(F) Virgo - (M) Scorpio
This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by Walkergrl on Thursday, August 4, 2016 and has 54 replies.
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I'm seeking insight from you Scorps...
I met a Scorpio on a dating website early in July. I was drawn in by the fact that he talked to me like a person instead of a creepy dude like a lot do with me for some reason and I don't respond to those types. We chatted for a couple of days then he asked me to meet him. We met and I enjoyed his company. We met again the next night and pretty much were inseparable for 3 weeks. Several times I asked him if it was too fast too soon. He seemed comfortable with how things were. In fact, I was taken back by some of the things he said, (seemingly planning our future). He wanted to meet my son which I told him that would have to happen on my son's terms... I've been divorced for 8 years and have not dated during this time. I chose to raise my son and be present for him but now my soul has been awakened and I've realized that I want more with this guy. Last time I saw him was at my house. Dinner and movies, he asked me if I was happy, my response was, "yes, I am". I've always been direct and honest with people which I'm sure freaks people out but I thought things were good. I did think it was odd when he asked me about my phone and how there seemed to be a lot of activity on it. I just told him, I don't turn it off when my son is not with me. He wanted to know if I was still on the dating site. I told him I was but had removed my pictures. He then wanted to know if I was still getting messages, I said yes but that I'm not responding to them because I'm not interested at this time. I asked him if he's talking to anyone on the site, he said he wasn't. I told him that I was looking for exclusivity and a monogamous sexual relationship. I told him that if he was still looking around, I would continue to look myself. He said he didn't want that. Which I was pleased to hear. Anyway... that's the last time I've seen him and the dynamic has changed. It's confused me. I went away for the weekend to my girlfriend's and was texting him, letting him know that I missed him... He's made excuses not to see me, isn't texting me like he had been. I feel like I've done something wrong. Help. I really, really like this guy and want to make it work. I know as a Virgo I over analyze things. Is that the case here??? Should I just chill out? I feel like the harder I try the clingier I must sound and I hate it! I don't do well with passive/agressive. Any input would be appreciated.
I met a Scorpio on a dating website early in July. I was drawn in by the fact that he talked to me like a person instead of a creepy dude like a lot do with me for some reason and I don't respond to those types. We chatted for a couple of days then he asked me to meet him. We met and I enjoyed his company. We met again the next night and pretty much were inseparable for 3 weeks. Several times I asked him if it was too fast too soon. He seemed comfortable with how things were. In fact, I was taken back by some of the things he said, (seemingly planning our future). He wanted to meet my son which I told him that would have to happen on my son's terms... I've been divorced for 8 years and have not dated during this time. I chose to raise my son and be present for him but now my soul has been awakened and I've realized that I want more with this guy. Last time I saw him was at my house. Dinner and movies, he asked me if I was happy, my response was, "yes, I am". I've always been direct and honest with people which I'm sure freaks people out but I thought things were good. I did think it was odd when he asked me about my phone and how there seemed to be a lot of activity on it. I just told him, I don't turn it off when my son is not with me. He wanted to know if I was still on the dating site. I told him I was but had removed my pictures. He then wanted to know if I was still getting messages, I said yes but that I'm not responding to them because I'm not interested at this time. I asked him if he's talking to anyone on the site, he said he wasn't. I told him that I was looking for exclusivity and a monogamous sexual relationship. I told him that if he was still looking around, I would continue to look myself. He said he didn't want that. Which I was pleased to hear. Anyway... that's the last time I've seen him and the dynamic has changed. It's confused me. I went away for the weekend to my girlfriend's and was texting him, letting him know that I missed him... He's made excuses not to see me, isn't texting me like he had been. I feel like I've done something wrong. Help. I really, really like this guy and want to make it work. I know as a Virgo I over analyze things. Is that the case here??? Should I just chill out? I feel like the harder I try the clingier I must sound and I hate it! I don't do well with passive/agressive. Any input would be appreciated.
I should add... I've never dated a Scorpio before.
Posted by Walkergrli am not a scorp but i am still here
I'm seeking insight from you Scorps...
He wanted to know if I was still on the dating site. I told him I was . He then wanted to know if I was still getting messages, I said yes
I asked him if he's talking to anyone on the site, he said he wasn't.
I told him that if he was still looking around, I would continue to look myself. He said he didn't want that.
you see what i have quoted above?
seems like he is very much into you but he didn't really find the same vibes from you...
If i were a guy and my girl told me that is she is still on the dating site still getting messages still would look around for other guys...i would have assumed that she is keeping her options open...proves she is not into me
i maybe wrong but reading your thread this is what came on my mind...maybe try meet him later ans sort things out
Posted by newloveQFT. You said you were looking for exclusivity.....but you still have your dating apps installed?Posted by Walkergrli am not a scorp but i am still here
I'm seeking insight from you Scorps...
He wanted to know if I was still on the dating site. I told him I was . He then wanted to know if I was still getting messages, I said yes
I asked him if he's talking to anyone on the site, he said he wasn't.
I told him that if he was still looking around, I would continue to look myself. He said he didn't want that.
you see what i have quoted above?
seems like he is very much into you but he didn't really find the same vibes from you...
If i were a guy and my girl told me that is she is still on the dating site still getting messages still would look around for other guys...i would have assumed that she is keeping her options open...proves she is not into me
i maybe wrong but reading your thread this is what came on my mind...maybe try meet him later ans sort things outclick to expand
I was up front in the beginning when he asked me what I was looking for. My response..."Looking for someone to have fun with, who understands the constraints of a single parent's schedule. Someone who is interested in a monogamous sexual relationship. I have no interest in marriage."
It was so hot and heavy and all of it opened up this part of me that I've kept under lock and key. I've changed my mind. I want the relationship.
It was so hot and heavy and all of it opened up this part of me that I've kept under lock and key. I've changed my mind. I want the relationship.
He does. He's a 'young' grandfather and clearly values his family.
Dating apps and social media, man.
They are like kryptonite to happy relationships these days.
They are like kryptonite to happy relationships these days.
Ovbviously I'm clueless. At what point do you determine that the relationship is moving into exclusivity and just remove yourself from the site. I have to point out... he's still on there himself.
Reverse the situation and consider how you would feel.
Would you feel comfortable of his dating app profile was still active? If he told you he wasn't answering messages because he wasn't interested "at this time"?
I mean for Christ's sake, you're giving every indication that you're ready to bolt at any time.
Would you feel comfortable of his dating app profile was still active? If he told you he wasn't answering messages because he wasn't interested "at this time"?
I mean for Christ's sake, you're giving every indication that you're ready to bolt at any time.
Honestly the preoccupation with this dating app (for both of you) is a red flag. I doubt there's a solid foundation of trust you two can build off of.
None of this, BTW is to imply you are wrong and he is right or vice versa.
It's simply that you both have differing visions of where the relationship is.
It's simply that you both have differing visions of where the relationship is.
Posted by WalkergrlI would just own that shit like a boss and see what happens. Now that you want the relationship, you arn't going to be happy in the current situation. So go over again, what your new hopes are to take this thing.
I was up front in the beginning when he asked me what I was looking for. My response..."Looking for someone to have fun with, who understands the constraints of a single parent's schedule. Someone who is interested in a monogamous sexual relationship. I have no interest in marriage."
It was so hot and heavy and all of it opened up this part of me that I've kept under lock and key. I've changed my mind. I want the relationship.
THEN DELETE YOUR DATING APP IN FRONT OF HIM =p.
Posted by Gennie^^^^ This.Posted by WalkergrlI would just own that shit like a boss and see what happens. Now that you want the relationship, you arn't going to be happy in the current situation. So go over again, what your new hopes are to take this thing.
I was up front in the beginning when he asked me what I was looking for. My response..."Looking for someone to have fun with, who understands the constraints of a single parent's schedule. Someone who is interested in a monogamous sexual relationship. I have no interest in marriage."
It was so hot and heavy and all of it opened up this part of me that I've kept under lock and key. I've changed my mind. I want the relationship.
THEN DELETE YOUR DATING APP IN FRONT OF HIM =p.click to expand
Getting all angry while you're doing that that jumping him for some angry makeup sex would seal the deal.
I've asked him to meet me to relax and talk. Again, not ever having experienced a Scorpio, I'm just looking for insight. Certainly not looking to be judged. So, yes, we're both on a dating app. And yes, our profiles are still active. Is that what I want? I don't. And with that being said, I don't have the experience behind dating. It's been 11 years for God's sake. I've fallen pretty hard for this guy and just want to figure out how to get back on track with him.
As scorpio, I think he is distancing himself to figure out if he wants to move forward, because if he does…he's probably gonna get serious. I've done that before, especially when its going very well, all the vibes are right, and things seems like the are coming together perfectly…I get very excited and scared because I will dive right in, HEAD FIRST! So I have to pump my brakes, create some distance, assess if this person is worthy of/can handle of all this crazy/beautiful scorpioness they are about to get. And if the answer is yes, he'll come back around full throttle! I would say don't worry too much, but make it clear that you are ready move forward with him.
angry makeup sex would seal the deal.
^^^^^ I'm all over some angry makeup sex.
Scorpio Venus strikes again!!
Girl, if he's young and divorced (in any sense of the word - doesn't necessarily mean an actual marriage) then this is going to be par for the course for awhile.
Girl, if he's young and divorced (in any sense of the word - doesn't necessarily mean an actual marriage) then this is going to be par for the course for awhile.
This is clearly a situation in which Occam's Razor applies.
There were no problems until the topic of the dating app came up.
Problems started after the dating app came up.
Hence, remove the dating app from the situation.
Every possible explanation or justification for his behavior outside of that ^^^^ right there (short of an actual explanation on his part) is simply assumption on the part of everyone else..and the more assumptions you need to make to come to your conclusion takes you further from the truth.
There were no problems until the topic of the dating app came up.
Problems started after the dating app came up.
Hence, remove the dating app from the situation.
Every possible explanation or justification for his behavior outside of that ^^^^ right there (short of an actual explanation on his part) is simply assumption on the part of everyone else..and the more assumptions you need to make to come to your conclusion takes you further from the truth.
Thank God I dodged the Virgo bullet.
Oh.
Shit...wait....
Oh.
Shit...wait....
Posted by GetMistedHave you two done the deed yet?Posted by Walkergrl^^^^^ I'm all over some angry makeup sex.
angry makeup sex would seal the deal.click to expand
And that makes a difference how???
Posted by GetMistedWhy wouldn't it?Posted by WalkergrlAnd that makes a difference how???Posted by GetMistedHave you two done the deed yet?Posted by WalkergrlI'm all over some angry makeup sex.
angry makeup sex would seal the deal.click to expand
We're very compatible that way.
You say he has kids, so I'm assuming there's an ex. How long has his ex been an ex?
ve had me here:Posted by WalkergrlAnd then lost me here:
I told him that I was looking for exclusivity and a monogamous sexual relationship.Posted by Walkergrl
I told him that if he was still looking around, I would continue to look myself.
Virgos talk too much for their own good....Posted by Walkergrl
Should I just chill out?click to expand
Yes.
PS. Put a d*mn paragraph break every once in a while when you post...
Posted by Andalusia
You say he has kids, so I'm assuming there's an ex. How long has his ex been an ex?
He was married for 20, divorced for 4. I know it still bothers him even though both have moved on.
Posted by Walkergrl
I want the relationship.
You should have ended the convo you two had with this^^^ not the nonsense about still looking if he is.
"I'm not gonna tell you what to do or even ask you if you're still dating anyone right now. You still need to sort that out, and hopefully you will soon enough. I'm focused on you and only you. That's what works best for me so that I can say I put my best foot forward and gave it my all if things don't work out..."
^^^That right there made it easy for me to decide. Most Scorps like to know they are possibly attaching themselves to someone that is just as sure and confident as they are. He didn't ask about your profile still being up just to make conversation.
While 3 weeks is a little soon to know for sure where you're heading, it isn't so early that you wouldn't have some indication of what you want.
You claimed you want exclusivity, yet still have your profile up and not responding to messages...right. No one would believe that you're just keeping it up for sh*ts and giggles, especially if you don't have a profile pic up.
Anyway, sit the man down and tell him what you want without the wishy washy "I will, if you will" approach. It comes off as weak and unsure. Sensitive signs don't do "unsure".
Posted by Quantum
This is clearly a situation in which Occam's Razor applies.
There were no problems until the topic of the dating app came up.
Problems started after the dating app came up.
Hence, remove the dating app from the situation.
Hmph. He was a bit passive about it though. From the moment he made the comment about her phone being active he was fishing...should have just came clean about what he wanted.
Posted by WalkergrlOh. Nevermind. Disregard what I said and listen to Phoenix.Posted by Andalusia
You say he has kids, so I'm assuming there's an ex. How long has his ex been an ex?
He was married for 20, divorced for 4. I know it still bothers him even though both have moved on.click to expand
Posted by PhoenixRisingOk.Posted by Quantum
This is clearly a situation in which Occam's Razor applies.
There were no problems until the topic of the dating app came up.
Problems started after the dating app came up.
Hence, remove the dating app from the situation.
Hmph. He was a bit passive about it though. From the moment he made the comment about her phone being active he was fishing...should have just came clean about what he wanted.click to expand
Virgos talk too much for their own good....
Hmph. He was a bit passive about it though. From the moment he made the comment about her phone being active he was fishing...should have just came clean about what he wanted.
*Yes. We do. We're communicators. And this ^^^^ , You're right, I don't do vague well.
Hmph. He was a bit passive about it though. From the moment he made the comment about her phone being active he was fishing...should have just came clean about what he wanted.
*Yes. We do. We're communicators. And this ^^^^ , You're right, I don't do vague well.
Posted by ReincarnationIDK man... "Ball and Chain" isn't PC.Posted by Quantum
Thank God I dodged the Virgo bullet.
Oh.
Shit...wait....
Lol.
You should listen to what Quantum says more than anyone else on here. His ball and chain is a Virgal.click to expand
You might trigger someone.
Posted by WalkergrlSo would you rather have him come out and essentially accused you of still being active on the dating app without knowing all the facts?
Virgos talk too much for their own good....
Hmph. He was a bit passive about it though. From the moment he made the comment about her phone being active he was fishing...should have just came clean about what he wanted.
*Yes. We do. We're communicators. And this ^^^^ , You're right, I don't do vague well.
Would you rather have him be cautious or tactless?
Posted by QuantumPosted by WalkergrlSo would you rather have him come out and essentially accused you of still being active on the dating app without knowing all the facts?
Virgos talk too much for their own good....
Hmph. He was a bit passive about it though. From the moment he made the comment about her phone being active he was fishing...should have just came clean about what he wanted.
*Yes. We do. We're communicators. And this ^^^^ , You're right, I don't do vague well.
Would you rather have him be cautious or tactless?click to expand
That actually wasn't my point.
I didnt know asking questions to make an informed decision was "fishing".
Jesus lol.
It was exactly your point.
You retreated to the tired stereotype of the passive aggressive Scorpio male and assumed he was suspicious and "fishing" in regards to the dating app from the beginning.
It's all right there in your post. Unless you've left out and entire paragraph explaining how the first paragraph didn't mean what is says.
You retreated to the tired stereotype of the passive aggressive Scorpio male and assumed he was suspicious and "fishing" in regards to the dating app from the beginning.
It's all right there in your post. Unless you've left out and entire paragraph explaining how the first paragraph didn't mean what is says.
Good grief!
I just need him to be straight forward with me. He's met my circle of friends.He wanted to meet my son. I don't take any of these things lightly .
I just need him to be straight forward with me. He's met my circle of friends.He wanted to meet my son. I don't take any of these things lightly .
Posted by Quantum
It was exactly your point.
You retreated to the tired stereotype of the passive aggressive Scorpio male and assumed he was suspicious and "fishing" in regards to the dating app from the beginning.
It's all right there in your post. Unless you've left out and entire paragraph explaining how the first paragraph didn't mean what is says.
Actually no it isn't. You wrote this:
Posted by QuantumI read this as being directed towards her removing the object causing the issue out of the equation. He could have done the same. To some degree he knew that he wanted more, otherwise he wouldn't have raised the subject. So if he knew he wanted more, why pussy foot around the subject by seeing where she's at first, yet she being faulted for doing the same. She was actually directed to do this:
This is clearly a situation in which Occam's Razor applies.
There were no problems until the topic of the dating app came up.
Problems started after the dating app came up.
Hence, remove the dating app from the situation.
Posted by QuantumPosted by Gennie^^^^ This.
I would just own that shit like a boss and see what happens. Now that you want the relationship, you arn't going to be happy in the current situation. So go over again, what your new hopes are to take this thing.
THEN DELETE YOUR DATING APP IN FRONT OF HIM =p.
Getting all angry while you're doing that that jumping him for some angry makeup sex would seal the deal.click to expand
So she should take charge and let it be known she's all in, but he can sit back and test the waters? Especially since he raised the subject? That was my point.
Not "passive aggressive". All passive. On both fronts.
Posted by PhoenixRisingYeah...I apologize. I just finished my burrito and got what you were implying. My bad. I was wondering who killed the old PR and replaced her with an idiot for a second then realized I was being the too-literal idiot.Posted by Quantum
It was exactly your point.
You retreated to the tired stereotype of the passive aggressive Scorpio male and assumed he was suspicious and "fishing" in regards to the dating app from the beginning.
It's all right there in your post. Unless you've left out and entire paragraph explaining how the first paragraph didn't mean what is says.
Actually no it isn't. You wrote this:Posted by QuantumI read this as being directed towards her removing the object causing the issue out of the equation. He could have done the same. To some degree he knew that he wanted more, otherwise he wouldn't have raised the subject. So if he knew he wanted more, why pussy foot around the subject by seeing where she's at first, yet she being faulted for doing the same. She was actually directed to do this:
This is clearly a situation in which Occam's Razor applies.
There were no problems until the topic of the dating app came up.
Problems started after the dating app came up.
Hence, remove the dating app from the situation.Posted by QuantumPosted by Gennie^^^^ This.
I would just own that shit like a boss and see what happens. Now that you want the relationship, you arn't going to be happy in the current situation. So go over again, what your new hopes are to take this thing.
THEN DELETE YOUR DATING APP IN FRONT OF HIM =p.
Getting all angry while you're doing that that jumping him for some angry makeup sex would seal the deal.
So she should take charge at let it be known she's all in, but he can sit back and test the waters? Especially since he raised the subject? That was my point.
Not "passive aggressive". All passive. On both fronts.click to expand
My non-linear and abstract thinking skills are bad this week, what with all the cold meds and this Zika virus I caught in Michigan.
Posted by MIIeFiskYeah because that Capink guy is a ray of loving sunshine.
He just needs to get his shit together. This fishing around is going to create paranoia in his head if your response isnt to his liking.
LESSON: Get yourself a hot ass Capricorn man.
Ok, so the latest in this.... saga.
Early afternoon he's all for meeting up and talking.
It's after 7pm. Not a word from the guy. All I asked was when and where.
Early afternoon he's all for meeting up and talking.
It's after 7pm. Not a word from the guy. All I asked was when and where.
Ugh.
What an asshole.
What an asshole.
Posted by WalkergrlWhat's his chart?
Ok, so the latest in this.... saga.
Early afternoon he's all for meeting up and talking.
It's after 7pm. Not a word from the guy. All I asked was when and where.
If I had to guess, I'd say he's trying to get a reaction to gauge where you stand. I bet the moment you show strong emotion is the moment he responds in force.
Stop texting.. Stop calling.. Then when he do text you, (if he likes you, he will) act like everything is all good and you don't miss him.. He'll be right back at ya door step.. Works every time with my Scorpio bf.. Confidence will get you far in this situation.. I know virgos have a weird addiction to Scorpios lol.. But you can do it. Put ya feet down!!
Yeah well, my strong emotion at the moment is to show up at his place. Dude is making me feel crazy.
Posted by WalkergrlYou can do that but all you'll get is hot sex lol...
Yeah well, my strong emotion at the moment is to show up at his place. Dude is making me feel crazy.
You shouldn't have to deal with game playing and tests.
Posted by MIIeFiskI bet he pays for knees to the groin.Posted by QuantumHe's just misunderstood and needs a hug. And a knee to the groin.Posted by MIIeFiskYeah because that Capink guy is a ray of loving sunshine.
He just needs to get his shit together. This fishing around is going to create paranoia in his head if your response isnt to his liking.
LESSON: Get yourself a hot ass Capricorn man.click to expand
Hell, I only have a Cap rising and *I* would hate *me*.
Posted by GetMistedI was thinking the same. Anything she gets at this point is likely scraps.Posted by WalkergrlHe's done.
Ok, so the latest in this.... saga.
Early afternoon he's all for meeting up and talking.
It's after 7pm. Not a word from the guy. All I asked was when and where.click to expand
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