Decoding male scorp behavior

We are going on almost a year of a ?casual? relationship. I say casual meaning, I haven't met his family, he hasn't met mine, we haven't been on a proper date, etc.

He calls on a pretty consistent basis (we touch base about every week or two). He called at 2am while I was out of town on vacation (not knowing I was out of town). I called the next day and we talked, had great conversation, everything was great so I asked why he calls drunk so often. He said he only gets the nerve to call when he has been drinking.

I really like him and I have told him so. I have also told him that I am not quite ready for anything too serious (I got out of a 8 year relationship about a year ago and I have a daughter). He has also said that he enjoys the bachelor life right now.

Do scorp men generally wait quite a while before taking things to the next level? Do they tend to wait for the girl to make the move or give the go?

You know... Scorps either really want you or they don't. If he had wanted you, he would have been coming on strong already to take it to the next level.

Sounds like you got a casual relationship with a guy who is interested in a casual relationship only. Moving those to the next level seems like a lost cause.

Bummer. I had a feeling that was the case.

If he felt it was a "lost cause", why would he continue to contact me? I ask because if I am not feeling it for someone, I run the other way and don't look back.

This is not really about respect. It's about the fact that neither of you wanted anything serious to begin with. Hence, you were on the same wavelength in terms of expectations. Why wouldn't he call you?

Now, you're ready for something serious. And he's probably not. Time to move on.

As for "lost cause," imagine you're with a hot guy who you see no future with. Enjoying the current moment with said hot guy is not a lost cause. Planning the future with hot guy is a lost cause.

Wow, you certainly don't candy coat anything🙂

Well...I decided that I wasn't going to sleep with him again until we established a more mature relationship (that was three months ago). We still have great conversation and he hasn't stop connecting with me. I assume if it was just s** he was looking for and wasn't getting it any longer, he would have hit the road by now. Thoughts?

Hard to say really without more information.

Could be a lot of things. Could be contacting you is not a major strain on his time. Could be he thinks there's a chance you want to resume a casual relationship. Could be he likes you as a friend and realizes the sex thing is over with. Could be he's a horny dude who hasn't found another woman willing to be in just a casual relationship.

Yikes!
How old are you scorpion_rising??

"How old are you scorpion_rising??"

Please read my profile for more answers.

I wasn't trying to be rude.

I said yikes because I fear the reason may lie in your last sentence. I asked your age because your wit is an awful lot like his.

Scorpio-rising isn't being immature. He's being real. As much as some people don't like to face the truth there really are men out there who will keep a woman on speed dial and sweet talk them in hopes of getting some. Or getting more.

You know what they say about us. When we want you in that way, you will know it.

Ain't dat da truth, baby!

I only see him or even take his calls when my daughter is with her father. I would NEVER bring her into that. The writing is on the wall and I guess I chose to ignore it. I was in a bad relationship with her dad for a long time and formed very negative opinions of men. I guess I just needed something, even if it was only physical. Sad, I know.

Latinaindia: When you say "types" of men, do you mean someone other than a scorpio?

"I absolutely disagree with this statement. It's typical scorpio male bullshit in fact. A scorpio man will never make the first move until he is utterly convinced that he won't get rejected OR that there are no complications on a practical level that would make it difficult to pursue a relationship."

I'm drawing a distinction between someone a Scorpio man truly wants versus someone he thinks would be alright.

Ask QS.

I was abused as a teen from a neighbor/friends dad. Since then, I have always been with men who treat women very bad. I guess, it is my way of proving to myself that men are jerks. I know that sounds crazy but although I'd like to think I have moved past the abuse, I think I still need to find myself and what I truly deserve.

don't let them scary you here 😉 i posted a similar threads a while ago. click on my other posts and it'll give you links. good luck! what sign are you btw?

ooooooooh my godddddddd


i can't do this. i can't take it!

2 cents.......

Mata Hari might'a got it right. I know personally, even if I really want a person, if they told me they didn't want something serious, I would fall back and respect their wishes.

As a scorpio male, my love interest would have to give me something to go on in order for me to give it my all and not fear a possible rejection.

The original poster was interested in a casual relationship, so what she got from him was his version of a casual relationship. If she wanted something serious, she should have said so.

***I'm drawing a distinction between someone a Scorpio man truly wants versus someone he thinks would be alright.

Ask QS.***

Okay, okay... SR is right! LOL!!! If he wants you he will persue you to no end EVEN when there are circumstances that don't look good for a long term relationship. Even when you suggest only being friends. He will persue you to death if he REALLY wants you period!

However I am a little confused here as I agree with TA, you said you only wanted a casual relationship and that is all he wants so why are you now asking about something serious. Casual is booty call or get together whenever the other is available and yes in my casual relationships even I require some hanging out and doing some other things besides shagging. However this doesn't mean the same to some or maybe most casual relationships. So he got involved with you on the assumption of a casual thing and even though if his feelings changed during this process he will began to tell you he loves you tell you all about his personal life, exes, kids, parents, job, friends and he will want to know everything about you. Even too much to the extent of snooping.... LOL!!!

There is nothing wrong with being in a casual relationship if that is where each involved party is in their life at that point. It has nothing to do with respect either it is an adult choice, however, people should be honest with themselves and the involved party if that is what they truly want and when their desires for something more serious arise. LET IT BE KNOWN. If he wants you he will still chase you after your desires have changed from his.

mgf...READ and fully understand what Mata Hari has written. She's got it right.
Based on what you've written...your scorp doesnt just want a booty call.

Then follow it up with what TowardAscension has written. You need to understand the underlying psychology.

Scorps are full of shit and talk a lot of shit (mind my french) at the start of any love relationship and ONLY when they know for certain that they will not get rejected is when they come full swing and literally blow your mind.

I think anyone would agree that finding someone you really want/like is pretty tough. So in the interim, what do you do? Do you just not date and live life solo or just with a few close friends?

I don't mean to imply that a Scorpio is going to come on heavy on a girl right away. But unlike TA, I would most definitely flirt and try to establish contact with someone who attracted me as opposed to just sitting back and waiting.

You have all been very helpful, thank you!

I am a sag btw, not sure if that matters.

So...he called out of the blue last night asking me to come over. It's my week with my daughter so I wasn't able to. I have a birthday party for a male friend on Friday and the entire bar was rented out for this party. I invited him but he said he had plans with some buddies. I said, no problem. If you change your mind, feel free to come by and your friends are welcome too. He said that he didn't want to bring his friends along because they are really good looking (well he said sexy) and that he didn't want me to flirt with them. I would never do something like that and I think he knows that. My guess is it's his friends he doesn't trust. I have NEVER flirted with anyone, let alone his friends, in front of him. I am social but not flirty at all.

A little bit more on the background: he has told me a lot about his childhood and family. I have not met them though. He tolds them in very high regard. I would not be surprised if he has ever taken a girl home (he is 28). He has also mentioned that he has been hurt in the past, no details and that in his past relationships he has never been "in love".

"You know... Scorps either really want you or they don't. If he had wanted you, he would have been coming on strong already to take it to the next level."

This is true. I would go with SR..the Scorp Jedi Master on this one, MGF. He knows whereof he speaks. 😉

"regardless, it is true that it is infact very difficult to not know when they are really into you regardless what they say. you can even say the pain on their face."

Absolutely. Don't fall into his trap again MGF. He's apparently on a using spree. They're difficult to say no to, but you'll be much better off.

***Scorps are full of butter and talk a lot of butter (mind my french) at the start of any love relationship and ONLY when they know for certain that they will not get rejected is when they come full swing and literally blow your mind.***


Hmmm, not in my experience, they just seemed to know at the point of meeting. Although started casual he got stronger and more intense to a point of not letting go BECAUSE HE IS INTERESTED.

***That's interesting actually. Can I ask if a scorpio man would actually bother at all with someone he thinks would be 'alright'? ***

Uh, I think most men are capable of this not just scorps.


***She only put out the casual vibe and got what she wanted, on his terms. In fact, if a woman puts out this vibe to a scorpio man, I'm not convinced he would find that at all attractive which would reinforce his 'casual' view of her perhaps.***


I guess it depends on the woman, because this happened to me, the scorp I am speaking of have repeatedly told me I am wife material and that I am too good for him from time to time, which if you look at it from a certain angle I could see where he gets it from. Anyway although we have decided to be friends he refuses to let me go and says I have become a part of him, asking me to go on trips, telling me everything about anything etc.

Woman (to self): "Is this good enough for me? Do I even CARE?

- continues on, doesn't care that this person does not have the courage nor the integrity to call/see her during the daytimes or when sober or when just wants to have a good time. Doesn't mind that they only seem to meet up intermittently. Gets on with her life.

Slowly just stops seeing him, if that's how things go, continues talking to him, but in due time, with a fulfilling life, doesn't see the point of talking to him either, and decides her own satiation point.