gko
@gko
17 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 40 · Topics: 5
heartbroken...
***i think i was more depressed than happy in this relationship, being afraid of the future and just compairng myself to his ex's and all.. ***
This doesn't sound good at all. If he was making you feel insecure verbally or comparing you to exes etc. Then no, don't get back together with him. Love should be easy not hard, depressing and complicated where it physicaly affects us. What sign are you? It is hard letting them go though. But the right thing FOR YOU is what is important and deep down inside we all know what it is.
This doesn't sound good at all. If he was making you feel insecure verbally or comparing you to exes etc. Then no, don't get back together with him. Love should be easy not hard, depressing and complicated where it physicaly affects us. What sign are you? It is hard letting them go though. But the right thing FOR YOU is what is important and deep down inside we all know what it is.
GKO, read the thread below about dealing with passive/aggressive people. Particularly the part on "gaslighting". Many Scorp men are masters at this game of manipulation. Also, making you feel inferior makes it easier for them to keep you under control, but yes, it can drive you nearly insane.
If you go back, it will be the same shit all over again. Someone who loves you would never try to make you feel bad about yourself. Ditch his a $ $ and find a good one. He'll come after you, though, when you don't contact him when you said you would, and you'll have to be strong enough to either completely ignore him, or tell him it's over.
I would completely ignore. Much easier. Once they start the smooth-talkin' it gets tougher.
If you go back, it will be the same shit all over again. Someone who loves you would never try to make you feel bad about yourself. Ditch his a $ $ and find a good one. He'll come after you, though, when you don't contact him when you said you would, and you'll have to be strong enough to either completely ignore him, or tell him it's over.
I would completely ignore. Much easier. Once they start the smooth-talkin' it gets tougher.
thanks for the advice guys.. but i feel that it is majorly my fault that i feel this way. he hasnt really done anythin to make me question, i just feel like im not good enough, pretty enough, etc. for him.. and that makes me feel insecure. he rarely talks about his ex's, i dig it out of him to make sure that i am better than them.. u know.. so i thought maybe if i had some time alone, i'd be able to figure things out.. see if i'd be happier without him .. but its just so hard right now
and queen, im a virgo
gko, i have felt the same way with my scorpio (Until) i just started not giving a crap but then again giving a crap... u know what i mean?? If he hasn't givin you any reason as you have stated jus Except that you have a good man and you are good enough to have such okay.Honey enjoy ur scorpio and take it as it comes.
If he is causing you to feel negativity then I agree with QS, do wats best for you,Only you can save your sanity. You'll be fine😉
If he is causing you to feel negativity then I agree with QS, do wats best for you,Only you can save your sanity. You'll be fine😉
thanks guys.. it means a lot to me.. we'd broken up a numerous times (lasted for a day or two though) and he said we keep doing it and wondered where to draw the line.. i agree with you blue..i do wanna stay with him.. but i do need to work on my insecurities.. simplyme, i totally see what ur sayin. maybe im not very comfortable with him knowing everything about me..? this one time i got a text from a guy that i used to be friends with benefits with and when my scorp asked about it i said he was just a friend with nothin else.. then he got it out of me and got really mad sayin i defended him all along.. i didnt want to keep the other guy around for any reason, but i thought it'd be weird to tell him off or tell my scorp the truth.. didnt see why i should..didnt think it'd be a big deal since he and i no longer see each other.. but my ex was very upset for the fact that id lied.. i just thought itd cause more trouble by tellin him.. so u guys say that i should stay and wait if i really love him.. scorp guys are great.. i really dont wanna let go completely.. but how would HE feel? u think it'd work out eventually?? thanks so much guys
latina.. u were speakin of my mind.. every question i've asked myself.. maybe imjust not ready for a relationship, period.. i will try, very hard to work on myself before i try loving him again.. maybe then, we'd be more happier.. thanks for ur advice.. im just worried if he'd wait for me too like he said he would..
Personally it sounds like you need some time for yourself. You have to love yourself enough to know your worth before you are truly able to love someone else. You don't need another person to validate your worth. I have been called stuck up or conceded before because I am never hesitant of letting someone know I am very clear of who I am and I know my worthiness.
Opposite to you. When my scorp friend and I were involved and were getting really close, he would say I was too good for him. I was baffled because I though he was a great person and we were just casual so it wasn't like ther would be some future expectations or aspirations for us. He just would always say "you are wife material, not casual hanging out material." I never got that. Still I know my worth but if I want to be casual I can and if I want to be a wife again I can, however I don't think either decision puts a value on what a person's worth is. He had a hard time explaining that to me.
Anyway. Take care of you. Then you can securely share in being with someone else. I think the break is a good idea for your sake.
Opposite to you. When my scorp friend and I were involved and were getting really close, he would say I was too good for him. I was baffled because I though he was a great person and we were just casual so it wasn't like ther would be some future expectations or aspirations for us. He just would always say "you are wife material, not casual hanging out material." I never got that. Still I know my worth but if I want to be casual I can and if I want to be a wife again I can, however I don't think either decision puts a value on what a person's worth is. He had a hard time explaining that to me.
Anyway. Take care of you. Then you can securely share in being with someone else. I think the break is a good idea for your sake.
BTW GKO, you are a very beautiful young lady. Know it and own it!
thanks so much guys.. u have no idea how much this helps.. although my heart is just aching so much.. i do feel that i dont have that great of relationships with my family members.. my sister andi are really close but she does think that i tend to be cold/selfish sometimes.. i need to work on finding my true self.. i can see it clearly now.. then along the way i will be able to decide what i want to do with my ex too. he and i broke up back in 06 cuz he thought i was cheating on him with this one guy texting me and that i didnt trust him.. i guess for the same reason? lol.. i just need time to fly by so i can be free!
scorps are so great though.. theyre loving caring and they know u like no other.. i miss him so much already 😢
thanks latina, ur so kind.. im also afraid cuz his ex is comin back in town from texas (im from california) and they've been keepin in touch.. she used to be a stripper and knowin my ex, im kinda worried that somethin will happen.. i even asked him and he said he's not interested at all.. we were supposed to go down to LA with a group of friends this weekend but all this happened.. but he still invited.. i didnt want to though since i was ready to do this.. anyway, if we were meant to be those months will fly by and we will be together again =)
simply.. this IS my most serious relationship.. and it is true that he and i talked about that we're both afraid to get too involved.. knowing thatwe're not gonna get married and eventually breaking up u know?? being scared of that and other things not workin out.. but what do u mean by dive in??
Sounds like Scorp may not be the sign for you. I'm dating my third Scorpio right now (a good one, finally!) They're all secretive, it's just their nature. If you're a suspicious person, this will put you in the crazy house. If they are hiding something, you will NEVER KNOW - unless you can intuitively pick up on it, or hire a P.I.
Also....who gives a shit about the exes? Or any other woman for that matter? You need to build some self-esteem. If someone is with you and not with an ex, doesn't that solve the issue?
My boyfriend and I have talked about this, and he knows if something is up, my pisces psychic radar will pick up on it. I made it very clear that if I ever found out anything was going on behind my back - that's it! I'm done....FOREVER! Now he knows what will happen, and if I mean enough to him, he'll see to it that it won't.
Women seriously need to stop worrying about other women so much. Jesus. Get a backbone and recognize your own worth rather than worrying about whether or not another female is better/prettier/smarter than you. There will ALWAYS be someone who fits any or all of those categories, but it doesn't detract in any way from the unique combination you have to offer. If a man doesn't recognize that, it's his problem - Get a new one. Or stay single and maybe..I dunno, set some goals for yourself or something? Go back to school...get a hobby...?
Men get real tired, real fast of insecure, overly-jealous and vindictive partners - especially Scorpio. They do not like being probed or nagged. How would you feel if you were constantly accused of something you didn't do? I would be out the door.
Also....who gives a shit about the exes? Or any other woman for that matter? You need to build some self-esteem. If someone is with you and not with an ex, doesn't that solve the issue?
My boyfriend and I have talked about this, and he knows if something is up, my pisces psychic radar will pick up on it. I made it very clear that if I ever found out anything was going on behind my back - that's it! I'm done....FOREVER! Now he knows what will happen, and if I mean enough to him, he'll see to it that it won't.
Women seriously need to stop worrying about other women so much. Jesus. Get a backbone and recognize your own worth rather than worrying about whether or not another female is better/prettier/smarter than you. There will ALWAYS be someone who fits any or all of those categories, but it doesn't detract in any way from the unique combination you have to offer. If a man doesn't recognize that, it's his problem - Get a new one. Or stay single and maybe..I dunno, set some goals for yourself or something? Go back to school...get a hobby...?
Men get real tired, real fast of insecure, overly-jealous and vindictive partners - especially Scorpio. They do not like being probed or nagged. How would you feel if you were constantly accused of something you didn't do? I would be out the door.
***Women seriously need to stop worrying about other women so much. Jesus. Get a backbone and recognize your own worth rather than worrying about whether or not another female is better/prettier/smarter than you. ***
I agree the only concern I think would be if a woman has a suspicion or grounds to prove that a man is unfaithful, when in a serious relationship especially if they are having unprotective sex. It is too scary out here.
Otherwise. It should only be about you and him.
I agree the only concern I think would be if a woman has a suspicion or grounds to prove that a man is unfaithful, when in a serious relationship especially if they are having unprotective sex. It is too scary out here.
Otherwise. It should only be about you and him.
Although you will never truly know if someone is cheating on you or not. Like Sea Siren said, you have to let them know the automatum if they stray.
My ex admitted what I told him, kept him in line even if thought about straying. I told him, "Look, you are a man and you sometimes hang out with your friends and I know what kind of women are out here. I don't expect you to stray at all however if there is a slip up, You better not let me ever find out, use protection and don't embarrass this family (no woman coming knocking on our door talking about you the baby daddy) if you use protection there would be no third situation and if you remain faithful to your wife niether of them will be necessary. "
He was floored. Literally had his mouth open and said, "No one would be able to stray with all that on their concious" I responde: "Good". 😉
My ex admitted what I told him, kept him in line even if thought about straying. I told him, "Look, you are a man and you sometimes hang out with your friends and I know what kind of women are out here. I don't expect you to stray at all however if there is a slip up, You better not let me ever find out, use protection and don't embarrass this family (no woman coming knocking on our door talking about you the baby daddy) if you use protection there would be no third situation and if you remain faithful to your wife niether of them will be necessary. "
He was floored. Literally had his mouth open and said, "No one would be able to stray with all that on their concious" I responde: "Good". 😉
hey guys,
i really appreciate all ur help.. thanks! I've decided to let it all go.. and move away for school when i come back from my trip 🙂 although i told him i'd contact him in the near future, we're officially broken up now and i think it's a good chance for me to move on finally.. it's been a very tiring relationship and i feel better already.. although i miss him very much.. im pretty determined to move on and find my true self.
thanks again to everyone!
i really appreciate all ur help.. thanks! I've decided to let it all go.. and move away for school when i come back from my trip 🙂 although i told him i'd contact him in the near future, we're officially broken up now and i think it's a good chance for me to move on finally.. it's been a very tiring relationship and i feel better already.. although i miss him very much.. im pretty determined to move on and find my true self.
thanks again to everyone!
"as i mentioned before, i think if a person has placed lots of her attention to her appearance all her life and most of the compliments she received espeically from men are mailnly about her looks (instead of her personality and brain), she would have this particular problem."
I agree, Sagi, I've known many very lovely women who constantly need reassurance from everyone (including their friends) that they are attractive. I'm sorry, but I can't deal with the attention-whoring aspect of that. But honestly, I've noticed the same insecurity among women who would not be considered attractive. Men compliment me on my looks, which actually makes me feel weird. I never know how to respond. I would much rather be complimented on my intelligence or my personality because that's what matters. I fully accept that there are women more attractive than me, and that's fine. But when it comes to intelligence, knowledge and witty comebacks....I kick most of their asses. 😉 It's all about knowing yourself, and accepting your strengths along with the weaknesses.
"Although you will never truly know if someone is cheating on you or not. Like Sea Siren said, you have to let them know the automatum if they stray."
Absolutely! And they have to know you mean it! I really pull no punches with that. I don't give second chances when it comes to loyalty. It's the Scorpio in me. 😉
"I've decided to let it all go.. and move away for school when i come back from my trip"
GOOD FOR YOU! You will meet all kinds of new people, and most importantly, get to know yourself better. Good luck!
I agree, Sagi, I've known many very lovely women who constantly need reassurance from everyone (including their friends) that they are attractive. I'm sorry, but I can't deal with the attention-whoring aspect of that. But honestly, I've noticed the same insecurity among women who would not be considered attractive. Men compliment me on my looks, which actually makes me feel weird. I never know how to respond. I would much rather be complimented on my intelligence or my personality because that's what matters. I fully accept that there are women more attractive than me, and that's fine. But when it comes to intelligence, knowledge and witty comebacks....I kick most of their asses. 😉 It's all about knowing yourself, and accepting your strengths along with the weaknesses.
"Although you will never truly know if someone is cheating on you or not. Like Sea Siren said, you have to let them know the automatum if they stray."
Absolutely! And they have to know you mean it! I really pull no punches with that. I don't give second chances when it comes to loyalty. It's the Scorpio in me. 😉
"I've decided to let it all go.. and move away for school when i come back from my trip"
GOOD FOR YOU! You will meet all kinds of new people, and most importantly, get to know yourself better. Good luck!
"as i mentioned before, i think if a person has placed lots of her attention to her appearance all her life and most of the compliments she received espeically from men are mailnly about her looks (instead of her personality and brain), she would have this particular problem"
Oh boy that is really the worst thing any woman can do to herself. That is why we see most of the actresses from the older generations becoming depressed and besides themselves. It even comes out in interviews. Two of the very few older actresses I've seen who seem to be very comfortable with themselves are Lauren Bacall and Helen Mirren. Why? Because their personalities supercede their looks. Bacall was more famous for her personality than her looks back in the days......and so is Helen Mirren.
I was recently watching an interview with Sophia Loren and she just seemed so utterly miserable. Most of the actresses her age or younger are usually depressed because their looks have deserted them and their entire worth was based on their beauty.
Oh boy that is really the worst thing any woman can do to herself. That is why we see most of the actresses from the older generations becoming depressed and besides themselves. It even comes out in interviews. Two of the very few older actresses I've seen who seem to be very comfortable with themselves are Lauren Bacall and Helen Mirren. Why? Because their personalities supercede their looks. Bacall was more famous for her personality than her looks back in the days......and so is Helen Mirren.
I was recently watching an interview with Sophia Loren and she just seemed so utterly miserable. Most of the actresses her age or younger are usually depressed because their looks have deserted them and their entire worth was based on their beauty.
thanks simply.. its been 5 days and i already feel better. i dont feel as obsessive anymore( thinking about him 24/7) i found myself workin and gettin through the day without thinkin about him as much.. and i got back in touch with all my old friends and going to uc davis picnic day tomorrow yay! everything's starting to get better.. thanks im bored at work so ill check out the site hehe.. =D
so... he called me on sunday sayin that he misses me.. and we saw each other (we'd said that we'd always be there for each other.. ) it was when he got back from his LA trip ( i was supposed to go) with his friend and his gf.. said he really missed me on his trip. anyway, so i told him about my plan to move and he said he'd visit me and stuff.. so i guess things are going better and i duno where it's gonna take us but he told me he has a feeling that we will be in an on and off relationship fora long time.. i decided not to be afraid and just go with whatever happens.. and "dive in" =)
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