 5 months who eventually told me he didn't want a relationship with me. When he told me this I accused him of trying to be fwb. He let me believe he rejected me so I left him alone. I've spent the last month trying to get over the situation. Once a week he would text asking me how I was or tell me he was reaching out. The last text was Sunday when I told him to stop and stick by his decision. I didn't want the confusion. Tonight he called me to tell me the truth.
He couldn't handle a relationship because of his finances. He said he loved me and he regret letting me go. He said he doesn't know how he let go of a good thing. He asked me to dinner tomorrow and I told him I'd think about it.

Truth is I'm scared. I don't want to be naive. I want to believe him because he hasn't lied to me yet but I'm afraid. I want to set boundaries if anything to restart our friendship then see what happens. Any thoughts?

See you with the "woe is me" b.s. next week. Like clockwork.

click to expand

I still have time to return the wedding dress and cancel the DJ with 100% refund {sarcasm}

Any man that is weak enough to follow the shallow rules of the status quo society is not a man at all. He literally left you high and dry because of his own perception of himself. He wants you to be beneath him. When a woman is beneath a man in the relationship she is easier to control and abuse. He he saw that he couldn't do that to you and left.

Wasn't he dealing with another woman too? Why would you want a weak man like that? Is your self-esteem that low? Are you lonely? Reread the first paragraph of your OP. Why would you want someone like that? Keep in mind that men will say anything to stay in a woman's life.

Aww baby you know I was going through some things. You know how it is. I'm a changed man. Please take me back, baby. I swear I'll do better this time.

Yes he was talking to a woman on the phone while he was on vacation. He said that while he was texting her he regret not speaking to me.

I also know his current financial situation couldn't afford him to actually court her.
Thinking back he did say he was intimidated but that all boils down to his self esteem issue and money. But I don't know how men think and the way he feels about himself is evident.
I just can see clearly

So he's pretty much a nice, charming broke nigga right?

Posted by livictori
So I was seeing a Scorpio earlier this year for 5 months who eventually told me he didn't want a relationship with me. When he told me this I accused him of trying to be fwb. He let me believe he rejected me so I left him alone. I've spent the last month trying to get over the situation. Once a week he would text asking me how I was or tell me he was reaching out. The last text was Sunday when I told him to stop and stick by his decision. I didn't want the confusion. Tonight he called me to tell me the truth.
He couldn't handle a relationship because of his finances. He said he loved me and he regret letting me go. He said he doesn't know how he let go of a good thing. He asked me to dinner tomorrow and I told him I'd think about it.

Truth is I'm scared. I don't want to be naive. I want to believe him because he hasn't lied to me yet but I'm afraid. I want to set boundaries if anything to restart our friendship then see what happens. Any thoughts?

I am a little confused by the "naïve" piece, but no matter. Simply don't go heart first ready to "try" again. Be clear about what you want (friendship vs relationship) and you stick by your own words (aka boundaries). Don't go into this saying you want friendship and then start dropping your draws. You can not rely on someone else to keep you straight. Scorps will test your resolve. If his words appear to be consistent with his actions, you can decide to proceed from there and when you're ready to move to the next stage.

Make sure you TALK to the man as feelings(on both sides) change and you see the relationship progressing to something more. None of this mindreading BS water signs are known for. Generally, yes we can pick up each other's vibe and move with the flow, but your history with him may create a situation where things get lost in translation.

Good luck.

I hate it when there's only a small part of the story.

So he was talking to some other girl but then says he wished he was talking to you or whatever. It all sounds a bit fucked up and certainly there's more to this decision of going to dinner with him. He doesn't sound like a great catch.

Posted by AgentP911
I hate it when there's only a small part of the story.

So he was talking to some other girl but then says he wished he was talking to you or whatever. It all sounds a bit fucked up and certainly there's more to this decision of going to dinner with him. He doesn't sound like a great catch.

The story is long and convoluted. We've haven't seen each other in 2 months and officially ended about a month.

Broke men
Ugh.

No...hell no...nope...no way jose....

Broke men need to spend time alone figuring out how to seek a career that allows for financial mobility

Did I say no!!!! Lolol

Posted by balblair
Broke men
Ugh.

No...hell no...nope...no way jose....

Broke men need to spend time alone figuring out how to seek a career that allows for financial mobility

Did I say no!!!! Lolol

Maybe I'm naive or silly. But I have been courted by men with lots of money and it didn't mean anything.

Granted, I myself being self sufficient, it's easy to say. I wholly understand how it could effect ones self esteem when they can't take care of themselves. Especially if one is a man and wants to take care of a woman. All I'm saying is money is not a great assessor of character. It will come and it will go. I'm not hanging out at homeless shelters picking up men.